Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker

by Thomas Dekker

  That Botcher I preferd to be Lucifers Tailer, because he workes with a hot needle and burnt threed, and that seuen pence he gaue me for my good will, why should not I take bribes as well as others, I will clip that money, and melt it. Not for my Bill (sayes the Herald of the gods) for it went out of my purse, the Tayler may pay it backe againe, it is but stealing so much the more, or cutting out 5. quarters to a garment, nay, Mercurie, you shall filch for vs both, for all the gods know you are a notable Pick-pocket, as the knight of the Post here can take his oath, but what is your Summa totalis, (quoth Charon,) Summa totalis, answers the other commes to three shillings and a pennie. The Sculler told him, hee was now out of Cash, it was a hard time, he doubts there is some secrete Bridge made ouer to Hell, and that they steale thither in coaches, for euery Iustices wife, and the wife of euerie Citizen must be iolted now.

  But howsoeuer the market goes, beare with mee, (quoth Charon) till there come another plague, or til you heare of such another battell as was at Newport, or till the Dunkirks catch a Hoy of Hollenders, and tumble them ouer-boord, or till there be more ciuill warres in France, or if Parris garden would but fall downe againe, I should not onely wipe off this olde score, but hope to make me a new boat. Mercury seeing no remedy (tho he knew well inough he was not without mony) tooke his wings, & away went he to Olympus. The Posts iorny lay nothing nere that path, but inquiring whether one Peerce Pennilesse came not ouer in his Ferry: and vnderstanding, because hee could not pay his Fare, he was faine to goe a great way about to Elizium, thither in an Irish gallop is our swearing knight gone.

  Scarce was he out of kenne, but on the other side of the Riuer stoode a Companie crying out lustily, A Boat, hey, a Boat, hey, and who should they bee but a gallant troope of English spirits (all mangled) looking like so manie olde Romans, that for ouercomming death in their manly resolutions, were sent away out of the field, crowned with the military honour of Armes. The formost of them was a personage of so composed a presence, that Nature and Fortune had done him wrong, if they had not made him a souldier. In his countenance, there was a kinde of indignation, fighting with a kinde of exalted ioy, which by his very gesture were apparantly descipherable, for he was jo cond, that his soule went out of him in so glorious a triumph; but disdainfully angry, that she wrought her enlargement through no more daungers: yet were there bleeding witnesses inow on his breast, which testified, he did not yeelde till he was conquered, and was not conquered, till there was left nothing of a man in him to be ouercome. For besides those Mortui & Muti testes, which spake most for him, when he himselfe was past speaking, (though their mouths were stopped with scarres) he made shift to lay downe an ouer-plus of life, (when the debt was discharged at one mortall payment before) onely to shew in what abiect account he held deaths tyranny. Charon glowting vpon him, demanded who he was, but hee skorning to be his owne Chronicle, and not suffering any of the rest to execute the office, they all leaped into the Ferry. Amongst whom, one that sate out of his hearing, but within the reach of the Waterman (to shorten the way) discoursed all, thus:

  England (quoth he) gaue him breath, Kent education, he was neuer ouer-maistered, but by his owne affections: against whom, whensoeuer he got the victorie, there was a whole man in him: he was of the sword, and knew better how to end quarrells, then to beginne them; yet was more apt to begin, then others (better bearded) were to answer, with which (some that were euer bound to the peace) vpbraided him as a blemish. His Country barring him (for want of action) of that which he was borne to inherit, (fame) hee went in quest of it into the Low Countries, where (by his deare earnings) hee bequeathed that to those of his name, with nothing, but his name seemed to deprive him of in England. Ost-end being besieged, he lost one of his eyes, whilst he looked ouer the walls, which first storme did rather driue him on to more dangerous aduentures, though to the hazard euen of a shipwracke, (than like a fearefull Merchant) to runne his fortunes and reputation on ground, for the boysterous threatnings of euery idle billow. So that his resolution set vpon this rest, to leaue all the remainer of his bodie to that Country, which had taken from him one of the best iewells of his life, since it had a peece of him, he would not so dishonour the place, as to carry away the rest broken. Into the field therefore comes he, the fates putting both his eyes into one, (of purpose) because hee should looke vpon none but his enemies: where, a battaile being to be fought, the desert aduanced him to aduance the Colours; by which dignitie, he became one of the fairest markes, which was then to be shot at: and where a great part of that daies glorie was to be wonne; for the Regent that followed his Ensigne, (by being hardly set to) giuing ground, and the enemies ambition, thirsting after his Colours, threw at all, in hope to winne them. But the destinies (who fought on their side) mistooke themselues, and in stead of striking the Colours out of his hand, smote him: in so much, that hee was twice shot, and twice runne through the bodie, yet would not surrender his hold for all those breaches, but stripping the prize for which they stroue, off from the staffe that held it vp, and wrapping his dying bodie in it, drew out his weapon, with which before his Colours could be called his winding sheete, hee threw himselfe into the thickest of daunger, where after hee had slaine a horse-man, and two others most valiantly, hee came off (halfe dead, halfe aliue) brauely, deliuering vp his spirit in the armes of none but his friends and fellow souldiers.

  So that (as if Fortune had beene iealous of her owne wauering) death (at her intreatie) tooke him away, in the noone-tide of a happinesse, least any blacke euenings ouercasting, should spoile it with alteration. Hee was married to the honour of a fielde in the morning, and died in the Armes of it the same day, before it was spoyled of the mayden-head: so that it went away chaste and vnbleamishable. To conclude, (father Sculler) because I see wee are vppon landing, here is as much as I can speake in his praise: he died auncient in the verie middest of his youth. Charon humde and cried well; and hauing rid his boat of them, directed them to those happie places which were allotted out to none but Martialists.

  In this Interim Sir Digoneis worshippe (our wandring knight,) is walking with the monilesse Orator in one of the Elizian gardens, to whom hee relates (aeerbatim) his masters answer and resolution, which he receiues (considering he was now where he would be) with as few wordes as he was woont to carrie pence in his purse. The Post hath as little to say to him, & there for casting a slight eie (because he durst do no other, for that place is not for him) vpon all the Elizian Courtiers, (like a disdainfull phantasticke Frenchman, when he comes into a strange Countrie as though hee trauailed rather to bee seene than to obserue,) vp he gettes vppon one of the Diuels Hackneyes, and away hee rides about his other worldly businesse, about which, whilest hee is sweating, let mee carrie you vppe into those Insulae fortunatae, which are imbraced about with waters sweete, redolent, and Cristoline, the Teares of the Vine are not so precious, the Nectar of the Gods nothing so sweete and delicious. If you walke into the Groaues, you shall see all sortes of Birdes melodiously singing, Shepheardes Swaines deftly pyping, and Virgins the trees euer flourishing, the fruits euer growing, the flowers euer springing: for the very benches whereon they sit, are buds of violets, the buddes whereon they lie, bankes of muske roses, their pillowes are hearts-ease, their sheetes, the silken leaues of willow: vpon which, lest my intranced soule lie too long, and forget herselfe, let me heere (like one started out of a golden dreame) be so delighted with these treasures, which I found in my sleepe, that for a while I stand amazed, and speake nothing. Iam desine Tibia Versas.

  FINIS.

  THE SEVEN DEADLY SINNES OF LONDON

  Drawne in seuen seuerall Coaches, Through the seuen seuerall Gates of the Citie Bringing the Plague with them.

  Opus septem Dierum.

  Tho: Dekker.

  At London Printed by E.A. for Nathaniel Butter, and are to bee sold at his shop neere Saint Austens gate. 1606.

