Series Starter : Firsts in Series Collection

by Kaylee Ryan

  “McKinley, I can’t even tell you how much this means to me.” He turns to look at Mom. “You too, Momma Mills.” He grins, using the name he’s called her all his life. “I can’t thank you enough for watching her for me. I don’t know if I could have left her with anyone else.”

  “She’s my granddaughter. Of course, I’m going to watch her,” Mom says, like he should already know this.

  “And we share a middle name; we’re best friends,” I say with a grin.

  Evan’s brown eyes lock on mine. I hear Mom say something about laundry and her footsteps as she leaves the room. Evan takes a step forward, aligning our bodies. He places one hand on Lexi’s back and the other caresses my cheek. He doesn’t say a word, just keeps his eyes trained on mine. When he leans in closer, my heart stutters in my chest. Evan’s lips softly press against mine for mere seconds before he pulls away and kisses the back of Lexi’s head. “I’ll see you soon,” he whispers, before turning and walking away. I watch him through the glass as he climbs in his truck and drives away.

  “Oh, Lex, your daddy, he has no idea what he does to me,” I confess to her.

  “Evan gone?” Mom asks, startling me. How long has she been there? What did she see?

  “Yeah, he’ll be back at lunch time. This little one has her hooks in him.”

  “Um hmm,” Mom says.

  Shit! “What do you mean um hmm?” I ask her.

  “Just agreeing with you, dear.”

  Double shit! “Let’s watch some cartoons, Lex.” I leave her car seat and pick up the diaper bag. Whatever Mom thinks she’s seen, or happened to see, is not what it looks like. Evan and I, we’re not…we’re just not.

  Lexi falls asleep not ten minutes into our cartoon date. I know I should put her down and let her sleep, but she’s just too sweet and I love to cuddle her.

  “You’re going to spoil her,” Mom says, taking a seat on the couch beside me.

  “I know, but…”

  “But nothing. If we hold her all day, Evan is never going to get sleep at night. She’s going to get used to it and refuse to sleep without someone holding her.”

  Knowing she’s right, I stand and place Lexi in the pack-n-play I bought yesterday. I figured it would be easier if we had our own, less for Evan to take back and forth. I got a good deal on it at Target.

  “You want to talk about it?” Mom asks.

  “Talk about what?” Damn it, she did see him kiss me.

  “McKinley, I’m your mother. I know when something is bothering you.”

  “Your radar must be off. Everything’s fine,” I lie. Evan’s kiss still has me reeling.

  “Fine, I’ll talk, you listen.” She turns sideways, pulling both legs up on the couch. Looks like this is going to be a long listening session.

  “The chemistry between the two of you sucks the air out of the room. The way he looks at you, follows you with his eyes—I’ve watched it for months, but what I saw today,” she shakes her head. “That boy’s fighting what he feels for you,” she says matter-of-fact.

  “Mom, he’s grateful for all the help I’ve given him. He had no clue how to prepare for Lex, and I felt bad for the guy,” I lie right through my teeth to her face. I’m a terrible liar.

  “If that helps you deal with what’s happening, you can pretend all you want.”

  “He’s Aaron’s best friend.”

  “And yours too,” she fires back.

  “Exactly. Listen, yes, he’s gorgeous and he’s a great guy, but there is nothing between us. He’s close to me now, leaning on me as he learns his way. That’s all this is. You’re mistaking appreciation for attraction.” I turn to look at Lexi sleeping soundly. I can feel Mom’s gaze on me.

  “How did the pictures turn out?” Her question surprises me. It’s not like her to give up when she feels so strongly about something. Maybe she was just trying to feel me out, get me to confess. She really doesn’t think our chemistry sucks the air out of the room as she put it.

  It does. It so does, but maybe, just maybe, she’s oblivious and I can keep living in the land of pretend.

  Turning to face her, I find she’s smirking. Shit. No such luck. She’s giving me this, letting me tell myself there is nothing there. I need to be more careful.

