Longing For His kiss

by Sherri Hayes

  “Everything all right?” he asked as they approached the door.

  Grace didn’t get a chance to answer before the door swung open, revealing her sister. “I thought I heard voices.”

  After Alexander and Grace removed their coats and said a brief hello to Taylor as she ran past them, the three headed into the kitchen where Caroline was taking the turkey out of the oven. She looked up when they strolled into the room. Her gaze rested on Alexander for a long moment, allowing herself to get a good look at him.

  Grace placed what she was carrying on the counter, and then took the dishes Alexander had and set them down as well. “Mom, this is Alexander Greco. Alexander, my mom . . . Caroline.”

  Alexander didn’t miss a beat. He stepped forward and extended his hand. “It’s great to finally meet you, ma’am.”

  Her mom stared at his offering for a long moment before wiping her hands and accepting his handshake. “Grace says you served with her husband, Kurt.”

  “Yes, ma’am. We were both deployed at the same base overseas.”

  Before things could get awkward, Grace decided to act. “Does anything need to be done?”

  Caroline picked up a pair of potholders and dumped a pot full of boiling water and cubed potatoes into a strainer she had sitting in the sink. “Just take what you brought to the table. Once I get these potatoes mashed and the turkey carved, we’ll be ready to dig in.”

  Less than fifteen minutes later, they were all seated around the table, filling their plates with food. Even though they were at her mother’s, Grace waited for Alexander to start eating before she took her first bite. The simple gesture brought some balance, which turned out to be a very good thing since the questions from her mother started a few minutes later.

  “How long were you in the Army?”

  Alexander finished chewing and swallowing his food before he answered Caroline. “Ten years.”

  “Did you like it?” she asked. Grace had no idea where her mother was going with this line of questioning, but considering the alternative, she’d take it.

  “I enjoyed the discipline, the order, knowing what was expected of me and of the men I served with.”

  Caroline grabbed a roll from the basket. “Grace said you were hurt.”

  “Yes, ma’am. My leg was crushed in an explosion.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  He shrugged. “I was lucky.”

  They all heard what he didn’t say, that Kurt hadn’t been so fortunate. What her family didn’t realize was that the incident that had caused Alexander’s injury was the same one that had killed Kurt. It wasn’t something she wanted to get into. Especially not at the dining room table.

  After several moments of silence, her mother switched to another line of questioning. “Do you plan on staying in St. Louis?” Grace cringed a little. It was almost as bad as her mother asking what Alexander’s intentions were.

  “Yes. I’m in the process of getting my medical license here in Missouri, but for the time being I’m working as a consultant.” It was his way of saying he was putting down roots. Nothing he said was news to her, but for some reason hearing him tell her mother made it sound more definite. As if he really was declaring his intentions.

  Her mother kept pressing. “Grace has been through a lot this last year.”

  He met her mother’s gaze across the table. “Yes, she has.”

  It was as if something unspoken passed between them. Grace waited for her mother to comment, but she only nodded then went back to her food and a new line of questioning. “Do you have any hobbies?”

  The first thing that popped into Grace’s mind was the feel of his hand on her backside as he’d spanked her the night before. Of course, Alexander didn’t mention BDSM. He chose something more mundane to share with her mother. “I enjoy reading when I have the time.”

  “Grace likes to read, too.” Gabby inserted herself into the conversation for the first time.

  Alexander looked at Grace with a knowing glint in his eye. “Yes. She’s shared some of them with me.”

  “Wow. You must be special. Every time I ask her about her books she just tells me I wouldn’t like them.” Her sister narrowed her eyes at her in mock irritation.

  Grace stared at her plate, avoiding eye contact.

  “Are you an avid reader yourself?” Alexander asked Gabby, redirecting the attention away from Grace. She wanted to kiss him.

  “I’ve been known to pick up a romance novel when I have some downtime.” As if on cue, Taylor dropped her fork on the floor. Gabby scooted her chair away from the table so she could pick it up. She placed the dirty spoon out of Taylor’s reach, and then took her own spoon and handed it to her daughter. “But I don’t have much of that these days.”

  Alexander nodded. “Children do tend to require a lot of one’s attention, but in the end it’s worth it. Time is one thing you can’t replace.”

  Caroline took the opening and ran with it. “Do you have any children, Alexander?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Ever been married?”

  “Mom!” Grace felt her cheeks heat in embarrassment. She was thirty-four years old. She didn’t need her mother vetting her boyfriends anymore.

  “It’s a perfectly reasonable question,” her mother insisted.

  Alexander didn’t seem fazed. “No. I haven’t been married. I do, however, hope to remedy that someday soon.”

  Grace turned to look at him. She could only imagine the look on her face. Was he talking about her? Surely, he couldn’t be—they’d only been seeing each other for a few weeks. Granted, they’d been talking and going out to dinner together for longer, but still.

  It was too soon.

