Reckless Beginnings

by Tina Hogan Grant

  “The hospital? Why? What happened?” Tammy needed answers. “Is she going to be okay?”

  He took a deep breath before repeating to Tammy what the police had told him. “Apparently, she was found in an alley about a week ago. She was beaten up pretty bad.”

  “Beaten up? Oh no,” Tammy shrieked.

  “Calm down, she’s going to be okay. I have to tell you, though, whoever beat her up had left her to die. It was a homeless woman that found her and called the police. She had a pretty bad concussion, some broken ribs, and bruises all over her body. At the hospital, she told the police who she was and that she had run away from the children’s home five years ago. It was the home that gave my number to the police.”

  With tears of joy flooding down her cheeks, Tammy gasped. “My god, Dad. She’s alive. I can’t believe it!” She glanced over at Matt, who was lying happily in his playpen, and smiled through her tears. “Matt, your auntie Donna is alive!” Tammy hugged the phone. “Oh, Dad, I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting for this day…to hear the news that she is still alive. With all the years that’d passed, I was beginning to think for sure she was dead, but with no leads from the police and no proof, I just couldn’t ever bring myself to believe it.”

  “I know, Tammy, I had the same thoughts.”

  “So where has she been all this time? Do the police know? Do they have the son of a bitch that beat her up and left her to die?” She couldn’t hide the fury in her voice. How could anyone be so malice to another human being? She just couldn’t fathom it. She felt the rage rush through her body. It was the same kind of rage that she continually felt with Steven. The anger and disgust felt the same.

  “That’s all I know, Tammy. I spoke to her for a little while this morning.”

  “You spoke to her? How did she sound? Did she sound okay?”

  “Surprisingly, yes, she sounded okay. A little weak and emotional of course, but who wouldn’t be after what she’s been through. She kept apologizing for running away. I told her it doesn’t matter. I’m just relieved to have her back in our lives. I’m going to fly out there at the end of the week. I bought your mother a ticket and a hotel room. We’ll see her together.”

  “Thanks for bringing Mom out, Dad.”

  “No need to thank me. She kept asking about you and Jenny though. I gave your mother the number of the hospital and she’ll give it to Jenny. Do you want it too?”

  “Yes! Yes, of course I want it. Hold on a sec. Let me go find a pen.”

  “Okay.”

  Tammy set the receiver on the floor and started hunting for a pen and paper. Matt, who seemed to have sensed the excitement, was beginning to fuss. “Hold on, sweetie, I’ll feed you in just a minute.” Tammy found a pen and notepad by her bed, grabbed it, and returned to the phone.

  “Okay, Dad, I got one. Go ahead.”

  With her hands still trembling, she carefully wrote down all the information her dad relayed to her. “Thanks, Dad. I’ll call her as soon as I’ve fed Matt and put him down. He’s starting to get fussy. I gotta go. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Tammy. Bye now.”

  Tammy quickly hung up the phone and set about attending to Matt.

  Twenty minutes later, after a good feeding and a diaper change, Matt was sleeping soundly in his playpen, which doubled up as his crib.

  Confident she would have no more interruptions, Tammy prepared herself to call Donna. Just thinking about it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. For years, she’d anticipated receiving a phone call that Donna had been found dead. Where had she’d been all this time? Why hadn’t she called anyone? It didn’t make any sense. The only way to find out was to call her. With a quick shake of her head and a deep breath, Tammy composed herself and dialed the number to the hospital.

  After two rings, a female voice came on the line. “St John’s Hospital, how may I direct your call?”

  “Yes, hi, can you put me through to room 202 please,” Tammy asked politely.

  “One moment please.”

  With a racing heartbeat and what felt like a whole swarm of butterflies darting around inside her stomach, Tammy listened to the phone ringing, waiting to hear her voice.

  “Hello.”

  The voice sounded weak and tired, but Tammy recognized it immediately. Pools of tears flooded her eyes. “Donna?”

  “Yes.”

  Unable to hold back her sobbing, Tammy choked up. “Donna, it’s Tammy.”

