Aloft

by J F Rogers

  “How?”

  “Talk to Him. Sing songs praising Him, reminding you He’s with you.” Sully’s little chuckle hacked into another cough. “And Morrigan won’t be able to tolerate it. It might push her out of your mind.”

  That sounded more doable. Keep a song in my head. Too bad I didn’t have my cell phone. “There’s one more problem.”

  “What’s that?” Cataleen rubbed my back.

  “Those fasgadair knew where to find us… and not to bite anyone. I think I’ve already given Morrigan all the information she needs.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  ◊◊◊

  I WISHED I HAD never confessed to being possessed. Well, not possessed exactly. Spelled? In any case, it had the same effect. Word spread around the camp. Everyone avoided me as we packed up. Suspicious glances drifted my way, mouths silenced, and people shifted away, out of hearing.

  But Morrigan wasn’t with me now. At least, I hoped. If only I could transform into a falcon and take to the sky. But that might tempt her to join me. And the view I would have as a bird would give away far too much.

  Or were we being paranoid? What more information could I offer? Fasgadair attacked. And it wasn’t a rogue pod. They were strategic. And, with Morrigan connected to them, she undoubtedly knew our location. She was behind the attack. As long as the fasgadair follow us, she’d always know.

  But I couldn’t blame them for treating me like a pariah. It wasn’t me they feared. I would avoid someone possessed by Morrigan, too, and insist they didn’t come with us. I should be grateful they didn’t plan to leave me behind. Or did they?

  Would it be better for everyone if I left?

  My headache was gone. No chills. No evil thoughts. Well, no Morrigan-sized evil thoughts.

  We loaded up and headed out, traipsing through the forest, surrounded by selkie. But today I had a much wider girth around me. My mother stayed close. Kai stuck to me like a lamprey on a fish. Alastar and Declan hovered in case we needed the triplet fire. Did Morrigan know about that too? Probably.

  A selkie flanking me in the woods caught my eye and averted his gaze as if I might ignite him. I hated being so disconnected. Worse, I hated not knowing if they were right to shun me. What if Morrigan had merely been experimenting before? What if she’d perfected the mind-link? Was that why I no longer sensed her? Was she planning to use me as an unwitting spy?

  No. That made no sense. She had her fasgadair minions. Morrigan had heinous plans. She must.

  God, protect me from whatever she is planning.

  Since we’d gotten a late start, we kept marching straight through lunch. The earthy scent of damp soil hung in the air, suppressing my appetite. Deep woods surrounded us, making it seem as if traveled in circles. But no, we followed the setting sun, jumping roots and felled trees. And it was wet here as if it had rained though we hadn’t seen so much as a drop, just the darkened sky looming in the distance.

  “Water!” the crowd shouted as we neared a brook.

  We paused to drink and refill our leather canteens, then continued.

  My stomach had stopped grumbling hours before the group halted and dropped their loads. When we prepared to make camp, my mother, my brothers, Kai, Sully, and I had our own little camp separate from everyone else. Rowan, Maili, and Ji Ah had abandoned me. Not that I minded Ji Ah distancing herself from me… and Kai. At least this quarantine brought some benefits.

  Rowan’s laughter wafted my way. I glimpsed her packing her things through the trees with Evan. My old roommate. Her avoidance stung. At one time, she wanted me near for friendship and protection. But now… I understood the princess’s concern that I might subject her to an evil spy with supernatural powers and witchcraft.

  But I missed her. She and Evan seemed to be friendlier with one another. My curiosity begged for information. If nothing had changed, I’d be pumping her every chance I got. She liked Evan. Now that he would be king when he returned to the selkie lands, did that open the possibility of a relationship for them? Would she have a chance to marry for love and her country? Or was Evan sticking around because she understood what it was like to take a position for which she felt unworthy? Was she just helping him become a king?

  But I couldn’t find out without asking someone else to pry. Not until I somehow cleansed myself of this evil being and convinced everyone else Morrigan was gone.

  The wind carried more laughter our way. I wanted to be present and happy with those I had near. Instead, the temptation to feel like a leper and give in to my self-pity tendencies overwhelmed me. Was this part of Morrigan’s diabolical plan? Divide and conquer? Pick us off as we approached?

  Once the smaller tent my mother and I shared was erected, I retreated to my solitude. I lay on my bedroll watching the shadows dancing from the fire outside, listening to the merriment, feeling sorry for myself. Morrigan wasn’t here, but she’d probably accomplished what she hoped. She’d built a wall between me and my friends. And, by focusing on them and not being happy and present with those who remained, I was allowing her to sever all my relationships.

  I mustn’t let that happen. I had to be content with those who stuck by me. They deserved my loyalty.

  ****

  Shouts and thundering feet pounding the dirt and cracking twigs woke me. I jumped off my bedding. “What’s happening?”

