Weird Theology

by Alex Raizman

  “No, Enki, you can’t. You never could.”

  “Don’t you see?” Enki bellowed. “I’m thrashing this little punk. I’ll tear you apart. I can merge nanoverses, I have the power I need.”

  “That’s not what I meant, Enki.” Crystal took a deep breath and readied her sword. “Your plan only works if you slaughter enough people. It always had that flaw, the one flaw you couldn’t see. Týr is dead. Your merger kills gods. Probably the people in the nanoverse, too. No matter what, your plan is just another Deluge.”

  Enki howled in rage, and Crystal hurled herself at him, bringing her sword around in a wide arc aimed at Enki's neck.

  She expected him to dodge, or maybe even pull something out of his own nanoverse and parry. She didn't expect him to just raise his hand, catching the blade like it was plastic. A thin line of blood came from his fist, but it was obvious that it didn’t bite his skin as deeply as it needed to.

  "Dumb move, bitch," he growled, bringing his hand up in what would be a devastating blow, but Crystal was already moving away, dropping to the ground. No point to meeting him in the air anymore, he holds the edge there. How did he get so bloody strong? In the distance, she heard something let out a horrible roar. Athena!

  No time to worry about her. Enki slammed into the ground feet first, only inches away from crushing Crystal. She was able to dance out of the way, but the impact still left a crater where she had stood. "You lost! Just admit it and die already!" He threw out his hand towards her, sending a gale of wind hurtling her way. She stuck her sword into an ice patch and held on.

  Enki’s windstorm struck her with the force of a tornado. She felt her fingers start to slip on the hilt and thrust her other hand forward to get a better grip. It was a short sword, meant to be wielded with one hand. It didn’t offer much room to grab it. She clutched at the cross guard, letting the blade bite into her fingers a bit. The wind stripped up rocks and sent them hurtling at her. One struck Crystal on the shoulder, another on the forehead. Each blow almost broke her hold on the sword, but she managed to stay safely anchored.

  Although the sword anchored her, it opened her up to a new attack. With his hand still outstretched to buffet her with wind, Enki brought down his other hand, and a bolt of lightning leapt from the clouds to strike her. Crystal gritted her teeth as lightning coursed through her and into the ground through the sword. He brought down his hand again, and another bolt struck her. She heard someone screaming. She knew it was her.

  "Just. Die!" This time the lightning didn't vanish immediately, but struck and continued to pulse energy. She could smell her skin burning, feel lines of agony racing through every inch of her body. The small part of her brain that wasn't consumed with pain offered up one small thought.

  This can’t be how it ends!

  Crystal clenched her fists. She had come so close, so goddamn close. A million of years of waiting. A million years of fighting and holding on to some shred of sanity. A million years, all to get up to the finish line. The end in sight. The Eschaton was found, the end was coming. I was going to do better! I wasn’t going to let it happen again!

  And now she was going to die under Enki’s lightning. Crystal tried to force her legs to respond, tried to push her way to her feet. Something, anything. Some way to fight back. But Enki’s assault was relentless. The electricity didn’t let up, and as it coursed through her body her muscles would not respond.

  Already she could feel the skin on her hands and feet start to char. Crystal screamed, a sound of agony and rage and despair. She had come so close. This couldn’t be how it ended.

  She was still screaming when the lightning stopped. She was momentarily deafened as thunder rumbled around her. She blinked her eyes, barely able to see. Enki stared at his arm. Or what was left of it. It ended at the elbow in a charred stump. Shock wore off, and Enki howled in pain. Clutching at the stump, Enki leapt into the air again. Not to attack, this time, but retreating into his castle.

  Crystal glanced over her shoulder. Ryan had risen slightly off the ground, his own arm outstretched. By the equations that were dissipating, it looked like he'd pulled all the heat from the lightning to a single point, centered on Enki's elbow.

  Bless you, Ryan.

  "We need to..." she gasped, her mouth full of copper. "We need to follow. We have...to finish him."

  Ryan shook his head and said two words. "Moloch. Athena."

