The Run Around

by Bernadette Franklin

  “The caterers are on board and working with the regular ship staff now, and the kitchen is fully stocked. We bordered on being over capacity, but we made use of a few staff refrigerators and freezers until we’re through the reception. We’ve made a list of the overflow, and one of my permanent staffers is making sure nothing is misplaced. Too much is better than not enough. The flowers are on board and in position, the bouquets are in my cabin until they’re needed, the wedding gifts are all accounted for and in their appropriate places. The gala gifts are in storage and are all accounted for, although the bride called me and indicated she wanted to move the gala gift distribution to during the reception. I cleared that with the staff, who liked the idea, but I said I would clear it with you.”

  Hooray! If the gala gift distribution happened during the reception, I could show up for the gala for all of ten minutes in the dress Juliette had insisted on making for me before fleeing back to the safety of my room. “I love it. That’ll also make it easier on your storage.”

  “Which leads to the next surprise and the reason the bride wanted to move the gifts to the reception.”

  Surprises were bad. Surprises were very bad. Surprises meant I would have to plan around said surprises. “I’m afraid to ask.”

  Captain Wellans led me to the gangway to board the ship, gesturing for me to go first. “It’s nothing bad, and it’ll make for a good time during the rest of the cruise. There’s a prime snorkeling destination four days into the cruise, and she inquired about whether it was possible to stop there before we returned to New York. While we hadn’t been initially planning a stop, I was able to make arrangements. The bride took care of most of the work, and I assisted her with the rest. She thought we might break you if she added something on the spur of the moment. She handled all of the snorkeling equipment, and after the wedding, it will be donated to schools local to where we’ll be snorkeling. A few local tour guides will be accompanying everyone. The hardest part will be doing the head count of everyone who leaves and boards the ship, but that’s something we’re already accustomed to doing.”

  Okay. I could only foresee a thousand things that could go wrong with the unexpected snorkeling stop. No big deal. I could handle it. “What do you need from me to make it happen?”

  “If you fail to show up in appropriate swimwear, I have been instructed to make you walk the plank.”

  I paused in my walk up the gangway and regarded the distance from the lowest visible deck to the water. “That would probably hurt.”

  “I told her I wouldn’t allow any plank walking from the ship because of the chance of injury, but there is no reason you can’t be forced to walk the plank from one of the sailing ships that will be accompanying the group during the snorkeling trip.”

  Great. I could see Elizabeth making me walk the plank for fun, and I’d probably cooperate because it sounded like a good time. “What counts as appropriate swimwear? I have like seven different swimsuits with me. Which one is the right one? I mean, if she’s going to be holding a sword and acting like a pirate queen, I have zero problems with walking the plank as long as there are no sharks in the water.”

  “There are rarely any sharks in the snorkeling area, and there’ll be plenty of small ships for the wedding guests to use should one be spotted. There’ll also be rescue divers on hand should there be any issues.”

  Captain Wellans led me on board, where I was greeted by a startling number of the crew, who wore black suits marked with the ship’s logo on the shoulders to distinguish them from the guests. Men and women alike wore slacks and bowties, which amused me.

  I loved bowties, and wished more people wore them.

  “This is Hope, and she’s the wedding planner for the event. While we’ve discussed this before, should any guests attempt to make changes, you are not to implement anything without Hope’s approval. The guests will begin boarding in an hour, so go over your final preparations. We have a three-hour window to board all guests before we set sail. Don’t worry if the boarding process takes longer than normal. We do have up to four hours to set sail if necessary. I don’t expect any problems with this part of the boarding process. If a guest has forgotten their invitation, confirm their attendance using an identification card or passport. Any questions?”

  I figured the captain made me visible and offered the opportunity to question me to keep his crew at ease, and everyone seemed rather cheerful for the wretchedly early hour. To my amazement, nobody spoke up.

