Between the Cracks She Fell

by Lisa de Nikolits

  I forced myself to stop thinking such rubbish thoughts, and that I wasn’t doing myself any favours with these destructive flights of fancy.

  I went back to the laundry and was comforted by the fragrance of warm clothes and the innocence of soap. I folded my clothes neatly and put them in my backpack.

  I bought a bag of chips and a few cans of cola from the corner café and headed back to the car to find Em fast asleep in the front seat, her mouth open, snoring slightly.

  I opened the back door quietly and I eased my way in. Then I lay back and read a book, eating chips and slugging Coke.

  By the time Em woke, it was early evening and the sun was hot inside the car. I was halfway through my book and had long since finished all the chips.

  I was just about to leave and go back to my room when Em sat up and groaned. Her face was still swollen from crying, and she had sleep creases from the old cardigan she had used for a pillow. She looked ready to let rip with the waterworks again, but I jumped in before she could start.

  I got the money Emmy, I said. We’ll get it tomorrow okay? Two thousand cash. Don’t worry.

  Em looked at me open-mouthed. What the fuck did you do? she asked.

  Made a deal with the devil, I thought, but I didn’t say it. Made a plan, I said, and Emma climbed into the back with me and showered me with kisses.

  You want to be careful doing that, I said. I’ve never felt this filthy or sticky in my life. This heat, this sticky, humid, killer heat. I’m covered in a layer of dead aphids and bugs. I wish we could have a nice hot bath or a shower. Maybe we should go to the pool and have a swim. What do you think?

  Em managed a smile. I concur, she said.

  But just then my phone rang. It was Ashley. Rob had left the building.

  37. THE PILING UP

  I SIGNALLED TO EM THAT IT WAS ASHLEY and that I needed to talk. I left the car and walked away quickly. I needed to let off some steam about the day.

  I told him how my morning had begun by Serena giving me the message to give Em and then about Em and Sam and the visit to the vet. I was going to tell him about my meeting with Lenny, but I realized I hadn’t even asked Ash how he was, so I came to an abrupt stop.

  Ash, never mind me, how are you?

  I am fine. Oh, my poor dear, Ashley said. What a day you have had! Please let me come and get you.

  No, Ash, you can’t risk it. You know that. How are you feeling anyway? Forgive me, I’ve been rambling on in the most self-centred way. How are your ribs?

  Much better, much better. Listen where exactly are you? I’ll come right away.

  I can’t leave Emma, Ash. She’s distraught.

  You need to take care of you for a bit, Ashley said sharply. How’s this: she can come too. Tell me where you both are. And don’t worry, if you make a mess tonight, the cleaners will fix everything. They’re coming tomorrow and Rob will never know the difference, okay?

  I gave in and told him where we were parked.

  I’ll be there in half an hour. Tell the puppy princess to be ready.

  I laughed and hung up.

  True to his word, Ash’s Mini Cooper made a neat little turn into the parking lot half an hour later. I rushed over to him and examined his face. The bruising was still vivid, but I could see he was on the mend. He was moving stiffly, but he assured me that his ribs felt better too. I took him over and introduced him to Em, and I just knew in an instant that the two did not care for one another, and suddenly, I felt horribly tired.

  I just couldn’t bear another problem and I watched helplessly as they bristled around each other like two pit bulls warming up. I had no idea why they didn’t like each other, as they’d only just met and for the life of me, I could not see the red flag that each of them so clearly did. I wondered what to do.

  Emmy, I said. Don’t come if you don’t want to.

  Em’s eyes immediately filled with tears. I can’t stay here by myself, she said. I can’t be all alone without my Sammy. I’ll be too afraid.

  Well, then you’re coming with us and in you go, Ashley said in an over-hearty voice as he pulled the seat forward to let Em into the backseat. I climbed into the front and the three of us drove off, making, I thought, one very odd, and largely silent group.

  When we reached Ashley’s house and made our way through the luxurious playpen basement, Em’s spirits perked up.

