Forever Is Not Enough

by E. L. Todd

Mrs. Norris immediately turned her eyes on me and she sized me up. Her hand remained on Abby’s shoulder. “Who are you?”

  “Silke,” I said as I came forward.

  Mrs. Norris was still on her guard. “Arsen hasn’t given me any notification that someone else other than himself can pick up Abby. I’m sorry. I can’t let you take her.”

  I knew she was just being protective but that made me hate her more. “I can assure you, it’s totally fine.”

  “I still can’t let this happen without proper authorization,” she said calmly. “You may be the nanny but Arsen never told me to expect you.”

  The nanny? Oh hell no. “I’m Arsen’s girlfriend.”

  Now she looked at me in a completely different way. “You’re his girlfriend?”

  What was that supposed to mean? I eyed Abby because I didn’t want to say something inappropriate in front of her. Dropping F bombs and pulling hair wouldn’t set a good example. I turned back to Ms. Norris. “Yes, I’m his girlfriend.” My fists clenched at my sides.

  She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one leg. “It’s just…you aren’t what I pictured at all.”

  I held my tongue so I wouldn’t say something stupid.

  “Arsen is so…” Her eyes lightened as she spoke of him. “He has that rugged handsomeness going on and he’s so…strong. When he spoke of you I had a different image in mind.”

  At least he spoke of me. That made me feel good.

  “He was so loyal to you that I was expecting…something else.”

  Loyal? What did she mean by that? Did she try to seduce him? “Abby, wait outside.”

  Abby did as I asked without question. She slowly headed to the door and stepped out.

  “At least she listens to you.” There was a slight sneer on her lips.

  “I would think so. I’ve been a mother to her.”

  Ms. Norris didn’t back down. She didn’t seem intimidated whatsoever, probably because she knew she was a beauty queen in comparison to me. “I guess I should call Arsen and ask his permission for you to take her.”

  “Unnecessary but whatever.”

  She moved to her desk then pulled out her cell phone. Then she called him.

  What the fuck? She had his number in her cell phone?

  She stared at me as she listened to the phone ring. When Arsen answered she spoke, and her voice was haughty and sexy. “Hey, Arsen. How are you?” She spoke to him like she knew him intimately.

  My insides squirmed in pain.

  After she listened to his answer she spoke. “There’s this woman here that claims she can take Abby…I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you. I know how protective you are of your daughter.” There was a smile in her voice like she was about to giggle.

  I wanted to punch this cunt.

  “Okay,” she said in a dreamy voice. “I just wanted to make sure. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  See him tomorrow?

  She hung up. “He said you could take her.”

  “Shocking,” I said sarcastically.

  She rose from her desk then came toward me. “Well, have a good day, Sarah.”

  “It’s Silke.”

  “Whatever.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

  This bitch hated me as much as I hated her. “Back off of Arsen. He’s mine.”

  She just smiled at me. “For now.”

  She did not just go there. “If you like your face the way it is, you’ll keep your claws to yourself.”

  She released a faint and sarcastic laugh. “What are you going to do? Touch me and Abby is out of here. You would do that to an innocent girl?”’

  “You would harass an innocent man?”

  “Harass?” she asked. “Oh, he likes it. Believe me, he had a hard time turning down my offer.”

  What offer?

  “And I have a feeling he won’t turn it down a second time.”

  I didn’t need to ask for details to figure it out. “Do your worse. He’s happy with what he has.”

  “Or is he?” she challenged.

  Doubt came into my mind and I tried to hide it from my face.

  “Guys like Arsen don’t come up very often. And I’m not going to let him get away—it’s nothing personal.”

  I wanted to flip over a desk and throw it at her. But I somehow found the strength to remain calm and not do something that would land me in jail. I needed to walk away before that resolve disappeared.

  Without saying a word, I walked out. Her gaze bore into my back the entire time. It wasn’t in my nature to back down from a fight like a coward but my future wasn’t on the line. Abby’s was.

  And I loved that girl like my own daughter.

  ***

  I stayed in Arsen’s apartment with Abby until he came home. I was seething and unable to control the rage burning inside me. Abby wanted to play or go to the park but I couldn’t bring myself to participate. Anger was boiling out of my skin. All I could do was sit down and stare at the wall, trying to slow my rapidly beating heart. I wanted to destroy all of Manhattan.

  Arsen finally walked inside and immediately loosened his tie. “Sorry I’m late. I was stuck down there all day. I had to file the insurance claims, speak to the owners, and write up my employee…it was a nightmare.” He came to me and leaned down to kiss me.

  I didn’t want him touching me. I pulled away from the embrace and stood up.

  Arsen’s eyes widened like he’d been stung. He was caught off guard and unsure what to think of my actions.

  “I have to go.” I grabbed my purse and walked past him.

  “What did I do?” he blurted. “I just walked in the door and—”

  “Why don’t you ask your girlfriend, Ms. Norris?” I hissed.

  Arsen’s eyes widened again.

  I opened the door and stormed out.

  “Silke!” Arsen called after me.

  I headed down the hallway as fast as I possibly could without running. I didn’t want to look at him right now.

