Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  ‘When she finds out I’m singing, that woman will go ballistic,’ Suri whispered. ‘Do you want to inflict that on me?’

  ‘When she finds out that I’m getting married, and the blessing is in the church, I think the focus will be shifted,’ he replied, looking worried.

  ‘She doesn’t know?’ Suri asked and started to smile. ‘Are they doing the banns today?’

  ‘Stop looking so eager,’ laughed Mrs Henderson, shaking her head from side to side. ‘I’ll see you both inside if there’s a spare seat. That Reverend Isley is certainly causing a stir.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Annabel said gently to Edgar, squeezing his arm. ‘It’s been eight years and she must know it’s time for you to both move on.’

  ‘Yes and I’d be scared shitless if I were you,’ Suri added only to be met with a disgruntled expression from Edgar. ‘Do I accumulate holiday while on gardening leave?’

  ‘No!’ he barked before breaking out into a grin. ‘So you’re going to spend your time helping the church? I’d never thought I’d see the day.’

  ‘Jack said the same thing but here I am, two Sundays in a row.’

  ‘And you’re doing this for you? Your own redemption?’

  ‘I’m doing this for him,’ she said, gesturing her nod towards her lover. ‘There will be many doubters about us, so I want them to back off.’

  ‘Really? God help you Suri. You know they’ll string that young man up rather than think you’re a little saint.’ He started to laugh. ‘We have to go in. I’ll say a prayer for you.’

  ‘I will, in turn, do the same for you.’

  An hour later, she could hear the music volume increase and looked down at her tin. She’d only got a few more bits of loose change and someone put an out of date bag of lettuce in her crate.

  Things weren’t looking good.

  Then he sang, and she smiled.

  Realising she was a failed fund raiser, Suri sat on the bench, her eyes closed and listened to his dulcet tones. Her busker was on the corner, playing along to the music coming out.

  He started off singing ‘Oh Happy Day’ which she hummed along to, then felt someone put a coin in her tin. She opened her eyes and noticed a little girl had donated.

  ‘Thanks,’ Suri said, smiling at her.

  ‘I like your humming,’ the girl replied.

  Then Joe sang George Michael’s ‘Faith’ and was met with a round of applause by the congregation.

  Laughing, she closed her eyes and started singing to the song, recalling seeing a very young George prancing around in leathers from the old videos she’d seen as a child.

  Again, something strange happened, and money was dropped into the tin.

  A lot more.

  She wondered if her harmonica playing busker would think she was muscling on his pitch.

  Suri looked at a few people standing around listening.

  Her first reaction was to blush and shift uncomfortably on the bench.

  ‘Come on, sing some more,’ and elderly lady said, smiling brightly at her. ‘I don’t go to church but I do like a good George Michael song.’

  ‘Oh, I was just hanging out,’ Suri replied.

  ‘I’ll give you fifty pence if you do, love.’

  Taking a moment to think about it, she realised her tin was a little bit light and carried on singing, but still sitting down. Some more people dropped in loose change, and Suri didn’t know if that was what she was supposed to be doing.

  Busking for money to help the church.

  Then Joe started singing ‘Say a little prayer’ by Aretha Franklin.

  Hesitating for a moment, Suri noticed her captive audience of seven people and broke into song, singing a little bit louder. That’s when she noticed the busker was walking closer, covered in a large hat and even bigger sunglasses.

  Suri couldn’t figure out if he was looking at her, but he played along to her singing.

  And it felt good, as her voice was intermingled with Joe’s, and he couldn’t hear.

  She had her own little band going on.

  Still more people gathered, and there were about eleven of them now, with others passing by and donating cash.

  Feeling a little embarrassed, Suri carried on singing, not too loudly, and when Joe finished, she was greeted with a round of applause. Accepting more money, she felt good about her impromptu stint then looked down at her food crate.

  Someone had pinched the bag of out of date salad.

  ‘You’ve done what?’

  Suri did a double take when she looked at her mother the following Saturday in their local Chinese restaurant.

