Him

by Carey Heywood

  "Who is it?" Christine asks, looking at my surprised expression.

  "Brian," I blurt, and her mouth drops.

  "Is everything okay?" she asks.

  "I didn’t ask," I admit.

  I stand next to her as she cracks the door, careful to stay behind it. "Brian? What are you doing?"

  "I just wanted to see you." He's just on the other side of the door.

  "That's bad luck." She moves further behind the door.

  "I mean talk to you," he corrects. "Can I hold your hand?"

  She smiles and slips her hand through the opening.

  "Chris, I just couldn’t wait to tell you how much I love you and how you are making me the happiest man on earth by marrying me today. I just want you to know that every day for the rest of our lives, I'm going to do everything I can to make you as happy." He lifts her arm and kisses her hand.

  Christine looks like she's going to cry. "You already make me so happy. I love you so much, Brian."

  He kisses her hand again and tells her he'll be the guy at the alter before leaving. I can hear my mother fuss at him as he walks away. I open the door to help my mom as Christine's bridesmaids gush over how romantic my brother is. I have to hand it to him. That was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever witnessed. It takes Christine a moment to come back to earth. She has a dreamy look on her face as I hand her the bouquet. Her father comes to get us not long after to let us know everyone is seated. The son and daughter of Justine and Curtis serve as flower girl and ring bearer. Caitlin is only two so Braden, her big brother, pulls her in a small decorated wagon as she throws pale blue petals.

  At the end of the aisle, Caitlin is collected by Justine's parents. Braden gets to go stand with his father. I'm the third bridesmaid to walk out, just before Justine. As I slowly make my way down the aisle, my eyes are drawn to Will. My step falters as I get a good look at him. Will looked incredible in his charcoal suit the night before, but now, in his tux, he looks devastating. When his eyes lock onto to mine, I feel my breath catch. The tuxes for the groomsmen are classically styled. His is well fit across his broad shoulders and narrows towards his waist to show off his build. Even though I'm far away, I know the blue iris at his lapel matches his eyes. I wonder if I have a similar effect on him when I see him chew on the corner of his bottom lip. I make it to the front of the church and slip into my place in line. I watch as Justine makes her way down the aisle and laughs when Braden leaves his dad to go stand next to her.

  When Christine and her father approach us, I look at Brian and feel a tug in my heart as I watch his face break into a beautiful smile just for her. The service is not long, with one reading of Love is patient and a blessing from the pastor before Brian and Christine say their vows. When it is time to kiss the bride, Brian dips her dramatically while we all cheer. I'm so happy until it hits me how much I wish I was on Will's arm instead of the groomsman next to him. Justine holds Braden's hand and links her other arm through Will's before they follow the bride and groom. Curtis, Justine's husband, and I walk out together. Once we're outside of the church, Will approaches me, holding out his arm. In a daze, I link mine through it, and he rests his other hand on my elbow. My vision blurs when he starts to run his fingers back and forth across my skin.

  "You look beautiful, Sarah," he whispers.

  "Thank you. You look," I gulp. Hot, sexy, droolworthy, "nice too."

  I realize what I'm doing and try to pull my arm away, but he doesn’t let go. I tug at it again and shoot him a look. He shakes his head and ignores me. I'm saved by Cindy, who collects me for some bridesmaid group photos. We go back inside the church and take multiple group shots. I do my best to avoid Will until we are paired up during a full bridal party group shot. It is hard to concentrate, and I hate myself for how my heart starts pounding when he stands behind me with his hands on my waist. When the photographer asks us to move outside, I feel Will's fingers grip me tighter. I look back at him and glare. He loosens his grip and follows me to the steps of the church, where we take more group photos. Afterward, I look around for my parents. They’re my ride to the reception.

  I look up at Will. "I'm supposed to ride with my parents."

  "I already talked to them. You’re riding with me."

  "What?"

  He shrugs. "I need to talk, and you need to listen. Pretty sure you won't jump out of a moving car."

  "My clutch?"

