Against the Tide

by Meredith Taylor

  “That’s not what I’m doing, Mario. You just don’t know what it’s like to keep fighting every day and to get nowhere.” Darryn finally sat down next to Mario.

  “Of course I know what that feels like. That’s why I took the bursary. And that’s why I keep on going every day. If I just turned away opportunities, I’d still be back in Wellesley Park, sitting on a street corner, being angry at the world. But I’m here, making my life better. And you should be here too. We don’t have to end up living there for the rest of our lives. We have a chance to do better, not just for ourselves, but for our families.”

  The cogs in Darryn’s mind were turning, but he still felt defensive.

  “Get in the pool with me, right now,” Mario said, and pulled off his clothes until he was in his underwear. He jumped in, and watched Darryn.

  “What are you doing?” Darryn asked, still not moving from the bench.

  “Just get in! Stop being so full of it for one second and let your guard down! It’s just me here. You’ve known me for your whole life, and I’m asking you, as a friend, just get into the pool with me right now.” Darryn had never seen Mario like this before. His usual cheery, meek demeanor had disappeared completely. Darryn stood up and undressed, wearing only his underwear too, and jumped into the pool. He came up and pushed the water out of his face, and saw that Mario was laughing.

  Mario said: “Coach will kill us if he sees us now.” He shoved water in Darryn’s face and laughed. Darryn found himself smiling as well, and pushed water back at his friend.

  “You’re the one who shouted at me to jump in. I’ll just blame it all on you if Coach sees us.”

  They swam a lap together, and Darryn felt the exhilaration of being back in the pool after an absence of a few days. It was the longest that he had gone without swimming all year.

  “See,” said Mario as they reached the opposite edge of the pool, “this is your home. This is where you’re meant to be. Coach has gone out of his way to help you. And JP even dropped out of the finals so that you could get his spot.”

  “He what?” Darryn demanded, incredulous. “Why would he do that?”

  “When we handed in the forms together, he gave Coach some kind of story about how he was the one who had caused you to be so out of it during your race that he wanted to make it right. He said that he couldn’t live with himself if he took this chance away from you when you deserve it.”

  Darryn burst out in anger: “I don’t want his spot! He has no right to be so presumptuous! That jerk! Why would he do something like this?”

  “I don’t know, Darryn. But I know that even on your worst day, you still had one of the fastest times in the semi-finals, faster than some of the finalists. And I know that you deserve to be there. So take the spot and take the bursary.”

  Darryn got out of the pool and walked to his clothes. He got a towel out of his bag and dried his tall, lean body. “Thanks for the swim, Mario,” he said. “I just can’t do what you’re asking me to do. I’ve made up my mind, and I’m not going to change it.” He put on his clothes quickly, not looking back in Mario’s direction, and walked towards the exit.

  “Where are you going, Darryn? I thought I was giving you a lift…” Mario shouted behind him. Darryn disappeared without responding.

  Chapter 24

  Darryn made his way across campus. Test season was in full swing, and few students could be seen walking around. It was early evening and the breeze was cold on Darryn’s damp face and hair. He was happy to be away from Mario and Allison. He didn’t need any more lectures. Everyone had been acting like they knew what was best for him, and he was sick of the constant implication that he was doing something wrong. His father, Mario, and even JP had acted like he wasn’t already doing everything he could to keep things together and to fix the mess that he was in. What choice did he really have?

  He thought of JP dropping out of the finals to give Darryn his place, and filling in the forms for the bursary for him. He had to admit that it would make things a lot easier to just accept it. He could join the swim team again, stay at Ridgemont and even have some money to help Billy get into the private school where he would be happier. But Darryn would be ashamed if he accepted what JP had done for him. He would feel like he owed JP something, and like it would always be hanging over his head that he couldn’t do it for himself. He didn’t want someone to have to save him.