  Wow, HD TV, 3D! You guys have got everything!

  Ashley turned on the television and handed her the remotes. Knock yourself out, he said sourly and led me upstairs.

  Don’t, I said, once we were out of Em’s earshot.

  Don’t what? he asked.

  Don’t tell me you don’t like her, don’t tell me you think she’s a princess, don’t tell me anything, Ash. I am too tired.

  He looked at me. You’re right, I am sorry, he said. Tell you what, I am going to whip up a treat for you. What was your favourite supper growing up? What was the best thing your Mom ever made for you?

  I thought about it for a moment. French toast, I said, with grated cheddar cheese on top and lots of black pepper.

  Ash pulled a face and then groaned at the pain it caused, and I laughed at his dismay.

  You asked, I said.

  And your second choice?

  It’s not going to improve, I said. Welsh rarebit.

  Oh my Lord, your poor arteries. Everything is fried and cheesy. But for you, my dear, anything. How about the welsh rarebit with a dash of excellent chardonnay in the sauce? And I will slice the toast nice and thin….

  No, no, I cried out in mock horror, the bread must be thick. Put wine in the sauce for sure but make the bread doorsteps, I beg of you.

  Ashley looked crestfallen. Speaking of wine, he said. Can I get you a nice big glass?

  Oh yes, please. I’m parched for a drink. Ash, I really don’t want to get you into trouble again, but do you think I could have a shower?

  Absolutely, and as I said, the cleaners are coming so don’t worry. Here’s your wine, go on up and have a ball dear. Fling those towels, whip that foam.

  Promise me you won’t kill or maim Em while I am gone.

  Who? Ash inquired with mock innocence, and I threw a dishtowel at him.

  You might want to go and offer her some wine, I said over my shoulder on my way up the stairs, and I laughed when he made a face followed by a grimace of pain.

  I stopped at the top of the landing and studied Rob’s portrait. Yes, it was him. He was Frances Weston, the shyster; there was no doubt in my mind.

  I looked around at the plush opulence and felt sick, thinking about all the pensioners who had been done out of their hard-earned life savings. There was no excuse for something like that. Once I got Sammy back from the vet and figured out my own next step, I would figure out what to do about Rob. A week or so would not make things worse for the pensioners. I would find a way to make things right.

  I stood under the shower for more than half an hour, soaking in the lovely heat and scrubbing the dirt from my pores until my skin was nearly raw and painful. Then I turned the water to unadulterated cold which was a thing of beauty. I turned my face up to the water and rubbed my eyelids and felt my strength returning; my faith in myself was coming back. I had been shaken by the episode in the park, wondering if all of this was taking a greater toll on me than I had bargained for.

  I was glad I had my fresh laundry to change into, and I combed through my hair, smothering it with Rob’s ultra-luxurious leave-in conditioner.

  I made my way downstairs, wondering what I’d find, but to my surprise Em and Ashley were laughing like old friends, doubled over at some joke.

  Hello, my clean one, Ash called out. Good timing, supper is nearly ready, Em’s laid the table…

  Nothing else to lay around here, Em called out, pulling linen napkins from a drawer. Despite your p
edestrian menu selection for our dining experience Joss, we are going all out, crystal glassware, linen napkins, silver cutlery.

  I cast a worried glance at Ash who waved assent at me.

  Should we really be using it? I asked.

  Sunshine, don’t worry, he replied. Rob will only be back late on Friday night. He’s got a dinner in Montreal at seven, and he’s catching the red-eye. If you ask me, he’s got some boy toy there … who knows what he gets up to? I mean what business meeting goes on that late on a Friday night?

  I caught the sense of pain underlying his joking tone, and I hastened to reassure him.

  Look at your watch, I said. No one gets a diamond encrusted Rolex unless they are dearly loved. I’d bet my bottom dollar, such as it is, that he’s Mr. Faithful.

  I didn’t want to add that he was also Mr. Shyster, Mr. Illegal, and Mr. Plain Disgusting.

