Unattainable

by Schlosser, Jamie

  My heels clacked loudly against the floor as I rounded the large fountain in the middle, ran past the closed gift shop, and scurried by the deserted lounge.

  Once I got inside the bathroom, I went straight to the stall at the end and clamored with the lock. Then I leaned against the tiled wall and tried to catch my breath.

  My head fell back with a thump as I berated myself for being such a chicken. What was I doing? Seriously, would talking to Aiden really be that traumatizing?

  Well, possibly.

  Suddenly, the heavy door swung open and the sound of footsteps carried through the room. Getting closer.

  And closer.

  The dull thuds scuffing across the floor were definitely more like large flat-soled shoes, not the high heeled boots Trisha was wearing earlier, but I held out hope that it was her anyway.

  “Trisha?”

  “Not Trisha.” The deep voice sent shivers down my spine.

  “The men’s room is next door,” I informed him primly.

  “I know.”

  “Well. That’s where you should be if you need to relieve yourself.”

  “I don’t need to take a piss, Corrie. I want to talk to you.”

  “While I’m taking a piss? Rude.” I tried for a nonchalant tone as I studied my poor chewed up nails.

  “You’re not.” He chuckled. The bastard chuckled, as if conversing about peeing was totally normal after a two-and-a-half-year silent treatment.

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I can see your feet,” he replied, right outside the stall now. “You’re standing the wrong way, so unless you’re purposely peeing on the wall, I’d say you’re avoiding me.”

  I stayed silent.

  “Come out,” he begged. “Please.”

  It was the quiet desperation in his voice that had me reluctantly reaching for the door handle in surrender.

  I hated confrontation. The tough-girl persona I had going on? It was a mask—my best defense against the harshness of this world.

  But regardless of my fragile heart, we needed to get this out of the way. Just one conversation to acknowledge each other, then I could move on.

  I could finally get the closure I craved.

  Putting on a passive expression, I slid the metal lock. It clicked under my fingers.

  When I stepped out, I placed myself several feet away from the handsome man in front of me; I’d thought he was irresistible before, so I certainly didn’t trust myself around him now.

  I looked up at him. Big mistake.

  God, he was so much more than I remembered. It was like all his best assets only got better with time.

  He’d removed his jacket, loosened the black tie, and rolled the sleeves of his white shirt up to his elbows, giving me a killer view of his tan muscled forearms.

  “Hi, Corrie,” he said softly, affection in his chocolate eyes.

  “Hi.” I glanced away and focused on the seashells decorating the walls. “Been a long time. How are you?”

  “I’d be a lot better if you’d look at me.”

  My eyes snapped to his, the straightforwardness catching me off-guard. Because this was reminiscent of the guy I used to like so much. So direct. No games.

  “That’s better.” He grinned, and I had to force myself to hold his unnerving stare.

  Don’t look at the dimple. It’s a trap.

  “So how are you?” he asked. Then with the next two words, he might as well have reached into my chest with his bare hand and squeezed my heart. “Truth dare.”

  Truth dare.

  It was ridiculous how two words could make me happy and hurt me at the same time.

  He didn’t mean Truth or Dare. It was a literal challenge. A game we used to play when we wanted to be open. When we wanted to bypass pretenses or politeness.

  It was how we got to know each other so well. No question was off-limits, but we only got one truth dare a day. Once you used yours up, you had to wait at least twenty-four hours before you could issue another.

  After rehearsals, we used to hang out and swap secrets. Trivial things, at first. Which teachers we liked and which ones we loathed. Who was dating and who was breaking up.

  Eventually, the conversations got deeper, and the truth dare was responsible for us both spilling our feelings for each other.

  “I’m great.” I plastered on a smile.

  Aiden flinched like I wounded him. “Don’t lie.”

  Several heartbeats of silence passed as we studied each other, and I would’ve given just about anything to know what he was thinking in that moment.

  His eyes still held a hint of sadness—something someone who’d experienced a great loss would always carry with them—but there was life and joy there, too, and I was glad to see that part of him had returned.

