Home Sweet Mess

by Allison Ashley

  Commitment came with a certain degree of sacrifice, it was true. The concept didn’t scare him, but then again, he’d lived most of his life on the other end of the spectrum with little to no commitment to anything or anyone. She’d had a completely different experience.

  But that was his point, wasn’t it? It could be different with him.

  “What are these dreams that would be impossible to achieve if you were with me?”

  She was quiet for a long moment. “It’s not being with you. It’s being with anyone. Dreams evolve over time. I’m pretty happy with where I’m at right now, but that could change in an instant. The same’s true for you. Surely you have things you want out of life, right? Things you’ve always wished and hoped for and others that hit you out of nowhere, shocking the hell out of you because you hadn’t even known it was something you wanted?”

  “Yeah. That last one especially. Her name’s Jeni.”

  Her eyes went soft, and she brushed his arm with her fingers. “You’re really sweet, Logan. But I doubt my ability to make you happy—like, the real, bone-deep happiness you deserve.” She took her hand away and pressed it against her heart. “I’m messy in here. Everywhere, actually. I know it sounds like my decisions about dating are all about me. But the more I get to know you and realize how much I like you, the more confident I am it’s not just about me. There would come a day you’d want to move on, and I’m trying to protect both of us from something I know won’t last.”

  “You can’t know that.”

  “I do though.”

  They pulled into the sports complex, and Logan parked at the end of the row. He turned off the ignition and leaned his head back on the headrest, looking at her beautiful, stubborn face. He wanted to touch her. Shake her and kiss her and hold her, all at the same time.

  Instead, he simply said, “Thank you for telling me what happened.”

  She pinched her lips together and narrowed her eyes. “That’s it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You’re not going to try to convince me I’m being unreasonable?”

  “You went through a lot, and it’s not unreasonable to be hesitant. But to refuse to consider another relationship? Ever? That’s probably unreasonable. And I’m definitely going to try and change your mind. Just not today.”

  Jeni snorted. “You’ve got your work cut out for you.”

  He grinned. “Go big or go home. That’s what I always say.”

  She reached back to tighten her ponytail and grabbed her bag. “We’re going big tonight.”

  “I can’t wait to see what you’ve got.”

  Jeni quirked a grin and opened her door. “That’s what she said.”

  They met at the front of his truck, and he shook his head. “Why do you have the perverted mind of a fifteen-year-old boy?”

  “I don’t. I have the mind of Michael Scott.”

  “Fan of The Office, eh?”

  “Love it.”

  “It’s too awkward for me,” Logan admitted. “I can’t handle it.”

  She laughed. “If you don’t like awkward, you definitely can’t handle that show.”

  They approached the complex, and Logan led them to the assigned field. His teammates’ curious eyes settled on Jeni. He didn’t mind those, but the full body sweep from a few of the guys made his muscles tense up.

  He introduced her as a friend, and a few minutes later, the game began.

  * * *

  If Logan thought he knew how sexy Jeni was before, he’d been sorely mistaken. Jeni on the softball field was mesmerizing. The intensity in her face while on the pitcher’s mound, the confident smile when she struck someone out, and the frustration when a pinch runner needed to be sent in when she hit first base. Her car accident had mostly affected the lower half of her body, and she’d admitted she was too slow for a competitive game like this.

  It was the final inning of the game, and Logan had just made a run for home, giving them an additional point that put them on top. He jogged to the dugout, breathing hard, and slapped his hand against Jeni’s as she passed him on her way to bat.

  “Nice job,” Curt said from his spot on the bench. The guy was good at softball, but Logan had never cared much for his personality. “Nice addition to the team you brought today. Where’ve you kept her hidden away? She’s damn good. We could’ve used her early on in the season.”

  “She just moved here a few months ago.”

  “You fucking her?”

  Logan choked on his sport’s drink. “The hell? We’re not friends, Curt. Don’t ever ask me a question like that again.”