  But before I could say anything more, Em shot over to Ashley. Diamonds, diamonds, diamonds, Rolex, Rolex, Rolex. Let’s see, let’s see, she chanted like a child and Ashley held out his wrist.

  Take it off, Em insisted. Let me try it on.

  Don’t trust her Ash, I said dryly, and Em stuck her tongue out at me.

  C’mon, Ash, let me try it, she begged.

  No time, Ash said. Dinner, mon amis, is served. Please take your seats.

  We sat down at the pristine dining-room table.

  This table is extraordinary, Em commented. I noticed the grain when I was setting our places. What kind of wood is it?

  A mix of teak, maple and cherry, Ash said.

  It looked like a cross-section of a tree only with all the striations running vertically and it was, I agreed, magnificent.

  How much did it cost? Em asked, her mouth full of melted cheese as she rubbed the polished surface of the table in a way that seemed nearly sexual.

  Ash shrugged. Couple thousand, I guess. Or more. Sometimes I can’t remember.

  Nice chandelier too, Em said.

  She was making me uncomfortable, what with her obvious inventory of the contents of the house. I knew she had no money but still, we were guests, and she had no idea that Rob was a sleaze. To this point, I had dismissed all her hair-brained money-making schemes as the daydreamed flights of fancy by someone impoverished, and therefore harmless, but now, watching her stalk the décor like it was prey, well, I was discomforted. What made it worse was that I was the one who brought her into Ash and Rob’s home.

  This is absolutely delicious, I said to Ash hoping to change the subject.

  Yes, incredible. Em said. I’d say cheddar and parmesan, double cream, egg yolks, and mustard powder with a dash of wine? Ashley grinned at her, delighted by her praise.

  You’re good, he said. More wine?

  Em pushed her glass towards him. Twist my arm, she said. Love the wine glasses. Where did you score these beauties?

  Swarovski, Ashley said, rolling his eyes in apology. Meanwhile I worried Em would slug down the wine and pocket the glass.

  We ate the rest of the meal in silence, but my enjoyment of the food was spoiled by Em who was even studying the cutlery without any subtlety, holding her fork up to the light and turning it this way and that.

  We finished eating and helped Ashley carry the plates to the kitchen.

  Royal Doulton, Em sighed, loading the plates into the dishwasher and I nearly slapped her.

  Ice cream and hot chocolate sauce for dessert? Ash asked. He seemed oblivious to Em’s voracious greed, which was odd since he had been so suspicious of her in the beginning.

  The mention of dessert had us groaning.

  Maybe later, she and I chorused.

  Let’s go and watch a movie, Em suggested, a scary horror where we can all scream loudly.

  I’ve had enough real life horror for a while, I said, and I led Em over to the racks of DVDs that were neatly lined on one wall.

  Oh, I know, she said. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle.

  She was shouted down by both Ash and myself.

  Stoner movie deluxe, I said, thinking of Shayne and how he had watched the movie repeatedly.

  Oh you guys. Em pouted. She flung herself down on the soft sofa and sulked. You choose.

  Ash and I chose This Is Spinal Tap, which both of us had seen half a dozen times before, but still had us rolling around on the floor, with Em looking at us in confusion.

  Must be a gay British thing, she said once the movie was over, and Ashley threw a cushion at her.

  It’s called an above-average intelligence thing, he said, and Em scowled at him and picked at her nails.

  Now, now, you two. You were playing so nicely, don’t stop now, I said, and I yawned. It’s after midnight, no wonder I am tired. I have a big day tomorrow, I am meeting Lenny in the laundromat at ten, and I must get some sleep.

  Why on earth are you meeting him? Ashley asked shocked, and I realized I had not told him.

  We need the money for Sam, I said and explained the whole thing. I know I should give the cops the bracelet to prove that Lenny killed Kitty, but we need the money for Sam.

  Oh, I really don’t like this one bit, Ashley said. I wish I had the cash to give you but I don’t.

  Sell something, Em suggested. There’s so much here and it’s all worth a lot.

  Ash and I both scowled at her and she shrugged.

