Naked or Dead

by Murphy, A. E.

  “Lilith, loca!”

  I freeze at the sound of an unfamiliar voice coming my way.

  “I knew that was you. Did you change your hair?” the darker-skinned boy asks when I turn to face him. I don’t know who this is, nor do I care.

  I’m not here for him.

  “You’re mistaken, I’m not Lilith.”

  He looks confused, his lips form an O and then something takes hold in his eyes, a realization occurs. “You’re her twin, right?”

  I nod and look past him for Nokosi. “Is her boyfriend with you?”

  “Yeah, he’s just filling up the gas tanks.”

  I steady myself on my walking stick, it hurts the palm of my hand but if I don’t use it, I fall, and I can’t fall. I feel so ill. But not to the extent that I can’t be here to do this. To save my sister from these men.

  “I’d like to meet him.”

  “No worries, I can introduce you.”

  “But…” I hold his wrist and bite on my lip. “Please don’t tell her you saw me. She’ll say I’m meddling, and she’ll worry what with me being out when I’m not supposed to be.” He looks unsure about my request, so I continue, “I never get to do much. It’d mean a lot to a dying girl.”

  “Fuck me, you’re as savage as she is. Pulling the dying-girl card… how do I say no to that?”

  I smile broadly. “You don’t.”

  Laughing he moves to the door and holds it open for me, taking my arm as I hobble outside, back into the cold and drizzle. Although the drizzle doesn’t touch me thanks to the roof overhead.

  “Nok!” the man yells to get his attention; he then looks at me. “I’m Joseph, by the way, Nok’s best bud and funniest guy this side of Oregon.”

  “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Willow.”

  Nok, the man I loathe, the man taking my sister from me is gorgeous, of course he is, they usually always are. His hair is thick, long, and different to any guys’ I’ve ever seen, it’s no wonder she fell for him. He’s got muscles for days and lips so thick I bet he gives amazing head.

  He looks surprised to see me. “You’re not Lilith.”

  “Was it the hair that gave you away?” I ask playfully, twirling a strand of my brown mop around my finger. “Or the cane?”

  “Neither,” he mutters, frowning as he extends his hand. “You’re just different.”

  “In a good way I hope.”

  He doesn’t reply, he doesn’t feel safe. I like that. Means his instincts are sharp. Means he’ll be more difficult to get rid of. I like a challenge.

  “It’s funny that I bumped into you, actually. I keep saying to my sister that I want to meet the guy who is taking up all her time at the moment.” I tuck my hair behind my ears. “But I can see why. She’s got excellent taste.”

  He smiles an arrogant, charming grin that makes me want to wrap the pump around his throat and squeeze until his eyes pop out of his head. “I agree.”

  Ugh. Cringe. How can she like this?

  “How are you feeling now?”

  “A lot better today,” I say as he looks around for his girlfriend. “She’s not here. I kind of snuck out.”

  “Naughty.” He’s smirking again. “Why?”

  I pull a Hershey’s bar out of my pocket. “I wanted a snack.”

  “And Lilith wouldn’t take you?”

  “She got into a fight with Mom and took my sleeping pills again. She does that when shit gets anxious.”

  I’m surprised of the flicker of concern that shines through his eyes.

  Joseph snorts. “Lilith gets anxious?”

  “Only when Mom’s involved,” I mutter, crinkling my nose.

  “Go pay for the gas,” Nok tells Joseph who nods and does as he’s told like a little puppy. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” He tucks his hands into his pockets. His biceps flex.

  “Likewise, I’d like to say I’ve heard a lot about you, but Lilith keeps you to herself.” I look him up and down, imagining him naked to really try and see what she likes about this guy. He’s everything we bitch about in a man.

  Again, he doesn’t speak. She did say he’s a man of few words. Another thing she must really like about him.

  “How did you get here?” he asks after a moment, looking around the space.

  “Dad’s car,” I point to the Prius parked across from the gas station.