  “The pictures turned out so great. Lexi looks adorable. I sent them off for print. I bought a ton and blew a few of them up for Evan as well.”

  “He’s going to be surprised. That boy has always been an Alabama fan. That’s a nice thing you did.”

  I shrug. “Guys don’t think about things like that. I did it for Lexi just as much as Evan. She doesn’t have a mom to dress her up and make sure she gets her picture taken. A mom to make sure she will have those pictures and memories to look back on when she’s older. Evan’s learning his way. He’s not thinking about making sure he documents her milestones. He’s too focused on learning how to keep her alive—his words, not mine,” I chuckle.

  “They’re both lucky to have you. I can’t wait to see the pictures.”

  “Don’t worry, Grandma, I got you a few copies as well. I want them to be a surprise or else I would grab my laptop and show you.”

  “I can handle that. So, you have anything in the studio today?”

  “No, I kept it open. I knew Evan was going back to work today.” I stop there, afraid if I say more I’ll reveal what I’m trying so hard to deny.

  Chapter 29

  Evan

  Two months today. It’s hard for me to believe I’ve had her for eight whole weeks. It still seems like yesterday. She’s growing and changing every day, and she no longer sleeps all day long. Kinley and her mom are great about keeping her up during the day and our nights have gotten better. It’s hard as hell doing this on my own. Well, I’m not alone; Kinley has been there every step of the way, as have Aaron and their parents. My parents have been going crazy with wanting to see her. I’m going to have to make a trip to see them soon. Dad’s too weak to travel. I’ve been putting it off because I don’t think I can do it alone. I’ve been trying to find a way to ask Kinley to go with me. I hate to take her from the studio, but I need her.

  Speaking of Kinley…

  Me: Hey, I’ll be there to pick you girls up at three for Lexi’s appointment.

  Kinley: Okay, but, Evan, you got this.

  Me: Are you bailing on me, Mills?

  Kinley: Never! But you got this daddy thing down.

  Me: At home, but out, not so much.

  What if we’re out and she needs something, or something happens that I can’t handle. What if the doctor asks a question I can’t answer about my own daughter? Kinley went with me on her first appointment. I asked her to go again on the second, and for this one, I didn’t ask, just told her the day and time and made sure she knew we, as in the three of us, needed to be there.

  Kinley: We’ll be ready.

  Me: Thank you.

  I shove my phone back in my pocket and go back to the paperwork surrounding me. I love the business, working with the horses, even the cattle, but the accounting part not so much. It’s a necessary evil.

  Glancing at the clock, I have three hours before I have to pick up the girls, and I still have to meet with the staff about some new horses coming in this week. With a heavy sigh, I dig into the pile of receipts, no longer able to put it off.

  “Let’s get dinner,” I suggest to McKinley once we are back in the truck. Lexi passed her two-month check-up with flying colors. She had to get vaccines this time. That was so fucking hard. She wailed and I wanted to push that damn nurse away from her. Instead, I scooped her up in my arms as soon as she was done. Her cries turned to a whimper, and when McKinley started talking to her, she stopped all together. It appears that not only am I enamored with Kinley, but my daughter is as well.

  “Sure. You sure you’re ready for this?” she laughs.

  “Yeah, you’re with me. I wouldn’t do it by myself, not yet anyway.”

  She just shakes her head at me. “Evan, you
know what you’re doing, and I know for a fact you would rather cut off a limb than hurt that little girl.” She points in the backseat.

  I don’t say anything, because she’s right. “What sounds good?” I ask instead.

  “Well, we need to go somewhere family friendly.”

  “Pizza?”

  “Perfect.”

  It’s always easy between us, just something else to add to my ever- growing list of how amazing she is. Like I need that list to grow.

  “I’ll grab a high chair for her seat,” Kinley says, holding the door open for me. She has her purse and the diaper bag slung over her shoulder, while I carry the car seat. I stand and watch in fascination as she talks to one of the waitresses, who nods her head. “She’s going to bring it over,” she says, smiling as she stops to stand in front of me. “She said we could sit anywhere. I say away from the door. We don’t want all that cold wind on Lex.” She turns to walk toward the back of the restaurant.

