Rising to darkness

by Lucia Guglielminetti

  ’Hey, leave him alone, it's not his fault!’

  ’No, in fact, it's not. However, since I can't kick you, I have to vent on someone, don’t I? Get out of here, now!’

  Under normal circumstances, a human shouting at me like that wouldn't have survived to tell the tale, but I thought that I deserved the scolding and obeyed him. As I looked at you before leaving the room, using the towel to cover myself, I caught your gaze full of hatred, reproach and disappointment and I wanted to cry out in frustration.

  ’Don't hurt him anymore, do you understand?’

  ’I won't. However, we have to have a good chat, man to man, or whatever he is.’

  ’I don't think it's the right moment...’

  ’Why not? I think it's perfect. He can devote all his attention to me.’

  Again, with cruelty, he kicked you and found himself, in no time at all, with my fangs just a few inches from his throat.

  ’I’m warning you, Colonel. Leave him alone,’ I hissed.

  ’All right, all right, sorry. It’s just that I can't tolerate rapists, no matter what race they belong. Maybe I'm signing my own death warrant right now, but I don't care. This asshole and I have to talk. Get out. You have my word that I won't put a finger on him.’

  I gave heed to his words, but I couldn't fight off my curiosity and crouched down below the observation window to hear what he had to say to you. And to talk, this time, wasn't the mild-mannered man I hosted in my bed, but the Mossad officer, just as lethal as a vampire.

  ’The only reason I didn't blow your head off, asshole, is that Shibeen would have blown mine off immediately. I don't give a fuck about who you are or what you are. In my presence, certain things should never ever happen again, do you understand? I know you can hear me, you bastard son of a bitch. If you try to touch her again, I will kill you. And, if you think I don't know how to do it, well, you have another thing coming, vampire. If you understand, I want you to blink your eyes once. Well, that's great, we understand each other, then. Having cleared up this point, I want to talk to you about your damn heart.’ I was about to jump out and force him to keep quiet but, since yesterday, I've been obsessed with one thought: what if we don’t find it? What if it's really been destroyed? Will you live forever this way with the insane belief that you are incomplete, as if that useless muscle really contained your soul and the best part of you? Maybe it was the case that someone much stronger than me would be the one able to open your eyes to reality.

  ’Shibeen wants to go back to the lab where they held you captive to look for it. But, I must say that we won't find anything, your heart is gone. For that matter, your lungs, your liver, your stomach, your kidneys, and your spleen are gone too. You probably don’t realize it, but they have extracted all of your organs, one by one. We read it in the reports of the doctor leading the experiments. If they had had more time, they'd have taken your brain, too. Still, you're here, dead as before and yet vital as ever. It makes no difference what you have in your chest, don't you understand? Now, you have to decide what kind of life you want to lead: the ordinary one, surrounded by people who love you or are terrified of you, like me, doing the things that you like most, or this kind of life, being an unconscious and irrational beast, capable of arousing only pain and disgust. Three hundred years old and you freak out for a piece of flesh! If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't accept, not even for a moment, to live the way you are living now. You're grotesque and pathetic, you know. Good, that look full of hatred seems to be a rather healthy reaction. There are people out there who need you and would do anything for you, but they're getting tired of it. I'll take her away from you. I have already taken her to bed, your Shibeen. Soon, she will realize that you're a useless human wreck, but I can't even use the word human... subhuman, then. What will she do with you then? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I'll be there, ready to comfort her. She has already confessed that she couldn't bear to let you live this way. She's been thinking about using euthanasia and, after that, she'll be mine for the rest of my life. Think about that, bloodsucker, and decide what you want out of life.’

  When he left the room, I was ready to pounce on his throat for having dared portray me as his property; but, when I saw his face, I calmed down. He was dabbing his own forehead with a handkerchief, his face grey and his hands shaking without control.

  ’You... you should have seen his face... I've never seen such hatred in someone's eyes and consider that, with my work, I've done a lot to be hated. I can’t believe I spoke to him like that. Boasting of having stolen his woman... oh shit... He was trembling, Shibeen, despite the sedatives, he was shaking by the desire to kill me. If he doesn't recover this time, he's never going to. God, I told Atropos I had sex with his woman... I'm dead. I'm fucking dead.’

  ’No, you're brave and I love you,’ I told him.

  I kissed him and accepted to leave that dreadful place to go back to the hotel where I proceeded to fully express my gratitude.

  ’Would you really... stay with me if he...’

  ’Let's see how things go, ok? I won't give up until the very end.’

  ’Tomorrow we can look over the terrorists’ cove. It's a pile of smoldering ruins, but if it's so important to you...’

  I could not help but just hug him. That human was really making his way into my heart.

  ’Thank you, Adam. I owe you. He owes you. Even if he's a Dutch chump, he'll come to realize it someday.’

  Tel Aviv, September 2

  We went to the lab, my love. There was nothing left to save, Adam was right. I rummaged through the rubble for hours, but it was all a pile of charred ruins. Every now and then, a scorched bone or some other human remains would leap out, but there was not a single trace of any hearts.

