The Energies of Love
Page 46
psychotherapeutic role of, 182–83, 184
soul and, 330
Bonding
attuned and broken bonds, 97
differentiating and, 29
hormones, 125, 127
physics of, 112
primal need for, 149–51
proclivity to, 3
Books
Eden-Feinstein experience writing, 1–2, 179–80
learning energy psychology from, 190
writing on cannabis, 350
Borderline personality disorder, 153
Bouncing, 343
Bowlby, John, 149
Brain
conscious thought in, 298
culture and, 120–21
development, 119
differences between men and women’s, 107–44
experience as influencing, 120–21
fetal, 119
gender-based differences in, 118–23
in heart, 66
hormones in maturation of, 121–22
infant, 147–49
infidelity and, 295
misunderstandings rooted in, 122–23
neural feedback loops, 184–85
rewiring, 248–55
sex drive area of, 288–89
The Brain in Love (Amen), 189
Brain structures, 108
of attraction and sex drive, 122–23
of love, lust and romance, 109–13, 116
maturation and, 121–22
relative size of, 119–20
of romance, 109–11
in three stages of love, 113–18
Brandon, Marianne, 278
Breathing
deep, 162
noticing, 65–66
Penetrating Flow exercise, 279
during sex, 285
Tantric practice using, 277–78
Bridge Flow, 126
Brizendine, Louann, 112–13, 119–20, 122, 123, 289
lizard mating studies by, 293
BSFF. See Be Set Free Fast
Bullying, memory and processing of, 180–82
Burr, Harold, 4, 336
Calendar image, 252–53, 254–55
Callahan, Roger, 200, 209
Cannabis, 351
Car accidents, in case histories, 206, 218–20
Caregivers. See Attachment styles
Care of the Soul (Moore), 336
Carrington, Patricia, 212
Case histories, 12
acupoint tapping, 221–55
airplane phobia, 209
attachment skill sets and, 171–78
car accident, 206
catastrophe aftermath healing, 218–20
emotional residue from first marriage, 247–48
fear of spiders, 206–7
husband killed in traffic accident, 218–20
jealous of wife’s ex, 221–24
open relationship, 248–55
sex-related, 286–88
shyness, 214–15
travel plan itinerary, 227–35
Catastrophe, healing aftermath of, 218–20
Cave Hold, 126
Centering techniques
during acupoint tapping, 195
Blow-out, 86, 86, 88
Connecting Heaven and Earth, 92–93, 93
Cross Crawl, 93–94, 94
Crossover Shoulder Pull, 89, 89
Crown Pull, 89, 89–90
Four Taps, 84–85, 85
Hook-up, 88, 88
notice breath, soften belly, open heart, 65–66
Stress Release Hold, 90, 90, 216
Tap step of STAR Pact, 82–94, 85–93
Wayne Cook Posture, 91, 91
Zip-up, 87, 87, 88
Central Meridian, 87, 87, 198, 198, 272, 276, 276
Chakras. See also specific chakras
attraction energies and, 107–8
in lust vs. romance, 110
“on the make” energies and, 107–8
in shared creative activities, 341
in Tantric sex, 275–78
Three Chakra Hook-Up posture, 75, 76
Childhood
encoding of experiences from, 186
injustices suffered during, 181, 182
secure and insecure attachment in, 151, 153
tracing repeating patterns from, 235–41
Choices Method, 212, 230–31
Church, Dawson, 226
Circulating breath, 277, 278
Clairvoyance, 6
Climactic points, in memory, 194
Coercion, sex, 109
Cole, Nat King, 299
Collaborative alliance, 79, 106, 321
Communication, sex and, 269, 282–83
Communication techniques. See also Harmony techniques
for all Energetic Stress Styles, 51–74
Appreciation Sandwich, 72–73
appreciation volley, 70–72
gentle start-up, 66–69
High-Band It, 73
nonjudgmental listening, 69–70
Tell Me What You Want to Hear, 73–74
Comparing, negative, 313, 317
Complaints, communication and, 68
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Tantric Sex, 271
Conflict management. See also Arguments
in conscious partnerships, 309
personal example of, 40
positive-negative interactions ratio, 41–42
by successful couples, 40–42
Connecting Heaven and Earth, 92–93, 93
Conscious kissing, 268–69
Conscious Loving (Hendricks and Hendricks), 318–20
Conscious partnership, 298–324
acupoint tapping and, 316–17
allies in, 302
authenticity in, 310–12
autonomy in, 323–24
capacity to change and, 314–18
cultivating curiosity in, 322–23
defined, 298–99
different temperaments and, 300–301
energy psychology in, 310, 316–17
