Snow on the Roof

by Sean Ashcroft

  Sunny’s stomach turned over at the thought of facing Grant, and his ex-wife, and another total stranger, but he finished the last mouthful of his juice and followed Hope into the living room.

  “Mom says I’m old enough to paint my nails now,” she said excitedly. “Look at all these colors,” she added, picking up a box full of bright, bold nail polish bottles that she’d obviously been given for Christmas.

  Sunny grinned at her enthusiasm. He remembered buying himself a similar box when he’d been a teenager, hiding them away in his room, being scared of what would happen when his parents noticed, but determined to stand his ground over it.

  They’d been cool about it, in their usual, generally apathetic way. Not enthusiastic, but it had barely gotten a mention. His mom had said she liked the color.

  He’d picked up another bottle of it and given it to her, relieved that he wasn’t going to have to argue over it. Most things had been like that with his parents. They were supportive, in their own, quiet way.

  They just also hated to rock the boat, so Sunny was on his own if anyone else took issue with his nail polish, or his choice of clothes, or the one year he’d mentioned a boyfriend.

  He’d learned pretty quickly not to do that in front of his uncle.

  “What color do you want?” Hope asked.

  “You pick for me,” Sunny said, sitting down next to her on the couch.

  “What if we do red, green, yellow, and blue, and white, like the Christmas lights?” Hope asked.

  As hideous as he knew that would be, Sunny didn’t hate the idea at all. It was Christmas. He was allowed to have hideously bright nails. Besides, if it made Hope happy, he wasn’t going to argue. “Works for me. We’ve gotta get the glitter off first, though. Do you have remover?”

  “And cotton rounds,” Hope said, grabbing both items out of a Christmas gift bag with a puppy in a Santa hat on it.

  Sunny liked Hope already.

  “I watched a lot of YouTube videos about this,” Hope explained.

  “That’s how your dad learned how to start a fire,” Sunny said. He could see that she was definitely Grant’s daughter. “Do you know the easy way to get glitter off?”

  Hope shook her head.

  “Okay, well, this is an ancient secret, passed down generation to generation,” Sunny said.

  He’d actually also learned it from YouTube, but what was the point in making friends with a kid if he couldn’t pretend to be unfathomably wise?

  “You take a cotton round and split it in half, like this,” Sunny said, peeling the two sides away from each other. “And then in half again,” he added, demonstrating by pulling on each side of the round until it split into two half-circles.

  Hope watched him intently, which made Sunny feel like a genius.

  Maybe this was why people had kids.

  Probably not the only reason, but it was kind of cool to feel smarter than usual.

  “Then you soak it in remover and wrap it around your finger,” he said, demonstrating how on his own nail. “And leave it for about a minute. Then it just wipes right off. Otherwise you have glitter nails until it all chips off, which isn’t good for your natural nails.”

  “How do you know so much about this?” Hope asked.

  Sunny smiled to himself. “I’ve been painting my nails for ten years.”

  “Wow,” Hope said. “You’re really old.”

  Sunny burst into laughter, unable to help himself. He was old, he supposed, compared to Hope.

  “Thanks, I think,” Sunny said, glancing over to Grant just in time to catch him watching them. He smiled, and to his relief, Grant smiled back.

  Maybe not all was lost.

  Grant waved the gift Sunny had put under the tree for him, still in its paper, and then strode over to the couch to sit down on Sunny’s other side.

  Joon and Julia were sharing an armchair, which was incredibly cute. They seemed to have the kind of relationship Sunny would have loved.

  “Can I open this?” Grant asked.

  “It’s got your name on it,” Sunny responded, excited to see his reaction. He’d known it was the perfect gift the moment he’d seen it, and Grant had been so good to him that he couldn’t resist.

  Grant grinned like a little boy, tearing the paper off eagerly. He was already wearing a brand new scarf, which Sunny assumed had been a gift from Hope, considering how bright it was.