  Crystal's brain, still reeling from lightning, took a moment to process what he meant. If they went into the castle after Enki, they'd have to face Moloch at the peak of his strength. And if she was still alive, they had to save Athena. She nodded and slowly, achingly, they both rose to their feet and began to limp back.

  Chapter 25

  First Blood

  The rock sheltering Athena had adopted the structural integrity of a wooden statue of swiss cheese. The lindworm lunged at her again, and what remained of the boulder shattered. Athena dove to the side, barely missing becoming the lindworm’s lunch. Snarling at its escaping prey, the monster reared up again.

  Athena reached down, grabbing a block of ice out of the ground, and with a quick twist shaped it into a shield. The acid splashed against the improvised barrier. She was still forced to hop back - the shield was as large as she could make it, a proper hoplon shield, but it still left her legs exposed. Athena clenched her teeth as droplets of acid splashed against her legs.

  The shield was already breaking down from the acid. Athena had to pull more water from the air to and hold it together, thicken it, strengthen it. Bast fired a few rounds. The shield cracked under the bullets, but they didn’t punch through. If they circle me, I’m done for, Athena thought, leaping back to make sure that didn’t happen.

  The sword in her hand had never felt more useless. If she couldn’t get close, she couldn’t counter attack. If she couldn’t attack, she’d eventually be worn down. There was no denying that. I need better protection.

  Athena twisted reality again, wrapping herself in a vortex of wind. It barely came up in time - Bast had gotten to the side and opened fire. The vortex couldn’t deflect bullets, but it could redirect them enough. None of the shots landed on Athena as they buzzed by like furious hornets.

  Athena used the same vortex to push herself into the air. Not true flight, that would be a waste of power, but enough to get her over the Lindworm’s acid spray, enough to get her mobile so she could fight back. She angled her shield to meet the lindworm’s attack as it rose towards her. The acid was blocked and she let the force of the spray carry her a bit higher in the air. Bast took the opportunity to fire a couple shots, but Athena was able to twist out of the way again.

  “Damn, Athena, you really don’t know when you’ve lost,” Bast said, reloading her pistols. “I mean, really, at this point - how long do you think you can dodge?” Athena had to roll as she hit the ground, the Lindworm already spraying another green line her way. “Another ten minutes? Fifteen? Either way you’re dead as soon as you slip up.”

  Bast fired a couple more rounds. One of them tugged on Athena’s sleeve, the other sent a few strands of hair falling. Too close. Bast was right, to a point. Athena couldn’t attack right now, could only dodge and weave. Eventually she would slip up, and then she would die. Bast would crush her nanoverse, and that would be the end.

  Assuming I don’t have a plan. Which, thankfully, I do.

  She let another leap take her airborne, but pausing to pat herself on the back had been a mistake. The shield didn’t come up quite in time for the next blast of acid, some of it splashing over the edge and onto her shoulders. She let out a hiss of pain, hearing her own flesh sizzle under the spray, but maintained her course. Almost there…

  Bast raised her guns to fire again. The pain from the acid slowed Athena, and she felt one of the bullets graze her arm. Any closer and it would have punched a hole in her. She fumbled with the leap and found herself landing in a heap at Bast’s feet. Damnit, Athena thought as Bast started raising the guns
. “Finally,” Bast said with a triumphant smile.

  Athena brought down her sword with every ounce of speed she could muster, driving it through Bast’s foot and pinning her to the ground. “Agreed.” As Bast hissed in pain, Athena counted one-one thousand and rolled again, a final twist fusing sword and stone.

  Bast’s eyes widened and she threw out her hand. She hissed in pain as some of the lindworm’s acid spray splashed over the meager wind she conjured.

  Athena took a deep breath in the momentary respite. Used up so much power I’m starting to need to breathe.

  “You stupid shitty dragon! Stop trying to spray her and just bite her in half!” Bast screamed. The lindworm, obedient to her will, stopped the spray of acid and began to slither across the ground towards Athena.

  Athena rose to meet it, pulling a new sword out of her nanoverse. The weight surprised her for a moment - they had new blades made from depleted uranium. She made a mental note to check back on them after the battle, but at the moment she was thankful for the added heft, even though it made the cut in her arm and acid burn on her shoulder groan in greater pain.