  ‘Asked Reverend Isley to meet us for lunch,’ Mary grinned. ‘I’m paying.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because he’s a good man for taking you on,’ she smiled sweetly, while sipping her glass of wine. ‘And I’m going to see Auntie Edith after church tomorrow. I hear you raised quite bit of money last week, shaking that tin. I’m so proud of you.’

  Sheepishly grinning, she felt nervous about Joe joining them.

  She’d not seen him since Thursday, and he didn’t mention the invite.

  ‘A little bird told me that you and he have been spotted out and about,’ her mother said, still smiling brightly. ‘Are you getting on?’

  ‘We seem to be,’ she said, noticing he was walking in with a big grin.

  Her heart pounded on seeing him.

  ‘Hello there, Mrs Thomas,’ he said, going straight to Mary and kissing her on the cheek.

  ‘Please call me Mary,’ her mother said, getting coy.

  ‘And hello Suri,’ he said, leaning forward and surprisingly kissing her on the lips.

  ‘Oh!’ she heard her mother say as Joe smiled and sat down.

  ‘Oh?’ Suri repeated and wondered what he was up to.

  ‘Mary, I’m so pleased you invited me for lunch,’ he said, looking at the pair of them. ‘I know this might sound a little unusual but I’ve been seeing Suri. It has been going on for a few weeks.’

  ‘Really?’ her mother said, looking surprised as Suri did a shocked double take when she looked at her lover. ‘Suri never said.’

  ‘I think she wanted us both to break the news.’ Joe then turned to look at her. ‘And you, as per usual, look beautiful today.’

  Suri heard her mother giggle churlishly in the background.

  ‘I’ve seen your daughter around for many months and…’ he then hesitated, looking at Suri. ‘I don’t want to lie.’

  ‘I think that’s lovely,’ her mother gushed. ‘I thought as much because you seemed happier.’

  ‘Suri, can we tell your mum the truth?’

  ‘About what?’ she asked, feeling his hand discreetly squeeze her thigh, while she tried to hide her small panic.

  ‘About everything?’

  ‘Everything?’ Suri asked.

  ‘Give or take.’

  And he sat there and proceeded to tell Mary Thomas the truth and nothing but the truth. He did omit that they were in the bedroom making love, saying they were kissing on the sofa, and Suri hid afterwards. Plus he didn’t mention the miscarriage of Rory’s baby.

  All Suri did was watch her mother’s face, completely entranced by the young Vicar.

  When he finished, giving Mary the most up to date version with Janet Peters’ reaction, Joe took a large gulp of his glass of lager.

  There was an eerie silence, so Suri bit into a prawn cracker, watching her mother watch her and then Joe. Mary picked up her glass of wine and sipped it, deep in thought.

  ‘I didn’t say anything because I only found out he was the new Vicar when I delivered the cakes,’ she eventually said, feeling Joe hold her hand under the table. ‘And then when he decided to call it a day, I was very upset. Heartbroken to be exact.’

  ‘Why would you turn your back on my daughter?’ Mary suddenly asked Joe, in an accusing tone. ‘If you love her, why walk away? Surely God would know that she did nothing wrong. Why would Janet Peters be so stern abou
t it? I heard gossip that you had a little mishap in your last parish, but that doesn’t mean anything. You have the right to be happy too.’

  Joe instantly went red, and Suri felt sorry for him.

  ‘It happens, mum. Sometimes you make mistakes and have to pay for them,’ she said gently, putting their entwined fingers onto the table. ‘And then you realise that love is the only thing that matters.’

  ‘You’re in love?’

  ‘Very much,’ Suri whispered, looking at Joe examining her face. ‘And I’ll do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to us.’

  ‘I don’t know what to think,’ her mother said, filling their glasses with wine before a grin appeared on her lips. ‘My Suri going out with Reverend Isley. That’s a turn up for the books; it really is.’ Then she frowned. ‘But Janet Peters has no right telling you what to do, Joe, and you shouldn’t listen to her. She’s not the boss of you. God is your boss.’

  ‘I know,’ he said, looking coyly away. ‘As soon as I split with Suri, I realised I’d made a mistake.’

  ‘No wonder that woman has been a complete bitch over the past week!’

  ‘Mum!’ Suri said, turning to her sharply. ‘You don’t swear.’

