Bless This Love

by S M Mala

  ‘I’ll be pleased to see the back of you. Don’t expect a baby bath or whatever they call it from me.’

  'Baby shower,' she laughed. ‘You’d probably try to drown me in it if you did.’

  ‘You don’t look well.’

  Suri held her hand against Joe’s forehead. He wasn’t listening as he put on his leather jacket. Three days he’d been poorly and had got over the worst bit, but still he was paler than a glass of milk.

  ‘I’m fine. I want to do an hour’s rehearsal before we go.’ Joe smiled, but she could see he wasn’t one hundred percent. ‘It’s the final.’

  She had been resting up since leaving work two days earlier. It was low key, but they had a collection, and Denise was nowhere to be seen.

  Neither was Ted.

  She had heard, second hand, he had been asking around when Suri was leaving and the intended return date.

  Now the church was getting ready to rock the world in the finals of the choir contest

  Though her husband looked like he was going to collapse.

  ‘Our baby’s due in five weeks and you have to be well, do you hear me,’ she said, grabbing the collar of his jacket, looking up at him. ‘I love you, and you’ve been working yourself ragged.’

  ‘Just an hour,’ he said quietly. ‘You have to rest.’

  ‘Don’t turn this on me,’ she said and then grinned. ‘Can I sit next to you on the way there?’

  ‘Backseat,’ he said then grimaced. ‘Should you be travelling by car?’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with me-.’

  ‘What if it’s a bumpy ride and it sets off the labour?’

  ‘Oh please!’ she said, pushing him out of the door and laughing. ‘You have to protect your voice if you’re not well. Drink plenty of water and don’t show off.’

  ‘Yes dear,’ he said, kissing her on the cheek. ‘I’ll see you in an hour and don’t be late.’

  She made a mental note to go to the chemist to get some more medicine.

  The problem with Joe, he thought he was invincible, and when he was feeling ill, he didn’t say.

  And very much like his boss, Jesus Christ, he found himself being a martyr - which most men did when faced with the common cold.

  She knew he wasn’t well when she was standing naked in front of him, and all he could do was sigh quietly, unable to move. The boy had lost his mojo. Based on his usual excitement over the size of her breasts, she knew he was poorly.

  Taking a bath and putting on a new dress, she smiled then grimaced.

  She was humongous and had another month before the child would come shooting out. A shiver went through her body when she thought about the pain.

  ‘Don’t think about it,’ she said, smiling brightly then regulated her breathing. ‘It’s ages away.’

  Checking her camera and phone were all charged up, she headed off towards the church. As she was about to approach the green, someone grabbed her arm.

  It was Ted.

  ‘Suri, we need to talk,’ he said, looking intensely serious. ‘We need to do it now.’

  ‘I’ve got to go,’ she said, glancing at the church and noticed people gathering. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘Do you need me to tell you?’

  ‘Can we talk later? I’ll be late.’

  ‘I love you!’ he said quite loudly, making Suri look around to see if anyone could see or hear what was going on. ‘We were together for eighteen months then you pulled the plug. I would have left Gillian for you.’

  ‘But you didn’t. That doesn’t matter now because I am married and having a baby.’

  ‘Leave him,’ he said, looking down at her before pulling her to the side of the park. ‘Runaway with me, and we can start from scratch. I can bring up your child, and we can be happy.’ Ted’s eyes started to fill with tears. ‘I can’t live without you and I hate what’s going on.’

  ‘Ted,’ she whispered, stroking a falling tear away. ‘I love Joe with all my heart, and I don’t want to leave him. Can’t you be happy for me? I don’t want to run away from him; I want to run to him. I’ve not felt like that about anyone for such a long time. You were right. I used to avoid commitment. I was let down, but it doesn’t matter.’

  ‘I can’t stop how I feel about you,’ he said, trying to control his tears. ‘This is killing me.’

  ‘Please, I have to go,’ she said, stepping back. ‘My husband needs me.’

  ‘I need you.’

  Suri couldn’t say anything to that, but kissed him quickly on the cheek and walked off towards the group outside the church. Then she noticed Janet Peters staring at her as if she stumbled on something before whispering into Mrs Markham’s ear.