  The conversation continued, although Grace wasn’t really paying attention to what was being said. All she could think about was how casually he’d said he hoped to get married soon. He wasn’t seeing anyone else. That was part of their agreement. So if he wasn’t talking about her, then who?

  “Grace, do you want any pie?”

  She blinked and looked up at where her mother was standing not two feet away from her, plate in her hand. “What?”

  Caroline raised her eyebrows, clearly wondering where her daughter’s mind had gone. “I asked if you wanted pie. Gabby’s slicing it up.”

  “Oh. Yes, please.”

  Her mother walked away chuckling and shaking her head. Grace was sure her mother thought she was daydreaming or something. It was easier to let her mother think that than tell her that what Alexander said had her head spinning. Was she ready to get married again?

  ***

  Alexander had been watching Grace for a while, but as soon as they were alone he placed a hand on her leg, drawing her attention. “Everything okay?”

  She nodded, but he didn’t miss how she pressed her lips together, a sure sign she was nervous about something. He didn’t get a chance to examine it any further, though, since her mom and sister reentered the room.

  They weren’t alone again until they said their goodbyes and headed home several hours later. Grace’s mom and sister had been full of questions, wanting to know about his childhood, his parents, and even if he’d had any pets growing up. For the most part, Grace had remained quiet throughout the conversation, only commenting when someone asked her a question.

  “Tell me what’s wrong,” he demanded as they made their way back to her house.

  It took her too long to answer.

  He glanced over and saw her fidgeting, pulling at her fingers. “Grace?”

  “You said you want to get married.” She paused. “Soon.”

  The wheels started turning in his head, rushing to catch up to what she’d obviously been mulling over for hours already. “Yes. I would like to get married someday.”

  Alexander waited to see if she would continue. He figured he’d give her until they reached their destination before he took more drastic measures to get whatever it was out of her. Luckily, she didn’t make him wait that long. “Is
there someone else?”

  They were at a stoplight, which turned out to be a very good thing seeing as how her question had caught him completely off guard. “No. Why would you even think that? Have I given you any reason to think—”

  “No,” she hurried to explain. “It’s just that . . . when you told my mom you wanted to get married soon, at first I thought you were talking about us, but then I thought you couldn’t possibly. I mean we haven’t known each other for that long and . . .”

  The light turned green and as there was a vehicle behind them he had to drive. As soon as he saw an opening, however, he maneuvered his car off the road and put it in park. He gathered her hands in his, needing to touch her. His heart was pounding in his chest. He’d known her mother and sister would ask questions, vet him to make sure he was good enough for Grace, and when she’d asked about marriage he wasn’t going to lie. And even though he’d known Caroline’s questioning could go down this road, he’d been hoping to put off this conversation with Grace for a little while longer. “I was talking about us.”

  Grace swallowed.

  Her lack of verbal response worried him. “Do you not want to get married again?”

  “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

  Time ticked by as they sat in the warmth of the vehicle. He held tight to her hands, not letting go. “I know what we have is new and we’re still feeling things out, but if war taught me one thing it’s that life is fleeting. And if you want something, you need to go after it, because tomorrow isn’t a guarantee.”

  Alexander cupped her face with one hand, massaging her cheek with his thumb. “I want to fall asleep beside you every night for the rest of my life. And when I wake up every morning, the first thing I want to see is you.” He let that hang in the air for a moment before he continued. “I love you, Grace.”

  He could feel her pulse race beneath his palm. For weeks he’d been biting his tongue, knowing she wasn’t ready to hear how he felt. Finally putting it out there was one of the most terrifying things he’d ever done. He had no idea how she’d react.

  The only thing he could hear was their breathing and the blood pumping through his eardrums as he waited. Although it was no more than a minute, it felt like an eternity. “What about our agreement?”

  There was such vulnerability in her eyes as she stared back at him. He wanted to gather her into his arms and never let her go. “There isn’t anything in our agreement that says I can’t fall in love with my submissive.”

  “Yes, I know.” She looked down at where he was still holding one of her hands. “I’m not saying this right.”

  He tilted her chin up, meeting her gaze. “There’s no pressure here, Grace. When I told your mother I wanted to get married soon, I didn’t mean next week or even next month.” One side of his mouth tilted up a little. “Although, I wouldn’t say no if that’s what you wanted.”

  Her eyes opened wide at his admission.

  “What I meant was that one day, hopefully in the not too distant future, you will agree to become my wife. If that’s months from now, or years . . .” He shrugged.

  “We’ve only known each other for two months.”

  “So?” He released her fingers and cradled her face in his hands as if she were the most precious thing in the world to him. “I’ve been falling in love with you since that moment in your kitchen when you cried in my arms.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

  “You don’t have to say anything.” He brushed his lips against hers. “Let’s get you home, and then we can talk some more if you want.”

  “All right.”

  He couldn’t get back to her house fast enough. As the miles passed, he felt her withdrawing again. It made no sense and because he had to keep his focus on the road, there wasn’t much he could do about it at the moment.