  ‘I do and I will!’

  ‘We need support and love,’ said Joe, starting to laugh. ‘And I wanted you to know. It’s my fault. I preferred to keep it a secret and with all the things people talk about, it was hard.’

  ‘My child was innocent. The only thing she did was believe in two people who said they cared.’ Mary took a deep breath. ‘I always liked Rory even though I knew he was a free spirit but Felicity? Very much like her mother, she was a stuck up little madam. I hated seeing the way they treated my daughter afterwards. And Suri kept her mouth shut, never speaking up because she was dealing with her own loss. Certain people took advantage of that; I know.’

  ‘It’s okay,’ Suri said, grabbing her mother’s hand, seeing she was getting upset. ‘I will sort it out. I’m trying to get a plaque for Rory, and I won’t let anyone belittle you or I again. I promise.’

  ‘And here was I thinking, I’d match make you.’ Mary started to laugh. ‘Seems you match made yourselves. What do they say? A match made in heaven?’

  ‘This isn’t right.’

  Suri was trying to walk around Ted, who had managed to stop her coming out from the gym a few days later. ‘You never come to this gym and you’re not supposed to talk to me.’

  ‘I wanted to see you.’

  She knew he wasn’t going to accept a refusal.

  ‘I was told, quite specifically, that I can’t speak to you.’

  ‘We have a company membership, so it’s a coincidence,’ he said, still stepping in her way. ‘I’ve not seen you for weeks.’

  ‘That’s because I was put on gardening leave and, as of 1st September, I’m on sabbatical.’

  ‘You’re not coming back next week?’ he asked, looking genuinely surprised. ‘I thought it was four weeks off.’

  ‘There was a change of plan.’ Suri calmed herself down. ‘Edgar wants me to take some time away to see if I still want to work for the company. It’s a good thing.’

  ‘He never said.’ Ted was beginning to look upset. ‘But you want to come back, don’t you?’

  ‘I thought Denise would have told you, but then obviously not.’ Checking her watch, she needed to go. ‘I have to meet someone.’

  ‘The Vicar?’ Ted asked and stepped closer. ‘I know what you get up to most mornings.’

  ‘Spying?’

  ‘Making sure the woman I love isn’t making a monumental mistake.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘I’m sorry. This got out of hand, and I shouldn’t have taken it so far. But what you did was wrong.’

  ‘Listen to me Ted,’ she said, stepping back a little. ‘I don’t want to see you again. I know the set up with Denise and Leila wasn’t appreciated… at first. They don’t want to get involved, but you know I didn’t tie you up and leave you gagged. In many ways, you’re trying to stitch me up, aren’t you?’

  His face darkened.

  ‘I wanted to make love to you that night, and I still want you,’ he whispered, touching a lock of her hair. ‘It hurts that you’re punishing me.’

  ‘I’m not,’ she said gently. ‘All the shit you said in that meeting about me not being able to let go. That was wrong. I realised a long time ago I want to be with someone who is honest and loves me.’

  ‘A local Vicar? Have things got that bad?’ he laughed out loudly, and Suri felt a surge of anger towards him. ‘Turning to God to get a leg over?’

  ‘He’s a better man than you, one hundred times over.’

  ‘Yeah, and I’ve been doing a bit of digging around about your local God worshipper. Seems he likes to dip his holy wick into things he’s not supposed to. Got given a disciplinary and nearly lost his job. You think he’s not going to do it again? All those women wanting a piece of his dog collar. I bet if that woman came back onto the scene, he’d drop you like a hot potato.’

  Suri took a deep breath and knew she’d have no choice but to tell him the truth.

  ‘We’re very much in love. He won’t. Joe has got me, heart, body and soul.’

  Ted looked like she’d slapped him again but this time harder, from the expression of shock and devastation.

  ‘Does he know you’re a little fucked up in the head?’ he said, pointing to her forehead. ‘People talk. I know. That’s why you knowingly had an affair with me. Don’t tell me you didn’t know I was married.’

  ‘I didn’t,’ she said gulping hard, watching him look unconvinced. ‘He told me about his relationship with that woman. You see, we were both tricked into believing something that wasn’t true.’