  ‘Great!’ Suri said and ignored the bitchy looks coming her way.

  There were three people carriers and a few cars.

  It was evident that Suri wouldn’t be able to get her leg up to get in when Joe tried to help. He’d broken into a sweat.

  ‘I can do it,’ she said and noticed the driver look at her worriedly. ‘I’m pregnant, not disabled.’

  ‘You’re going to have to go in the car,’ Joe said, looking sympathetically at her.

  ‘She can come with me,’ Janet Peters said, standing behind them. ‘I have the room. It’s a rather spacious vehicle given the size of your wife.’ Then she looked at Suri as if she was a baby elephant. ‘There’s lots of room.’

  ‘No,’ hissed Suri noticing her mother had overheard and looked equally shocked.

  ‘I think that would be a good idea,’ Joe said gently. ‘Can I come too?’

  ‘Of course,’ Janet Peters said, looking like the cat who got the cream. ‘I’ll bring it around, so she doesn’t have to walk too far.’

  ‘Watch out she doesn’t run me over,’ whispered Suri then noticed Joe had lost his colour. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘Yes,’ he croaked and swallowed hard.

  ‘You’re not well.’

  ‘I’m fine. I’m much better. Do you mind going in Janet’s car?

  ‘Do I have a choice?’

  The large, expensive, car slowly pulled up. Suri wondered if Edgar paid for it.

  ‘I think you should sit in the front,’ she said to Joe. ‘And you can go in the back. It’ll give you more space to expand.’

  ‘Yes, because I’m going to grow by the second,’ Suri mumbled then got in and buckled up, watching Joe sit in the front. She handed him some throat lozenges. ‘Suck on this and see what happens.’

  ‘Isn’t that what I tell you?’ he laughed, and they noticed Janet Peters looked like she was going to puke.

  The final was in Kensington, so it wasn’t that far. Suri noticed the excitable bunch getting into the people carriers. Her eyes met her mother’s, which were full of concern.

  Jack’s eyes were brimming with sheer amusement.

  It was early Friday afternoon so the traffic wouldn’t be bad. They would miss rush hour.

  Suri was sitting behind Joe and felt him reach out and touch her leg.

  ‘Who was that man you were speaking to?’ Janet Peters asked.

  ‘Are you talking to me?’ Suri asked, feeling him squeeze her skin.

  ‘I’ve seen you with him before. He seemed very upset.’

  ‘You really have bad timing,’ Suri mumbled then shook her head. ‘It has got nothing to do with you. He’s someone I know.’

  ‘Why was he crying?’

  ‘Who was crying?’ Joe asked, turning to look at Suri.

  ‘Ted’s going through a bit of a crisis, so Edgar says, and wanted to talk to me.’

  ‘Ted Green? I thought I recognised him when you met for him for coffee,’ said Janet Peters, full of authority.

  ‘I didn’t meet him for coffee; we bumped into each other.’

  ‘He’s incredibly handsome, don’t you think?’

  ‘Genetically, he is acceptable,’ Suri replied, as Joe removed his hand from her leg.

  ‘His wife’s family are very well to do. But doesn’t he work
in the international section of the business? Why would he speak to you?’

  ‘I have a way with people,’ she flatly replied, knowing Janet Peters was shit stirring.

  ‘What was he doing here?’ Joe looked annoyed. ‘He’s not to come near you.’

  ‘Why’s that?’ asked Janet Peters eagerly.

  ‘Let’s talk about this later. Please rest your voice,’ replied Suri. ‘It’s not important. You have other things to think about.’

  Suri could feel her face start to burn with anger. She could see Janet Peters was trying to look at her from the front mirror.

  ‘And your baby?’ Janet Peters said, looking gleefully at Joe. ‘You kept that under wraps.’

  ‘People talk, as you know. Calling my wife a tart doesn’t help matters,’ he replied, and Suri started to hear a croak in his voice. ‘We conceived a child, which was a wonderful surprise. Because of idle gossip, Jack wanted the wedding to be brought forward. And it was the happiest day of my life.’

  Right then, he didn’t sound like it was.