  READER,

  IT is as ordinarie a custome (for vs that are Bookish) to haue about with thee, after wee haue done with
a Patron, as for Schollers (in the noble Science) to play at the woodden Rapier and Dagger at the ende of a Maisters prize. In doing which we know not vpon what Speeding points wee runne, for you (that are Readers) are the most desperate and fowlest players in the world, you will strike when a mans backe is toward you, and kill him (if you could for shame) when he lies vnder your feete. You are able (if you haue the tokens of deadly Ignorance, and Boldnes at one time vpon you) to breede more infection on in Pauls Church-yard, then all the bodies that were buried there in the Plague-time, if they had beene left still aboue ground. You stand somtimes at a Stationers stal, looking scuruily (like Mules champing vpon Thistles) on the face of a new Booke bee it neuer so worthy: & goe (as il fauouredly) mewing away: But what get you by it? The Booke-seller euer after when you passe by, pinnes on your backes the badge of fooles to make you be laught to scorne, or of sillie Carpers to make you be pitted: Comadus Gesner neuer writ of the nature of such strange beasts as you are: for where as we call you Lectores, Readers, you turne your selues into Lictores, Executioners, & tormenters. I wold not haue him that writes better than I, to Reade this, nor him that cannot doe so well, to Raile, or if hee cannot chuse but Raile, let him doe it to my face: otherwise being absent) it is done cowardly: for Leonem mortuum mordent etiam Catuli: Cats dare scratch Lions by the face when they lie dead, and none but Colliers will threaten a Lord Maior when they are farre enough from the Cittie. I haue laide no blockes in thy way: if thou findest Strawes, (Vade, vale,) caue ne titubes.

  THE NAMES OF THE ACTORS IN THIS OLD ENTERLUDE OF INIQUITIE.

  1 Politike Bankeruptisme.

  2 Lying.

  3 Candle-light.

  4 Sloth.

  5 Apishnesse.

  6 Shauing.

  7 Crueltie.

  Seuen may easily play this, but not without a Diuell.

  THE INDUCTION TO THE BOOKE.

  I Finde it written in that Booke where no vntruthes can be read: in that Booke whose leaues shall out-last sheetes of brasse, and whose lynes leade to eternity: yea euen in that Booke that was pend by the best Author of the best wisedome, allowed by a Deity, licensed by the Omnipotent, and published (in all Languages to all Nations) by the greatest, truest, and onely Diuine, thus I find it written, that for Sinne, Angels were throwne out of heauen; for Sinne, the first man that euer was made, was made an outcast: he was driuen ouf of his liuing that was left vnto him by his Creator: It was a goodlier liuing, than the Inheritance of Princes: he lost Paradice by it (he lost his house of pleasure:) hee lost Eden by it, a Garden, where Winter could neuer haue nipt him with cold, nor Summer haue scorcht him with heate. He had there all fruits growing to delight his taste, all flowers flourishing to allure his eye, all Birds singing to content his eare; he had more than he could desire: yet because he desired more than was fit for him, he lost all. For Sinne, all those buildings which that great Worke-master of the world had in sixe dayes raysed, were swallowed at the first by waters, and shall at last be consumed in fire. How many families hath this Leuiathan deuoured? how many Cities? how many Kingdoms? Let vs a while leaue Kingdomes, and enter into Citties. Sodom and Gomorrah were burnt to the ground with brinstone that dropt in flakes from heauen: a hot and dreadfull vengeance. Ierusalem hath not a stone left vpon another of her first glorious foundation: a heauy and fearefull downefall. Ierusalem, that was Gods owne dwelling house; the Schoole where those Hebrew Lectures, which he himselfe read, were taught; the very Nursery where the Prince of Heauen was brought vp; that Ierusalem, whose Rulers were Princes, & whose Citizens were like the sonnes of Kings: whose Temples were paued with gold, and whose houses stood like rowes of tall Cedars; that Ierusalem is now a dezert; It is vnhallowed, and vnto odden: no Monument is left to shew it was a Citty, but only the memoriall of the Iewes hard-hartednes, in making away their Sauiour: It is now a place for barbarous Turks, and poore despised Grecians; it is rather now (for the abominations committed in it) no place at all.