  Arsen chased after me then caught me by the elbow. He aggressively yanked me to his chest and held me so tightly that he was practically hurting me. “Silke, let me explain—”

  “You lied to me! You told me she didn’t hit on you again and you lied to me.”

  A guilty look stretched across his face.

  “Go fuck yourself, Arsen. You told me you would never hurt me again and you went back on your word.” I violently twisted out of his embrace and got free.

  “I never meant to hurt you.” He grabbed me again and locked me in a hold. “I didn’t tell you because I knew how you would react.”

  “It’s one thing not to tell me to avoid confrontation, but it’s another issue to lie your way out of it. I trusted you.” I got loose again.

  “Baby, just listen to me—”

  I slapped him hard across the face.

  Arsen stepped back and clenched his jaw in annoyance.

  “Don’t touch me.” I walked off and didn’t look back.

  He didn’t chase me.

  Chapter Seven

  Jared

  I was in my office at the top of the stairs when there was a knock on the door. “Hey, baby. You in there?” Her voice was perky and feminine. I didn’t recognize it but I had a feeling I should.

  “Who is it?”

  “Maxine.” She opened the door and came inside. Her long brown hair was in big curls and her make up was heavy. She wore denim shorts that were so short her ass practically hung out. Nude pumps were on her feet, and she wore a white t-shirt that showed every curve of her hourglass frame. “Who else would it be?”

  I didn’t get out of my seat to greet her. Maxine was a girl I’d fooled around with many times. We met one night when she came to my bar, and after a short conversation and a few shots she was on her back in my office. I fucked her hard and good, and it felt so amazing.

  And I was married.

  I did it again and again. Lexie never caught me with her because I wa
s good at hiding my secrets.

  Now I stared at her and felt absolutely no arousal. Guilt and pain flooded through my body. My wife was waiting at home for me and I was fucking some girl I hardly knew.

  I hated myself.

  I fucking hated myself.

  Maxine approached my chair then straddled my hips. “God, I miss you…and him.” Her hand moved to the button of my jeans. “He’s so big and thick…” She was slutty by nature. She wasn’t even drunk, just buzzed.

  “Get off me.” I tried to be nice about it since she wasn’t doing anything wrong. This was our relationship and she was doing what I already said was okay.

  “Get off you?” she asked. She tilted her head to the side. “Or do you mean get you off?” She gave me a seductive smile.

  I wasn’t even tempted. “No. Get off me.”

  Her eyes narrowed on my face.

  “I’m not like that anymore. I don’t hook up.”

  “Since when?” Her disappointment was evident.

  “A long time now.”

  “You hooked up when you were married. And now that you aren’t married you don’t?”

  I realized it didn’t make any sense. “I’m not the same guy I used to be. I’m different now.”

  “You’re a monk?”

  “Something like that…” When she didn’t move, I gently pushed her off. “I’m sorry, Maxine. We had a lot of fun but those days are over.”

  “But they don’t have to be.” She moved her hands up my chest.

  I grabbed her wrists and pulled them down. “I said no. Please respect that. If I pulled this stunt on you it would be considered harassment.”

  She stuck her tongue out at me. “Why are you so boring now?”

  I shrugged. “I guess I like being boring.”

  She rolled her eyes and stepped away. “Whatever. I’ll find someone else who can’t say no to this.” She squeezed her tits together.

  I still wasn’t interested. “I’m sure you will.”

  She put her hands on her hips and stared me down. “Seriously, what’s wrong with you? Are you gay now?”

  “No.” The question didn’t offend me. “I just don’t sleep around.”

  “You have a girlfriend?”

  “No,” I repeated. “I just don’t sleep around.” I rose to my feet then opened the door for her. “Good night, Maxine.”

  She released an irritated sigh because she wasn’t getting her way. Then she finally walked off.

  I shut the door and locked it. Then I returned to my desk and faced my computer screen. Pictures from my wedding day were scattered across it, and I clicked through them as I watched the brightness of Lexie’s eyes. She looked so happy, so in love.

  Where did it go wrong? When did I become a monster? Why did I hurt this beautiful girl who didn’t deserve to be hurt?

  Ugh. I fucking hated myself.

  ***

  I was lying on the couch and staring at the ceiling when my phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and glanced at the screen. Lexie’s name shined in my face, and my eyes narrowed.

  Why was she calling me?

  I took the call. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” She sounded happy, like her life was full of rainbows and unicorns. “How are you?”

  “Great.” No, I feel like shit and I’ll always feel like shit. “You?”

  “Good. I was just calling to see how things are going with Beatrice…”

  She called me for that? “There’s nothing going on with Beatrice. We’re just friends.”

  “And that’s it?” She sounded disappointed.

  “Yep. Just friends.”

  “Oh…”

  “What did you think was going to happen?” I asked incredulously. “She’s not looking for a relationship and I’m not looking for one either. Neither one of us hook up so the only thing we can be is friends. I know you and Conrad were hoping something would happen between us but it’s never going to happen.”

  “You don’t like her?”

  “No, I do,” I said immediately. “She’s really cool…when you get passed all her dramatic stiffness. I like hanging out with her. But there’s nothing there.”