  Suri felt a little twinge in her side, a pulling pain and rubbed her bump.

  All three sat in the car in silence.

  ‘Have you started maternity leave?’ Janet Peters asked. ‘You haven’t been working much have you? Edgar said you had some time off. Do you intend to go back to do what you do?’

  ‘Continuity writer and editor,’ she said, feeling a little sweaty. ‘And yes, I will be going back. Mum said she’d look after the baby, and I’m not going to work full time.’

  ‘What do you think about that?’ Janet Peters asked Joe.

  ‘It’s up to my wife what she wants to do.’

  Suri sat up.

  His voice was starting to fade.

  ‘Don’t speak, Joe,’ she said, leaning forward. ‘You’re going to lose your voice. As soon as we get there, I’ll buy some honey and lemon.’

  ‘Okay,’ he said, swallowing hard, and she noticed Janet Peters was smiling to herself, as if hoping something would go wrong.

  Suri wouldn’t let that happen.

  Joe and her mother would never live it down.

  And neither would she.

  ‘Husband, listen to me.’

  Suri was gently blowing on Joe’s face. He was burning up, and she’d given him some tablets to make his temperature come down. ‘You can’t sing like this.’

  ‘He has to sing!’ said her mother, frantically fanning him. ‘It’s him that got us to the final.’

  Her beautiful man looked like death, and she could see some of the key witches of the church thought it was rather amusing.

  Suri had heard they wanted the choir to fail, mainly because they were excluded from the group.

  Those controlling women hated it.

  It was obvious they sang worse than her own, dear mother.

  ‘Joe, you look awful,’ said Jack, holding a pint of cider and looking flushed. ‘Son, you won’t be able to perform.’

  ‘I have to,’ he croaked, and Suri could see Joe was getting distressed. ‘It’s the final.’

  ‘In films, the underdog always wins, but in life, that’s not the case,’ Suri reassuringly said, noticing Joe flinch. ‘Some of the people singing in the other choirs look like they’re still in school, and probably have recording contracts to boot.’

  ‘That’s not very nice, is it?’ Mary said, wiping Joe’s brow. ‘Such a handsome boy, but he isn’t well. I’ll make you a lamb curry tomorrow, and that’ll spice you up!’

  ‘I want to perform,’ he said, holding Suri’s hand. ‘I want to sing.’

  ‘But your voice will break or, even worse, fail. I don’t want you to get ill. Who’s the back up?’ She was met with blank faces. ‘You do have back up, don’t you?’

  ‘There was never a reason to get one,’ Mary replied, shrugging her shoulders. ‘All the publicity has been about Reverend Isley and his choir.’

  ‘Will you sing with me?’ Joe asked, gulping hard. ‘I know you don’t like to but it might cover for us.’

  ‘They won’t allow someone else to come in so late in the game.’

  ‘You’re from the parish, you’re married to me and go to church… occasionally. There won’t be a problem.’

  ‘Go on Suri. You want to make sure Joe wins, don’t you?’ asked Jack, nudging her hard, as she felt another twinge in her side.

  ‘And you know the words and the arrangement. I’ve been singing it for weeks on end,’ whispered Joe. ‘Please? Even if we lose, at least we had a go. You and me.’

  ‘You have to do it,’ insisted her mother. ‘Don’t move, I have to get you a smock. We have a spare one, but I’m not sure it’s big enough.’

  ‘That’s saying something!’ laughed Jack, looking at her large stomach.

  Suri wasn’t listening and realised this was her way to show she’d support her husband, no matter what.

  ‘I’ll do it,’ Suri said, looking at Joe. ‘But you have to sit down and do something to detract from the fact you’re weak. Right after this is finished, we’re getting in a cab and going straight home.’ He nodded. ‘Okay, let’s rock.’

  They were the third group up. After having a rushed rehearsal and going through a few things, they had to head for the stage. And it wasn’t Suri’s imagination when she saw the angry face of Janet Peters looking at her, as if she’d done something really bad.

  They sang two songs ‘Oh Happy Day’ and ‘Amazing Grace’ in line with the God link. Joe had rearranged them to demonstrate both a melodic and upbeat rhythm. He put all his heart and soul into it and Suri backed him all the way, taking over when she knew his voice was going to go.