  The lindworm reared up like a cobra, then lunged down with jaws spread wide. She met the bite with the heavy blade, drawing a line of blood from the roof of its mouth. It reared back, hissing in agony, and then blinked at her with a comically confused expression. Every instinct it had told it to avoid another bite, but its mistress had commanded it to bite.

  Athena took advantage of the lindworm’s confusion to slice a chunk out of its scaled hide. More of the bright red blood spilled out, steam rising from the heat in the winter air. Pain from the dual cuts seemed to bring the lindworm clarity - it had been forbidden from using the acid, but not from clawing at Athena, which seemed far safer to its reptilian brain.

  Athena tried to parry the lindworm’s strikes, but the weight of the sword worked against her - she couldn’t move it quite fast enough to block both blows, and the Lindworm batted her away. She hit a rock hard and felt a rib crack.

  Get up, Athena. Get up or you’re dead.

  The lindworm saw it too, and raced across the ground towards her, ready to finally take its meal. Athena held up her sword in a final act of defiance. Just as the lindworm was rearing back for the final bite, an invisible hand slammed it to the ground with enough force to crack the stone below. Athena raised her arm to protect her eyes from the shards of rock flying away from the impact. The lindworm thrashed under the invisible bonds.

  Athena glanced around, afraid to hope, and let out a shout of excitement. She regretted it as soon as she did, punctuating the shout with a groan of pain from the broken rib. Still, seeing Crystal and Ryan standing there was a relief she had needed. They were both injured and leaning on each other for support, but their hands were outstretched - each one had massively increased gravity on a part of the beast, pinning it in place.

  “Are you serious?!” Bast shouted, nearly shrieking in pain and rage. “Enki didn’t manage to kill even one of you?!”

  “So it would seem,” Athena said, rising. She blocked out the pain as best she could. Crystal and Ryan both looked ready to pass out from the effort of saving her, which meant she had to keep Bast focused on her while they kept the lindworm pinned.

  Bast was reaching into her nanoverse, and Athena hurled the depleted uranium sword at her. It stuck in her good leg and drug her to the ground. Athena kept stalking towards her.

  “Athena...we need to get back…” Ryan gasped out.

  Athena shook her head. “Not yet, Ryan.” Athena held out her hand, and the lighter sword that had been impaled into Bast’s foot came flying out, eliciting another groan of pain from Bast. Athena caught it and bent over Bast, who grimaced and spat as Athena loomed closer.

  “Get it over with, Athena. I killed your man, you kill me, right?”

  Athena, again, shook her head. “You get to fight another day, Bast. If you send the lindworm and varcolaci back. Call them off, and I’ll spare you for now.”

  Bast studied Athena’s face and sighed. “Fine.” She reached into her nanoverse - causing Athena to tense up - and slowly pulled out a horn. She sounded it, and the sound was repeated by the varcolaci army ahead. “Hey, you stupid lizard!” Bast shouted, after the sound of the horn died down. “Back to the castle, now.”

  Crystal and Ryan released the gravity bonds, and it slithered back to where it came from.

  “Okay, Athena, I guess we’ll meet - URK!”

  Athena’s blade came down, driving through Bast’s gut and spine. “And now,” she whispered through gritted teeth, her face inches from Bast’s. Blood was starting to pour from the other woman’s mouth, “I’ve shown you the same faith you showed me.” Bast tried to say something, some retort, but she could only let out a wet rattle before she died.

  Ryan and Crystal said nothing. Athena patted Bast’s pockets and swore. “Her nanoverse...she must have thrown it away when you showed up. We have to get it back! We have to…” She saw the look on her companions’ faces. Ryan was barely standing, his face a swollen mess. Crystal was covered in lightning burns and her clothing was half melted to her body. For that matter, Athena had acid burns, a bullet wound, and broken ribs.

  None of them were in any shape to head into the ocean right now. Athena sighed. “Let’s...let’s get back.”

