Complete Works of Plautus

by Plautus

  By your own agency it was effected. Giving him the cup. This cup my hand presents to you, as it becomes a mistress to her love.

  TOXILUS

  Give it me.

  LEMNISELENE

  Take it. Gives him the cup.

  TOXILUS

  Here’s luck to him who envies me, and to him who rejoices in this joy. Drinks.

  Enter DORDALUS, at a distance.

  DORDALUS

  to himself . Those who are, and those who shall be, and those who have been, and those who are to be hereafter, all of them I singly by far surpass, in being the most wretched of men alive. I’m undone, ruined quite! This day has shone upon me the most unfortunate of days; that ruiner Toxilus has so outmanœuvred me, and has so laid waste my property! A whole cartload of silver, to my misfortune, have I upset, and lost, and have not that for which I did upset it. May all the Deities utterly confound that Persian, and all Persians, and all persons besides! in such a way has Toxilus, the wretch, conjured this up against me. Because I didn’t trust him for the money, for that reason has he contrived this plan against me, — a fellow, that, by my faith, if I only live, I’ll bring to torture and the fetters; if, indeed, his master ever returns here, as I trust he will. Catching sight of the REVELLERS. But what is it I see? Do look at that. What play is this? By my troth, they’re carousing here surely. I’ll accost them. He goes up to them. O worthy sir to TOXILUS , my greetings to you — you, too to LEMNISELENE , my worthy freed-woman.

  TOXILUS

  Why surely this is Dordalus.

  SAGARISTIO

  Invite him, then, to come.

  TOXILUS

  to DORDALUS . Come here, if you like. Aside. Come, let’s sing his praises. Aloud. Dordalus, most delightful fellow, welcome, here’s a place for you; take your place here pointing to a couch . Bring water for his feet to the SLAVES. Are you going to give it, lad? Is going to pat DORDALUS on the shoulder.

  DORDALUS

  Don’t you, please, be touching me with a single finger, lest I should fell you to the ground, you villain.

  PÆG.

  holding up a cup . And I this very instant will be striking out your eye with this tankard.

  DORDALUS

  What do you say, gallows, you wearer-away of the whip? How have you imposed upon me to-day? Into what embarrassments have you thrown me? How have I been baulked about the Persian?

  TOXILUS

  You’ll be off with your abuse from here, if you are wise.

  DORDALUS

  to LEMNISELENE . But, my worthy freed-woman, you knew of this, and concealed it from me.

  LEMNISELENE

  It’s folly for a person who can enjoy himself to turn to brawling in preference. ‘Twere more proper for you to arrange about those matters another time.

  DORDALUS

  My heart’s in flames.

  TOXILUS

  Give him a goblet, then; put out the fire, if his heart’s in flames, that his head mayn’t be burnt.

  DORDALUS

  You’re making sport of me, I find.

  TOXILUS

  Would you like a new playfellow for you, Pægnium? Pointing at DORDALUS. But sport on as you are wont, as this is a place of freedom. PÆGNIUM struts about round DORDALUS. O rare! you do stalk in a princely style and right merrily.

  PÆG.

  It befits me to be merry, and I’ve a longing to play this Procurer some pranks, since he’s deserving of it.

  TOXILUS

  As you commenced, proceed.

  PÆG.

  striking him . Take that, Procurer!

  DORDALUS

  I’m undone! he has almost knocked me down!

  PÆG.

  Hey — be on your guard again. Strikes at him.

  DORDALUS

  Sport on just as you please, while your master’s away from here.

  PÆG.

  skipping around him . Don’t you see how obedient I am to your request? But why, on the other hand, are not you obedient to my request as well, and why don’t you do that which I advise you?

  DORDALUS

  What’s that?

  PÆG.

  Do you take a stout rope for yourself, and go hang yourself.

  DORDALUS

  shaking his stick . Take you care, will you, that you don’t touch me, lest I give you a heavy return with this walking-stick. PÆG. Make use of it; I give you leave.

  TOXILUS

  Come, come, Pægnium, put an end to it.

  DORDALUS

  By my faith, I’ll utterly destroy you all.

  TOXILUS

  But he, who dwells above us, wishes you all ill, and will do you all ill. It’s not they that tell you so, but I.

  TOXILUS

  Come to the SLAVES , carry round the honied wine; give us drink in goblets quite full: it’s a long time now since we last drank; we’ve been athirst too long.

