Four Steps

by Wendy Hudson

  Alex smiled despite herself; it had won her over in an instant too. “Tell me it’s all going to be okay, Jess.”

  “Alex.” She turned to face her, placing a beer in her hand before taking her by the shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”

  Chapter 19

  Lori dropped her bag and plopped down on the end of the bed. She surveyed the room noting a few personal pictures and cosmetics that must be Jess’s. It still felt surreal to be there, but her nerves had been eased, replaced with excitement and anticipation of the weekend to come.

  She hadn’t been wrong in her first impression of Alex. She had realised that as soon as she had stepped into her arms again.

  It had also quickly become apparent how important it was to Alex and Jess that she felt comfortable and at home. This made Lori feel special and happy, that she had accepted the invite.

  She stripped off her suit and then sauntered into the bathroom for a quick brush of her teeth and wash of her face. After removing the day’s make up, she felt fresh and free. She pulled on a pair of worn skinny jeans and a loose fitting, dark green, wool jumper and then opened the wardrobe to find a hanger for her suit. There were more items that seemed to belong to Jess along with a brand new wetsuit. Given how far they were from the sea, she wondered what kind of sport Jess could be into.

  She checked herself in the mirror once she’d brushed her hair back in a ponytail. “You look fine, Lori. Comfy, composed, and calm.”

  Next, she dug out some thick cosy socks and padded in them back along the corridor toward the kitchen. She found Alex standing at the island watching Jess chop vegetables. “Something smells delicious.”

  Alex handed her a cold beer from the fridge. “It’s Jess’s famous chorizo and vegetable risotto. Told you she wanted to make a good impression this weekend.” She winked Lori’s way.

  “Yeah, you see how this works, Lori. I do the work, Alex takes the glory.”

  “She’s just earning her keep. I told you not to let her fool you, she loves the cooking.”

  “Well, maybe you can let me make you breakfast, Jess, to give you at least one shift off, and to thank you for giving up your room?” Lori said.

  “Make me breakfast, eh? If Alex hadn’t told me you’re a straight girl, that kind of line would give me the wrong impression.” She laughed, wiggling her eyebrows mischievously.

  When Lori realised what she meant she felt heat crawling up her neck and cheeks and knew she’d turned crimson while Alex just glared at Jess.

  Jess looked between the two of them. “What?” She raised her hands innocently and returned her attention to the saucepan.

  “Ignore her, Lori. She’s just cranky she has to share with Susie tomorrow night because none of the boys can cope with her snoring and she isn’t trusted with any of the other girls.”

  “Oh no, is that a bad thing? I thought you and Susie were friends? Jess, you should just have the room you usually do. I don’t mind sharing.”

  “It’s fine, honestly,” Jess pointed her wooden spoon. “Alex, untwist your knickers and don’t be so mean. I’m just teasing her. Besides you really don’t want to share with Susie. At least I know how to handle her.”

  “Sounds ominous,” Lori said.

  “Her bark is worse that her bite. Wait actually…”

  Alex wagged a finger. “Now, Jess. Be nice.”

  “So sorry, Mistress. Please forgive me.” Jess bowed and rolled her eyes in Lori’s direction. “Seriously, it’s fine. I’ll just get her so drunk she passes out and I don’t have to listen to her.”

  Lori was suddenly apprehensive again about the reception she was going to get from Alex’s friends. “So long as you’re sure, Jess?”

  “I am, honestly. But I will take you up on breakfast. Now why don’t you give her the rest of the tour, Alex, while I finish dinner?”

  “Aye, good idea. Bring your beer.”

  They headed in the opposite direction from the bedrooms, back to the hallway where they’d first come in. “So you’ve seen the bedrooms at the other end of the house, there are six in total, including yours. One of them is mine which is en-suite as well, and then there’s a family bathroom for the other rooms to share. All the rooms are doubles and a couple have sofa beds for when we have a houseful. There’s one that’s empty.” She looked pensive for a moment and Lori was about to ask why when Alex answered before she had a chance. “I haven’t decided what to do with that one yet.”