  All I can do is follow her.

  “Here you go,” the perky young waitress says. Kinley sets the car seat on the chair and it fits snug. Huh, I would have never known to do that. “Your daughter is adorable,” she says to Kinley.

  “She’s not…thank you,” she says softly.

  The waitress hands us menus and tells us she’ll be back. “I’m sorry,” Kinley says immediately.

  Looking across the booth, I see her face is red with embarrassment.

  “Sorry for what?”

  “I let her think Lexi is mine. I shouldn’t have done that. I just…It was easier than explaining that we’re friends. Shit, I should have just said she’s my niece.”

  Reaching across the table, I clasp her hands in mine. “McKinley, look at me.” My thumb traces her knuckles as I wait for her to look at me. “Please,” I give her hands a gentle squeeze.

  She looks at me from under her lashes.

  “You didn’t do anything wrong. You are the closest thing to a mother this little girl has ever known. Fuck, Kinley, we could only be so lucky if you held that role for her, for both of us.” I clamp my mouth shut, already saying too much.

  “Evan.” My name falls from her lips.

  “No,” I cut her off. “Forget it. You did nothing wrong. It’s no one’s business.”

  “This is a small town,” she counters.

  “Yeah, and I don’t really have two fucks to give any of them. You, McKinley, have been there for us---” I point to a sleeping Lexi in her car seat “---from the minute I found out about her. Let them say and think what they want.”

  “Y’all ready to order?” the young waitress asks.

  We order a pepperoni to share and water to drink. I wait for the waitress to leave before I lighten the mood. “So how are things in the studio?”

  “It’s going really well. I’m beyond thrilled with my clientele. Word of mouth seems to be the best advertisement.”

  “You do good work; that speaks volumes.” I’m not just blowing smoke up her ass. She really is phenomenal at what she does. A slight blush tints her cheeks and I know I’ve distracted her from our earlier conversation.

  The rest of dinner is easygoing. We’re both relaxed and talk about our week so far. Lexi wakes and I feed her a bottle while I listen to Kinley talk about getting her website up and running.

  “Thanks for today, for letting me pull you from your work to go to her appointment with me, and for dinner. It was nice to get out, and Miss Lexi did great.”

  “You’re welcome. It’s not a hardship to spend time with either of you,” she says.

  I want to pull her across this seat and kiss the hell out of her. I want her to come home with me and curl up beside me in my bed, on her side of the bed. Yes, I still refer to it as her side. I’m truly fucked when it comes to this girl. My attraction only grows stronger each day. How am I going to continue to fight this?

  “I’ll let you two get home.” She climbs out of the truck and opens the back door. The truck is so tall she has to climb into the backseat, but she does it without complaint. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Miss Lexi. You be good for Daddy.” I watch in the rearview as she kisses two fingers and places them on Lexi’s cheek.

  Like I said, truly fucked!

  Once I get home, I get Lexi settled on the floor on a blanket underneath her baby gym—that’s what Kinley calls it—while I sit on the couch and go through my mail. When I get to the envelope from an attorney in Tennessee, I’m confused. Ripping it open, I read the words three times just to make sure I’m comprehending what this lone piece of paper is saying.

  They want my daughter.

  What. The. Fuck!

  Lexi coo’s on her blanket and I have to fight back the tears threatening to fall—tears of anger and worry because they want to take my baby girl. Reaching for my phone, I swipe the screen and hit the first number on my favorites list.

  “Yo, what’s up, bro? You were just here, you should have come in to say hello,” Aaron says.

  “They want to take her.” My voice is hoarse.

  “What? Wants to take who? What the hell’s going on, man?” he asks. I can tell he’s worried, as he should be. He can hear the pain in my voice.

  “Lexington,” I whisper her name.

  “Are you home?” he barks into the phone.

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m on my way.” The line goes dead. I drop my phone and fall to my knees. I scoop my baby girl up in my arms and hold her close. She coos, making her sweet baby noises, and the emotion that’s been threatening to bubble to the surface since I read that fucking letter the first time, falls from my eyes.