  He ignored Logan’s response and tipped his head in Jeni’s direction. “Mind if I do?”

  Logan’s fingers curled into a tight fist, and his jaw went taut. He forced himself to take a breath so he didn’t lay Curt out on the dirt. He’d love nothing more than to smash his fist in the guy’s pretty face, but they were in the middle of a game and they were on the same team. And Logan didn’t have a claim on Jeni, nor did he think she needed him to protect her.

  In fact, he was confident Jeni would set Curt down quite nicely. “I’d like to see you try.”

  Curt threw his head back and laughed. “She shoot you down?”

  Logan kept his mouth shut and stripped off his batting gloves, tossing them on the bench. He turned his back on Curt and watched Jeni step up to the plate. He kept his eyes on her hands so he wouldn’t look at her ass while she waited for the pitch. She gave a perfect swing and hit a line drive straight past the second baseman, giving her enough time to jog to first base.

  “Nice!” Logan called.

  The answering smile she shot in his direction went straight to his heart. He grinned back at her, gripping the chain links between his fingers.

  He was in trouble. Big trouble.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Jeni had almost forgotten how great this felt.

  Pushing her body.

  Being part of a team.

  Having fun and winning.

  She stripped the helmet from her head and walked toward the dugout, prepared to wrap Logan in a bear hug for bringing her here tonight. And it wasn’t just an excuse to touch him, though she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t looking for one.

  But the second she passed the gate, a dark-haired man stepped into her line of view.

  “Great job out there,” he said with a cocky smirk.

  What was his name? She couldn’t remember. She’d felt his eyes on her all night though and not in a respectable way. “Thanks.”

  She stepped to the side to get around him, but he moved with her.

  “Want to grab a drink after the game?”

  Jeni sighed. “What was your name again?” She thought she heard a chuckle come from Logan’s direction, but the ballpark was loud and she couldn’t be sure.

  The guy’s grin tightened a little. “Curt.”

  “Right, Curt. I appreciate the offer, but I’ll pass.”

  “You sure?” He angled his head a little and winked at her. “I think we’d have a good time.”

  Jeni looked at him hard in the eye. “I’m sure.”

  Curt shrugged. “Suit yourself. I’ll be here if you change your mind.”

  She wouldn’t. Edging past him, she couldn’t stop the smile from spreading on her face when she saw Logan. “Hey.”

  He tilted his head up in greeting, matching her smile. “That was disappointing.”

  She stiffened. “The hit?”

  Logan huffed out a breath. “No. That was awesome. I meant you rejecting Curt. I thought you’d put a little more spark into it.”

  So he had been listening. “Did you know he was going to ask me out?”

  “Not before three minutes ago. But I’m not surprised. Every single guy on the team wants to. The women and married guys too, probably.”

  She rolled her eyes and hoped the warming of her cheeks wasn’t noticeable.

  “Whatever.” She almost argued that the two other w
omen on the team definitely weren’t watching her but didn’t want to bring his attention to them. Both had flirted with Logan as soon as he and Jeni arrived, and even though she had no reason for it, their attention on him irritated her.

  She felt his gaze on her as she leaned against the chain-link fence.

  “This suits you,” he said.

  Jeni looked at him, her ponytail swinging over her shoulder. “What do you mean?”

  “Being here. Playing. All of it. I can see how much you love it.”

  She really did. “After the accident, I didn’t know if I’d walk again, let alone play softball. And then when I was married, I didn’t have the option, even if I could have, physically.” She swallowed. “I played a little while I was getting my Master’s, and it was the first time I realized I was really free. To do things I enjoyed and on my own terms. To be happy again.”

  His blue eyes held steady. “Happy Jeni is beautiful,” he said quietly.

  She quirked a brow at him, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach.

  “Grouchy Jeni is too.” He leaned in close. “Flirtatious Jeni, worried-about-her-brother Jeni, and tipsy Jeni. All beautiful. But so far, happy is my favorite.”