  It suited him. Grant wore a lot of muted colors, for obvious reasons, but he could have afforded to branch out. Sunny would have loved to fill his wardrobe with loud shirts and clashing ties. He could pull it off.

  “Oh,” Grant said softly as he realized what he was holding. “This is…”

  It was a book of black-and-white landscape photography, and when Sunny had flipped through it, he’d known it was something Grant needed to own.

  “Perfect,” Grant finished after a moment, running his fingers over the short Grant, this made me think of you, Merry Christmas from Sunny inscription.

  He’d thought about putting love, Sunny, but it had seemed like too much at the time.

  Now…

  He was falling for Grant, hard and fast. He knew it. That was why it had hurt so much to be afraid that Grant wouldn’t want to explain him to his family.

  “I’m glad you like it,” Sunny said softly, wiping the polish off his nails one by one and then offering his hand to Hope to let her get to work. “Merry Christmas.”

  Grant smiled at him, squeezing his knee as he stood. It was the smallest of gestures, but it spoke volumes.

  Things weren’t over yet. Grant still wanted to be near him.

  That was all Sunny could ask for right now.

  19

  “I want Sunny on my team,” Hope said, pointing to him and grinning.

  He’d become her new best friend in the space of an hour, which made Grant's life all kinds of complicated. Normally, he wouldn't have chosen to introduce someone so new in his life to Hope.

  But she clearly liked Sunny, and judging by the way Sunny laughed and moved to stand by her side, he liked her, too.

  Hell, he’d let her paint his nails without a single complaint. Even Grant might have hesitated at that.

  He could have learned a thing or two from Sunny. Sunny was a much, much freer man than he’d ever dreamed of being.

  “Guess that puts you on my team,” Julia said from beside him.

  Joon had stayed inside to work on things for dinner. He was a smarter man than Grant. Prettier, too.

  Which was why Grant still didn't quite get what Sunny saw in him. Even out of the five people in the cabin, Grant wasn’t the best choice.

  Sunny saw something, though. Grant couldn’t get over that.

  “On the count of three?” Sunny asked, already eyeing off piles of snow.

  Grant kept forgetting he was a local. He’d know what he was doing.

  Grant, on the other hand, was a born and raised city boy. It was hard to have a snowball fight from an apartment.

  And then he’d gotten too old for it. Like he had for a lot of things.

  Except Sunny clearly didn't feel too old for this.

  “One,” Hope started the countdown. “Two…”

  Grant glanced around, looking for cover.

  He wasn't prepared for this.

  “Three!” Hope said.

  Grant watched just long enough to see Sunny grab a handful of snow, turning to run in the hopes of dodging it.

  The snow crunched against his shoulder as it hit him, breaking up on impact.

  He was relieved that it didn't really hurt, though he was expecting to end up with a bruise or two from this.

  Another handful hit him in the thigh, and he turned around to see Sunny high-fiving Hope, both of them grinning.

  It was hard to feel betrayed when his two favorite people were getting along so well.

  “Daddy, you have to run,” Hope called to him, even as she took a lesson from Sunny in how to form the perfect snowball. />
  Grant picked himself up, looking around for cover again.

  The shed. He could hide behind it, in the corner, and pounce on anyone who found him.

  Well, maybe. If he was fast enough. But of everyone playing, he was the least agile. He had no idea how to move through snow, and he was too old to learn.

  As long as it made Hope happy, he didn’t really mind suffering through this, but he was starting to realize that snowball fights were harder than they seemed.

  With a burst of energy, Grant threw a snowball wildly in Hope and Sunny’s general direction and then took off, the sanctuary of the house in his sights.

  Grant slid around the corner and ducked behind the woodshed, taking a moment to catch his breath. He grabbed a handful of snow, ready in case Hope or Sunny followed him.

  He knew he was the easy target. He was both bigger and slower than Julia, and less likely to be able to defend himself.

  Besides, he hated confrontation.

  Just as he was thinking that, Sunny appeared around the corner, a perfect snowball in his hand.