  “Evan!” I hear Kinley yell.

  Kinley!

  Turning at the sound of her voice, I watch her run into the living room. She stops when she sees me, and tears begin to fall from her eyes, matching mine. I stand to greet her. She loves my little girl as much as I do. “Evan,” she breathes my name. I have Lexi cradled in one arm, and I hold the other one out to Kinley, an open invitation to come to me.

  I need her.

  She wraps her arms around my waist and I do the same, holding her tight against my chest—my girls, both of them.

  “Fuck, bro, what the hell is going on?” Aaron asks.

  Kinley steps back, and I want to stop her, but I don’t. “Got home today and was going through the mail, got that letter.” I point to the letter now lying on the floor.

  Aaron bends to pick it up, and I watch his face as he reads the words. “Holy shit. Can they do that? Misty’s gone?”

  “Apparently.”

  “Can who do what? What do you mean Misty’s gone?” Kinley looks up to me, searching for answers.

  Reaching out, I run my thumb under one eye then the other, wiping her tears. “Misty died in a car accident almost a month ago. Her parents are suing me for full custody of Lexi,” I explain.

  “What? No, they can’t do that.” She turns to look at Aaron. “Can they do that?”

  Aaron holds up the letter. “Says here they are claiming Evan can’t give Lexi what they can.”

  “Of course, he can. He loves her,” Kinley fires back.

  “I know.” Aaron holds the letter up. “This states that they feel they can provide the guidance she needs with both a father and mother figure in the household.”

  “Bullshit!” I seethe.

  “She signed her rights away,” Kinley sobs. “She gave her up. This sweet, beautiful little girl, she just gave her away. She didn’t love her. They have no right.”

  “I don’t really know much about the laws, but I know there are grandparent rights and all that. Not sure how that works if the parent signs away their legal rights to the kid,” Aaron says, worry in his voice.

  “Fuck!” I yell, the sound startles Lexi and she starts to cry. Kinley steps close to me once again and starts to sing as she rubs her back. Lexi calms instantly.

  “It’s my guess this is a farfetched attempt. They can’t claim you are unfit, so they are claiming that psychologic
ally she will be better off with a mother and father figure—ironically enough, the relationship their own daughter refused to provide to her,” Aaron says.

  Now that I’ve calmed down, I call bullshit too. “Yeah, I was pissed off and scared as hell at first, but now that you’re here and broke it down, I agree.”

  “We need to get married,” McKinley blurts out.

  “Say again?” Aaron says.

  McKinley looks up at me. “We have to get married, Evan. You’ll have a wife and Lexi will have a mother. They will no longer have an excuse to take her from us.”

  From us. This girl.

  “Kinley,” Aaron says softly. I can see this is tearing her up.

  “No, Aaron. You know I’m right. If Evan gets married, they have no fight. I’m the best choice. I won’t hold him to the marriage after all this shit blows over, and it would be believable. I’ve been there since he found out. I was there when she was born. Hell, Mom and I watch her,” she ticks off items one by one, raising her fingers as she does.

  “McKinley, I can’t let you do that. There has to be a way to fight this.” Those are the words that come out of my mouth. Inside, I’m screaming YES!

  “I’ve been to all her doctor appointments. I’ve been there, Evan. This will work. I know it will. We can’t let them take her.” She breaks on a sob.

  “It’s crazy as hell, but she has a point, man. This would kill their only concern and the reason for the suit,” Aaron agrees with her.

  What the hell?

  “Evan, can I…can I hold her, please?” McKinley asks, her voice small. As bad as I want Lexi in my arms, I can see the real fear in Kinley’s eyes as well. She needs this just as much as I do. I give my baby girl a kiss on the top of her head before passing her to Kinley.

  I watch Kinley as she holds her close; she loves Lexi. Never in a million years did I ever imagine this is how things would be; never thought I would be contemplating marrying my best friend’s little sister. Hell, she’s my best friend too.