  DORDALUS

  May the Gods grant that you may drink that which may never pass through you.

  PÆG.

  I cannot forbear, Procurer, from at least dancing a hornpipe for you, which Hegea formerly composed. But just look if it quite pleases you. He dances.

  SAGARISTIO

  rising . I’d like also to repeat that one which Diodorus formerly composed in Ionia. Goes close to DORDALUS.

  DORDALUS

  I’ll be doing you a mischief, if you are not off!

  SAGARISTIO

  Still muttering, impudence? If you provoke me, I’ll just now be bringing you the Persian again.

  DORDALUS

  I’ faith, I’m silenced now. Why, you are the Persian that has been fleecing me to the quick!

  TOXILUS

  Hold your tongue, simpleton; this is his twin-brother.

  DORDALUS

  Is it he? Tox. Aye, and a very twin of twins.

  DORDALUS

  May the Gods and Goddesses rack both yourself and your twin-brother.

  SAGARISTIO

  Him, you mean, who has been ruining you; for I don’t deserve anything.

  DORDALUS

  But still, what he deserves, I hope that that may prove to your undoing.

  TOXILUS

  to SAGARISTIO . Come, if you like, let’s have some sport with this fellow, unless he isn’t deemed worthy of it.

  SAGARISTIO

  Just now it’s right.

  LEMNISELENE

  aside . But it isn’t proper for me.

  TOXILUS

  aside . For the reason, I suppose, that he made no difficulties when I purchased you.

  LEMNISELENE

  aside . But still ——

  TOXILUS

  aside . No “still.” Beware, then, of a mishap, will you, and obey me. It becomes you to be heedful of my orders; for, i’ faith, had it not been for me and my protection, he would before long have made a street-walker of you. But such are some of those who have gained their freedom, unless they thwart their patron, they don’t appear to themselves free enough, or wise enough, or honest enough, unless they oppose him, unless they abuse him, unless they are found ungrateful to him who has been kind.

  LEMNISELENE

  aside . I’ troth, your kindnesses command me to pay obedience to your commands.

  TOXILUS

  aside . I clearly am your patron, who paid the money for you to that man pointing to DORDALUS ; in return for that, I choose that he shall be made sport of.

  LEMNISELENE

  aside . For my part, I’ll do my utmost.

  DORDALUS

  For sure, these persons are consulting to do something, I know not what, to injure me.

  SAGARISTIO

  Hark you.

  TOXILUS

  What do you say?

  SAGARISTIO

  Is this person here, Dordalus the Procurer, who deals in free women? Is this he who was formerly st stalwart?

  DORDALUS

  What means this? PÆGNIUM strikes him. Oh, oh! he has given me a slap in the face! I’ll do you a mischief. S
hakes his fist at him.

  TOXILUS

  But we have done you one, and shall do it again too.

  DORDALUS

  PÆGNIUM pinching him . Oh, oh! he’s pinching my behind.

  PÆG.

  Of course; it has been many a time twitched before this.

  DORDALUS

  Are you still prating, you bit of a boy?

  LEMNISELENE

  to DORDALUS . My patron, do, there’s a dear, come in-doors to dinner.

  DORDALUS

  My lump of laziness, are you now scoffing at me?

  LEMNISELENE

  What, because I invite you to enjoy yourself?

  DORDALUS

  I don’t want to enjoy myself.

  LEMNISELENE

  Then don’t.

  TOXILUS

  How then? The six hundred didrachms, how are they? What disturbances they do cause.

  DORDALUS

  aside . I’m utterly undone! They understand full well how to return the compliment to an enemy.

  TOXILUS

  Have we now had satisfaction enough?

  DORDALUS

  I confess it; I hold up my hands to you.

  TOXILUS

  And, ere long, you shall be holding them beneath the bilboes. Be off in-doors.

  SAGARISTIO

  To perdition!

  DORDALUS

  to the AUDIENCE . Have these fellows here worked me in too slight a degree? Goes into his house.

  TOXILUS

  calling after him . Keep in mind that you met with a Toxilus. To the AUDIENCE. Spectators, kindly fare you well. The Procurer is demolished. Grant us your applause.

  POENULUS

  Translated by Henry Thomas Riley

  Poenulus, ‘The Little Carthaginian’, was most likely written between 195 and 189 BC and is noteworthy for containing text in Carthaginian Punic, spoken by the character Hanno in the fifth act.