  Grant glanced at his own sad attempt, hesitating to throw anything at Sunny.

  He realized that was a mistake as Sunny's snowball hit him in the shoulder. All the same, he dropped his own and held his hands up.

  “Will you accept a surrender? I'm not much of a fighter.”

  Sunny chewed on his lip, humming. “Do I get to set terms?”

  “What do you want?” Grant asked.

  Sunny stepped toward him, closing the gap between them in two strides.

  “This,” Sunny said, darting in close to press their lips together before Grant could react.

  Not that he would have stopped it. Kissing Sunny was, above all else, a relief. Sunny didn’t regret last night.

  At least, if he did, he had a funny way of showing it.

  Grant laughed happily as Sunny broke off, humming when he leaned in again, cold lips warming up as Sunny’s tongue darted out to sweep across them, encouraging Grant to give him access to his mouth.

  Warmth flared up in Grant’s gut, too. Before Sunny, he’d almost forgotten what real arousal felt like. Nothing turned him on like Sunny did.

  He wasn’t sure anything ever had. Sunny was so perfect, and his lips were so soft, and his mouth was so warm.

  He looked great naked, too.

  Above all else, he was kind. Kind to Grant in a way no man had ever been.

  Normally, Grant was a cautious man. He didn’t like to rock the boat, or take unnecessary risks, or do anything that might make people raise an eyebrow.

  When it came to Sunny, though, he didn’t care. Sunny was a risk worth taking.

  “I like this way better than a snowball to the face,” Grant said, resting his hands on Sunny’s waist to keep him close.

  “I was going to drop a handful of snow down the back of your sweater, but that seemed a little cruel. You’re at a disadvantage.”

  “Disadvantage?” Grant raised an eyebrow. Sunny had told him off for calling himself old every time the subject had come up, and now he was at a disadvantage?

  “You hesitated because you’re too nice,” Sunny said. Even though it was phrased like a criticism, Grant could see it wasn’t. Sunny was smiling at him as though he was the best thing in the universe.

  That felt so good. Grant didn’t know what to do with all the feelings he suddenly had around Sunny, but he didn’t hate them at all.

  He wanted more. As much more as Sunny would give him.

  “Maybe I’m nice so you’d feel bad dropping snow down the back of my sweater?”

  Sunny shook his head. “No, you can’t help it. And I like you too much to betray you like that.”

  Grant beamed at that, his heart swelling in his chest. It made him feel so good to hear that Sunny liked him. He wanted to keep hearing that.

  With a surge of confidence, he reeled Sunny in by the front of his sweater, kissing him harder than before, nipping at his lower lip and enjoying the soft, needy sound he made in response, the warmth of his body.

  Sunny hummed against Grant’s lips, rubbing their noses together and smiling, his eyes closed softly.

  Grant opened his mouth to tell Sunny how much he liked this, how glad he was that it wasn’t a one-time deal like he’d been afraid it might be, how happy he was right now. Just as he took a breath to say all that, though, Julia rounded the corner, catching him with his nose still touching Sunny’s.

  If she hadn’t been sure before, she would be now.

  Sunny backed away, apparently realizing Grant had paused. His eyes widened as Grant nodded in Julia’s direction, the pink blush on his cheeks from the cold draining away.

  He spun around, staring at her for a few long heartbeats.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said.

  Before Grant could stop him, he broke into a run, slipping past Julia and disappearing around the corner.

  Julia dropped the snowball in her hand, brushing her gloves together to get the excess snow off.

  Grant pressed himself against the shed behind him, half hoping to sink into the woodwork. It would have been a lot easier than explaining himself.

  To his surprise, Julia smiled. “That was cuter than I imagined,” she said. “You looked happy.”

  Grant blushed, his cheeks burning in the cold air.

  “I was happy. Am happy,” Grant said. “Sunny makes me happy.”

  He felt like he was five years old again as he tried to explain himself to Julia, who’d been his best friend almost as long as Sunny had been alive.