  “Is it a houseful this weekend?”

  “Normally having a houseful means everyone has a boyfriend or girlfriend of some description that they bring. It can get interesting sometimes when there are a few new faces.”

  Lori forced a laugh. “So should I be preparing for it to get interesting?”

  Alex smiled rubbing Lori’s arm reassuringly. “Don’t panic, you’re the only new face this weekend so you’ll be getting all the attention.”

  “Oh, great. Just what I wanted to hear.”

  “I’m kidding. Don’t look so worried. They’re a good bunch and Jess will have your back when it comes to Susie. It’s their favourite pastime bitching at each other, so she’ll relish it.”

  They headed down a few steps, and Lori had to duck under an archway that opened into a bright, airy room very different from the country feel of the rest of the house. The walls were painted white and hung with records, both old and new. Framed gig posters, set lists, and ticket stubs filled one wall, and an array of instruments and chairs of varying styles were littered around the edge of the room. A circular coffee table covered in books, magazines, playing cards, and poker chips filled the centre, surrounded by oversized cushions. “I’ll say it again, wow. Do you play all these instruments?”

  “I wish. I play guitar and drums quite badly and a little piano not half bad. My sister, Beth, was the real musician. She could pick up anything and give you a tune. She played violin, various guitars, and piano amazingly. She was five years younger than me but had surpassed me musically before she left primary school.”

  “You never mentioned you had a sister. Is she coming to the party?”

  “I don’t. I mean, I did, but not anymore. She passed away eight years ago. She was fourteen.”

  “Oh, Alex, that’s terrible. I’m so sorry. What happened?”

  “It’s a long story for another time. That’s her over there.” She pointed to a picture on a shelf.

  “She’s beautiful, Alex. She looks just like you.”

  A happy dimple appeared at her comment. “I guess I keep this room set up for her. My friends get a kick out of it too. It used to be mine and Beth’s playroom when we were younger and gradually became a music den. Dad didn’t raise the door height like the others, so we had a rule if you had to duck down, you were too grown up to be in here.”

  She chuckled. “We had to banish a cousin one summer after he hit puberty and had a growth spurt.” She continued around the room, pointing things out to Lori. “A few of the guys play or like to try to play and everyone likes hanging out in here.” She pointed at the coffee table. “As you can see, we mostly play poker.”

  Lori smiled and imagined the scene. Content that Alex would talk about Beth if and when she wanted, she chose not to pry any further. She picked up a set of cards and gave them a fancy shuffle. “Good job I can play poker then, because I couldn’t play a single chord if you paid me.”

  “That makes us a perfect team then because I can’t bluff to save my life. You can help me fleece the others later. C’mon, I’ll show you the library.”

  “Does this house ever end?”

  Alex laughed. “This is the last room, apart from my office. I’ll give you the outdoor tour in the morning before the others arrive.” She pulled open a heavy wooden door that looked original to the house, and held it open for Lori to enter first.

  “Okay, so this is definitely my favourite room.” Lori turned in a circle, taking in the floor to ceiling stacks. “Have you read all these?”

  �
��Most of them. The piles over there are top of the list of those I haven’t.”

  Lori picked up a copy of Sarah Waters novel from the pile. “I’ve never read any of hers, but I saw the BBC made some into shows for the telly. Are they any good?”

  “Oh yes, they’re great. Wonderful lively stories, and guaranteed to give a straight girl like you an education.”

  “Education?”

  “Don’t give me that innocent look. Here.” Alex pulled out one of her books from a shelf. Smirking, she held it out to Lori. “Give this one a try.”

  “Why do I feel as if you’re setting me up here?”

  “Maybe because I am. Just read it and let me know what you think.”

  “And also why the presumption about my straightness?” Lori hid her own smirk at the mild surprise that washed over Alex’s face. Lori might not have a clue what was going on herself, but there was no harm in calling Alex out on something Lori had never confirmed.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. I assumed, what with Andrew and…I’m sorry. I’m only having some fun with you.”