  Her smile couldn’t be stopped. “Mine too.”

  A few minutes later, the third player on their team struck out, ending the game. They won by two runs, and Jeni took pride in the fact that she helped make it happen.

  “You in for Saturday?” Logan asked as they walked back to his truck.

  “Definitely.”

  His phone rang as soon as he started the ignition. “Hey, Mom. What? No, I had a game tonight, remember? I thought we moved it to tomorrow.”

  Jeni glanced over at him.

  He rubbed a hand down his face. “I’m sorry. We just finished, and I’d come over but I have someone with m—”

  Jeni put a hand on his arm. “What is it?” she mouthed.

  “Mom, hang on a sec.” He pulled the phone down and covered the speaker with his other hand. “I was supposed to eat dinner with my mom tonight. I asked her last week if we could move it back a day because of the rescheduled game. I guess she forgot. She made dinner and was wondering where I was.”

  Jeni thought for a moment. There was an obvious choice here, and she surprised herself a little by saying, “She went through all that trouble. Let’s go, if she wouldn’t mind you bringing me.”

  He raised his brows. “Really?”

  She shrugged. “Sure. I’m starving.”

  He frowned a little and slowly put the phone back to his ear, his eyes on Jeni. “Mom? Is there enough for three?”

  * * *

  Ingrid Davis was a delight. Jeni didn’t think she’d ever hit it off with another person so quickly.

  “Are insta-friendships a thing?” she asked when Logan’s mom stepped away to refill Jeni’s water glass.

  “Apparently,” he replied, his eyes happy and bright.

  They’d finished dinner, and Ingrid had a Marie Callendar’s apple pie in the oven. Jeni was impatiently waiting for the ding of the timer. Because she loved apple pie, not because she wasn’t having a blast.

  The three of them had sparred about NFL football. Talked about Ingrid’s job as a teacher. Discussed Jeni’s decision to be vegetarian, especially after an awkward exchange where she declined the main dish which contained ground beef, hence her eagerness for dessert. Ingrid even discussed her breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, which was tremendously helpful. Hearing what it was like from the patient’s perspective would hopefully help Jeni relate to Andrew better in the months to come.

  Ingrid returned with Jeni’s glass, and Jeni realized how little she and Logan looked alike. Ingrid was tiny—barely over five feet, she would guess—with jet black hair and brown eyes. A stark contrast to Logan’s six-foot frame, blond hair and blue eyes. She made a mental note to look around for family photos and get a glimpse of what his dad had looked like.

  “Thank you,” Jeni said.

  “You’re welcome.” Ingrid sat down across from Jeni and Logan. “I don’t think I’ve asked—what do you do for a living, Jeni?”

  “I’m a social worker. I specialize in child welfare and work at CPS, mainly with the foster care system.”

  Ingrid’s mouth dropped open. “Really?” She swung her gaze to Logan. “What a small world.”

  Confused, Jeni looked from Ingrid to Logan and back again. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

  “Surely Logan’s told yo—”

  “I haven’t, Mom,” Logan interrupted quietly.

  “Oh.” Ingrid sat back against her chair. “Not even about Fostering Sweet Dreams?”

  Jeni perked up at the mention of the nonprofit her boss worked so closely with and did such wonderful things for the foster care community. “What about FSD?”

  “Well, that’s Logan’s organization, dear.”

  It was a good thing Jeni wasn’t holding her glass, because it would have slipped from her hand and shattered all over the floor. “It’s what?”

  Logan’s blue eyes regarded her, unwavering, his expression unreadable. “I founded FSD three years ago.”

  Jeni’s mind went blank for a moment, like her brain stopped functioning. She thought she had Logan pegged but suddenly felt like she knew nothing about this man next to her.

  “I, um…I had no idea. That’s incredible,” she said slowly.