  “Oh my god! Tammy. I’ve missed you so much.”

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  Unable to hold it together, both girls wept over the phone, unable to speak, unable to breathe, engulfed in pure bliss at the thought they had finally found their sister.

  “Where have you been, Donna? What happened to you? I honestly thought you were dead.” Tammy had so many questions. “I’ve missed you so much.”

  For the next hour, Tammy sat on the floor with the phone glued to her ear, horrified as she listened to Donna describe the past five years of her life. She began by telling her that, when she ran away from the children’s home, she met a man who told her how beautiful she was and managed to coax her into going back to his place with him.

  Within less than a few weeks, he had her strung out on cocaine and was pimping her out as a prostitute on the streets of Boston. Because she had nowhere else to go, she became dependent on him for drugs and a place to live. He dictated her life for the next five years, working her every night till the early hours of the morning and keeping all the money she earned. Anything Donna needed, she had to get down on her knees and beg for it. Whether it was a bar of soap or a pack of cigarettes, it didn’t matter, he made her plead and pray for it. Fear consumed her morning, noon, and night. Not a day went by where she wasn’t slapped or punched across the face or beaten to the floor and kicked in the stomach. She lived with constant reminders that if she ever tried to leave, he would hunt her down and kill her. She meant nothing to nobody and wouldn’t be missed.

  The night she was found in the alley, he had come to pick up the money she’d made while standing on the street for three hours turning tricks. She’d tried to explain it had been a slow night and she’d made nothing, but he spat in her face and told her he didn’t believe her. When she tried to reason with him, he slapped her across the cheek and called her a lying piece of shit. The more she protested and swore she had no money, the more he hit her. As she fell to the ground, Donna recalled, he continued to kick her in the head and stomach until she finally passed out. The next thing she knew, she was waking up in the hospital.

  There was silence on the phone. “Tammy, are you still there?”

  “Yeah, I’m still here,” Tammy replied in a somber tone. “I just can’t believe what you’ve been through.”

  “I’m so sorry I never called any of you guys. I hope now you can see why. I just couldn’t, he would have killed me, I’m sure of it. Oh, and by the way, I didn’t tell Dad any of this. I don’t want him to know, so please don’t tell him.”

  Tammy was still having a hard time grasping Donna’s horrible story. Still in a daze, she spoke softly. “Yeah, that’s fine. I understand. You don’t have to worry. I won’t say anything. Have you talked to Mum or Jenny yet? Are you going to tell them?”

  “No, I haven’t talked to them yet but I do intend to tell them. I just don’t want Dad to know. Not yet anyway.”

  “Hey, are you going to file charges against the guy that did this to you?”

  “God, no!” Donna said without hesitation. “If I do, he’ll probably come looking for me, and he’d make sure I was dead the next time he beat me up. I did give the cops his name and address, but I won’t testify. I just want to get as far away from him as possible.” Donna hesitated for a moment. “I want to come live with you, Tammy. He’ll never find me in California. I’ll finally be safe, and more importantly, I’ll finally be with you.”

  Tammy almost dropped the phone in surprise. “You want to come live out here?�
� She paused. “With me?”

  “Yes. I can’t stay here. It would be okay, wouldn’t it?” Donna asked.

  Tammy wasn’t about to say no to her sister, especially after what she had been through. She scanned her room, wondering where Donna would sleep. The extra bed was an array of clothes, toys, and groceries. “Yes, yes, of course you can stay with me. Why wouldn’t it be okay, silly?” Tammy said with a light chuckle. “When will they release you from hospital?” Tammy needed to know how much time she had to prepare for her arrival.

  “I’m not sure. I think in about a week. Do you think Dad will pay for my ticket? He and Mom will be here in a couple of days. I can’t wait to see them, but I’m afraid to ask him for anything.”

  “Of course he will,” Tammy assured her. “I’m sure he’s not going to let you stay out there all by yourself. Not after what’s happened to you. Let me talk to him, okay?”