Great Virtues cultivation in, 304
intentions, 308–10
interview with Horn and Mortifee on, 299–308
limitations as gifts in, 306
losing it as part of, 304–5
meeting dark side of partner, 305
mindfulness practice in, 315, 316–17
opposite aspects as opportunity to evolve, 302–3
partner as guru, 303
practices, 306–8
responsibility for, 305–6
seven qualities of, 308–10
sharing separate paths as, 301
telling microscopic truth in, 318–23
thought habits undermining, 312–14
wild self vs. tidy relationships and, 310–12
Counselors, energy psychology, 189
Couples
avoidant, 41, 42, 43, 176
book writing and, 179–80
conflict management, 40–42, 309
differing proclivities and aptitudes of, 325–26
Energetic Stress Styles and, 37–39
mixed- and matched-weight, 321–22
perpetual issues of, 102–3
practicing energy psychology as, 192–93
tapping during emotional discussions, 225–28
volatile, 41, 42, 43
Craig, Gary, 193, 219
Creative activities, 341
Cross Crawl, 93–94, 94
Crossover Shoulder Pull, 89, 89
Crown Chakra, 276
Crown Pull, 89, 89–90
Crystal, Billy, 272
Culture, 7–8, 120–21
Curiosity, 322–23
Daedone, Nicole, 263, 264, 285
Daily ritual, 342–44
Dancing, 29–30
Dateline, 259
Daughter preference, 7
Deep and flowing stage, 117–18
Deep breathing, 162
Depression, 142
Destiny, 335
Diary, 118–19
Differentiating, bonding and, 29
Digital style (abstract reasoning), 18
during argument, 46
avoidant attachment style in, 157–58
distortions, 24–25
early life development of, 19–20
Feinstein’s, 103, 157–58, 180, 319
interpersonal perils of, 35–36
list making characteristic of, 44–45
motto of, 36
partner with, 60–62
positive and negative aspects of, 33–34
using strengths of, 49
vulnerabilities, 49
Disappointment stage, 115–17
Disorganized attachment, 153
Distortions, sensory styles and, 22–26
Divorce, 97
DNA, monogamy and, 293
“Do I look fat?,” 321
Dopamine, 110, 114, 122, 127
“Do you mean” technique, 51–65
with digital-style partner, 60–62
with kinesthetic partner, 58–60
nonjudgmental listening in, 69
during STAR Pact Resolve process, 100–102
with tonal style partner, 63–65
vacation plans example, 52–57
with visual energetic style partner, 57–58
Dreams, 326–27
interpreting, 351–52
lucid, 328
sharing, 329, 351–52
Early imprints, 149–51
Earth element, 140–41
Eatough, Ellen, 268–69, 284
Economy, marriage and, 8–9
Eden, Donna, 286
appreciation volley example of, 71
arguments between Feinstein and, 1–2, 5, 179–80
astrology sessions and, 334–35
book-writing experiences, 1–2, 179–80
combined disciplines of Feinstein and, 18
daily ritual of Feinstein and, 342–44
energy sight of, 6, 18, 107–8, 158
Feinstein as opposite of, xiii, 1
Feinstein’s attraction energies noticed by, 107–8
at hypnosis class, 17–18
as kinesthetic, 157
no trouble pattern of, 226–41
packing for trip scenario, 319
relationship story of Feinstein and, 331–35
sensory styles recognized by, 18–19, 23
working with Feinstein, 6
Eden Energy Medicine, 242–46
EFT. See Emotional Freedom Techniques
Einstein, Albert, 112
Electric Points, 342
Electromagnetic field, 4–5
Elephant parable, 22
Ellington, Duke, 299
Elliott, Peg, 185
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT), 190, 193, 208
Emotions. See also Acupoint tapping
attunement of, 96–97
biofield emotional band, 21
completing unfinished business, 247–48
dismissing negative, 40–41
electromagnetic field impact of, 4–5
emotional triggers, 174, 187
first aid, 217
flooding, 80, 96, 105
heart as carrier of information, 4–5
infant irritability, 159–60
moving through intensity without escalating, 225–28
self-management of, 173–75
sex and, 286
structured emotional expression, 61
tapping on reflexive, 316–17
word derivation, 173
Empathy
problem solving as men’s, 128
Resolve Empathic statement, 99
Enchantment, 338
Energetic attunement, 94
Energetic Stress Styles, 180. See also specific sensory styles
aligning, 44–78
assessing, 26–29, 45
attachment style interaction with, 158
attuning to partner’s, 51
best of each, 43
biofield (aura) determination of, 21