  Let vs hoyst vp more Sayles, and lanch into other Seas, till wee come in ken of our owne Countrey. Antwerp (the eldest daughter of Brabant) hath falne in her pride, the Citties of rich Burgundy in theyr greatnes. Those seuenteene Dutch Virgins of Belgia, (that had Kingdomes to theyr dowries, and were worthy to be courted by Nations) are now no more Virgins: the Souldier hath deflowred them, and robd them of theyr Mayden honor: Warre hath still vse of their noble bodyes, and discouereth theyr nakednes like prostituted Strumpets. Famine hath dryed vp the fresh bloud in theyr cheekes, whilst the Pestilence digd vp theyr Fields, and turned them into Graues. Neither haue these punishments bin layd vpon them onely; for bloud hath bin also drawne of their very next neighbours. France lyes yet panting vnder the blowes which her owne Children haue giuen her. Thirty yeeres together suffred she her bowels to be torne out by those that were bred within them: She was full of Princes, and saw them all lye mangled at her feete: She was full of people, and saw in one night a hundred thousand massacred in her streetes: her Kings were eaten vp by Ciuill warres, and her Subiects by fire and famine. O gallant Monarchy, what hard fate hadst thou, that when none were left to conquer thee, thou shouldst triumph ouer thy selfe! Thou hast Wynes flowing in thy veynes: but thou madest thy selfe druncke with thine owne bloud. The English, the Dutch, and the Spanish, stoode aloofe and gaue ayme, whilst thou shotst arrowes vpright, that fell vpon thine owne head, and wounded thee to death. Wouldst thou (and the rest) know the reason, why your bones haue bin bruzed with rods of Iron? It was, because you haue risen in Arch-rebellion against the Supremest Soueraigne: You haue bin Traytors to your Lord, the King of heauen and earth, and haue armed your selues to fight against the Holy Land. Can the father of the world measure out his loue so vnequally, that one people (like to a mans yongest child) should be more made of than all the rest, being more vnruly than the rest? O London, thou art great in glory, and enuied for thy greatnes: thy Towers, thy Temples, and thy Pinnacles stand vpon thy head like borders of fine gold, thy waters like frindges of siluer hang at the hemmes of thy garments. Thou art the goodliest of thy neighbors, but the prowdest; the welthiest, but the most wanton. Thou hast all things in thee to make thee fairest, and all things in thee to make thee foulest: for thou art attir’de like a Bride, drawing all that looke vpon thee, to be in loue with thee, but there is much harlot in thine eyes. Thou sitst in thy Gates heated with Wines, and in thy Chambers with lust. What miseries haue of late ouertaken thee? yet (like a foole that laughs when hee is putting on fetters) thou hast bin merry in height of thy misfortunes. She (that for almost halfe a hundred of yeeres) of thy Nurse became thy Mother, and layd thee in her bosome, whose head was full of cares for thee, whilst thine slept vpon softer pillowes than downe. She that wore thee alwayes on her brest as the richest Iewell in her kingdome, who had continually her eye vpon thee, and her heart with thee: whose chaste hand clothed thy Rulers in Scarlet, and thy Inhabitants in roabes of peace: euen she was taken from thee, when thou wert most in feare to lose her: when thou didst tremble (as at an earth-quake) to thinke that bloud should runne in thy Channels, that the Canon should make away through thy Portcullises, and fire rifle thy wealthy houses, then, euen then wert thou left full of teares, and becamst an Orphan. But behold, thou hadst not sat many howres on the banks of sorrow, but thou hadst a louing Father that adopted thee to be his owne: thy mourning turnd presently to gladnes, thy terrors into triumphs. Yet, lest this fulnesse of ioy should beget in thee a wantonnes, and to try how wisely thou couldst take vp affliction, Sicknes was sent to breathe her vnholsome ayres into thy nosthrils, so that thou, that wert before the only Gallant and Minion of the world, hadst in a short time more diseases (then a common Harlot hath) hanging vpon thee; thou suddenly becamst the by-talke of neighbors, the scorne and contempt of Nations.