  Alex seemed genuinely sorry, and a little annoyed with herself. Lori wagged a finger her way playfully. “Never assume Alex, you might miss out on something.” Lori turned away but not before she caught Alex’s eyes widen at her comment.

  She continued to circle the room, surprised at her own bravery in the moment. But something about both Alex and Jess commenting on her straightness had niggled at her.

  She turned back to Alex who’d been quiet, leaning back against one of the stacks clearly deep in thought. Lori interrupted her thoughts, taking the book from her hand. “Okay, I don’t trust you but I’m intrigued. I can save it for a couple of trips away with work that I have coming up.”

  Alex stood upright and nodded, the smile returning to her face. “Perfect. Now let’s head back through for dinner before Jess gets grumpy.”

  Chapter 20

  Lori slumped back in her dining chair. “Jess, that was truly delicious. I’m so stuffed. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’m glad someone around here appreciates me,” she said, looking pointedly at Alex.

  “What? You know I love your cooking. I even bought you a new kitchen so you’d cook for me. What more do you want?”

  Jess put a finger to her chin, considering her options. “What do you reckon, Lori? Should she clear the table and do the dishes while we go finish the wine?”

  “I think that’s a perfect idea.” She looked at Alex.

  “Hey, I thought you came to see me?” Alex protested.

  “I did, but I can’t pass up an opportunity to find out some of your dirty little secrets from your best friend.” She winked at Jess.

  Alex stood, pretending to huff. “Fine, fine. I know when I’m not wanted.” She collected the plates and then leant close to Jess, kissing the top of her head before whispering just loudly enough for Lori to hear, “Be nice about me.”

  Jess stood and laughed, picking up her glass and the half bottle of wine still left on the table. “C’mon, Lori, let’s head outside where she can’t hear us.” Alex’s eyes bored into her and she turned to poke her tongue out before heading out on to the patio.

  “So, I take it this is where the fun happens tomorrow night?” Lori looked around her, taking in the seating arrangements and barbeque.

  “It sure is. Get yourself comfy.” Jess pointed to one of the outdoor sofas before pushing a button that turned on the fairy lights and heaters above them.

  “I see you’re all set up. This is fantastic.”

  “Aye, Alex sure knows how to throw a party and keep her friends happy. She put a lot of work into this house with all of us in mind.”

  “She enjoys being the hostess then?”

  “To be honest, it’s not really like that. Once everything is set up we all muck in and see to ourselves. It’s a close group and we all feel at home here. She’s not really a centre of attention girl. I think she likes having the company every now and again and enjoys seeing the place filled. Alex likes making people happy.”

  “I guess it must get a bit lonely out here. It’s a big place for one person.”

  “It is and, even after everything that happened here, she’ll never leave it.”

  “What do you mean?” Lori wondered if she was talking about Beth.

  Jess waved the comment off. “Believe me, Alex wouldn’t have it any other way hiding out here on her own. She’ll be glad to see the back of us Sunday.”

  Lori clearly wasn’t getting anymore from Jess and chose not to press the issue. As she looked around at the beautiful home Alex had made, she wasn’t sure anything could get her to leave either.

  “So…” Jess interrupted her thoughts. “Alex tells me you’re an interpreter?”

  “Oui.” She smiled. “Sorry, I can’t help it sometimes.”

  “No, please, I love hearing accents. I can’t wait to travel: Europe, Asia, and South America…”

  “Oh yeah, you mentioned that earlier. When does the big adventure begin?”

  “I’m not sure. I actually have the money saved and my work is willing to agree a yearlong sabbatical. They’re so desperate for social workers they’re just happy I want to come back.”

  “So what’s the problem?”

  Jess glanced toward the kitchen then looked back at her, seemingly debating how much she should say. Taking a sip of wine, she seemed to make a decision. “I can’t leave Alex.”