  The plot concerns Agorastocles, who is in love with Adelphasium, a slave belonging to the pimp Lycus. Like Agorastocles, she and her sister Anterastilis were stolen from Carthage when they were children and sold into slavery. Agorastocles was purchased not to become a slave, but rather adopted as a son, whereas the girls were bought to become prostitutes. The action deals with Milphio, the slave of Agorastocles, and his attempts to help his master obtain Adelphasium.

  CONTENTS

  THE SUBJECT

  THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.

  ACT I.

  ACT 1I.

  ACT III.

  ACT IV.

  ACT V.

  THE SUBJECT

  THERE were two cousins, citizens of Carthage; the daughters of one of them named Hanno, were stolen in their childhood, and being carried off to Calydon, were there purchased by Lycus, a Procurer. In the same place there is living Agorastocles, the son of the cousin of Hanno, who, having been stolen in his infancy, was sold to a wealthy old man, and finally adopted by him. Here, without knowing their relationship, Agorastocles falls in love with Adelphasium, the elder of the sisters, while Anthemonides, a military officer, entertains a passion for Anterastylis, the younger sister. The Procurer being at enmity with Agorastocles, the latter, with the assistance of his servant Milphio, devises a plan for outwitting him. Collybiscus, the bailiff of Agorastocles, is dressed up as a foreigner, and, a sum of money being given him for the purpose, pretends to take up his abode in the house of Lycus. On this being effected, by previous arrangement Agorastocles comes with witnesses, and accuses the Procurer of harbouring his slave, and encouraging him to rob his master. At this conjuncture, Hanno arrives at Calydon in search of his daughters. He discovers them, and finds that Agorastocles is the son of his deceased cousin. The play ends with the removal of the damsels from the house of Lycus, who is brought to task for his iniquities; and Adelphasium is promised by her father in marriage to Agorastocles.

  THE ACROSTIC ARGUMENT.

  [Supposed to have been written by Priscian the Grammarian.]

  A BOY (Puer), seven years old, is stolen at Carthage. An old man, a hater (Osco) of women, adopts him when bought, and (Et) makes him his heir. His two kinswomen and their nurse (Nutrix) are also carried off. Lycus buys them and torments (Vexat) Agorastocles in love. But he palms off his bailiff with some gold upon the Procurer (Lenoni), and so convicts him of theft. Hanno, the Carthaginian, comes (Venit), discovers him to be the son of his cousin, and recognizes his own (Suas) daughters whom he had lost. PROLOGUE