  Heere could I make thee weepe thy selfe away into waters, by calling back those sad and dismall houres, wherein thou consumedst almost to nothing with shrikes and lamentations, in that Wonderfull yeere, when these miserable calamities entred in at thy Gates, slaying 3
0000. and more as thou heldst them in thine armes, but they are fresh in thy memory, and the story of them (but halfe read ouer) would strike so coldly to thy heart, and lay such heauy sorrow vpon mine (Namque animus meminisse horret, luctuque refugit) that I will not be thine and my owne tormentor with the memory of them. How quickly notwithstanding didst thou forget that beating? The wrath of him that smot thee, was no sooner (in meere pitty of thy stripes) appeased, but howrely (againe) thou wert in the company of euill doers, euen before thou couldst finde leysure to aske him forgiuenes.

  Euer since that time hath hee winckt at thy errors, and suffred thee (though now thou art growne old, and lookest very ancient) to goe on still in the follyes of thy youth: he hath ten-fold restor’de thy lost sonnes and daughters, and such sweete, liuely, fresh colours hath hee put vpon thy cheekes, that Kings haue come to behold thee, and Princes to delight their eyes with thy bewty. None of all these fauours (for all this) can draw thee from thy wickednes: Graces haue powrd downe out of heauen vpon thee, and thou art rich in all things, sauing in goodnes: So that now once againe hath he gone about (and but gone about) to call thee to the dreadfull Barre of his Iudgement. And no maruaile: for whereas other Citties (as glorious as thy selfe,) and other people (as deare vnto him as thine) haue in his indignation bin quite taken from the face of the earth, for some one peculiar Sinne, what hope hast thou to grow vp still in the pride of thy strength, gallantnes and health, hauing seuen deadly and detestable sinnes lying night by night by thy lasciuious sides? O thou beawtifullest daughter of two vnited Monarchies! from thy womb receiued I my being, fro¯ thy brests my nourishment; yet giue me leaue to tell thee, that thou hast seuen Diuels within thee, and till they be cleane cast out, the Arrowes of Pestilence will fall vpon thee by day, and the hand of the Inuader strike thee by night. The Sunne will shine, but not be a comfort to thee, and the Moone looke pale with anger, whe¯ she giues thee light. Thy Louers will disdayne to court thee: thy Temples will no more send out Diuine oracles: Iustice will take her flight, and dwell else-where; and that Desolation, which now for three yeeres together hath houered round about thee, will at last enter, and turne thy Gardens of pleasure, into Church-yards; thy Fields that seru’d thee for walks, into Golgotha; and thy hye built houses, into heapes of dead mens Sculs. I call him to witnes, who is all Truth, I call the Cittizens of heauen to witnes, who are all spotlesse, that I slander thee not, in saying thou nourishest seuen Serpents at thy brests, that will destroy thee: let all thy Magistrates and thy officers speake for me: let Strangers that haue but seene thy behauiour, be my Iudges: let all that are gathered vnder thy wings, and those that sleepe in thy bosome, giue their verdict vpon me; yea, try me (as thy brabblings are) by all thy Petit and Graund Iurors, and if I belye thee, let my Country (when I expire) deny me her common blessing, Buriall, Lift vp therefore thy head (thou Mother of so many people:) awaken out of thy dead and dangerous slumbers, and with a full and fearelesse eye behold those seuen Monsters, that with extended iawes gape to swallow vp thy memory: for I will into so large a field single euery one of them, that thou and all the world shall see their vglinesse, for by seeing them, thou mayst auoyd them, and by auoyding them, be the happiest and most renowned of Citties.