  “Come with me, Hope. I’ll show you to your cabin. The bride demanded you have one of the state rooms, but I had an extra cabin on one of the lower decks set aside for you. As such, she believes you will be in the state room, but you will be able to retreat to the smaller cabin at your leisure. I figured you would need some peace and quiet after dealing with the ceremony and reception. There are a total of ten empty cabins available should a guest also need some privacy during the cruise. I have one of those cabins reserved for anyone who happens to become particularly seasick, as it’s in one of the best places to mitigate rocking and allow for them to get their legs under them or undergo treatment.”

  Seasickness was something I’d worried about from the day we’d confirmed booking the Pearlescent Star. “Hopefully we won’t have many who get seasick.”

  “With the number of precautionary measures you’ve taken, I think it’ll prove one of the better voyages for that. The weather has checked out, although there’ll be one afternoon of potentially rough seas. Fortunately, the rough weather will be at the end of the voyage, and we’ll clip it on the way back to port unless something changes.”

  The weather could be a fickle mistress, and I did my best to ignore the one problem I couldn’t do something about. “Thank you, Captain Wellans. If there’s anything I can do to make this go smoothly, please let me know.”

  “At this point, I believe you’ve done all you can. After tonight, it should be smooth sailing for the rest of the trip, with the exception of the dinner party on the last evening. Knowing the crew, there won’t be any significant problems. You’ll find them to be excellent at their jobs.”

  I hoped so, or I’d have a mess on my hands.

  Boarding early gave me a chance to take a tour of the cruise ship and confer with the staff handling the wedding and reception. The wedding itself would take place on the largest of the decks, and while a tight squeeze, those who couldn’t fit could watch from one of the other decks on a large-screen television. According to my list, half of the guests had opted for watching from afar.

  The strategically placed open bar had something to do with that.

  Unfortunately for me, I was to stand at the very end of the bridesmaids, and as such, I would be wearing a dark red dress, as I was one end of the rainbow. The maid of honor, one of Elizabeth’s closest friends, would be wearing a purple dress with the rest of the bridesmaids filling in the rest of the rainbow. While I wasn’t the only woman wearing red, I had the darkest of the dresses. The groomsmen endured the same brutal color scheme, with the white of the bride and groom forming the central piece of the wedding.

  Elizabeth loved the rainbow, and Juliette had enjoyed the challenge.

  I couldn’t help but notice the cruise ship lacked suitable holes to hide in to get out of participating in the wedding. While the wedding guests boarded, I hid in my state room, which had a splendid view of the water from the top cabin deck. While I’d heard that some of the larger cabins connected to each other, I hadn’t expected to get one of them. A balcony would make my reading adventures particularly pleasant assuming no one came to bother me. I wouldn’t hold my breath for that, but I’d try to enjoy as much reading time as possible.

  While I’d escaped the general boarding process, I hadn’t dodged a gift. The ‘basket’ was numerous baskets, a few boxes, and a ridiculous number of smaller bags, all in the same color of my gown. I couldn’t scold the bride for going overboard, and I’d learned enough about the woman to know she’d ask me if I’d liked
what she’d gotten me, eliminating ignoring the excessive number of presents as an option.

  Heaving a sigh, I grabbed the largest basket, put it on the king size bed, and glared at the opaque red metallic paper preventing me from getting a preview of what lurked within. As Elizabeth had a rather dry sense of humor, I could see her inflicting one of a hundred harmless pranks on me. Bracing for confetti, glitter, or something equally heinous, I untied the red ribbon holding everything together, peeking inside.

  A fortune of chocolate piled into a basket waited for me along with the box for a new e-reader, a high-end model I’d been drooling over; it boasted waterproofing for poolside reading and could hold tens of thousands of e-books for my enjoyment. I abandoned caution, tore into the basket, and grabbed for the box.

  Someone had tied the damned thing to the basket along with a note, and I scowled at the obstruction. Pulling the wrapper away, I flipped open the folded note, which informed me I needed to investigate the rest of the basket before I played with my new e-reader and possibly miss the wedding due to being caught up in my latest read.