  “Your dad?” He looks perplexed. “Isn’t he dead?”

  “Yes, but his car didn’t get buried with him.” I laugh pleasantly, hoping it doesn’t sound as forced as it feels, it’s nice to joke a little about such a tragedy. It takes the edge off the grief we feel. “Well, anyway. I should probably get back. It was nice meeting you.”

  “Likewise.”

  “Umm,” I place my hand on his arm but release it when a coughing fit takes over my body. It’s a side-effect of the medication I’m on. My immune system is shot so I have a constant chest infection. “Sorry.” He rubs my back, his eyes softer and sad now.

  When I return to the more composed state I was in before my lung almost shot out of my mouth, I give him a mournful and imploring look. “Please don’t tell Lilith you saw me.”

  “I don’t feel comfo—”

  “Please,” I beg, sticking out my lower lip. “If she knew I snuck out she’d be so fucking mad.”

  “Well, if it’s dangerous.”

  “Of course it’s dangerous.” I let my hands rise and fall. “Look at me. I’m a broken fucking mess. I’m dying. I don’t know how much time I have and she’s intent on keeping me for as long as possible.” I step closer and put my hand on his chest. “Please don’t tell her I was here.”

  “Fine,” he concedes, but he still looks unhappy about it. “Maybe now you can hang out with both of us together? Your sister said you don’t like to go out.”

  “That, mixed with how sick I usually am, I don’t normally get the chance.” I start walking to my car and he follows suit. “It really was so nice to meet you, Nok.”

  “You too.” He opens my car door for me and takes my cane as I lower myself inside.

  I wind down the window after closing the door and smile up at him. “She won’t let us hang out.”

  “What?” he looks confused.

  “She won’t let us hang out,” I half lie, “that’s mostly the reason why I don’t come.”

  He looks even more confused. “Why not?”

  I shrug my shoulders and feign sadness. “I think she’s embarrassed by me.”

  “Or me.”

  I drag my eyes down his body again, provocatively. He notices and shifts, feeling self-conscious no doubt. “Remember your promise, Nokosi. It was lovely to meet you.”

  I drive away, leaving him in my rearview mirror, and head home. Sneaking in as quietly as a mouse and climbing into bed without brushing my teeth. I really don’t want to wake her.

  * * *

  Lilith

  “You’re so quiet today,” I comment, looking at Nokosi who is on the opposite side of the bank. We’re spear fishing or practicing at least. Both of us have carved new spears, these two better than the last. It’s a lot harder than it looks.

  His father wants to teach me how to grill a fish the right way but of course I have to catch it first. Dasan is so lovely and is just as charming as his sons, but he’s all about those life lessons. It says something when you prefer a parent that’s not your own.

  “I’m concentrating,” he replies, looking up at me for a moment. “You should be concentrating.”

  I lunge downwards and spear a fish through its body. I’d been concentrating just fine. “I was just waiting for you to go first so you didn’t feel emasculated.”

  He shakes his head, looking aghast. “How do you do that?”

  “I used to play hook a duck a lot. I don’t know if that’s related.”

  “Those are not the same at all.” I love it when he smiles at me like this. I’ve done that. I’ve made him this way. I make him happy.

  “Hurry up and s
pear one so you can fuck me up a tree and we can go to your father’s and pretend I’m a nice and stable female that his son might one day marry.”

  Nokosi chuckles and lunges but misses. “What makes you think I won’t marry you anyway?”

  “I’m not the marrying type.” My phone vibrates. Another unknown caller. I’ve been getting those a lot recently. I ignore it again and toss my phone onto our little pile of discarded clothing. “I’m the fuck-for-a-while-and-break-your-heart type.”

  “You couldn’t break my heart if you tried.”

  I feel a jolt of pain, pain that’s unfamiliar and unique. I can’t place it and I want to deny it and what it might mean. “Why? Because you could never love me?”

  He looks at me as though I’m crazy. “Uh, no. Because I’ll never let you leave me.”