  In a little room, we found a safe that escaped the initial raid of the Colonel's agents. Inside, we found the diary of experiments recorded by the doctor. On July 4, you can read: ’Extracted the cardiac muscle from subject V’s chest through the practice of vivisection; the subject doesn't reveal any specific change in his vital functions.’ And, just below: ’Cardiac muscle repositioned in its place, upon the request of Mr. S., performed under sedation. Vital functions unchanged.’

  ’Adam! Adam! The heart is still in its place! And, there's nothing here about other organs being extracted!’

  ’That's what I had hoped, to be honest. I was bluffing when I was talking to him, exploiting the fact that he spent the last period in an almost catatonic state. As for the heart... it's really good news!’

  We hugged and left that eerie place in a hurry.

  ’What happened to the doctors, the test subjects, all those involved in this insane project?’

  He looked at me in a way that was very penetrating and I realized it was better not to ask any more questions. I can't even talk about the location of the place as I promised the Colonel. Does it matter, anyway? All this happened the day before yesterday, in a place quite far from here. Now, I'm waiting for Adam to come to the clinic and give you the good news. I can’t wait, my love.

  Same day later.

  When the Colonel arrived, his frown and his brusque manners made me fear the worst. What could still possibly happen that was not already in the list of my ’worst things in the last one hundred years?’

  ’They called from the clinic. They said we have to go there as soon as possible.’

  ’Who was it? Who did you talk to?’

  ’Doctor Jonas, the blond.’

  ’What did he say? Is Raistan fine?’

  ’Nothing specific. He just told me to get there as soon as possible.’

  ’That’s very reassuring.’

  In the car, I saw him control his gun with anxiety, over and over again, and that sent me over the edge, too.

  ’I must warn you, Shibeen. The gun I'm carrying with me tonight has special bullets that explode on impact and release a secret substance that could kill anything and anyone. Even a vampire. Especially a vampire, I'd say. They have been tested
on the appropriate subjects and are truly a revolution. I can't allow Atropos endanger other humans, and I won't. If necessary, I will take this decision and beg you not to stand in the way of it, making the unenviable task even more difficult to execute, ok?’

  ’I... I can't Adam.’

  ’And I can't continue protecting a psychotic vampire who has the strength of ten men! I have people to be accountable to, Shibeen, and their patience is wearing short. In theory, you should not even exist! They wanted to save him to avoid losing the best assassin on the market and as a sign of gratitude for services rendered in the past; but, if that person is damaged, there's no point in saving him. This was the heart of the discussion that they had with me tonight. A lot of people would sleep much more soundly if they knew that Atropos is dead, that's the unfortunate truth.’

  ’Including you?’

  The words came out of his mouth very slowly and, for as long as he could, he avoided looking at me.

  ’He saved my life, in a sense, and I made every effort to save his. On this, I have a clear conscience. If it was just myself, I could as well give up, God only knows if I'm tired of killing. But, if I can prevent it, I will not let him hurt someone else.’

  ’I, too, hurt people, Adam. We're vampires. That's what we do to survive. Do you have the slightest idea of how many people I've killed in my lifetime? I'm more than one thousand years old. Why don't you kill me as well? Isn't that what your species has always done to mine? Come on, one shot and it's all over!’

  When I revealed my age, he turned to look at me, aghast. Just then, the car stopped in front of the clinic. Unlike the previous times, we weren't alone: two cars stopped behind ours and six armed men came out of them.

  ’You came here to kill him, and that’s it!’ I shouted, going before them with supernatural speed.

  ’Nobody will do anything without my order. Let us in, Shibeen.’

  ’Over my dead body!’

  I ran inside and reached the wing reserved for you and Greylord, ready to barricade myself inside and defend you to my very last breath. We'd die together, I thought, and, it would be fitting. When I broke into the lab, I found it deserted: no doctors, no Greylord, and not a single trace of you.

  ’Raistan! Raistan, where are you? They're coming to kill you, we have to...’

  I opened the door of the little room where I woke up the first time and found myself in front of the most incredible scene: four puzzled faces, including your own, turned to look at me from the table where you were sitting.

  ’Honey, what's wrong?’ you asked, as if we had just parted in circumstances which were entirely normal. You were wearing the clean clothes I had brought for you two days before, your hair was short and you seemed to be in very good spirits, even if your face still revealed the ordeals that you had been through. The others in the party were the two doctors and Greylord, in his dressing gown, with a satanic grin on his face. And, incredibly enough, you were... playing cards. The hell with you!

  ’The Colonel... is coming with his men...’

  ’Great! More people! Do you think they know how to play Pharaoh? It's a bit of an old-fashioned game, but... Oh, sorry about the puzzling phone call. I wanted to surprise you...’

  At that moment, the soldiers irrupted into the room, guns drawn and with Adam in the forefront. His expression was definitely worth filming when he realized what was happening. The two doctors almost fell off their chairs in shock while you and Greylord exchanged an exasperated look to emphasize the perpetual idiocy of humans.

