Protagonized

by Shannon Myers

  A middle-aged woman with platinum blonde hair caught my eye. “Are you and your man having a fight?”

  I turned around and looked behind me. “Me?”

  “Yes, you. Silly girl.” She slipped her paperback into her oversized purse and came over to sit next to me. “So, tell me, how bad is it?”

  I frowned while zipping my backpack shut. “How bad is what?”

  She glanced around, presumably for Jake, before leaning in to whisper conspiratorially, “The fight between you and your husband.”

  The heavy scent of booze nearly knocked me back.

  I paste a polite smile on my face. “Oh, he’s not my husband—”

  “Fine. Boyfriend. Fiancé. Whatever. Look,” she barked out, running a hand down her tracksuit. “You might think I’m just another attractive woman, trying to butt into someone else’s business, but you’re wrong.”

  I hadn’t thought that.

  Not at all.

  “Okay?” I answered weakly before sitting back down.

  “I have quite the knack for helping couples in need. I couldn’t help but overhear what sounded like a lover’s spat and I’m here to offer my services.”

  I looked up at the screen and retrieved my boarding pass from my purse. “Oh, well, as much as I would love to do that, it’s my turn to board. Nice to meet you…”

  “Emma,” she beamed. “And what a lucky coincidence, it’s my turn to board too.”

  I gave one last look around the gate, suddenly desperate to find Jake. “I just need to find—”

  She swatted the air between us. “No. You are an independent woman who does not need a man to board a plane. He knows where you are.”

  I quashed down the urge to laugh hysterically and joined the line to board. The flight attendant came over the loudspeaker to give details for the flight, but Emma managed to drown out most of what he was saying.

  As we inched toward the jetway, I heard about couples who were much worse off than me and ‘my chap.’ Couples that had inexplicably given this woman money and their trust to fix their relationships.

  “Now, Joe had just gotten caught up in making the money and then he was done. This left Valerie to raise the kids, run the household, the works. Now, can you imagine what happened when their kids graduated?”

  I shook my head politely and handed the gate agent my ticket, willing Jake to come back and put me out of my misery.

  She latched onto my arm like we were old friends. “Well, I’ll tell you. Splitsville. Just like I’d predicted four years before. By then, it was too late to save either of them. That’s why it’s so lucky for you that I was sitting where I was.”

  “Mmm hmm…” I made eye contact with the flight attendant and raised my eyebrows.

  Help me.

  Obviously, he wasn’t fluent in the subtle art of eye speak. Instead of, “Ladies, we have assigned seats for this flight and you two cannot sit together,” I got, “Welcome aboard, feel free to sit anywhere there’s an open seat.”

  I ground my molars together. “Thank you.”

  I navigated the narrow row with Emma right on my heels, still rambling on about the miracles she’d worked.

  It would’ve been helpful had my horoscope mentioned her showing up. I would’ve hidden in the bathroom until they made the last call announcement.

  Emma herded me into a row with two empty seats. An older man looked up from his newspaper and nodded at the two of us.

  I glanced over the seats and past the line of people, wishing that Jake would’ve given me a way to contact him. “I’m sorry,” I apologized to Emma. “I’m just going to wait for my chap.”

  Oh god.

  Now, I was talking like her.

  “Please find a seat and stow your carry-on in the overhead bin. We’ve got a full flight today. Don’t block the aisles,” chirped a peppy flight attendant as she moved past us.

  Sweat trickled down my spine and the ceiling was suddenly too low for my liking. People grumbled as they moved around me, but I stood like a deer in the headlights, governed by indecision.

  “Sit down,” Emma urged. “Let him wonder where you are for a change.”

  Someone’s carryon caught me in the back of the head, forcing me back toward Newspaper Ned. Emma took the aisle seat, and I’d officially reached the threshold of hell.

  I kept straining to see over the seats, waiting for the grumpy gargantuan to make an appearance.

  And he did.

  Finally.