  Darryn was walking behind the swimming stadium building, towards the bus stop, and was deep in thought when he heard a voice calling from behind him. He turned around and his blood froze in his veins. He saw the one person that he most feared seeing. It was Peet, walking towards him briskly. The two goons were not far behind him, as usual, and Darryn knew that he was in trouble. He wouldn’t be able to outrun them to the bus stop as they were already too close to him. He looked around him for an escape route, and chastized himself for walking around on campus when he knew there was a chance they would be watching for him.

  “You didn’t think I’d let you get away with breaking my nose, did you? I’m surprised you’d even show your face around here again. I thought you had smartened up when you quit the swim team. Looks like you still need to learn your lesson.”

  Peet lunged towards him and grabbed him by his shirt. Darryn tried to pull away, and said, “Peet, just let me go. We’re in the middle of campus. I’m done with this place. You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

  “Oh, but you’ll have to worry about me, pretty boy.” Peet shoved him to the ground, and Darryn scraped his elbow against the concrete. He saw blood when he managed to sit up and look at it.

  “Just let me get out of here, guys. Don’t do this.”

  Rage was written all over Peet’s face. He looked ready to do something extreme. “This is going to be fun,” he said, an unhinged look in his eyes. “Guys, let me do this alone. I want to savor it.”

  Peet punched Darryn hard in his face, the whack echoing in Darryn’s ear. He fell to the ground, feeling frightened for the first time and realizing that there was no escape. He was fully at the mercy of someone who had hated him for months.

  “Where’s your smart mouth now, pretty boy? You’re being awfully quiet.” Peet kicked Darryn’s legs with the side of his foot. Darryn stammered backwards, and tried to get up. “Not so tough when you’re not the star of the swim team, are you? You’re just a pathetic poor kid from Wellesley Park. You don’t belong here. It’s embarrassing that you think you’re better than us. You’re lucky we didn’t do this to you earlier.” As Darryn got to his feet, Peet punched him again, hard in his face, and Darryn fell to the floor for a second time. He felt a warm, dull pain where Peet had hit him. He knew it would bruise.

  He reasoned that it would be best to just stay as neutral as possible, not fight back until they were bored. If he ran, they would be angrier. He turned to look up at Peet again, and he saw him raise his fist into the sky, poised for another punch. Darryn closed his eyes.

  Suddenly, he heard a loud whack, but he felt nothing. He had not been hit. Darryn opened his eyes and saw Peet being punched with full force by someone else. It was JP, his face red and his eyes again losing all of the warmth that Darryn had seen in them before, becoming those same cold, angry eyes he had once known. JP was violently shoving Peet and punching him, while the two goons tried to pull him off. “What are you doing?” Peet asked, looking dumbfounded. “What’s going on, JP?”

  JP responded angrily: “I told you to leave him alone! Why are you still here? I’ve told Coach what you guys had planned here. He’s on his way. I’d get out of here right now if I were you. Unless you want to see what Coach has to say about this?”

  Peet got up, his face bruised from JP’s fists, and stammered backwards. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but you’re making a mistake.”

  JP was emboldened: “No, Peet. You don’t get to threaten anyone any more. Once we talk to Coach, I’ll make sure you’re never seen on this campus again. You’ve had warning
s against you before, and once Coach finds out everything you’ve put Darryn through, you’re toast. Now get out of here!”

  Peet’s friends tried to help him up by his arms, but he pushed them away and got to his feet. He gave Darryn and JP a sickening smile. “Fine, JP. Stay here with your boyfriend. You’re just as pathetic as he is.”

  The three of them walked away, still maintaining their cocky swagger, and JP rushed to Darryn’s side to help him up. “Are you okay? Look at your face! Does it hurt a lot? Should I get you to a hospital?”

  “I’m fine,” Darryn said. “Nothing’s broken. My shirt is just torn and I’m a bit bloody, but I’ll be okay.”

  “Come on, I’ll take you to my new flat. It’s not too far from here. You can borrow one of my shirts.”

  Darryn wanted to protest, but he was in a lot of pain and he knew that if he came home bloody and with a torn shirt, his father would freak out. He allowed JP to put his arm around him and lift him, and they walked together across campus.