  He smiles, turns us around, and walks me to the room we were in before the wedding. I don’t see the point, but he still holds onto my arm. I grab my clutch, and he leads me out to his car, opening and shutting my door for me. I buckle my belt and fold my hands in my lap as he walks around the car. He slowly backs out and pulls onto the road before he says anything.

  "Sarah, what did Jessica have to do with you leaving?"

  "I thought you were going to talk, and I was supposed to listen," I huff, looking out my window.

  "Please answer me."

  "What, you're so surprised I found out?" I hiss.

  "Alright, let me just say this one time. I have no idea what you are talking about."

  I spin my ring. "So are you trying to say Jessica didn’t go with you to Italy?"

  "She did, but—"

  He pulls into the country club, which is thankfully on the same street as the church.

  "Don't, just don’t." I breathe, looking out my window.

  The second he's parked, I’m out the door and speed racing toward the entrance. He's right behind me, so I dash into the ladies’ room, hopeful he won't follow me. I call Sawyer.

  "Aren't you supposed be at the wedding?" she asks.

  "Wedding is over. I am now hiding from Will in a bathroom at the reception."

  "Sarah!"

  "I hope you know I am not proud of myself."

  "Alright. Time to put on your big girl panties and go talk to that boy. Seriously, Sarah, you are hiding in a bathroom."

  She's right. I know she is. I still wait another fifteen minutes before peeking out the door to see if he's there. He isn't, so I make my way into the ballroom.

  Chapter 16

  Past

  "You are so beautiful," Will whispers in my ear as he slips my corsage onto my wrist.

  I love the dress Brian helped me pick out. It has a beaded halter-style neckline and falls elegantly to my ankles. I see Will's eyes widen when he notices the hidden slit up the side. My hands shake as I pin his boutonniere to his lapel. My mom takes a million pictures of us before she lets us leave, then takes even more pictures of us getting into Will's car. Will pulls me into his lap once the door is shut behind us. I freak out, thinking my parents can see us, until he reminds me of the tinted windows. Prom is being held in the ballroom of the community center. By the time we get there, Will has kissed off all of my lipstick, and I have to reapply. After we walk in, we have our pictures taken again under an arch made out of balloons. A bunch of kids from our class are going to an after party at Bravo's house. We are not.

  Will got us a room at a hotel. He picked one out of the way so it would feel more private. We're both ready to leave but are only staying for the prom court announcement. Will doesn’t care, but I think he's going to be named prom king, and I don’t want him to regret missing that. I wait off to the side when the prom court is called up onto the stage. I meet Will's eyes and grin when he blows me a kiss. My smile falls a bit when I notice Jessica glaring at me. I'm grateful when they dim the lights to announce prom queen, until they call her name. I'm not surprised. She’s gorgeous, her blonde hair tumbling over her bare shoulders and the top of her strapless red gown.

  When they call Will's name for prom king, I can't help but smile at his goofy expression. He looks around the room until his eyes rest on me. He laughs when I give him a wolf whistle. I'm less thrilled when I remember the prom king and queen dance together. I have to look away when Jessica wraps her arms around his neck. When I turn, I see Kyle, her date, watching them dance. He looks just as uncomfortable as I f
eel. I glance back at Will and Jessica, my mouth dropping. I watch Will jerk his head to the side as she tries to run her fingers through his hair. I look back at Kyle to see him shake his head and walk away. I jump when I feel an arm around my waist and look back to see Will.

  "What are you doing?" I whisper, feeling everyone watching us.

  He pulls me out onto the dance floor where Jessica still stands, her mouth open. "I'd rather dance with you."

  I can't argue with that, but as much as I dislike Jessica, I do feel bad for her as she hurries off the dance floor in search of Kyle. The dance floor fills around us as Will brushes his lips across mine. The crown is a bit big and has a decidedly lopsided perch on his head. It matches his lopsided grin. We leave after that dance. Will laughs when I make him walk out first. I feel like if we walk out together, everyone will assume we're going to go have sex. We are. I just don’t want anyone to know. He is pulled around front, waiting for me. He's leaned up against the side of his car. I'm suddenly shy as I walk over to him.