  He used to be one of the most cheerful people I’d ever met. He was goofy, sarcastic, and adorably awkward. And even if we weren’t meant to be, I still wished good things for him.

  “I’m very happy for you,” I said, dropping the act because I wanted to give him something true. “Congratulations on winning The Final Showdown and everything. I always knew you’d hit it big.”

  Squinting, he tilted his head to the side. “Funny, I thought the same about you. What are you doing, Corrie?” He motioned to my bag. “You could be doing so much more.”

  I winced at the obvious insult. Guess he wasn’t impressed with how my life turned out.

  Maybe his physical appearance wasn’t the only thing that’d changed, and it sucked to realize his opinion of me still mattered. Despite being one of the richest kids at our school, Aiden never acted like he was better than me, a lowly scholarship student. A charity case in the eyes of most.

  A wave of anger swept through me, because I’d worked my tail off to get where I was.

  “I’m doing the best I can.” I proudly lifted my chin. “You’d know that if we were still friends. You don’t get to judge what you weren’t there to witness.”

  Aiden jerked back like I’d slapped him. “I’m not judging you, I swear.”

  Immediate regret hit my system. Lashing out wasn’t fixing anything.

  I softened my voice. “I’d say working at a television network without a college degree is doing pretty well for myself. Success looks different for everyone. You have yours and I have mine.”

  I turned to leave.

  “I didn’t mean it as a bad thing.” Aiden’s hand snagged my wrist before I could make it to the door. “Wait. Please?”

  Without facing him, I said, “I know tonight was easy for me, but actual mixing in the recording studio? It requires high tech skill and knowledge of musical instruments that average people don’t have.”

  “I know. You’re so far above average.”

  “And I’m going to have to autotune the crap out of Georgina Willard if she makes it through—wait.” I peered at him over my shoulder. “I’m above average?”

  “Way, way above average. That’s all I was saying. And don’t worry about Georgina. She’s getting cut.”

  My eyebrows lifted. “You’re not supposed to tell me inside information.”

  “Well, I just did. We used to tell each other everything.”

  “Not everything,” I rebutted, pulling my hand away from his.

  There were parts of myself I’d kept hidden from him—the really weird parts—and I’d always second-guessed my decision to do so. Maybe if I’d shown him more, I wouldn’t have been so easy to forget.

  Nah. Scratch that. Being closed off—mysterious—was probably what kept him interested in the first place.

  “Apparently some things don’t change. You still bite your nails.” Grinning, he pointed to the finger I hadn’t even realized I was gnawing on like a dog with a rawhide.

  I glued my fist to my side. “I’m trying to quit.”

  Casually leaning against the sink, he seemed totally at ease when he asked, “So where are you living now?”

  Okay, so we were really doi
ng this—having a conversation like two friends who ran into each other at a coffee shop, not two exes who’d agreed to a committed relationship and then never spoke again.

  I crossed my arms. “Truth dare. Why didn’t you call me?”

  Remorse swam in his downcast eyes. “It’s a long story and I want to tell you.” He looked up at me. “When we have time, I will. The short answer is that I wanted to. I thought about it a thousand times.” In an uncharacteristic move, he shyly shuffled his feet and confessed, “A year after graduation, I asked around about you.”

  “Really?” I asked quietly.

  He nodded. “Someone from our class said you moved to Nashville.”

  “I did. At least, I tried. Do you know how much it costs to live in that city?”

  “Yes.”

  I raised a skeptical brow. “Have you ever done it on the wages of a janitor?”

  “No.” He frowned. “You cleaned for a living? Scrubbed floors and toilets?”

  The way his nose wrinkled with disgust ruffled my feathers. Maybe it was his hoity-toity attitude or the previous comments about my career choice, but I was back on the defensive.

  I opened my mouth, ready to dish out some snark, when a knock sounded at the door, followed by Theodore’s voice. “Bro, we need you back in there.”