  “So… you think you might fall in love with me?” I really wish a powerful and treacherous stream wasn’t separating us right now because letting him see all of me while we talk about something so important is making me feel open and vulnerable.

  “I think I’d be stupid and broken if I didn’t.”

  I smile down at my fish, unable to contain my glee. “Me too.”

  He lunges for another fish and this time gets it through its tail. I almost feel bad for it when he has to bash it against a rock to finish the job. But he finally has a fish.

  “Well done,” I praise and drop mine into the bucket. He throws his over and I move the bucket in its path to catch that one too. We walk along opposite sides of the stream, headed for the shack and the rocks that create a slippery path across. “So… I was thinking about staying.”

  His eyes are guarded, as though daring not to hope. “You think it’s possible?”

  “Well, I just thought… and it’s just a crazy fucking thought… but…” I chew on my lip. “I want to stay with you. What if we do the adult thing? There are small cabins, trailers, and even houses for sale on the res. Maybe we can look into getting one together?” Before he can shoot me down, I add, “I know we hardly fucking know each other, but I’m all about the adventure and—”

  “What about your sister?”

  Right. My sister. “I don’t know yet. I’d have to speak to her.” I almost let myself be hopeful and human for a moment then. I almost forgot about all the things I’ve done and who I am.

  How long until the police catch up to us? How long until I’m thrown into a maximum-security prison? Could Nok ever love me if he knew what I’d helped my sister do?

  But what if they never figure it out and my sister dies of her illness and I’m left alone for the rest of my life? Do I deserve it? Sure, I had nothing to do with it when she was doing what she felt she must to innocents for kicks, but I was an accomplice after that.

  What do people get in prison for being an accomplice to that these days?

  “I don’t want to freak you out, so act natural,” Nok says suddenly, his fake smile in place but his tone deep and dark. “Remember you said that there was a man watching us before?”

  I nod once, also smiling.

  “He’s standing twenty feet away, watching us. Don’t look. Not until I can get across and protect you.”

  Of course I look. I couldn’t stop myself if I tried and sure enough there he is, the exact same guy as before, standing in the shadows, watching us from under a hood. My heart starts to race. A cold chill tickles my spine, putting me on the alert.

  I can hardly breathe.

  I drop the bucket and hold the spear like a weapon.

  “For fuck’s sake, you just couldn’t wait, could you?” Nok hisses and I hear him start to run.

  “Who the hell are you? You creepy bastard!” I yell, taking a step towards the faceless shadow man. “Come out before I come to you with my sharp pointy thing.”

  The man smiles, an evil grin that flashes a sharp white tooth and makes his eyes look as if they’re glowing red.

  My breath catches in my throat and fear unlike any I’ve felt before courses through me. But I’ve made fear my bitch in the past and this time is no different.

  I stand my ground, staring him out, keeping my eyes on him so he doesn’t evade me.

  “I swear I’m going to jab you through your fucking eye, you pervert,” I bellow and it echoes all around.

  He raises his hand and wags his long, pasty-looking fingers. I glance at Nok when I hear his foot slip off a rock and splash in the water. He rights himself, but when I turn back, the man is gone.

  FUCK!

  Where has he gone?

  Nok finally joins me, his own spear raised.

  “Where’d he go?” he asks, panting.

  I shrug and venture deeper into the trees, cautious of my surroundings. I’m not scared anymore, not really, I’m just pissed off. Unless he has a gun, he’s got no chance against us both with long sharp spears.

  How the hell did he vanish so quickly?

  “I bet he just comes to watch us fuck,” Nok suggests on a whisper. “I don’t want to turn my back to the trees now. I feel like we’re being watched.”

  “How often does he watch us to know when we’re coming out here is what I want to know?” I sigh and lower my spear a fraction. We kick the ground around where the man was standing. “No footprints. Who the hell is this prick?” I cup a hand to my face. “You fucking scaredy-cat pussy. Run while you still can, asshole.”