  “Okay…and thanks.” The line went quiet. Tammy could hear her sister crying again. “I’ve missed you, Tammy. There were so many times I wanted to call you, but I was too scared.” Donna sniffled into the phone. “He would have killed me if he found out. I’m really sorry for not calling you or the others. Can you forgive me?”

  “Of course I can. Why don’t you get some rest, and I’ll call Dad to see when we can get you out here, okay?”

  “Okay. I love you, sis.”

  “I love you too, sis. Bye, I’ll talk to you soon. And, Donna?”

  “Yes?”

  “Welcome back,” Tammy said with a smile.

  “Thanks, it’s good to be back.”

  After hanging up, Tammy held the phone in her shaking hands as if she were embracing her long-lost sister. She was unable to hold back the intense tears of joy that drenched her face. After all these years of questions, concerns, and heartbreak, she was about to see her sister again. She was alive but had been living a nightmare. Tammy glanced over at the playpen and was relieved to see Matt was still sleeping, which meant she had time to make a few more phone calls.

  After pulling herself together, Tammy called her father. He answered the phone almost right away. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Dad, it’s me again.”

  “Hey, Tammy. Did you talk to Donna?”

  “Yes, I did. Gosh, it was wonderful to hear her voice. I’m so happy she’s okay. Anyway, the reason I’m calling is, um, she wants to come live out here. She doesn’t feel safe in Boston. I can’t say I blame her. So, we figured she could come live with me.”

  “That’s a brilliant idea,” John replied, clearly elated.

  “Yeah, I think so. Anyway, Dad, is there any chance you can buy her a ticket? She has no money and I certainly can’t afford to buy one.”

  “Of course! Consider it done. I’ll let you know the details in a day or so.”

  “Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.”

  They continued to share their joys of Donna’s return for a few more minutes before saying their goodbyes and hanging up. Tammy was left with the unbelievable realization that, in about a week, she would be seeing Donna, her beloved sister, for the first time in years.

  Chapter 44

  That evening, Steven attempted to call Tammy, but she refused the collect call. It had been such an amazing day with Donna now back in her life, not to mention the anticipation of seeing her next week, so there was no way she wanted it ruined by him.

  Three days later, he called again. Tammy was rocking Matthew to sleep, but she reluctantly had the call put through. As soon as it was connected, she was deafened by Steven’s joyous squeals. “Tammy, baby, it’s me. I’m out. Come pick me up.”

  Shocked, Tammy’s body instantly became rigid. “You’re out? But you’ve only done five weeks. How is that possible?”

  “I know. I can’t believe it either. Apparently, they’re overcrowded, and I’m one of the lucky ones they let go.” He chuckled. “Anyway, just come get me, baby. I have no money for a bus, so I’m standing outside the jail and I’m freezing my ass off.”

  Tammy’s heart sank to the floor. Still fearing him, she had no choice but to give him a ride. “Okay, but I need to get Matt dressed. I’ll be there in about an hour.”

  “Okay, I can’t wait to see you. I love you,” Steven shouted down the phone. Tammy hung up without replying. She could pretend some things for the sake of her own sanity, but she couldn’t pretend to love him anymore. She would never say those words to him again.

  “Fucking great,” Tammy barked after placing Matt in his play pen. She tossed various items into his diaper bag as she continued her rant. “He’s not living here. I won’t have it! This is my place. I paid for it and he’s not going to bloody well ruin it for me again. As far as I’m concerned he can go live with his mother.” She turned to Matt. “Right, Matt?” Her son smiled and cooed at her, kicking his feet in a happy gait. His sweet innocence instantly melted her heart; he had a funny little way of unknowingly comforting her when she needed it the most. She smiled back at him, gently gathered him in her arms, and kissed his tiny forehead. “Come on, big boy, let’s get your stupid dad.”

  An hour later, she pulled up in front of the jail. Before she’d even had chance to park, she spotted Steven galloping toward her car. The street lights illuminated his scruffy wardrobe, consisting of black sweats, a stretched-out gray sweatshirt, and a pair of slip-on sandals over his sockless feet. As he approached the car, she began to fully appreciate his fresh-out-of-jail appearance. He looked awful. His hair was matted and dirty and in dire need of a good brushing. A short, scruffy black beard hid his chin, and his ever-present moustache needed a generous trim. His taut, pallid skin stretched over his prominent cheekbones; an indication of his drastic weight loss.