  I HAVE a mind to imitate the Achilles of Aristarchus from that Tragedy I’ll take for myself the opening: “Be silent, and hold your tongues, and give attention.” The head-manager it is who bids you listen, that with a good grace they may be seated on the benches, both those who have come hungry and those who have come well filled. You who have eaten, by far the most wisely have you done: you who have not eaten, do you be filled with the Play. But he who has something ready for him to eat, ’tis really great folly in him, for our sakes, to come here to sit fasting. Rise up, cryer! bespeak attention among the people: I’m now waiting to see if you know your duty. Exercise your voice, by means of which you subsist and find your clothes; for unless you do cry out, in your silence starvation will be creeping upon you. Well, now sit down again, that you may earn double wages. Heaven grant success! do you obey my commands. Let no worn-out debauchee be sitting in the front of the stage, nor let the lictor or his rods be noisy in the least; and let no seat-keeper be walking about before people’s faces, nor be showing any to their seats, while the actor is on the stage. Those who have been sleeping too long at home in idleness, it’s right for them now to stand contentedly, or else let them master their drowsiness. Don’t let slaves be occupying the seats, that there may be room for those who are free; or else let them pay down the money for their places; if that they cannot do, let them be off home, and escape a double evil, lest they be variegated both here with scourges, and with thongs at home, if they’ve not got things in due order when their masters come home. Let nurses keep children, baby-bantlings, at home, and let no one bring them to see the Play; lest both they themselves may be athirst, and the children may die with hunger; and that they mayn’t be squealing about here, in their hungry fits, just like kids. Let the matrons see the piece in silence, in silence laugh, and let them refrain from screaming here with their shrill voices; their themes for gossip let them carry off home, so as not to be an annoyance to their husbands both here and at home. And, as regards the managers of the performance, let not the palm of victory be given to any player wrongfully, nor by reason of favour let any be driven out of doors, in order that the inferior may be preferred to the good ones. And this, too, besides, which I had almost forgotten: while the performance is going on, do you, lacqueys, make an onset on the cookshops; now, while there’s an opportunity, now, while the tarts are smoking hot, hasten there. These injunctions, which have been given as the manager’s command, Heaven prosper them! troth now, let every one remember for himself. Now, in its turn, I wish to go back to the plot, that you may be equally knowing with myself. Its site, its limits, its boundaries I’ll now lay down; for that purpose have I been appointed surveyor. But, unless it’s troublesome, I wish to give you the name of this Comedy: but if it is an annoyance, I’ll tell you still, since I have leave from those who have the management. This Comedy is called the “Carthaginian;” in the Latin, Plautus has called it “the Pulse-eating Kinsman.” You have the name, then; now hear the rest of the story; for here will this plot be judged of by you. Its own stage is the proper place for every plot; you are the critics; I pray you lend attention. There were two cousins-german, Carthaginians, of a very high and very wealthy family. One of them is still alive, the other’s dead. The more confidently do I inform you of this, because the undertaker told me so, who anointed him for the pile. But the only son there was of that old man who died, being separated from his father, was stolen at Carthage when seven years old, six years, in fact, before his father died. When he saw that his only son was lost to him, he hi
mself, from grief, fell sick; he made this cousin-german of his his heir; he himself departed for Acheron without taking leave. The person who stole the child, carried him off to Calydon, and sold him here to a certain rich old man for his master, one desirous of children, but a hater of women. This old man, without knowing it, bought the son of his host, that same child, and adopted him as his own son, and made him his heir when he himself departed this life. This young man is dwelling here in this house. Pointing to the house of AGORASTOCLES. Once more do I return to Carthage. If you want to give any commission, or anything to be managed — unless a person gives the money, he will be mistaken; but he who does give it will be very much more mistaken. But this father’s cousin of his at Carthage, the old man who is still alive, had two daughters. The one when in her fifth year, the other in her fourth, were lost, together with their nurse, from the walks in the suburbs. The person who kidnapped them, carried them off to Anactorium, and sold them all, both nurse and girls, for ready money, to a man (if a Procurer is a man) the most accursed of men, as many as the earth contains; but do you yourselves now form a conjecture what sort of man it is whose name is Lycus. He removed, not long ago, from Anactorium, where he formerly lived, to Calydon here, for the sake of his business. Be dwells in that house. Pointing to the house of LYCUS. This young man is dying distractedly in love with one of them, his kinswoman, not knowing that fact; neither is he aware who she is, nor has he ever touched her (so much does the Procurer hamper him); neither has he hitherto ever had any improper connexion with her, nor ever taken her home to his house; nor has that Procurer been willing to send her there. Because he sees that he is in love, he wishes to touch this man for a good haul. A certain Captain, who is desperately in love with her, is desirous to buy this younger one to be his mistress. But their father, the Carthaginian, since he lost them, has been continually seeking them in every quarter, by sea and land. When he has entered any city, at once he seeks out all the courtesans, wherever each of them is living; he gives her gold, and prolongs the night in his enquiries; after that he asks whence she comes, of what country, whether she was made captive or kidnapped, born of what family, who her parents were. So diligently and so skilfully does he seek for his daughters. He knows all languages, too; but, though he knows them, he pretends not to know them: what need is there of talking? He is a Carthaginian all over. He, in the evening of yesterday, came into harbour here on board ship. The father of these girls, the same is the father’s cousin of this young man. Now d’ye take this? If you do take it, draw it out: take care not to break it asunder; pray, let it proceed. Moving as if to go. Dear me! I had almost forgotten to say the rest. He who adopted this young man as his own son, the same was the guest of that Carthaginian, this old man’s father. He will come here to-day, and discover his daughters here, and this person, his cousin’s son, as indeed I’ve learnt. He, I say, who’ll come to-day, will find his daughters and this his cousin’s son. But after this, farewell! — attend; I’m off; I now intend to become another man. As to what remains, some others remain who’ll explain all to you. I’ll go and dress. With kindly feelings do you then recognize me. Farewell! and give me your aid, that Salvation may prove propitious to you.