  When they arrived at her house, he waited until they’d brought everything inside and put it away before leaning against the counter and drawing her into his arms. “Talk to me.”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  He pressed a kiss to her temple as he held her against him. “Tell me how you’re feeling.”

  “Nervous. Confused.”

  Alexander wished Grace’s mother had never asked him that stupid question or that he had answered it differently somehow. He’d known what she was doing—they both had—but he was positive Caroline wouldn’t have anticipated Grace’s reaction. At most, Alexander had figured she’d be shocked or maybe even a little uneasy given they had known each other for such a short time. Originally, he’d planned on waiting another month or two before telling Grace he loved her. Then, when the time was right, he was going to ask her to marry him. Her mother’s question and his subsequent answer had thrown that plan out the window. Or the first part of it, at least.

  He opened his mouth to ask her what she was confused about when she stepped out of his arms and met his gaze. “I think I’d like to be alone tonight.”

  The urge to make her talk to him was strong, but he decided to give her some space. He wouldn’t let her push him away for long. “If that’s what you want.”

  Grace let her shoulders drop as if a huge weight had been lifted. It was obvious she’d expected him to protest. “Thank you.”

  He pushed himself away from the counter and closed the distance between them once more. Taking hold of her forearms, he placed a kiss on her forehead. “Call me if you need anything.”

  She gave him a brief smile, which gave him hope. “I will.”

  Reluctantly, he dropped his arms, retrieved his cane, and headed toward the door.

  When he reached for the knob, her hand covered his, stopping him.

  “I just need some time to think.”

  Without giving it too much thought, Alexander turned to face her. He took hold of her face and kissed her.

  They were both breathing hard when he let her go. The air around them was charged and heavy. He didn’t think it would take much to convince her to change her mind, to let him stay, but he knew that wasn’t what she needed. Sex wouldn’t fix whatever was going on in her head. If anything, it would only complicate it more.

  He backed away. “Good night, Grace.”

  “Good night.”

  Before he could talk himself out of it, Alexander walked out the door.

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  Chapter 27

  It was the Friday after Thanksgiving—Black Friday—the first official shopping day of the Christmas season. People were out trying to scoop up all the deals stores were advertising, and all those people needed to eat. Beth had anticipated they would be busy, but even Grace didn’t think she’d understood just how many people would come through their doors that day. From the time Tommy opened up there was a steady stream of people.

  With all the running around, Grace didn’t have much time to think. She smiled and did her job making sure the customers had what they needed.

  Her feet were killing her by the time the last customer walked out the door. She gingerly lowered herself into a chair at the back of the dining room. Seconds later, Tommy joined her, two glasses of water in his hands. He pushed one her way.

  “Thanks,” she said, gratefully taking it and drinking until half the contents were gone.

  Tommy sagged in his chair. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many people in my life.”

  Beth pulled out a chair and sat down without finesse. She looked as tired as Grace felt. “I’ll have to crunch the numbers, but I’m willing to bet today was our best to date. I must have made five hundred sandwiches during the lunch rush.”

  Tommy raised his glass before taking another long drink. “And just think, tomorrow we get to do it all again.”

  “Maybe it won’t be as bad,” Grace said, sounding hopeful.

  Beth shook her head. “Don’t bet on it. Tomorrow is small business Saturday. All the shops downtown will be open, trying to entice shoppers. Chances a
re good that we’ll be just as busy as we were today.”

  Both Tommy and Grace groaned.

  They all sat there for several more minutes, sipping their waters and enjoying doing absolutely nothing.

  The reprieve was short-lived, however. Beth finished her water, placed her palms on top of the table, and stood. “I hate to say it, but we need to get this place cleaned and set up for tomorrow. Then I’m going home for a nice long soak in the bathtub.”

  Cleaning up took longer than usual. Some of that had to do with the fact that they were low on everything. Salt and pepper shakers had to be filled. Coffee restocked. Napkins. The list went on and on. It also didn’t help that they were all dead tired.

  Grace pulled into her driveway at quarter to five, starving, but having no desire to cook. Instead, she called for pizza. She’d barely made it through her second piece before her eyes started closing and she knew she needed to call it a night.

  Stripping out of her clothes, Grace slipped under the covers. She didn’t bother putting on any pajamas. Her Dom didn’t like when she wore clothes to bed. He preferred her naked and easily accessible.

  She reached up to touch her collar. The feel of the metal against her fingertips—it symbolized the connection she felt to her Dom and he felt to her. Despite her jumbled thoughts and feelings, she missed him.

  Without thinking about it, she grabbed her phone and dialed his number. He picked up on the second ring. “Grace?”

  “Hi.” Just hearing his voice soothed her. “I wanted to let you know that I’m all right.”

  There was a long pause. “Thank you. I’ve been worried about you.”

  “I’m fine. Just tired. The café was slammed today.” Grace knew she was changing the subject, but she wasn’t ready to talk about them yet.

  At first, she didn’t think he was going to follow her lead, but finally he seemed to sense she didn’t want to go there. “I should let you get to bed, then.”