Brighter Shades of Light

by Jaclyn Osborn

  “A little afternoon quickie?” Cody beamed. “Hell yeah. Bring it on.”

  After pressing my mouth to his once more, I flipped him around and pulled down his boxers, exposing his beautiful backside. His athletic body had no flaws, just perfect golden skin from head to toe with the right amount of muscle definition.

  “Do you even have lube in here?” Cody asked, pressing his cheek against the desk and looking back at me.

  I opened the top drawer, which I kept locked, and pulled out a small bottle along with a condom. I had bought them around the time Cody and I started having sex as a precaution, just in case the urge ever struck on campus. Better to be prepared.

  “I’m impressed. Not gonna lie.”

  I gripped his hips, pressing mine forward in a teasing way. My pants were still on, but I had other ideas before removing them. I ran a finger across his entrance, rubbing around the ring before slowly pushing the tip inside.

  Cody groaned and hung his head. After working him with one finger, I slicked a second finger with lube and added it. He rolled his hips back against my hand, wanting me to stroke him deeper. I spread his cheeks and angled my hand so it slid in just as he wanted.

  When I curved my fingers, his back arched, and he bit his arm to keep from moaning too loud.

  “Can’t take it anymore,” he whimpered. “Fuck me, Sebastian.”

  I withdrew my hand and leaned forward, placing it around his throat and bringing him up to me. I didn’t hold him too tightly. He seemed to love it, judging by the way he gripped my arm and pressed against me.

  “You call me Dr. Vale while we’re in here.” I was a bit surprised by my desire to role play. “Understood, Mr. Miller?”

  “Y-yes, Dr. Vale.”

  With one hand still holding his neck, I used the other to unbuckle my belt.

  “Ah, damn,” Cody said. “That sound just made me even harder. Like, I’m already close.”

  Music to my ears.

  Once my pants were down, I started stroking myself. I didn’t need much before I was rock hard and ready. The condom in place and my cock slick, I pushed against his opening. Cody whimpered and his legs shook. I rubbed small circles on his lower back as I slid deeper inside him.

  “Fuck.” Cody reached back to grab my hip. “More.”

  Only when his body welcomed me did I start an even pace, thrusting inside his heat before pulling almost all the way out and plunging back in.

  “Fuck me harder, Dr. Vale. I’ve been a naughty student.”

  I nearly choked on my laugh.

  “Hey, don’t laugh.” Cody was smiling, too. “I’m trying to be sexy here.”

  “How naughty?” I asked, recovering. I wasn’t a talker during sex, but I was finding the role play aspect of it freeing.

  I drove into him again, slow and deep.

  “Mm.” Cody chewed his bottom lip and glanced back at me. His upper body covered my desk, ruffling the papers. “Very naughty. I need the extra credit, and this is the only way I knew how to get it.”

  I thrust into him harder. “If you make this worth my while, I’ll consider raising your grade.”

  Cody spread his legs farther apart and lifted his ass higher in the air, flashing me a lust-heavy smirk.

  I alternated between deep and shallow thrusts, reveling in the noises he made. But when he started to shudder and tense, I held his hips for support and pounded into him faster. Skin slapping skin filled the room, mixed with quiet groans and whimpers.

  Cody bit his arm when he came, but moans still slipped free. His eyes rolled back and he jerked himself as his whole body quaked. Pleasure rippled through me the faster I fucked him. The sensation was intoxicating. Soon, I joined him in climax, gritting my teeth to keep from crying out.

  As I started to come down from the high, I gave him a few more small thrusts before pulling out and discarding the condom. I tucked myself back into my briefs, pulled my pants up, and buckled my belt.

  Cody, however, continued to lay there, legs spread and a sleepy smile on his face. I kissed his back.

  “Come on, Mr. Miller. You can’t lie here all day.”

  I used a tissue to clean up his mess. He peered back at me, and I met his smile with one of my own. His pants and boxers were at his feet. I pulled them up for him. As I stood, he grabbed my face and kissed me.