  ***

  Darryn sat on a chair at the small breakfast table in JP’s new flat. It was much smaller than the flat he had lived in before; it was a studio apartment and JP’s bed was in the corner right next to the small breakfast nook where they sat. Darryn had removed his torn shirt, exposing a few bruises he wasn’t aware of on his torso. JP sat across from Darryn, wiping blood off of the scrape on his arm with some gauze and disinfectant. Darryn held an ice pack to his cheek with his other hand, wincing in pain as JP worked to wipe away the blood.

  “Sorry. Am I hurting you?” JP asked, looking up at Darryn with his blue eyes. They had transformed back into the gentle, kind eyes Darryn had come to know.

  “I’m okay. It’s not that bad.” Darryn watched JP, who was focusing deeply on Darryn’s scraped arm. “How did you know they would come after me tonight?” Darryn asked.

  “They messaged me just before. They thought I’d be interested to see them take their revenge on you. I finally managed to get it out of them that you were the one who gave Peet that broken nose,” JP said, smiling up at Darryn. “I didn’t even have time to think when they messaged me. I just ran out of the flat. I only realized afterwards that it would have been better to call you and warn you. But I just wanted to get there as quickly as possible.”

  “Thanks for helping me. I don’t know what they would’ve done to me if you hadn’t shown up.”

  “Don’t worry, they won’t bother you again. I’ll be sending an email to Peet’s dad. Our parents are friends. I’ll let him know that Peet’s bullying could give their family a bad name. I suspect he’ll be giving you an apology soon.” JP beamed a quick smile at Darryn, and got back to work on his arm.

  “I thought you said you called Coach. Why didn’t we wait for him?”

  JP shrugged. “I had to think on my feet to try and get us out of there. There wasn’t any time to call Coach. Peet and the others can be like animals when they get into a fight. I thought it would be better to just lie and escape. I know I might seem all brave and valiant to you, but I still value my good looks too much to get into a fight with three guys.”

  Darryn chuckled at JP’s silliness. “When did you move into the new place?” Darryn asked, looking around again at the small space. It was a far cry from the two bedroom luxury apartment JP had lived in before.

  “Just two days ago, actually. My dad is helping me pay for it, but I’m starting a new job too. A waiter. I’m a bit nervous about it, actually. It’s my first real paying job in my life.” The look of vulnerability showed in JP’s eyes.

  Darryn tried to reassure him: “You’ll be great. Don’t worry. You’re a charmer. I’m sure you’ll get some decent tips.”

  “Why, thank you,” JP said, and bowed his head theatrically. Darryn laughed again. “I’m guessing Coach told you that I gave up my spot in the finals.”

  Darryn’s expression became stern again. “I spoke to Mario too. You should know me well enough by now to know that I could never let you do that. And why did you fill in the forms for that bursary? You know what I said before, JP. I don’t need your help.” Darryn was much less annoyed with JP than he had been when Mario told him about all of the things that JP had done for him, but he still could not accept his help.

  “I know. I expected a strong reaction. But you should know me well enough to know that I won’t take no for an answer. I was the one who put you in this mess. I was just trying to do something to make it right. I just wanted you to see that I’m not that same guy anymore. I would never do anything like that again. Especially not to you, Darryn.”

  “I know that. And I believe you when you tell me that you’re sorry, but that doesn’t take away everything that’s happened. And it doesn’t mean that I can let you do all of this for me. I need to earn things for myself. That’s just how I work. I would never be able to live with myself if I felt like someone was trying to save me.”

  JP wrapped a plaster around the scrape on Darryn’s elbow and looked up at him with a frown. “That’s just the thing, Darryn. You did earn this, all of it. You work so hard to be the best swimmer, to help your father and your brother, and to get the best grades. Mario told me everything you’ve been through. And I go and ruin that. Don’t you see that I’m only trying to fix what I broke? You earned all of it yourself, and you deserve the chance to get it all back. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

  Darryn sat in silence. JP looked up at him, his intentions so pure and his expression so sincere. Darryn suddenly remembered the kiss they had shared and how good it had felt to be that close to JP. He said, “I’d better go. It’s getting late.” But when he tried to stand, he felt his legs give in from pain and winced.