  He scanned each row before landing on mine. When he saw me, he relaxed his shoulders and gave a small wave before sitting down in a seat near the front.

  No last minute white knight rescue for me.

  The universe felt that Jake and I needed a time out. And, after last night, I was inclined to agree.

  Maybe I was supposed to give Emma a chance. She counseled couples of all sorts, so she probably had loads of insight into what to do if one found oneself falling for a fictional character.

  Instead of judging her, I needed to remember that we were all beings of light and goodness with an important role to play.

  I inhaled deeply and centered myself. I was not going to think about Jake or last night. Instead, I was going to open myself up to everything the universe had to offer.

  Including my new friend.

  I took a swig from my bottled water and tried to focus in on what Emma was saying.

  “…So, that brings me to you and your man. And it sounds like the same type of situation. Am I right?”

  I nodded wisely. “Absolutely. You really have a talent for this.”

  Ned began chuckling from behind the newspaper. The woman in the row in front of us turned and peered at me through the crack between the seats.

  Like a sideshow act.

  So, I might’ve missed the first part of her spiel. I was just going to nod and agree until I sorted it all out. Then, I’d bare my soul and she’d recognize that we were kindred spirits.

  We’d probably end up becoming the best of friends; friends who took expensive plane rides and talked about making a difference in the world.

  Emma leaned in, exhaling the remnants of whiskey my way. “When did your fear begin?”

  Perhaps agreeing with whatever she said had not been the right plan, but it was too late to admit that now. “Um, I guess back when I was a kid. The thought of it just weirded me out. Then, as I got older, it seemed like something I wanted, but I just couldn’t fit it in.”

  The chuckles grew louder until Ned’s paper was practically vibrating. He was probably reading the comics and feeling jealous that he hadn’t chosen the middle seat.

  “Well.” She dropped her voice to a whisper, yet managed to sound louder than before. “It’s normal to feel an aversion to it. Did you tell anyone of your fear?”

  I took another drink of water. “Yeah. I told my parents and my dad said I better make room for it or else I was going to end up dying alone with my cat.”

  The woman from the seat in front of us was making no attempt to hide the fact that she was listening in and I frowned at her.

  Emma choked on the gin and tonic she’d ordered right after takeoff and rasped, “You—your father really told you that?”

  I shrugged. “Well, yeah. He said if I refused to let a man in then I was going to spend my life alone. So, you can see my dilemma here.”

  There we go.

  Back on track.

  Maybe now was the time to mention that Jake was fictional. Really get into the meat of the story.

  “What it is about the act itself that scares you?”

  I thought about the previous night and how close I’d come to letting my guard down. “I don’t know exactly. I know it’s going to hurt.”

  There were more snickers from behind the paper and I rolled my eyes at Emma as if to say, ‘Can you believe this clown?’

  She urged me to continue.

  I took a deep breath. “The hurt isn’t what scares me; it’s the destruction that’s
going to be left behind once it’s over. Like how am I supposed to put the pieces back together?”

  Ned rocked in his chair, wheezing with laughter like an old man.

  I pulled the paper away from his face. “I’m sorry, but you are being incredibly rude right now. My friend and I are trying to have a serious conversation and your laughter is very distracting.”

  Tears ran from the corner of his eyes and he shook his head before wheezing again. “Just… just give me a—”

  I folded my arms across my chest and watched as his face turned crimson. “Love is not a laughing matter.”

  “Love?” he forced out. “Who said anything about love?”

  I turned to Emma. “Tell him what we’re talking about, so he’ll go back to his boring old paper.”

  Emma drained the gin and tonic and slurred, “Anal.”

  I froze in horror as the people in the rows around me began laughing. This was worse than the recurring nightmare I had of appearing on the Today show in my underwear.

  I knew two things then. One, the universe had a sick sense of humor. And two, I was going to be completely drunk by the time this plane landed.

  Jake stood waiting for me as I race-walked off the jetway. I looped my arm through his and began dragging him toward baggage claim.