  My arm went around him as I returned the kiss. His lips trembled against mine.

  “I love you,” he said, the emotion reflecting in his eyes. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen with us a month from now. Or even two or five months. But I’m yours for as long as you want me.”

  “I’ll always want you.” I held him tighter. “Love is difficult for me.”

  “You never loved Emily?”

  “Never. I married her for the wrong reasons. There was no love between us, or at least, not on my part.”

  “But you loved Leon.”

  “Yes,” I said, caressing his strong jaw. “And I love you.”

  I loved them both but for different reasons. They each had something that called to me. That made me get out of my head and live like I was supposed to.

  Leon had been like the sun, thawing my icy barriers and becoming the brightest part of my world. When he died, that world grew cold again.

  But Cody was like the universe, encompassing everything—the sun, the planets, and the stars.

  Chapter 20

  Cody

  For the next two weeks, Sebastian and I snuck around, refraining from jumping each other in class and fucking in his office when we couldn’t stand it anymore. I spent a few nights at his house during the week, as well as Saturdays. He looked forward to our Sunday morning breakfast. I did too.

  Waking up with the man I loved, making out in the shower once pulling ourselves out of bed, and cooking breakfast together—they were things I had always wanted but never thought I’d have.

  The forbidden part of it was fun, yeah, but I couldn’t wait until I could sit with him on campus and hold his hand. I wanted to kiss him in front of everyone, so they knew I belonged to him.

  The last day of final exams was the Wednesday before Christmas. I had a few exams on Monday, two on Tuesday, and Sebastian’s on Wednesday. I made it to his class with ten minutes to spare and used the time to look over my study notes. He had told us what material would be on the test, and I had studied so hard for it that I’d often made him laugh when I went over to his house.

  “Studying again?” he had asked when I pulled out the papers for the third time.

  “Shush, you.” I touched his lips. “My professor is a hard-ass and is gonna kill me with this exam.”

  “A hard-ass?” he mumbled against my fingers. “I think not.”

  I smiled at the memory.

  “Why are you grinning, middleshipman?”

  Leave it to Brandon to make that smile vanish.

  “Brandon, I know you have an incessant need to know everything, but can you shut the hell up for once? I’m trying to study.”

  A guy in the row behind me laughed. Brandon glared at him before shifting that glare to me.

  I looked back at my notes, choosing to ignore him.

  “I don’t see why you’re worried,” he said.

  His tone made me glance up at him. It lacked the usual snootiness.

  “You’re smart, Cody. You know the material. You just need to get better at taking tests.” Brandon sat down and pulled two pencils from his bag, one for the test and the other as a backup. “When you read the questions, just take a breath beforehand. Chew gum if you have to so you’re not focusing on everyone around you.”

  “Are you…being nice to me?” I asked suspiciously.

  “Don’t get used to it.” He curled his nose. “It’s not because I like you or anything. You’re still annoying. And if Dr. Vale opens that TA job—”

  “It’s yours. I know.”

  Sebastian entered the room, drawing everyone’s attention. He drew mine for different reasons. Fuck. He was
too sexy. The sleeves of his sweater were pushed to his elbows, and the collared shirt he wore underneath had the top two buttons undone, showing his Adam’s apple and a peek of his collarbone.

  My mouth watered, and I shifted in my chair.

  “Good morning.” He placed his bag on the front desk. “Today is our last class together. Before I pass out the exam, let me just say it’s been a privilege teaching you all this semester. Out of all my classes, this one has been extra special.” His gaze flashed to mine before moving down the row. “You all have bright futures ahead of you.”

  Brandon started clapping, but once he looked around and realized no one was joining him, he slumped down in his seat. So, I started clapping, too. Fuck it. Brandon shot me a weird look before giving me the closest thing he’d ever shown to a genuine, non-patronizing smile.

  Sebastian watched me a moment, his expression unreadable to all those who didn’t know the real him. But I saw the swallow in his throat and the slight quickening of his breath before he grabbed the tests from his bag.