  “Good call, love.” Crystal’s speech was slurred. “After all, we’ve got round two tomorrow, yeah?”

  Athena could only nod, feeling the exhaustion settle into her bones.

  ◆◆◆

  By the time they got back to the castle, night had begun to fall. The already overcast sky was rapidly growing darker, and the moon was just a vague spot of illumination behind the clouds. All of their Hungers were screaming for attention, at least for Ryan and Crystal. Athena, in spite of her broken rib, was in the best shape of the three, so she diverted from the group to talk to Astaroth while the other two went to find food.

  “How did the rest of the battle go?”

  Astaroth, his armor dented in places but his skin unbroken, sighed a heavy, weary sigh. “To paraphrase a scholar from your homeland, too many such victories and we’ll be undone. We can’t put the varcolaci down permanently, ma’am. The bastards die, but their souls stay in their bodies and heal up. We’ve tried the classics - silver, salt, garlic - but we haven’t found their allergen yet.”

  Athena pursed her lips into a thin white line. “And your demons?”

  Astaroth’s neck tightened with frustration. “The varcolaci are not angels or god, so they can’t permanently kill us, but it’ll take a full month for any of my legion that falls up here to reform back in the pit. If the battle comes down to us and them, they’ll win through attrition. It would help to have a goddess in the fight”

  Athena brushed aside the note of reproach in his voice. I had more important matters to deal with. Instead, she chewed on her lip, and then nodded. “It won’t come down to that. As long as you can keep the varcolaci busy so we can focus on their gods, we will.”

  “And we’ll do that for as long as we can, but you need to understand,” Ashtaroth made sure he had Athena’s gaze before continuing, “we will eventually be worn down to the point where we cannot keep the fight going.”

  “Understood.” She handed Ashtaroth the depleted uranium sword. “Try this, perhaps they’ll be weak to it.”

  He accepted the sword with gratitude, and Athena went to find her companions.

  ◆◆◆

  As Athena broke off to talk to Ashtaroth, Crystal and Ryan found their way to Crystal’s staging area. In there, they dove into the sandwich storage. They took some back to the castle and were eating in silence when Athena found them. Crystal motioned to an untouched sandwich when Athena walked in. “For you, love. You still like tuna, yes?”

  Athena answered by grabbing the sandwich and taking a large bite. Ryan looked at her and gave a weak smile. “I’m guessing no good news from the demons?”

  “They can’t per
manently kill the varcolaci, and they heal faster than the demons. Our forces will be overwhelmed in time.”

  “So that’s a no. At least we’re ahead some, right? With Bast out of the picture, I mean.”

  Crystal smiled sourly. “Oh,” she said, “there’s no doubt we’re in a bloody better spot than we were before. But Ryan, you haven’t told Athena the best sodding part yet, yeah?”

  Athena looked at him expectantly. “Enki’s found a way to use multiple nanoverses. He’s drawing power from both his and Týr’s.”

  They watched as Athena clenched both teeth and fingers. “That’s impossible,” Athena hissed. “How?”

  “I don’t know. But he let it slip when we were fighting. Or figured he was going to kill me so it didn’t matter.”

  “But the two of you were able to fight against him, so the three of us should be able to best him…” Athena trailed off when she saw that Crystal was shaking her head.

  “The problem there, love, is we didn’t really hold our own. We got in some sucker punches, sure, and Ryan did take his arm and eye, but both times we got bloody lucky or caught him off guard.” Ryan noticed for the first time the burn marks the lightning had left on Crystal’s arms. They looked like trees with thick trunks that started near her shoulders and a spider web of branches that arced towards her hands.

  Athena threw up her hands in frustration, startling Ryan. “Then what do you suggest we do? Lay down and accept our fate?”

  “You know I didn’t mean that, Athena. Bloody hell, I’m just saying we should stay realistic about things? We need a solid plan or we might as well just give up!”

  “Okay,” Ryan said, cutting off the argument before it could develop too much further. They both turned to look at him, and he continued. “Let’s whiteboard this. We need to figure out how to beat Enki after his...I dunno, double apotheosis? Dubpotheosis, let’s call it that.”