  I’ll come with you tomorrow, Ashley suggested. But I shook my head and took out the phone and showed them the picture of Lenny.

  You can’t come with me, I told Ashley. Lenny thinks I emailed this to you, and I told him that I will be phoning you by noon.

  He’s very feral-looking, Ash commented. Ugly really. And very young.

  I did not want to tell Ash that I was oddly attracted to this ugly feral young man, so I just shrugged.

  Ashley took the phone from me. Let me charge this for you, he said. I can’t have you running around meeting hoodlums and not be able to get in touch.

  But Ash, it will take too long to charge, and we can’t stay here tonight, I said. Can you drive us back?

  You can stay here. Ash found his charger and then busied himself pulling blankets and pillows out of a closet. Em, you can sleep down here, and Joss, you can sleep on the sofa upstairs. Come on.

  Em lost no time in getting settled. Before I could open my mouth to protest, she was face down, buried in blankets, and lost in the pillows.

  I still looked doubtful.

  Joss, I’ll set the alarm for seven a.m. The cleaners get here at eight. I’ll drop you both off in town and be back before they arrive.

  Set the alarm for six-thirty, I was insistent. I want to make sure you have enough time okay?

  She’s such a worrywart, Em muttered from under her thick blanket, clearly not as asleep as I had thought. Oh, this feels delicious. Thanks Ashley. This is the most luxury I’ve had in months. That car is not exactly five-star….

  It’s my pleasure, Ash told her. And I agree, you’re right, he said to me. Six-thirty it is. Let’s go upstairs and get you settled. Goodnight Em. But all he got for his trouble was the slight sound of snoring and I hoped Em was not faking it and simply waiting until we all fell asleep, so that she could get up and make off with the dinnerware.

  Ash, I said, while he made up my bed on the upstairs living room sofa, I am sorry Emma is so … well, focused on material stuff and how much it all cost.

  She doesn’t mean anything by it, he said. I understand where she’s coming from. Before I lived here, I used to be online for nights on end, scrolling through the prices and suppliers of linens, and cutlery and glasses and mirrors — everything. I designed my perfect house more times than I can tell you. Chandeliers, kitchen fittings, kitchen accessories, rugs, sofas, chairs, artwork. I was more materialistic than Emma could ever be. I thought I’d never have any of it, and now I’ve got everything a
nd don’t let me fool you, I love it. I love every knife, fork, and spoon in the place and I’d know if Em took so much as one of them. The flatware stays with me.

  Flatware? I spread my blanket over me and tucked the cushion under my head. I had to agree with Em — the softness, the fragrant warmth of the sofa’s fabric — it was sheer heaven.

  That’s cutlery to you Brits, Ash said. He blew me a kiss then went upstairs to bed.

  I thought I would fall asleep immediately, given the glorious comfort upon which I lay, but instead, I tossed and turned, awake and restless. My dealings with Lenny had left a bad taste in my mouth even though I felt I had no choice. Besides, Kitty was dead, there was no changing that, and if I could help Em out, then where was the harm? And I thought about Em…. Despite Ash’s reassurances, I had doubts about Em’s trustworthiness. I tried to convince myself that Em’s harmless vocal admissions of crime were hardly a reason not to trust her. She had suffered so much abuse that her obsession with money was perfectly understandable. And she was my friend.

  I would tell Serena about Kitty’s woodland grave as soon as I could, but I could not risk jeopardizing my own home.

  I was also worried that our evening would have serious repercussions for Ashley, no matter what he said. I would be relieved to leave the house. Despite Kitty having been murdered in the building just a field away from me, I still preferred my dank little room to this plush overstuffed house of shiny ill-gotten gains.

  I finally fell into a fitful doze in the early hours of the morning, and was woken by Ashley holding a tray of freshly brewed lattes.

  38. THE DAWN

  EM AND ASHLEY AND I STOOD around the kitchen island, not talking, each of us deep in our own thoughts. I was longing to be off and I knew Ashley could sense it.