  “Logan’s always had a heart for foster children,” his mother said, oblivious to Jeni’s near-paralysis or the way Jeni and Logan were staring at each other like they were having a blinking contest. “He gives away nearly all of his Chiefs season tickets to foster families and has given over two hundred children a place to sleep through his foundation.”

  Jeni’s heartbeat quickened, and a lump formed in her throat. Warmth bloomed deep inside her, slowly seeping through every cell in her body. “I don’t understand.” Was that her voice that sounded all breathy and weird? “Why…how did you get into that?”

  “It’s kind of a long story,” Logan said. “We can talk about it some other time.”

  Jeni didn’t push, and Ingrid went on to reveal that she and her husband had been foster parents early on in their marriage. That was probably what sparked Logan’s interest.

  Logan suddenly pushed his chair back, the legs scraping against the tile. “I’ll be right back.”

  Jeni watched him leave the room. Ingrid kept talking, and somehow Jeni made appropriate responses despite her whirling thoughts.

  After a few minutes the oven timer dinged, and Ingrid went to the kitchen, leaving Jeni alone at the table.

  She rubbed her eyes then jumped up and left the room.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Logan stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He didn’t know what just happened in there, but something passed between him and Jeni. His mother and her big mouth.

  Eh, whatever. He would have told Jeni himself at some point.

  All he knew was after tonight, he didn’t know how to stay away from her. After watching her kick ass on the softball field, happily eat his mother’s canned peas and crescent rolls from a cardboard tube while gushing over how delicious it was, and feeling whatever electric current transferred between their bodies just now—he was screwed.

  Royally.

  He turned the cold water on and splashed his face. Swiping the towel hanging on the wall, he dried his skin and put both hands on the counter.

  The bathroom door opened, and Jeni burst in, closing the door behind her.

  Logan straightened.

  “Jeni? What are you—” His question was cut off as her hands gripped his shirt and she spun him around, his back hitting the door with a thud. His hands reached out for purchase, one landing on her upper arm while the other gripped her waist.

  “Why do you have to be so wonderful?” she said, her tone accusatory.

  “I’m not.” He flexed his fingers against her. It felt so good to touch her like this.

 
Her eyes were on his for a second before they dropped to his lips, and she kissed him. Hard, open-mouthed, and hot. The temperature in the tiny room shot up by ten degrees instantly, and Logan groaned as her tongue entered his mouth.

  Desire filled him, and he spread his hands across her back, pulling her flush with his body. The door handle dug into his lower back, but he didn’t care. Her scent in his nostrils, her tongue in his mouth, her hands in his hair—all those things were worth it. One of her hands moved to wrap around the back of his neck, and she put pressure there.

  “Jeni,” he laughed into her mouth. “I can’t get any closer.”

  She lifted her eyes to his, and they were like gold fire. “Try.”

  Logan took a sharp intake of air, and it still wasn’t enough. Heat engulfed him, and he couldn’t breathe.

  He leaned over her and gripped her upper thighs in his palms, lifted her as he pivoted, and gently lowered her onto the counter. He slid one hand to the back of her ass, and the other moved up to slide through her hair and cup the back of her head. He held her head in place as he leaned over her, tugging her lower body toward his, pressing into her.

  “Oh,” she whispered, her voice throaty and filled with wanting. He’d never heard anything so sexy in his entire life. Her legs came around his waist, wrapping around him like a vise. Her muscular thighs squeezed hard, and he loved it. He pulled her lower lip between his teeth, gently nipping at her. Each little noise she made was an aphrodisiac, lighting his ardor and spurring him on even more.

  He didn’t know how to stop.

  He didn’t want to stop.

  Hell, he had to stop.

  He tore his lips from hers, and she fisted her hand in his shirt, bringing him right back. He went willingly for several glorious minutes. At one point, she leaned her head back against the mirror, maybe to take a breather, and he followed her, helpless not to. She didn’t seem to mind, and her arms wound around his neck.