  We look around, listening to the wind in the leaves, the running stream, the cries of animals in the distance. I don’t pick up a footstep or a cough, or anything for that matter. Nothing remotely human.

  “We should probably stop coming out here for a while.” Nok takes hold of my bicep and guides me back to our things. I constantly look over my shoulder and so does he. “Does he still remind you of your dad?”

  I shake my head. “Not even a little bit.”

  “Good.” He kicks a rock across the ground. “Now we can’t have tree sex.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll give you a blowy in the bathroom after dinner.”

  Hooking his arm around my shoulder he admits, “And this is why I would be stupid not to love you.”

  “I feel very privileged for a white chick.”

  “As you should.”

  We head to his house, mindful of our surroundings and lock the door to his house behind us. Nok’s dad greets us and kisses both of my cheeks. He tells me how good it is to see me, and I return the sentiment. But then he and Nok discuss the man that Nok admits he thought was a figment of his imagination and to say the mood darkens would be an understatement.

  “A flash of a tooth you said?” he asks me, frowning with thought.

  I nod. “Like the light hit the point just right. He was far away but not so far that I couldn’t see it.”

  Nok snorts so I punch him in the arm.

  “Don’t ridicule your friends, son,” Dasan chastises. “They’ll stop confiding in you.”

  “Oh heaven forbid she never tells me about pointy-toothed, disappearing men again,” he responds with a heavy amount of sarcasm.

  I punch him again and his dad chuckles.

  Then I ask, “You were going to tell us something?”

  He smiles deviously. “It might keep you up at night.”

  “I doubt it.” I sit at the small round table after washing my hands and watch Dasan season another fish and double-coat mine.

  I’m guessing I didn’t do as good a job as I thought.

  “Well, we have a scary story about these woods.”

  “Daaaad,” Nokosi whines, crossing his eyes at me. He looks so young and boyish in this moment. “It wasn’t like that. This was a real guy. I saw him myself.”

  “What scary story?” I ask with excitement and unwavering focus.

  “Well, it goes something like…” He clears his throat and turns to give us his full attention. “In the depth of the brush and the thick of the trees, a demon of hellfire will come if one needs. He lives in the shadows, he hides from the sun, looking and longing and waiting f
or one. One who is desperate, one who’s not sane, one to die so they can live again, but it comes at a price, your life will be lost, your soul will be owned by the devil his cost. But then you’ll have riches and all his gifts, a life of grandeur, but with shackled wrists. You will belong to the demon, you will belong to the fire, you will belong to the devil, now a slave to your sire.”

  I laugh loudly and give him a round of applause, laughing even louder still when he bows. I then glare at Nok. “How have you never told me that epic story before?”

  “Because it’s stupid. It’s been said for years among our people and nobody has ever seen this demon.”

  “Perhaps because nobody needed him,” Dasan suggests, a mystical flair to his voice. “Until now.”

  “Dasan, you rock,” I say, grinning and look at my ringing phone again. I ignore it, telling myself if they call again, I’ll answer it. I just don’t want to take any chances. What if it’s to trace me? Maybe I should change my number.

  Damn I’m paranoid, rightfully so.

  “Because of this man in the forest, though, I would like it if I could ride with you to your home. To make sure you both get there safe and my son returns to me in one piece.”

  “Trust me, Dasan,” I say, grinning. “I’m the scariest thing on the reservation these days.”

  “And I do not doubt it.” He cups my chin lovingly, like a father would a child, and returns to his duties. “Come. Now we must cook.” He hands me a metal rack. “Oil it for me, please, otherwise the fish will stick.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I like this girl. You should bring her more often. She likes to listen to me.”

  “Dad, I promise that is something she will tire of soon.”

  I punch his arm again, making him hiss and lunge for me until I wipe my oily hands on his face and he storms away from us to wash it in the bathroom.

  “You are always welcome here,” Dasan says around his laughter.

  Nash walks in through the front door. “What’s all the noise about? What have I missed?”

  Willow

  Willow: I need a favor.