  ’Hello, Colonel, would you like to join us? We were playing Pharaoh, but my dog friend here claims that I'm cheating. You don't think I'm cheating, do you?’ he asked the doctors who were staring at you, as stiff as poles. They both shook their heads vigorously.

  ’See, Greylord? They don't think I'm cheating.’

  ’They are afraid of having their throats ripped to shreds, you bag of putrid bones that you are! I know you're fucking us over, you're spying in our minds to read the cards this whole time!’

  ’That’s a vile lie! Shibeen, tell them I'd never do such a thing!’

  ’Oh yes, you would...’ I stuttered.

  If it was a dream, I never wanted to awake again. I went closer to you and placed my hands on your shoulders. You drew me closer, lifted me up with one arm as if I was a child and placed me on your lap, giving me a wonderful smile, the one I thought I would never see again.

  ’I don't understand... Can someone explain to me what is going on? Dr. Jonas, your phone call...’ I said.

  The doctor took the floor, glancing at you with an expression rather guilty. ’I'm sorry that I alarmed you, but the... Mr. Vampire insisted that I keep the secret...A few hours ago, he woke up and asked for some AB positive blood bags. He asked for them politely... Then, he wanted to take a shower and asked for his hair to be cut... So, just like that, as if nothing had happened... He seemed …he seemed to be feeling fine, it seems fair to warn you... maybe I should have been a bit more precise. And then, he wanted to do an ultrasound on his chest... We saw no reason to deny him of his request...’

  ’And that’s how I discovered that, after everything, all my organs were still in their place. Not that I was worried about it anyway. A conversation with a certain person had had its good effect, I think. It was for the best, but I could have done without it, too. There are many more important things in my life and I am certain that don't want to lose them.’

  ’Nice speech, my friend. Now put down your card, we're waiting for you!’

  ’Me? It's not my turn. It's the doctor's turn here. I have already discarded!’

  ’What the fuck are you saying, vampire? Doctor, tell him!’

  ’Uhm... I'm a bit confused... I've lost count...’

  ’Doc, I wouldn't have expected that from you!’

  An uproarious burst of laughter from behind us made us turn. Mossad Colonel Adam Sharinsky of the Israeli Secret Service was really having a good time. As soon as he managed to regain control of himself, he commanded his men to put away their guns and leave the room, but the agents approached you and asked you for your autograph, something Greylord will use to fuck around with you until the end of time. Just before they were ready to kill you, and the next... bah.

  Human beings are crazy.

  ’Why?’ you asked with genuine surprise.

  ’The greatest Nazi hunter in history! And more, a vampire! We can't lose the opportunity now, can we?!’

  ’Officer, stop it and get out of here with your colleagues! Right now!’ roared Adam, and they obeyed without a murmur.

  ’I'm sorry, they're young. So, Atropos, or Raistan, as you prefer, I’m glad to find you in good shape. What about going home?’

  ’It's ok if this kind lady is willing to accompany me. However, Sharinsky, we have unfinished business between us, I believe.’

  You dropped me down from your lap and got up quickly, directing straight to the Colonel. I saw his eyes getting wide and his finger on the trigger of the gun contract.

  He took some steps back until he found himself with his back against the wall, his eyes darting around in search of some help. I moved towards you, but you waved at me as a gesture to invite me to wait. I noticed that you just wanted to play around, so I relaxed, especially when you put your hand on the gun and took it from him. The same could not be said for the two doctors who were trying to leave the room as quietly and as anonymously as possible. If they could have passed through the walls, they would have, I believe. Greylord seemed to be enjoying the scene immensely with his feet on the table and his hands behind his head.

  ’How dare you have sex with my woman, my maker, taking advantage of a fragile moment of real difficulty? Eh? Look at me, human!’

  Poor Adam brusquely raised his eyes to you but didn’t know what to say. Then, you bent down over on him and whispered something in his ear, which caused his eyes to get even wider. In the end, you burst into laughter and took the edge off the uncomfortable situa
tion. He chortled, a bit confused, and dried the sweat from his forehead with a flourish.

  ’Think about it, Colonel, and let me know. A whole new world could open up for you!’

  Adam rushed out of the room, his face flushed without even saying goodbye.

  ’What did you say to him?’

  ’Nothing important, really. So, my savior, are we going back home? Hey, dog, do you want a ride?’

  ’Why not, filthy parasite, why not?’ "

  EPILOGUE

  London, September 3

  Hey, nice to see you, it's Raistan here.

  Thanks to the detailed chronicles of my Shibeen, you haven't lost a single word.

  Once again, I owe her my life and my sanity, at least what little I still have left. I wanted to say goodbye to you, at least for now, and to inform you of the latest events that have animated my homecoming.

  Shibeen and I currently live together now in my SoHo apartment. I don't know how long it will last, be it years, months or days, but I want to enjoy every single minute and try to show her my gratitude for all that she's done for me, and not only on this occasion, but for my entire life. That was the sense of the letter that I had written to her before leaving and that she refused to open.

  Her brothers have gone back to their jobs, but not before showing me, in a very physical way, their joy of having me around again. If I were human, I'd still be black and blue. Thank you, boys, for the help you gave your sister during those very trying times.