  One late-night call with Edward had exposed my book-hoarding tendencies, and I assigned blame to him for the well-aimed note and gift. I freed the basket from the wrapping paper and obeyed his orders, checking out my excessive collection of chocolate that would likely last me through the entire cruise and quite possibly until Christmas. As the note implied I should check everything out, I obeyed, sorting through my candy until I discovered the tricky bastard had buried more things beneath my chocolate.

  To go with my sweets were a collection of hard sausage, a knife to cut them with, and a note informing me that there were cheeses in the refrigerator for my enjoyment. Beneath the sausages I found a red-wrapped present. As the basket had yet to bite me, I tore into it to discover a new collar and leash for my dog and a new harness for my cat, who might never stop growing.

  My vet had promised she’d stop growing eventually. I didn’t believe him.

  One last thing waited at the bottom of the basket, a rather thick envelope, which I pulled out to discover the e-reader’s string was attached to it. I separated it, flipped the envelope over, and opened it. Several gift cards, including one meant for the online bookstore, tumbled onto the bed along with a card depicting a kitten playing with a puppy.

  Inside, a short note informed me that Elizabeth and Edward had reviewed the application for a new furry addition to my household, which they had approved. I furrowed my brows, wondering what had gotten into them—and why they would be even considering furry additions to my household.

  I had a dog and a cat. I didn’t need another dog or a cat. However, should a dog or a cat fall from the sky and land on my lap in need of a good home, I doubted I could say no. Edgar Allan Paw adored other dogs, and Lenore was a dog trapped in a cat’s body.

  The soon-to-wed couple was about to goose me somehow, I just knew it.

  I would just have to surrender and accept a new pet in my life. Such tragedy.

  I hated being played, especially when I understood I would be played in a way I couldn’t refuse. My apartment had enough space for another dog, and my landlord would love yet another furry tenant.

  Jacob loved animals more than life itself, and I bet he campaigned to spoil my pets. Spoiling them wouldn’t take much work, as I went out of my way to make them the happiest of animals, providing them with attention on demand, sharing my bed with them, and even taking them on car rides on the weekend because they expected to go to work every day. Instead of work, I took them either to the beach for some time outside or to a park.

  When the weather didn’t cooperate, we walked through the apartment complex, I drove them around the city for a while, and I went to one of the bookstores that welcomed dogs but allowed my cat inside when they realized she was a dog who’d been born the wrong species.

  They loved the trips to the bookstore, as they always got treats from the staff. Trips to the bookstore also meant I spent time reading by the fireplace, which they both enjoyed.

  I missed my dog and my cat.

  To amuse myself, I set up my new e-reader while I still had reception, plugged my gift card into the site to discover some insane person, likely Elizabeth, had given me a thousand dollars to read through.

  Well, then. If she wanted me to stay in my cabin most of the voyage and read books, I would. I lost thirty minutes buying every book on my wish list before tearing through the new releases to find a good variety to keep me occupied. Once done, I put my new toy in my purse so I could grab every spare minute escaping from reality as possible.

  After returning everything else to the basket and setting it on the floor, I went for the next package in line, the second of six baskets.

  It contained a bottle of red wine, a nice one from the looks of it, a pair of wine glasses, a bottle opener, and a book, which offered the clue that Elizabeth believed I was in dire need of help to catch a man. According to the sticky note attached to it, I needed glasses and to read the book several times.

  To add insult to injury, although I couldn’t help but laugh, Edward left a note, too, which supported his wife’s claim while also offering a talk if I needed help figuring out how to have a love life.

  Then, because the pair couldn’t leave me alone, the bottle of wine came with a condition: I needed to pop it open with someone of the other gender. I would earn bonus points and their favor if I allowed the gentleman I lured to my state room to feed me some of my chocolates.