communication techniques for all, 51–74
couple demonstrations of, 37–39
distortions resulting from, 22–26
gender and, 39
interpersonal perils of each, 35–36
as not learned behavior, 37
relationship style influenced by, 157–59
secondary modes in, 38
sensory modes and, 21
Stop technique when caught in, 80–82
of therapists, 38
using strengths of, 45–47, 50–51
Energies. See also Sex, as energy medicine
attachment, 147–78
of attraction, 107–8
awakening awareness of, 282
dance between two, 29–30
Eden’s ability to see, 6, 18, 107–8, 158
gender and, 130–32
of lust vs. romance, 110
men and women’s differing brains and, 107–44
merging energy fields, 30
mingling of, 341
of new, stale and renewed relationships, 262
of passion, 115
physical connection for stimulating, 76–77
scrambled, 214
secure relating, 154
STAR for colliding, 79–106, 225–28
tending hormones and, 127–30
within and between us, 4–5
use of, 2
Energies of love
defined, 3
overview, 10–13
visual experience of, 337
Energy Dimension sections, about, 12
Energy exercises. See Energy techniques; Exercises
Energy medicine, 6. See also Sex, as energy medicine
Energy Medicine for Women (Eden), 286
Energy psychology, 6, 172, 191
benefits of working as couple, 192–93
in conscious partnerships, 310, 316–17
counselors, 189
emotional resolution approach in, 186
learning from books, 190
main interventions in, 183
relationship areas improved by, 187, 224–25
Energy structure, 4
processing modes in, 18
Energy techniques. See also Acupoint tapping; Centering techniques; Communication techniques; “Do you mean” technique; Energetic Stress Styles; Harmony techniques; Sex, as energy medicine; STAR Pact
for harmony, 65–78
Heaven Rushing In, 77–78
mental image, 255
mindfulness, 180–82, 276, 313, 315, 316–17, 347–48
for oxytocin and testosterone production, 125–27
secure attachment, 170–78
sexual energy principles and, 280–85
tearless trauma, 193
Entanglement, in physics, 112
Epicurus, 338
Eros, 3
Esalen Institute, 190
Estrogen, 109, 121, 123
Exercises. See also Centering techniques; Energy techniques
Attach by
Detaching, 161–62
meridians in energy, 83
Penetrating Flow, 279
Tantric sexual practices, 275–78
Taoist sexual, 273–74, 274
Family of man, 335
Fate, 335
Fear
anger and, 75–76
of being on airplane, 209
of future, 314
of spiders, 206–7
Feeling band, biofield, 21
Feinstein, David
appreciation volley example of, 71
arguments between Eden and, 1–2, 5, 179–80
astrology sessions and, 334–35
book-writing experiences of Eden and, 1–2, 179–80
combined disciplines of Eden and, 18
daily ritual of Eden and, 342–44
as digital, 103, 157–58, 180, 319
Eden as opposite of, xiii, 1
Eden’s attending Hypnosis class of, 17–18
energy response to attractiveness, 107–8
relationship story of Eden and, 331–35
work of Eden and, 6
Females. See Women
Feminine qualities, balanced masculine and, 7–8
Fetal brain, 119
Field, Tiffany, 95
Fight or flight, 83, 95
Triple Warmer Smoothie for turning off, 167–68, 168
Figure-eight crossover patterns, 93
Fire element, 138–40
First aid, 216, 217
Fisher, Helen, 107, 108–9, 111, 113, 114
5-to-1 ratio, 42
Five elements, 132–44
earth, 140–41
exploring, 133–34
fire, 138–40
metal, 141–43
understanding own and partner’s, 143–44
water, 134–36
wood, 136–38
yin and yang, 132–33
Flooding, 80, 96, 105
Foreplay
in bedroom, 284–85
energies in sync as, 284
holding hands as, 283
kissing and, 267–68
trust and safety as, 283–84
Foster boy, 223–24
“Four Keys to Sexual Ecstasy: Experience Soulful Connection with Spine-Tingling Sex,” 268
Four Taps, 84–85, 85
Fredrickson, Barbara, 3
Free-floating anxiety, 208
Free love movement, 285–86
Freud, Sigmund, 5, 182, 186
Full-body orgasm, 272, 274
Gasper, Phil, 295
Gaze, gentle, 161, 162
Gender
battle of the sexes, xiii–xiv
biochemistry of, 125
brain differences, 118–23
in Energetic Stress Styles, 39
energies and, 130–32
Generalization effect, 208
Genetics, infidelity and, 292
Gentle gaze, 161, 162
Gentle start-up, 66–69
Gibran, Kahlil, 323, 346
Global economy, women’s empowerment and, 7–8