  “Give me a minute,” Aiden called out, not taking his eyes off me. He lowered his voice. “I don’t want to leave things like this.”

  Okay, so we needed to wrap it up. End on a good note. I could do that.

  “To answer your earlier question, I live in Chicago,” I informed him before sheepishly adding, “At home with my parents. I DJ at several different nightclubs, but it’s not enough to pay rent in the city and all the expenses I have…” Trailing off, I didn’t specify what those expenses were. I didn’t need to bore the man with my financial struggles.

  “Come to my room tomorrow night after filming is over and have dinner with me,” he demanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.

  Say what, now?

  “Your room?” My voice cracked. “Dinner? Why?”

  “I need more than a couple minutes with you. We have a history and we need to discuss it.”

  Shaking my head, I waved a hand between us. “A mutual crush and an almost-kiss doesn’t exactly count as a history.”

  “Almost kiss?” he asked incredulously, rocking back on his heels. “Oh, we kissed. You don’t remember?”

  There was no forgetting it, no matter how much I tried. Many times, I’d wished I could replace it with something new. Someone new. But I’d never found anyone worthy.

  I sighed. “We don’t need to make this awkward, okay? We used to know each other. Now we don’t. End of story.”

  “No, not end of story.” Aiden’s hand slashed through the air, passion radiating off him. “Give me an hour of your time tomorrow night. Just one hour.”

  “That’s it?” I asked, and he nodded. That didn’t sound so terrible, and he wasn’t wrong about needing to hash things out. I still didn’t feel like I’d gotten the closure I so desperately needed. “Fine.”

  Blowing out a breath, his shoulders relaxed. “Nine o’clock. The executive suite.”

  “Great.”

  My hand reached for the door handle and just as I cracked it open, Aiden added, “Oh, and bring your swimsuit.”

  Shit.

  “SO HOW DRUNK WERE YOU last night?” Theo asked as he jogged beside me along the shore.

  “I wasn’t,” I replied in a huff. “I only had the one drink you got me. Why?”

  “I was just a little surprised to see you wander into the ladies’ room.”

  I didn’t have to glance his way to know he was sporting a shit-eating grin.

  “Don’t be an asshole,” I said flatly.

  “Second time you’ve called me that today. Such foul language. Am I a bad influence on you?”

  “When you wake me up at eight a.m. to go for a run, yeah,” I grumped. “I didn’t get to sleep until five.”

  “Neither did I.”

  “Sending four people home last night—or this morning, rather—was brutal,” I went on. “You saw them.”

  In my peripheral vision, I saw Theo cringe as he nodded.

  Out of the two men and two women who got the ax, three of them cried. Legit sobbing. I wasn’t ashamed to admit my heart was too soft to handle it. Destroying someone’s dreams wasn’t cool.

  Theo’s shoulder bumped mine. “Speaking of brutal, do you have any idea how hard it was for me to leave Hadley in bed this morning? At least she had Kenzie to cuddle with, or else she might not have let me go.”

  It took me a second to realize Theo was talking about the dog they’d just adopted. Two days ago, I let his wife use my private jet to go retrieve the yellow Labrador from a shelter back in Chicago. Now they were a happy family of three.

  Family wasn’t something I allowed myself to think about often. I was used to living on my own.

  Sure, I had Theo and a new sister-in-law, but I missed my parents.

  That was one subject my brother and I didn’t discuss.

  While we grew up in the same household, our upbringings were very different. I’d known my mom and dad to be doting and loving, but they’d played favorites to the extreme. They gave me anything I wanted—presents, vacations, private schools—while Theo had to go without.

  He’d spent most of his life resenting me, and I couldn’t blame him for it.

  It was hard to believe he and I had been estranged until a few months ago. Now, we were damn near inseparable.

  But as far as we’d come in our relationship, I wasn’t sure if he would ever be comfortable talking about the people who were supposed to love him unconditionally and failed miserably at it. He simply didn’t have the same memories I did, which made reminiscing hard to do.