  Shaking my head and giggling at the insanity, I returned everything back to its basket and fetched the next one. Continuing the theme of adding inches to my waistline, the basket contained crackers, jams, jellies, dried fruits, nuts, and everything else a woman might need to nibble on while reading books. I assumed the basket was one of the base presents given to most guests, although I’d appreciate the easy access to things to eat without having to deal with people.

  A knock at the door prevented me from discovering my other treasures, and sighing, I opened it.

  A grinning Rick waved at me. “The captain told me you’d escaped to your cabin, so I thought I’d come visit before everything went to hell. I come bearing a gift.”

  More gifts? Sure enough, he held a small gift bag in his hand, and it followed the red scheme of my other gifts. I laughed and held open the door for him. “Come on in, but be aware of the various traps on the floor.”

  “Traps?”

  I pointed at the open baskets.

  “Ah. I see you are exploring your gifts. They refused to tell me what they’d gotten you, and Elizabeth caught me on the way in and told me I had to give this to you. I have no idea what’s inside, but she seemed really concerned it hadn’t gotten sent to your room already. As such, to prevent the bride from having a fit on her special day, I agreed to play the delivery boy. My cabin is next door, but I haven’t been to it yet.” Rick held the bag out, and when I took it, it didn’t weigh all that much.

  If it contained more gift cards for the bookstore, I would not complain. Using the bag, I gestured at the connecting door. “That one?”

  “That one,” he confirmed.

  “If you don’t hear from me, I’m probably reading a book. They gave me a new e-reader and a nice gift card to go with it, and I intend to enjoy some quiet time with a good book. If you could drive away unwanted visitors, I’d appreciate it.”

  “You are welcome to read on my balcony if the visitors become too numerous for your comfort. They probably will. You’re the wedding planner they haven’t conquered, which is a first in my lifetime. My family understands if they bother me without a good reason, I’ll get snappy with them. You can come hide out in my cabin whenever you need a break. Honestly, I expect to be doing a lot of hiding, too. It’s bad enough I have to wear a red suit. I got a consolation prize, though. Juliette made me a black one in the same cut so I’d stop sighing. I look like a bloody pigeon in a red suit. The only benefit is that we match, since we’re both at the end o
f the line. I can’t believe Juliette made bridesmaids match groomsmen. Worse? Most of us are still single, so everyone in the family will get ideas. You’ll likely get off lightly because you’re not British.”

  My brows shot up at his admission. “Are you serious?”

  “Yeah. I didn’t know my suit was red and matched yours until about thirty minutes ago. That was when Juliette found me and had fun at my expense.”

  Poor Rick. Poor me, too. “To be fair, I had no idea who would be on the groomsmen side of things. We had separate rehearsals.”

  “That was Elizabeth being evil and wanting to keep the pairings secret. She didn’t like having to do two sets of rehearsals, but she wanted her secrets badly enough to do it.”

  I shrugged. “I just thought she liked spending even more money, honestly. Because two rehearsals cost her twice as much.”

  “That, too. She’s having a little too much fun attacking her father’s wallet for the wedding. Edward has done his share of attacking his family’s wallet, although he’s paid for most of it himself. His family only contributed out of familial obligation.”

  “Familial obligation?”

  “They viewed it as shirking their time-honored tradition to help pay for the wedding. The groom is usually supposed to pay for the wedding, but Elizabeth wasn’t having any of that. She hates being traditional.”

  I could easily see that, as very little of the wedding was technically traditional. As a whole, the bride and groom used the structure of a traditional wedding, but beyond exchanging vows and having a reception, they did most things backwards. While they would accept wedding gifts, they wanted to be the gift givers. They wanted a celebration, but they wanted the focus less on them and more on the families and friends being together for their union. “Were you aware of the snorkeling venture?”

  “I found out about it last night. I took the liberty of scolding my cousin rather fiercely over the inevitable heart attack she’d give you springing a snorkeling trip on you out of the blue.”