  “At all?” she asked in surprise. “Beatrice is beautiful. I’m straight and I even know that.”

  “Well, duh. You think I’m blind?” The first time I saw Beatrice I thought she was gorgeous. She had old-fashioned classical features. She was beautiful in a breathtaking way. She had forget-me-not green eyes and silky brown hair. Her countenance was flawless, and her body was a perfect ten. I’m not gay so of course I noticed all of this. But she wasn’t in the place to date, and even if she were she would never date me. And I had nothing to offer anyone right now.

  “Then why don’t you try to start something?”

  “Like I said before, I’m not in the right place.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to tell Lexie I wasn’t over her. I didn’t want her to know I still looked at our wedding photos. I didn’t want her to know that I hated myself for fucking it up with her. It was better left unsaid. “How’s it going with Conrad?” I kept my voice enthusiastic so she wouldn’t know how much I didn’t want to hear her answer.

  “Amazing,” she said. “I don’t have anything to complain about.”

  I was happy that she was happy. But I also hated the fact she was happy. “That’s great,” I lied. “Conrad is a cool guy. Beatrice speaks highly of him.”

  “He’s one of the best guys I know.”

  I knew I wasn’t in that category. “Well, I’ll talk to you later.” I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. It was too painful.

  “Alright. Bye.”

  “Bye.” I hung up then dropped the phone on my chest. I closed my eyes and released an irritated sigh. Why did she have to call me at all? I hated listening to her voice because I missed it. Every time I thought of her I was reminded how shitty of a person I was.

  The phone rang again, and I prayed it wasn’t Lexie. If it were, I wouldn’t answer.

  I looked at the screen and saw Beatrice’s name. My eyebrow shot up because she didn’t usually call me. Whenever I saw her, it was usually me initiating it. She was quiet and withdrawn.

  I answered it. “Yo.”

  “Yo?” she asked. “What’s yo?”

  “I don’t know…hi? Get off your high horse and mingle with the lower class once in a while.”

  “You aren’t the lower class.”

  “I run a bar. You’re like the princess in the castle and I’m a stable boy.”

  “That’s an exaggeration.”

  “To you, maybe.” I rested one arm behind my head and closed my eyes. Whenever I spoke to Beatrice, I was relaxed. I was completely honest with her and she accepted me—all the good and the bad. She was a nice friend to have around. She was going through the same thing I was and it was nice not to feel alone. “How was your day?”

  “It was okay,” she said. “I had to sample a lot of wine and I got a little tipsy.”

  “Whoa…you’re actually loosening up.”

  “Don’t tease me,” she said. “I had to do it for work.”

  “I have to do it for work too. You know, we pretty much do the same thing for a living.”

  “Running a bar and running a vineyard are completely different.”

  “Eh…alcohol is still involved.”

  “I make the product and you buy it—not the same thing.”

  I rolled my eyes. “There’s Beatrice…on her high horse again.”

  She laughed, and it was one of the few times I actually heard it. “I wasn’t trying to be prissy. I was just explaining.”

  “No, you always have to be right. I get it.”

  “That’s not true,” she argued.

  “It’s definitely true.”

  “Fine,” she said. “We do the exact same thing.”

  “See?” I asked. “Isn’t it nice to just chill?”

  “Chill?” She said it awkwardly, like she didn’t
know how to pronounce the word properly.

  “I can understand yo, but you’ve never been told to chill?”

  “I guess not…”

  “B, you need to get out more.”

  “I get out plenty—and that’s more than enough.”

  “If you say so…”

  Beatrice remained quiet.

  “So, what’s up?”

  “Nothing.” She didn’t say anything else.

  “Why are you calling me?” I asked.

  She suddenly became defensive. “I don’t know…you call me.”

  I smiled. “You can call me all you want. I don’t mind. I was just wondering if there was something you wanted to do.”

  “Oh…” She relaxed slightly. “There’s this movie I want to see. Will you go with me?”

  I hated hearing the doubt in her voice. It seemed like she was fearful that I didn’t enjoy her company. If that were the case, I wouldn’t have hung out with her so many times. “What movie is it?”

  “It’s about Floyd Mayweather. I forget what it’s called…”

  “You’re into boxing?” That surprised me.

  “Yeah, I like it. The trailer looked cool.”

  “Sure, I’ll go with you. I just didn’t want to see a chick flick.”

  “No romance for me,” she blurted.

  I had a feeling I knew why. “How about I pick you up in thirty minutes?”

  “Okay,” she said.

  “I’ll see you then.”

  ***

  We left the theatre after the movie ended.

  “Did you like it?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” she said. “It was good.”

  I was surprised she would take any interest in boxing, and that made me realize there was a lot more to her than I realized before.

  “What about you?”

  “I liked it,” I answered. “I’m not a fan of his arrogance but he’s a good boxer.”

  “Well, when it comes to professional sports I don’t think their personal life and viewpoints should matter. They’re either good at what they do or they aren’t.”

  “Interesting…”

  “What?”

  “I just didn’t expect you to say something like that.”

  “Why?” She crossed her arms over her chest as she walked beside me.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “You seem like the kind of person who does care about someone personally.”