  “Whoa. Slow down. What’s the rush?” he protested as I pulled him past fast food kiosks and overpriced gift shops.

  “I really need to get back to the story, Jake,” I snapped. “Or did you forget why we’re all here?”

  He pointed at my backpack. “Don’t you have your laptop? Why weren’t you writing during the flight?”

  I glanced behind me to see if Emma was following, but there was no sign of her. There were, unfortunately, several faces that matched the ones I’d seen peering over seats at me though.

  “We have to hurry and get back to the apartment. Bootsy needs me.”

  He let me keep my death grip on him, but slowed our pace. “Have you been drinking?”

  “Yes,” I forced through clenched teeth. “That is really the least of our problems right now. Where the hell did you go?”

  “I went to grab food. Just like I said. The line was long. End of story.”

  We stepped onto the escalator down to baggage claim and I noticed several people down below had their cell phones trained on my face.

  Jake frowned. “Are they taking your picture?”

  A nervous burst of giggles escaped, and I grinned until my cheeks ached. “No. I mean, maybe. I mentioned that I write books back on the plane and you know how people are; everyone wants proof they met a celebrity. Hurry, our bags are waiting.”

  Our bags were not waiting. The little siren was blaring above the carousel, but it remained empty. I had to get us out of here before Emma showed up, demanding to meet my chap.

  She’d somehow managed to get drunker on the long flight and let it slip that she wasn’t really a therapist. At least not from a legal standpoint. Apparently showing up to class with a flask was frowned upon.

  The fact that I was beyond humiliated escaped her notice as she rambled through the remainder of the flight about how she was a self-taught sex therapist with a completely unique approach.

  I had to keep her away from Jake. I kept my death grip on him, trying to make myself invisible.

  Proving that the universe didn’t give you what you wanted, but what you needed, our bags were the first two off the conveyer belt and I lunged for them without hesitation.

  “Okay, we got them. Let’s go.”

  Jake trailed behind me toward the exit. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re acting really strange.”

  “Hellooooo,” a voice called from the escalator. “Wait up!”

  I dropped my shoulders in dismay and turned to see Emma.

  “Hayden? Do you know her?”

  She began stepping around other travelers to get down to us faster and I didn’t even think. I just took off for the sliding glass doors.

  “Freedom!” I exclaimed as I reached the other side and continued jogging down the narrow sidewalk.

  “Hayden!” Jake yelled from behind me. “Hayden, slow down!”

  I wasn’t stopping for anything. I was going to go home and forget that the flight had even happened. No one would ever know, and it wasn’t as if I’d given Emma any of my information, so she had no way of contacting me.

  Not only that, but I was going to forget what happened in the hotel room. When we got back to my apartment, I’d have Aaris set me up with someone who was both nice and real. I’d be back to my old self in no time.

  The heel of my boot landed awkwardly against the pavement and I sucked in a lungful of cold air as the force propelled me off the sidewalk and onto my right ankle. There was a pop, quickly followed by a burst of pain.

  I scrambled onto my knees and stood up, but my right ankle gave out again almost immediately. So, I did the completely rational thing—I began hopping on my left foot while tugging my suitcase along behind me.

  Jake dropped his duffel bag and ran over. “Damn it, Hayden! Why were you running in heels?”

  My ankle protested every bounce and I sank down onto the sidewalk again with a soft moan.

  I rocked back and forth, holding my foot in my hand like an injured dove. “They’re not heels. They’re booties. The perfect fall accessory,” I panted through the waves of pain.

  He sighed and shook his head. “You’re out of your goddamn mind, you know that?”

  I looked over his shoulder at the exit, praying that Emma hadn’t gotten her bag yet. “We gotta go. Like now.”

  New plan. I’d go home… sleep off the alcohol… and then vow to never remember this flight.

  Jake pulled the bootie off and began digging into the tender skin. I yelped and the corners of his mouth turned down. “Yeah, we’re going…to the hospital.”