  ‘You can’t be in love with a Vicar!’ laughed Ted.

  ‘You’ll find I desperately am.’

  Suri then ran off towards the park, hoping Ted wouldn’t follow. As she turned, he was rooted to the spot.

  His look was now of pure anger.

  She quickly headed towards the green, not bothering to get a coffee. She flung herself at Joe, making him stop in mid jog.

  ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ he asked, looking at her. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes, fine,’ she said, taking a deep breath.

  ‘You’ve broken into a sweat. You only do that in bed,’ he smiled gently, stroking her cheek while trying to catch his breath. ‘Suri?’

  ‘Ted was at the gym when I walked out. He wanted to talk. Said a few mean things, and I just ran off.’

  ‘What did he say?’

  ‘Mentioned about your affair at the other parish,’ she said, starting to grimace. ‘He told me you’d do it again.’

  ‘Do you think I will?’

  Suri looked up into his eyes and noticed he was looking earnestly at her.

  ‘I love you,’ she said, starting to smile. ‘I don’t think you will, other than with my mother, but I’ll forgive you. Eventually.’

  Joe laughed then wrapped her in his arms, placing a tender kiss on Suri’s lips. His face was a little damp from sweat, and he pulled away, still peering into her eyes.

  ‘He said I was fucked up in the head,’ she said, trying not to cry. ‘And if your ex came back on the scene, you’d dump me. Why would he say that?’

  ‘He's being mean because you’re not playing ball.’

  ‘What if he tries to come between us? He gave me the filthiest look when I told him I was desperately in love with you.’

  Joe stared into her eyes and smiled.

  ‘And so you should be,’ he eventually said, pushing the hair away from her face. ‘Plus I’m desperately in love with you. I’ll even let you buy me an overpriced coffee to prove it.’ Then he pulled her closer. ‘I think there’s nothing wrong with your mind. You had a few things you had a deal with and it has been hard. Maybe your previous choice in men didn’t meet the high standards they do now.’

  ‘What did I see in him?’

/>   ‘You were probably lonely. But I think, spiritually, you were just killing time waiting around for me.’

  ‘But what would have happened if you didn’t turn up?’

  ‘I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.’

  ‘You promise.’

  ‘I promise

  ‘Edgar, you have to talk to him.’

  Suri was sitting in his garden a few days later. ‘He can’t turn up when I’m there.’ Letting out a sigh, Edgar stared at Suri and shook his head as if deep in thought. ‘Ted’s got the hump.’

  ‘Do you blame him?’ Edgar replied, filling up her glass with wine. ‘Somehow news of what you did has leaked out.’

  ‘Not from me!’

  ‘Tell me who was in the room?’

  ‘Why? It’s no use asking them as they’ll deny it, like I said. You might as well take it out on me.’ Suri hesitated. ‘He didn’t know I was taking a sabbatical. Ted looked a little surprised that I might not come back.’

  ‘Might you not?’ he quizzed. ‘You’ve not decided yet, have you? What’s your new plan of action? Full-time fundraiser for the church?’ There was a little chuckle as Suri tried not to grin. ‘You certainly know how to shake a tin.’

  ‘Please tell him to keep away.’

  ‘The problem is, your young man is a threat to someone like Ted,’ he said, sitting back in his sun lounger. ‘And you know what it’s like. A man of a certain age feels upstaged.’

  ‘Is that what Janet Peters feels?’ she piped up, avoiding eye contact. ‘Did they read the banns out? I didn’t want to ask Joe.’

  ‘They did, and she was most courteous. So there was no punch up. And I invited her to the wedding.’

  ‘You did what?’ Suri shouted out loudly, making Annabel rush into the garden.

  ‘I told her I asked Janet to come to our wedding,’ he smiled sweetly at his fiancé.

  Suri had noticed the fake smile from the woman before she returned back into the house.

  ‘She can sit in church any time. I’m asking Crispin, so it’s only fair his mother is invited.’ Edgar sat up. ‘Have you practised any of the songs?’

  ‘Of course I have,’ she grimaced. ‘Can’t I put in just one Stevie number?’