  Then they were put in the last two and had to sing again. Everything was a blur as the song chosen was Stevie Wonder’s ‘As’.'

  This time Suri had to sing her heart out as her husband was fading fast, sweating buckets while his energy seemed to have seeped.

  When they finished singing, she took him to the side and wiped his brow. By then he couldn’t speak, and she had to get him home quickly. To the corner of her eye, she noticed Janet Peters was in a heated conversation with Jack, who was frowning. He said something to her and she knocked back her drink before storming off.

  It obviously had something to do with Suri.

  Jack walk up to Suri, looking flushed and angry.

  ‘I need to get him home. They’re not announcing the winner until another half an hour, so everyone can get pissed at the bar until then,’ she said, her heart twisting for her sick husband. ‘I need to get him dropped off, or we order a car.’

  ‘Mrs Henderson can drop him off,’ he said, his face pink with rage.

  Just then, Mrs Henderson walked up to them and looked at Joe.

  ‘He doesn’t look well. I can take him now. Shouldn’t take more than twenty-five minutes,’ she said comfortingly, looking at Suri. ‘Are you going to come?’

  ‘I need to stay here and make sure everyone’s okay.’

  ‘You don’t have to,’ Joe said, his eyes glazed.

  ‘I’m your wife. I’m here to support you. Go home and straight to bed. I’ll be back in an hour.’

  Watching him being escorted off, Suri knew she had to play the leader. Jack was too busy walking off to the bar, stomping in annoyance. Whatever Janet Peters said to the old man, had certainly wound him up. The ladies and gents were all huddled together with some of their loved ones. It looked like they were doing a collective prayer.

  ‘Whatever happens,’ Suri said quietly. ‘You’ve done brilliantly to get into the finals, even with my mum’s singing.’ She let out a little laugh and was met with a challenging stare from Mary. ‘Joe is very proud, even though a little ill. Well done!’

  ‘Why are you giving the pep talk?’ Janet Peters said, pushing forward. ‘This has nothing to do with you!’

  ‘What’s it got to do with you?’ Suri asked and notice some of the choir smile.

  Mary, on the other hand, looked like she was sparring for a fight


  ‘Janet, can you go, please?’ her mother said abruptly, looking at her in a way Suri knew meant trouble. ‘Reverend Isley’s wife, my daughter, has every right to be here.’

  Janet Peters walked off in a huff, and Suri tried not to grin.

  The next thing, they were ushered on stage to hear the announcement. She held her mother’s hand and noticed Jack was standing with their group of supporters. Checking her phone, she got a text from Mrs Henderson to say that Joe had been deposited on the sofa, and passed out asleep.

  Suri was itching to go.

  Waiting patiently, all Suri could do was think about her husband.

  ‘All Angels.’

  That’s the only thing she heard before feeling like her arm was being pulled out of her socket as her mother jumped up and down. She never knew Mary had so much spring in her legs.

  ‘You won?’ Suri asked, feeling a little stunned.

  ‘We won!’ her mother said proudly, hugging and kissing her. ‘And I’m going to pick up the trophy! It’s a dream come true, it really is!’

  And for her mother, it was.

  Because from the look on Janet Peters’ face, Mary had got one up on her for the first time in years.

  And for Suri to witness that, it was priceless.

  ‘I’ll be home soon.’

  Suri left a message on Joe’s phone as she looked out for a taxi.

  There weren’t any coming past, and she wondered about walking down the road to get a bus home. It wasn’t late, but her ankles had started to swell and she was tired.

  Then a car drove up and stopped.

  ‘Do you want a lift?’ Janet Peters asked, and Suri froze. ‘It’s on my way and your husband needs you, doesn’t he?’

  ‘I think it’s best I wait for a cab.’

  ‘Jack and Joe will be very upset to find out that I didn’t do something charitable.’ There was a hesitation. ‘For you.’

  Seeing she had no other option, Suri got into the car and buckled up her seatbelt, turning her head so she wouldn’t have to speak to Janet Peters.

  Unfortunately, Janet Peters thought otherwise.