  “No,” I argued, still keeping an eye on the door. “I mean, yes, we have to go right now. But, we can’t go to the hospital. I don’t have insurance.”

  He took his bag and slipped the strap over his head like a cross-body purse before lifting me into his arms. “Alright. We’ll get you home and get it elevated.

  When I saw the top of Emma’s head moving toward us, I began scrambling to gather all of my things. “We have to go right now… before it gets worse.”

  “That’s not really how it works. It’s going to get worse, whether we stay here or not.” Jake adjusted the backpack straps on my shoulders. “Do you think you can climb onto my back? It’ll be a hell of a lot easier to carry you to the truck.”

  I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, trying not to choke him as he lifted me off the cold ground.

  I held the bootie in my hand solemnly. He managed the rest of our baggage and carried me piggyback toward the parking garage.

  By the time we made it back to my apartment, my ankle had swollen to the point that my sock was beginning to cut off circulation. I reluctantly peeled it off while Jake carried our things up before coming back for me.

  Purple and blue bruises spread up toward my shin. Had he not gotten my bootie off when he had, I was convinced it would’ve become permanently attached to my foot.

  He used a fireman’s carry to get me up the stairs and the full weight of my injury hit me. How was I going to get up and down the stairs with a busted foot?

  This was all Emma’s fault.

  Jake placed me gently on the couch next to Bootsy and her beloved iPad before going into the kitchen. A few seconds later, Max and Aaris walked in.

  She winced when she saw my foot. “Oh, sweetie. How did that happen?”

  Max assessed the damage from across the room. “Supination.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I grumbled, while simultaneously trying to stretch my calf muscle. Everything from the knee down ached and I regretted the fact that I wasn’t in a hospital bed being pumped full of intravenous drugs.

  Jake came back in with an ice pack and a bottle of water. He retrieved a bottle
of ibuprofen from his pocket and tapped three into my hand. “Go ahead and take these. Max is going to look at you.”

  I frowned. “Max? Why? So, he can tell me that this wouldn’t have happened if I’d only been wearing the proper footwear?”

  Max walked over and scratched Bootsy under the chin before addressing me. “No. I was a combat medic in the Army. I’m gonna get you fixed up.”

  “Now, we’re just gonna dab the brush at the canvas like this and what the heck, we’ll add a little tree right back in here…”

  I realized that Bootsy hadn’t moved an inch since I’d come in. “What is she watching?”

  Aaris pointed at Max. “It was all his idea. I told him that you preferred bird documentaries, but he said she wanted to expand her horizons while you were away.”

  Jake wrapped the ice pack around my ankle, and I sucked in a breath as I leaned over to see the tablet. “Bob Ross, Max? You got her hooked on Bob Ross while I was gone?”

  He shrugged and knelt next to my ankle. “She was knocking shit over in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep, so I introduced her to Bob and she’s much calmer now.”

  “She’s a cat. That’s what cats do. They hunt at night.”

  His fingers moved over my swollen skin much like Jake’s had and I winced before reflexively pulling my foot back.

  Jake caught it and gently lowered it back into Max’s hand. “You’ve got to let him look at it. Hey.” He sat down next to me, earning him a dirty look from Bootsy. “Hey, look at me.”

  I bit down on my lip to keep it from trembling. “Aaris, could you grab my purse?” I widened my eyes and tilted my head and she nodded in understanding.

  “Here we are.” She popped a gummy into my mouth like I was a small child. I put one hand on my abdomen and the other on my chest and inhaled deeply through my nose, letting my tummy push my hand out. I exhaled through pursed lips and then repeated until I felt in control of my emotions again.

  Max waited until I nodded before turning my foot over in his hands. I waited for a comment from Jake, either about the weed or the belly breathing, but he just took the hand that was on my abdomen in his and squeezed. “Hayden. Look at me.”

  I turned my head against the cushion and faced him.