  “Woah, you’re not going anywhere right now. Lie down on the bed for a bit and get your strength back. I’ll get you something to drink and some pain pills. Coffee, or something stronger?”

  “Pain pills and alcohol? Good thing you’re not studying to be a doctor,” Darryn laughed.

  “Suffering is overrated. Fight it with everything you’ve got, I say,” JP replied, winking at Darryn. He helped Darryn onto his double bed and put extra pillows behind him so that he sat up against the wall. “Are you comfortable?” he asked.

  “Pretty good, thanks. I promise I won’t stay long. As soon as I’m feeling a bit better I’ll get to the bus stop.”

  “Nonsense! I’ll drive you home when you’re feeling a bit stronger, okay? Just relax for now.”

  Darryn wanted to protest again, but he felt too weak to argue with JP. He stretched his neck and rubbed his eyes, which he was barely able to keep open. All of the exhaustion of the past week was catching up to him.

  JP walked towards the small kitchen area. “I’m gonna pour myself a whiskey. This has been a lot of excitement for one afternoon.” He took out a glass and poured a generous serving of whiskey, and took a big gulp of it. He winced and gave Darryn a smile again. “Are you sure I can’t get you something?”

  “I don’t really drink,” was Darryn’s response. “I don’t like feeling out of control.”

  “Figures,” JP smiled, and walked over to Darryn. “So, I know we probably shouldn’t talk about this, but it would be weird if I don’t mention it,” JP started. “I’m sorry about… that thing I did. I could tell that you weren’t into it, and that I had freaked you out.” JP seemed very uncertain as he spoke, barely able to maintain eye contact with Darryn.

  Darryn was unsure of how to respond to JP. He knew that he had enjoyed the kiss, and that it had sent sparks flying throughout his body. He finally managed to ask, “Why did you do it?”

  JP turned to look at him directly, and even though Darryn could clearly see that he was uncomfortable, he spoke with conviction: “It felt… right. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I’ve really started to care about you deeply. And it’s more than just friendship, I think. I wanted to do it. It wasn’t even a decision. I just felt so close to you in that moment.”

  Darryn felt overwhelmed. H
e had no idea how to respond to JP. He had been thinking about him constantly as well, but he had never thought about being with a guy before. He didn’t know what JP expected from him. “I… I’m sorry, JP. I can’t really deal with this right now. I need to focus on fixing things in my life. I don’t need any more complications.”

  JP’s face fell and he turned away. “I get it. Don’t even worry about it. I won’t bring it up again. Why don’t you get some shut eye? I’ll get back to studying for the Stats test. We still have that big hurdle to overcome on Monday.”

  Darryn tried to lift himself from the bed, but he was still in pain and exhausted. “Maybe I’ll just stay for a short while.” He pulled the pillows out from behind his back and repositioned himself to lie down. He felt strange being in JP’s bed, but it was very comfortable, and soon he was drifting off to sleep.

  ***

  Darryn awoke unsure of where he was. It was dark, and he was in a strange, uncomfortable bed. Suddenly he realized that he was still in JP’s flat. He was facing the wall and turned around to see that there was another body in bed next to him. It was JP, sleeping peacefully, smelling slightly of alcohol. Darryn remembered the conversation they had had before he fell asleep. He knew that he had strong feelings for JP, and he wished that they could be together, but too much had happened between them. It felt impossible.

  Something compelled him in that moment to be closer to JP. He felt the warm body next to him, so close in the double bed. He moved right up next to JP and put his hand on his arm, enjoying the feeling of his muscular body and soft skin. He put his arm around JP and moved his face into his back, enjoying the smell of him. He wished that he could feel this close to JP all the time. But it felt like he would only be fooling himself. There was no way that they could have a real chance. JP was from a different world. They had spent most of the time that they had known each other being antagonistic and having misunderstandings. It felt dumb to wish for something that would only complicate his life more.