  We were required to bring our own scantron, so I grabbed mine from my notebook and jotted down my name at the top.

  Sebastian passed out the exams and told us we had two hours to take it. I expected him to have added a crap load of questions to the test since we had more time, but when I got mine and looked it over, I was relieved. Only sixty multiple choice questions.

  The room fell silent, apart from the usual squeaking chairs and coughs. It didn’t bother me as badly since I wasn’t obsessing over the clock. I answered the questions on the first page in twenty minutes. When I got to the back and saw the section on entropy and Gibbs free energy, I inwardly groaned and reflexively looked at Sebastian.

  He was either oblivious or intentionally ignoring my glare. My heart did a little flip, though, when I eyed the book he was reading: Band of Brothers. I had finished it months ago and told him how much I loved it. I never thought he’d actually read it, since it wasn’t something he showed much interest in.

  I focused back on the question. The exam took bits and pieces from everything we had learned that semester and threw it all together. So, fortunately, the section on entropy was small. After I answered the last question, I looked over the scantron and made sure I didn’t accidentally skip a line before walking toward Sebastian’s desk and placing the test on top of it.

  He looked at me with a small curve to his lips.

  We couldn’t say anything since the test was still in progress, but I winked at him and returned to my seat. I had every intention of going to his house later and letting him fuck me senseless.

  As I left the lecture hall and went outside, I looked up at the overcast sky. More snow was in the forecast. The campus was decked out in Christmas decorations; lit trees in every building and light displays on the grounds. It felt magical. Or maybe it was just my good mood that made it so. I returned to the dorm, finding Tristen in the living room watching TV.

  “Hey,” I said, closing the door and going to sit beside him. “You done with all your tests, too?”

  “Yep.” He kicked up a leg on the coffee table and put his arms behind his head. “Probably gonna go out tonight with Blake and celebrate.”

  Blake was the guy he had been banging since Thanksgiving break. I was surprised when Tristen finally introduced us. I had expected some muscled hottie, but Blake was a bit of a nerd. He was short and had floppy brown hair and glasses. He was extroverted, though, and was a great fit for Tristen.

  “Does it ever get easier?” Tristen asked.

  “What?”

  “Being in a relationship?” He heaved a sigh. “I haven’t told my family about Blake, of course. But they’re kinda dead to me anyway and don’t really count. But when I introduced Blake to our friends, I felt like they were all judging me. Marcus, especially.”

  “Marcus doesn’t have a problem with it,” I said. “He hates bigoted assholes. He told me he got a lot of crap for being the only black kid in his high school and would never want to make anyone feel the way he did. Why do you think he’s judging you?”

  “I don’t know. He just looks at me funny sometimes.”

  “Marcus looks at everyone funny. It’s his face. He also likes to give us shit, but he’s just playing around when he does. It’s your anxiety, Tristen. Believe me. I know the feeling of thinking the world’s out to get you. But no one gives a fuck who you’re fucking. At least not anyone who matters.”

  “Thanks, Cody. Maybe it’ll get easier with time.” Tristen smiled. “What about you and the sexy professor? You done hiding now?”

  “To be safe, we’re gonna wait until final grades are posted. But after that?” Excitement swarmed my chest. “Well, we haven’t put a label on what we are, so I guess whatever happens will happen.”

  “But you love him?”

  “Yeah.” The excitement grew, turning into a thousand butterflies that fluttered around in my belly. “I think he’s the one.”

  “Fucking sap.” Tristen laughed and pushed against my shoulder.

  He could call me whatever he wanted—sap, lovesick puppy, or Romeo—but I had always wanted to fall in love. Hookups were okay but had never excited me like love did. Now that I found it, I wasn’t going to let it go.

  ***

  Christmas morning, I woke up warm and happy in Sebastian’s bed. We had fucked all last night, and I was going to feel him for a while. Totally worth it, though. He might’ve been a little timid the first few times we’d had sex, but he was a beast now. He was more confident and not ashamed to take what he wanted.