  He cups my face and kisses me. "We don’t have to do anything. I'd be happy to just fall asleep with you in my arms."

  "I know."

  He opens my door for me, and once I'm seated, closes it and jogs around to the driver's side.

  "I mean it. We can just kiss and stuff if you want."

  "Will, I'm nervous but I want to, so let's go."

  He doesn’t argue with me and drives to the hotel. We're both eighteen so getting the room isn’t an issue. Will came earlier to book it and already has the keycard. I wonder if people are watching us as we walk across the lobby to the elevators. Will has a duffle bag slung over one shoulder and my hand in his. I put my other hand on top of them, and Will looks down at me.

  "Are you sure about this?"

  I blush and bump my hip into his. "Stop asking. I'm sure."

  He bends down to kiss me, his lips not leaving mine until we reach our floor. When he opens the door, I cover my mouth with my hands. There are rose petals covering the bed. Will pulls a lighter out of his pocket and walks around the room lighting candles before plugging his iPod into a speaker.

  "I made a playlist I thought you might like," he says, pressing play.

  The first song that comes on is “You're Beautiful.” He stands over on the other side of the bed, pulling off his suit jacket. I'm still standing by the door but start to move towards him. He meets me halfway and runs his hands up and down my arms.

  "Do you like it?"

  "I love it. Thank you."

  "I want it to be perfect for you."

  "As long as I'm with you, it will be."

  He pulls me closer, kissing my forehead. "I love you so much."

  "I know. I love you too, so, so much."

  I turn in his arms and pull my hair to one side. "Can you unzip me?"

  His breath catches, and his hands tremble as he slowly lowers the zipper of my dress. I shiver when he drags his fingertips up my arms, pausing to kiss my shoulder. He takes a step back as I lift the halter strap over my head. I turn back to face him, holding my dress to my chest. When his eyes snap to mine, I let my dress fall to the floor. I didn’t wear a bra because of the neckline of my dress, so I lift my arms to cover my chest. He closes the space between us, pulling me into his arms. I reach up to untie his bow tie and giggle when I see it’s a snap on. He moves his hands from my back to help me unbutton his dress shirt. He’s pulling it down his arms and tugging his undershirt off as my hands move to the button of his slacks. We're both undressed and on the bed before the next song comes on.

  We lay there, facing each other. We've never been all the way naked, both of us, either of us, together before. This is the first time I'm actually seeing him. Will catches my eye and smirks. He knows I'm checking him out.

  "Can I touch you?"

  "Huh?" He hesitates. "Sure."

  He turns onto his back and puts his hands behind his head. He watches me nervously. I reach out to touch him, a nervous stroke up the length of him. Snapping my eyes to his, "Is that okay?"

  His jaw is tense. He’s chewing on the corner of his mouth. He doesn't say anything, just nods. I reach out again, this time to grasp him. He groans, his hips twitching. I release him and pull my hand back, apologizing.

  "It's okay. That felt really good."

  I giggle. "God, I thought I hurt you."

  I gently explore him with my fingertips until Will admits he might lose it if I keep touching him. He pulls me up to kiss me, turning back onto his side, pressing against me.

  "I'm nervous I won't be good at it," I say, avoiding his eyes, spinning my ring.

  He cups my face in his hands, lifting it until my eyes meet his. "Impossible."

  "Will it be messy?"

  He laughs, dropping his hands, and then tries to keep a straight face. "Why would it be messy?"

  I cover my face. "Because I've never done it."

  He's so quiet I move my hands to look at him. He's grinning at me.

  "What?" I laugh.

  "You're cute."

  He licks his lips before crushing his mouth to mine. We blur into a mesh of arms and legs. I feel full of him and also surrounded by him. It's like inside and out there isn’t a spot of me that isn’t marked by him. I'm mesmerized by his face, a face I thought I knew every expression of. I learn a new one today as I watch him fall apart. Afterward, Will still above me, I laugh out loud when I realize I'm no longer a virgin.