  “Besides,” he went on. “Staying fit is part of this deal.”

  Still grumpy, I just grunted as I tried to ignore the burning in my lungs.

  Theo had been my gym buddy for the past three months, because having a ‘beach body’ was a must when being filmed shirtless by the ocean. I wasn’t in bad shape before, but I hadn’t been bulky and ripped like him.

  Well, I was now. And not only did he and I make a great team in the gym, together we were a professional force to be reckoned with. Last year, when I’d asked him to be the producer on Stranded with a Legend, I wasn’t willing to take no for an answer.

  Getting to spend time with Theo wasn’t the only reason I wanted him on board with the show.

  The creators were hoping for some action, and I didn’t mean drama. Well, they wanted that, too, but it didn’t take a genius to figure out their original plan had been to get me to hook up with someone.

  The daybeds strategically placed around the outskirts of the resort, meant to create a romantic atmosphere?

  The alcohol they were supplying twenty-four hours a day?

  And how all of the contestants just happened to be single?

  Hell, they were even supplying me with both genders, because they weren’t sure which team I played for since they’d never seen me date. It was the perfect setup for an on-screen romance, which was the last thing I wanted.

  Subconsciously, I’d been saving myself for Corrie. I’d always rebelled at the idea of dating because no one could ever compare to her.

  Theo was here as my buffer—the opposite of a wingman.

  He picked up speed, forcing me to go faster to keep up, and I sent a couple more swear words his way.

  He just laughed.

  The farther away we got from the resort, the more it seemed like we really were on an uninhabited island. There were no other footprints in the sand. No litter. Just endless blue water on one side and tall cliffsides on the other.

  The name of the show was a bit deceiving, because we weren’t actually stranded. This wasn’t Survivor or anything. Not even close.

  Located about halfway between Cabo and Mazatlan, Mexico, the isla
nd was affectionately named Nuevo Amor, because it was a popular destination for newlyweds. The upscale resort was the biggest attraction, but there were a couple quaint villages and hotels on the other side.

  Theo and I spent the next five minutes in silence as our bare feet hit the sand in a steady rhythm. Sweat trickled down my back as the sun rose higher and burned hotter in the sky.

  The sound of the waves to my left was soothing, and the water reminded me of home.

  Not Chicago-home; Corrie-home.

  It was impossible for me to think about swimming without thinking about her.

  “Wanna get in?” I asked Theo, tipping my head toward the ocean.

  He gave me an incredulous look. “We’re wearing gray workout shorts.”

  “Yeah. So…?”

  “So if I go back to the resort with this thin fabric plastered to my junk for all the ladies to see, Hadley will be pissed. That’s like, gray sweatpants times ten.”

  “Ohh.” I nodded, understanding.

  Then I laughed, imagining myself walking up to Corrie’s door for a surprise visit in wet shorts. Maybe an eyeful of my cock would put me back in her good graces faster.

  I snorted. I didn’t know a lot about women, but my guess was no.

  “What’s so funny?” Theo asked.

  Grinning, I shook my head. “Nothing.”

  “We’ll turn around up here.” Panting from exertion, he pointed ahead where the strip of sand came to a dead end.

  The beach thinned out, and the rock wall to the right began to crowd us.

  Only he didn’t stop when we got there. Splashing through the water, he trudged through knee-deep waves to go around the rocky peninsula.

  “What are you doing?” I followed him, and my jaw dropped when I saw the hidden cove on the other side.

  It was about the size of a baseball diamond, and the calm water was surrounded by a twenty-foot area of sand all the way around. The stone walls were tall enough to provide shade over half of it, and it felt good to be out of the sun.

  Turning in a circle, Theo spread his arms. “Welcome to Lover’s Cove.”

  “I had no idea you felt that way about me, but my heart belongs to someone else,” I deadpanned, then laughed at Theo’s unamused expression. “How come I didn’t know about this place? It’s not in the resort brochure.”