  As he stepped into the car, he glanced over at his son who was sleeping soundly in his car seat. He then turned to Tammy and gave her a peck on the cheek. She quickly turned her head and covered her nose as she reached for the car window handle. “God, Steven, you stink!” she yelled, winding down the window as if her life depended on it. Taking in a lungful of fresh air, she gladly welcomed the cool breeze from outside.

  “Geez, sorry, Tammy, not exactly the Ritz Carlton in there you know. Come on, let’s go home so I can take a shower.”

  Tammy pulled away from the curb with a huge smile on her face. “I have some great news,” she said.

  “Oh yeah, what’s that?” Steven asked while fidgeting with his sandals that had slipped off.

  “My sister Donna has been found. Can you believe it? She’s coming out here in three days. I’m so excited, I can’t wait!”

  “Wow! That’s awesome, Tammy. Didn’t I always tell you she was going to be okay?”

  “Yeah, you did,” Tammy agreed, avoiding eye contact, knowing what his next question was going to be.

  “Where’s she staying?”

  With her eyes fixed on the road ahead, she gripped her hands firmly on the steering wheel. “With me,” she replied, loading her voice with as much confidence as she could muster.

  “What? The place you have ain’t big enough for three people and a baby.”

  “You’re right, it’s not. Which is why I need you to stay with your mother.”

  “What? I just got out of jail for fuck’s sake! What the fuck are you talking about? Live with my mother.”

  Tammy tried to reason with him, only for the sake of not wanting to start a fight with Matt in the car. “It’ll only be for a little while. My sister has been through a lot, Steven. I just want to help her out and get her back on her feet.”

  “What about me? I’ve been through a lot, too, you know? I just got out of fucking jail!” He thought for a moment. “Wait. Are you dumping me?”

  Her immediate reaction was to yell “YES!” at the top of her voice and be rid of him once and for all. But, once again, she told him what he needed to hear in order to keep him calm. “No. I’m trying to help my sister, that’s all.”

  Steven shuffled in his seat. He really wasn’t keen on the idea of go
ing back to live with his mother. But, in reality, what was more important right now, what he really needed, was a fix. Staying with his mother would be easy money. Especially tonight, with the novelty of having her beloved son back home after the injustice of being locked up for something he didn’t do. He was exhausted and wasn’t up to hustling. His mother was a perfect alternative.

  “Fine. Take me to my mother’s. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Steven said, pretending to feel like he’d had his nose pushed out.

  Tammy wasn’t about to argue with him. Getting him to stay at his mother’s had been easier than she’d thought. Beneath her mask of anger and hatred, she was glowing with endless delight and self-satisfaction. She sped up a little bit and happily waved goodbye as she left him standing in the parking lot outside his mom’s place.

  Chapter 45

  The day Tammy had relentlessly hoped and prayed for over the last five years had finally arrived. She was pulling into the busy Terminal Six parking lot at LAX airport to pick up Donna.

  Thankfully, she had only seen Steven once since he was released from jail. He’d turned up at her apartment two days ago, using the excuse he wanted to see Matt. Tammy wasn’t surprised to see he paid no attention to him once inside the room. She noticed right away he was high, showing the usual signs of dark, sunken eyes, the smirk, and the occasional nod while sitting. She’d also caught him scouring the room. “There’s nothing of value here, Steven,” she’d warned.

  “What are you talking about?” he said defensively. “I was just checking out the place. Give me a break.”

  “Yeah, right. You’d sell the shirt off my back if you could get a good price for it.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. Hey, I’m starving, can you give me some money so I can get a bite to eat?”

  Tammy threw out a laugh. “I’m not giving you any money. Do you think I’m that bloody stupid? I have food, go make yourself a sandwich. I’m not falling for your little scheme.”

  Angered that he couldn’t coax her into giving her a few bucks, he’d said a few choice words and left, slamming the door behind him.