  Sunny did make him happy. He hoped that would be enough for her to accept him.

  Julia smiled at him, one of the warmest, most genuine smiles Grant had ever been on the receiving end of. It made him blush harder, but it also released the last of the tension in his gut.

  He’d been worried about how Julia would react. Whether she’d be happy for him or not. Whether she’d judge him for the age gap between him and Sunny.

  “He seems sweet,” she said, repeating herself from earlier. “And you deserve to be happy.”

  “He’s…” Grant wet his lips. “I’ve got sixteen years on him.”

  Julia shrugged. “And I’ve got seven on Joon. He’s not even close to being underage. He clearly has a good head on his shoulders if he’s patient enough for you. You don’t need to feel guilty about that. Besides, men never grow up.”

  Grant laughed at that. She was probably right.

  Even though Grant felt old, he was still never entirely sure that he had adulthood figured out. He’d come to the conclusion that everyone else was faking, too, and if he just pretended he had everything more or less under control, no one would know the difference.

  He’d have to explain that to Hope one day, when she was older.

  Grant swallowed. Hope.

  “What about… what about Hope?” he asked, suddenly unsure again. “Is she gonna…”

  “Be okay with this?” Julia finished for him.

  Grant nodded. He wouldn’t have hurt her for the world.

  “You’re the best father I’ve ever met,” Julia said. “I know you don’t feel that way after you missed Thanksgiving, but trust me, you’re doing better than most men even bother to try. But I need to let you in on a secret that I was hoping moving away would help you figure out for yourself.”

  Grant raised an eyebrow. What secret?

  “You don’t die when you have kids,” Julia said. “Your life isn’t over. I know people act like it is, but that’s not how it’s meant to be. Hope would prefer to see you happy than have you all to herself. Even if she sulks a little in the beginning. That’s what kids do. For her sake, she needs to understand that her dad is a human being.”

  “She likes Sunny,” Grant said, remembering watching the two of them earlier. He wasn’t sure if Sunny had any experience with kids her age, but he seemed to have gotten the hang of it pretty quickly. “I just don’t know if she’ll want to share.”

  “You�
��ll always be her dad. No one can take that away from either of you. I know this is scary, believe me.” Julia smiled wryly. “I was terrified to tell you about Joon, but that’s nothing compared to how I felt about telling Hope. It’s worth it, though.”

  Grant wet his lips. These were all things he needed to hear, and his eyes were stinging with tears of gratitude. Julia would always be his best friend. She always knew exactly what to say.

  “The more good people Hope has in her life, the better off she’ll be. Does Sunny make your life better?” Julia asked.

  She knew the answer to that. Grant hadn’t shut up about him since they’d met.

  He’d tried not to give away the fact that he was falling fast for his PA, but Julia wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t exactly subtle.

  She’d known this was coming. That was why she had a speech prepared.

  “He does. Like you wouldn’t believe. He’s so kind and thoughtful and he just lights up a room even on the worst, dullest day. I-”

  Grant swallowed, cutting himself off. He hadn’t said he loved Sunny out loud.

  He did, though. All the way to his bones, he loved Sunny.

  “I know,” Julia said. “I can see it in the way you look at him. And don’t you want someone like that in your daughter’s life? In your life?”

  Grant looked down at his feet for a moment.

  As usual, Julia was right.

  He swallowed again, pushing himself away from the shed. “I think I need to go tell him you’re not mad. He seemed upset.”

  “Go. I’ll tell Hope I won.” Julia grinned.

  Grant couldn’t help smiling back. He still loved her, too.

  Not the same way as he loved Sunny, but no less. He was lucky to have all the wonderful people in his life that he did.

  And he needed to make sure he got to keep all of them close.

  “Thank you,” he said to Julia as he headed back toward the cabin. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” Julia said, stopping him as he walked past and kissing his cheek. “Go be happy.”

  Grant nodded, promising himself that he was going to do exactly that.