  Will stills. "Something funny?"

  "You just deflowered me." I try to keep a straight face and fail.

  He just grins down at me and replies. "Did it hurt?"

  "A little at first, but then it felt better." I run my hands up and down his back. "Was I okay? For you?"

  "Okay? Sarah, you crazy beautiful girl. I love you so much. That was the second best moment of my life. The first was when you told me you loved me."

  "So that's a good thing, right?" I tease.

  He shakes his head at me so I kiss him, pulling him down so that all of his weight is on me. He's sweaty. I'm sure I am too, but I love the way he feels, the way he smells. I don’t know why, but I start giggling. He lifts his head to look at me.

  I cover my mouth with my hand. "We just did it, Will."

  He laughs. "Why is that funny?"

  I can't stop. I'm shaking. "I just can't believe it."

  "I love you, even when you're a crazy person." He brushes his nose against mine.

  "I've loved you for so long," I confess, laughter gone.

  He reaches up to smooth some hair from my face. "How long?"

  "Seventh grade."

  "You did not." His eyes widen.

  "Alright, maybe it wasn't love love, but I had the biggest crush on you."

  "I never knew. I never thought—" He just shakes his head, then lowers it to kiss my neck right below my ear before saying, "I wish I had known."

  "Why?"

  "We could have gotten together sooner."

  Chapter 17

  Present

  I go find my seat and hesitate when I see Will's arm resting on the back of my chair.

  As though he senses me, he looks back at me. "Fall in?" When I ignore him, he goes on. "So I went over with Brian this morning to help pick up your wedding gift. Pretty big coincidence out of everything they registered for, we picked the same thing."

  He pulls my chair out for me, and I sit. Seeing a server, I order a drink. This is going to be a long night. I'm on my second drink by the time food is served. I have only taken one bite before the DJ announces the arrival of the new Mr. and Mrs. Miller. We all stand and applaud as they walk in hand and hand. They come and sit down to eat while Justine and Curtis go to the center of the ballroom to give their toasts. It’s cool to hear more about how Christine and Justine met.

  They met in elementary school, the first day of fourth grade. During roll call, they say that they were the only girls in the class whose names ended in 'ine'. Once they learned how close they lived to one another, t
hey formed a club and called themselves the Ine's and would not let anyone else join unless their name also ended in it. Justine had everyone laughing as she cringed and said they were only fourth graders and that was as creative as they got. Curtis lived next door to Christine growing up and hated them. He moved towards the mic to confirm that, yes, he did in fact hate them. Brian had only known Curtis as long as he had known Christine, but it was Curtis and Justine's approval that clinched the second date for Brian in the beginning. Curtis tells a very funny story during his toast of when he pulled Brian aside to explain the whole 'Ine' thing to him and make sure he knew Justine was not a best friend. She was a sister to Christine. It had been clear to both Justine and Curtis how much Brian cared for Christine, and they gave him their blessing before he even knew he was going to propose.

  After they finish their toasts, other people clink their glasses and make toasts. Christine's father makes an especially sweet one that brings tears to many eyes. He speaks of how Christine is not only his only child but still his little girl and he can rest because he knows Brian will spend the rest of his days doing everything in his power to make her happy. Since my father is not much of a talker, his toast is perfect for him. He raises his glass. "To the bride and groom. Your mother and I love you both very much. Welcome to the family, Christine."

  I tense when Will stands and gives his toast. "I work with Christine and have known Brian forever. He saw me having lunch with Christine one day and had to meet her. In our infinite wisdom, we came up with a plan to get them together. It was clear there was something there when Brian called me after their first date and could not stop talking about her. He told me he thought she was the one. I remember telling him to tell her that, to make sure she knew every day just how much he loved her and how she was the only one for him. Don’t make the mistake I did and let the one get away. He took my advice and almost scared her away by coming on too strong. Moral of the story, given my romantic history, is they were clearly meant for each other, considering I got involved and they're still together."