  I cracked open my eyelids and watched the snow fall outside. The window gave a stunning view of the trees and the snow-covered mountain in the distance. It looked like it had been coming down for hours, falling silently to the ground below.

  A white Christmas. Hadn’t had one of those in years.

  Instinctively, I reached for Sebastian but found his side of the bed cold.

  I sat up and looked around, confused. He rarely got up before me. With his crazy sleep schedule, the times I slept over were when he usually got a decent night’s sleep for a change. Pulling back the covers, a rush of cold air hit me, and I shivered as I hopped out of bed and grabbed my sweatpants from the floor.

  I pulled one of Sebastian’s sweaters from his drawer and put it on. I loved being in his clothes. He wasn’t as muscled as me, but his arms and torso were longer, so his oversized sweaters still fit. I hummed a carol as I walked down the hall, searching for him.

  The Christmas tree in the living room twinkled as the lights chased each other. Sebastian never decorated for—or even celebrated—Christmas, but he had put up the tree for me because he knew I liked them. It was decked out in red and green ornaments and an ornate star topper that must’ve been pricey.

  “Good morning,” he said from behind me.

  I turned around and stepped into Sebastian’s open arms. He smelled like cinnamon and coffee. “Merry Christmas.”

  He kissed my forehead. “You’re in my sweater.”

  “Nope. It’s mine now.”

  “I made you breakfast.”

  “Oh yeah? Lead the way.”

  His lips twitched and he took hold of my hand.

  It wasn’t just breakfast; it was a damn feast. French toast, bacon, eggs, sausage, and fresh fruit. We ate in the dining room instead of at the kitchen table. It was more open and had more windows for us to watch the snow.

  “Emily called me this morning,” Sebastian said, sipping his coffee. “She’s vacationing in Florida and wished us a Merry Christmas.”

  Ever since the fight with Sebastian over Emily, he had started telling me everything. We didn’t keep secrets from each other anymore. He wasn’t exactly an open book, but the pages no longer stuck together.

  “That was nice of her.” I bit off a piece of bacon and chewed. “She’s dating some baseball player, right?”

  “Mhm.” Sebastian popped a grape into his mouth. “I’m glad she’s happy. She d
eserves to be.”

  I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “So do you.”

  “I am,” he said, staring at me with a tenderness that caused an explosion in my chest. His fingers squeezed mine as he lifted my hand to kiss my knuckles. “You brought me back to life.”

  The edges of my eyes stung, and for once, I didn’t know what to say. Maybe the words didn’t exist.

  After breakfast, Sebastian led me into the living room. A single box was under the tree. It was black with a silver bow.

  “You got me something?”

  “Perhaps.” He knelt to grab the box before sitting beside me on the couch. “I might not celebrate Christmas, but I like the idea of giving to those I love. That part of it I can understand.”

  “I got you something, too. It’s in my bag, though. Hang on.”

  I jumped up and ran down the hall before digging through my duffle bag to find his gift. I wasn’t the best wrapper in the world, so the shiny red paper was creased, and I had used tape to hold together the small holes I’d accidentally made. I jogged back into the living room and sat down, placing it on his lap.

  “Sorry for the shitty wrap job.”

  “Don’t be sorry.” Sebastian smiled as he observed it. “I find it charming. Thank you.”

  “You haven’t even opened it yet,” I said with a laugh. “So don’t thank me yet. You might hate it.”

  “I could never hate anything you gave me.”

  Fuck. Why did he have to say sweet things like that, making me all mushy and shit?

  “Open yours first,” I said, feeling way too impatient. It had taken a good chunk of my savings to buy his gift, and it was still nothing extravagant.

  Sebastian tore the paper and revealed a plain box underneath. He opened the lid and ruffled through it before stopping. His brow creased as he gently touched the clock.

  “Cody, I…” He looked back at it. Speechless.

  It was another mantle clock like the one he had on his desk, but it was a different style.

  “I noticed all the clocks you have in your study, so I saw that one at the antique store downtown and thought you’d like it. I know it’s not fancy or—”