  “Oh.” Lori wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t know anything about their friendship, or even if it had only ever been a friendship. Her conversation with Adam echoed at the back of Lori’s mind. About getting out there and doing things for herself and her happiness. “Surely Alex wants you to do what makes you happy though, and has been expecting you to go eventually?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve been talking about this for so long, I think she thinks that’s all it is, talk. I don’t think she believes I’ll ever do it.”

  “Have you talked to her? I mean, Alex is a big girl and it’s only a year. I’m sure she’ll cope—”

  “Listen, you hardly know Alex, so you don’t know what she’s been through. The longest I’ve gone without seeing her is three weeks in over ten years. And that was just this past three weeks.”

  “Okay, I’m sorry.” Lori held her hands up in surrender, worried about upsetting the person so obviously closest to Alex. “You’re right, I don’t know her. I don’t know what you’ve been through together. I didn’t mean to be flippant.”

  Jess took a breath and slumped back in the sofa. “No, I’m sorry. I’m being unfair. If I’m honest, it’s not all about her. I guess it will be hard for me too. I’ll miss her. I tried to get her to come with me, but she won’t leave the farm for that long.”

  “Jess, are you and Alex… I mean, have you and Alex…”

  “Oh no. Me and Alex have never…you know… It’s not like that. Apart from a couple of drunken disco kisses in our teens, but then who hasn’t kissed their best friend when drunk eh?” She laughed.

  Lori thought of Stella. “Um, well—”

  “Seriously? Wow.” She whispered conspiratorially, “Is your best friend ugly? It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  Lori laughed out loud then. “Actually, she’s gorgeous, but I guess I was with Andrew almost the whole time I’ve known her and I’ve never really thought of girls like that so…”

  “Gorgeous you say?”

  “Yes. And straight, I’m afraid.”

  “Hey, you know what they say?”

  “No, enlighten me. What do they say?”

  “You’re only straight until you’re not.” Jess winked then, a knowing look on her face.

  Lori took a gulp of wine, feeling her face heat. “Why do I think that’s a dig at me?”

  It was Jess’s turn to hold her hands up. “Hey, it’s just a saying. Anyway, does that mean you’ve only ever been with guys then?”

  Feeling slightly uncomfortable with t
he way this conversation was going, Lori filled their glasses, buying herself some time. “Actually, just guy.”

  “No. Way.” Jess’s eyes widened. “You’ve only been with one guy?” She practically squealed in disbelief.

  “Shh. Yes. I mean, I dated other guys before Andrew but nothing ever clicked and I studied hard at uni so there wasn’t much time for relationships. I guess I wasn’t really interested.”

  “Wait a minute.” Jess leaned forward towards her making sure she had Lori’s full attention. “Answer me this. How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

  “Jeez, you really aren’t shy are you? Has Alex put you up to this?”

  “No, cross my heart. C’mon spill. I promise it won’t leave this patio.”

  Lori coughed into her hand. “Twenty-three,” before gulping half her wine back.

  “Twenty-three! Holy shit, Lori!”

  Lori couldn’t help but laugh then. “I know, I know. It’s tragic. What can I say?”

  “Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who made it through university without at least one night to regret. Or half a dozen, in my case.”

  Alex stepped out on to the patio then, wine glass in hand, just as the pair of them burst into a fit of giggles together. “I hope that’s not at my expense?”

  “Please, sweetie pie, we’ve more interesting things to be talking about than you.” Jess winked Lori’s way.

  “Okay, so what did I miss?”

  “I was just about to give Lori the low down on who else is coming tomorrow night.”

  “Ah, yes. Jess loves a good gossip about her friends.”

  “Hey, you said you were trustworthy,” Lori protested.

  “Don’t you worry, my innocent little English rose. I prefer to do it behind your back so you’ll never know.”

  “Oh, I feel so much better. Okay, so prepare me for tomorrow, then. Who is coming and what do I need to know? I need back stories plus dos and don’ts. I have big feet I regularly find myself chewing on.”

  Alex and Jess exchanged glances then Alex blew out a breath and got up and headed back inside, calling over her shoulder, “I think we’re going to need another bottle of wine for this.”