  “Probably more fasgadair.” Cataleen threw me a cloak. “Put this on and come with me.” She covered herself, peeked out the tent, motioned me to follow, and slipped into the night. Alastar and Declan met us at the fire.

  “Where are they?” I asked.

  “We don’t know, but you’re coming with us for a perimeter check. Stay close.” They took off past my tent, and I hurried to keep up.

  We came upon a soldier cradling a wounded man’s head. He watched us with vacant eyes. “He’d dead.” No emotion inflected his voice. He must be in shock.

  “A fasgadair?” Declan asked.

  Life returned to the man’s eyes—no, horror. His mouth opened into a giant O. “Get her out of here!”

  “She’s here to help,” Alastar growled, glaring as if he might pick a fight with this poor guy holding his dead friend.

  “She’s the reason for all this.” He let his friend’s head slide off his lap as he stood. Crouching, he donned his weapon and aimed it at me. “If it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t be dead.” He waved the dagger at his friend, then poised it, ready to strike me should I step closer. “I’m warning you. Back away.”

  I raised my hands and took a step back.

  Declan pushed Alastar back, then grabbed my hand and tugged me away. “She’s not your enemy.”

  Alastar followed in a huff. “Why’d you let him talk to her that way?”

  “What do you want me to say to a grieving man, Alastar? There’s no point.”

  Alastar snorted and hurried along to stay within arm’s reach. I agreed with Declan, but I appreciated Alastar’s desire to protect me. The man’s words stung, but he wasn’t in his right mind. Or wrong.

  We continued our search. I sniffed. No electric fasgadair scent. Perhaps they were aware of their unique scent and retreated downwind after their attacks. Assuming they’d followed the same MO and killed all the men standing watch.

  “I don’t get it.” I kicked a pebble in my path. “Why do they just keep killing our watchmen? Why don’t they attack our camp?”

  “In Morrigan’s mind it makes perfect sense.” Alastar scoffed. “She already depleted her army by sending so many to Bandia, then to the selkie lands. She doesn’t have enough warriors to spare. I guarantee she’s keeping them close by to defend her. And she loves mental warfare. Instilling fear and causing division. Picking us off night-by-night accomplishes that goal.”

  My stomach churned. What else had such a devious mind planned? “I wonder what she’s planning for me.” I lowered my voice to a mumble. “If I arrive.”

  “Don’t worry.” Alastar p
atted my shoulder. “She wouldn’t do such things if she weren’t afraid. And we have God on our side.”

  With the loss of Turas and the element of surprise with our blood and the triplet fire, that was all we had going for us. God, I know You’re all we need. Help me truly believe it.

  My foot caught on something, and I pitched forward. Pots and pans clanged, disturbing the quiet. A troop of selkie came running, weapons poised.

  “It’s just us.” Declan held his hands up. “Fallon tripped on an alarm. We’re checking the perimeter.”

  A selkie with menacing eyes threw us a murderous look. “Be more careful.”

  Grumbling, the group returned to camp.

  Declan helped me stand.

  I brushed dirt from my pants and stepped over the taut string between the trees. “Sorry, guys. I know I’m not privy to the plans anymore, but someone could’ve warned me the woods are booby-trapped.”

  “Booby-trap?” Declan’s lips matched his words. “Oh. You mean the alarms.”

  “I told you they were useless against fasgadair,” Alastar said.

  “We had to try.” Declan huffed.

  After circling the entire border, we didn’t find much except dead bodies and a clear message—no one wanted me around. They all saw me as the reason they were getting picked off each night. They looked at me as if I were Morrigan herself. Twelve had died tonight. They must’ve doubled the night watch.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  ◊◊◊

  THE NEXT DAY WE walked in silence. As much as I wanted to focus on the loved ones who remained, I hyper-focused on those I’d lost. The lost camaraderie. The trust.

  “What are you thinking?” Kai adjusted the pack on his back and stepped over a felled tree.

  “Nothing much.” I followed him over the trunk.

  “We’re nearly there.”

  I put a finger to my lips. “Don’t tell me anything about where we are.”

  He laughed. “Even if Morrigan showed up, knowing we’re nearly there isn’t saying much.”

  “But I know where we’re going. I wish I didn’t, but we planned this before we left. And we’ve known all along.” I didn’t dare say the words Somalta Caverns, but the more I tried to avoid them, the more they begged to come to mind. “How am I going to keep my thoughts from Morrigan?”

  “Who says she’ll try to take over your mind again?”

  “Oh, she will. I’m sure.”

  The giant army kept cutting through the woods. She didn’t need to now. She knew our whereabouts. And our weaknesses.

  ****

  That night, I stood near the same shore I always visited in my dreams. But the beach where my mother first stood, then Declan, was now empty. The popping lights swirled, forming a window into someone’s mind on my left. It had to be Morrigan. What was she up to? I turned toward it. No. Wait. If I looked into the mirror, would that allow her complete access to my mind? Sully had warned me about this last year when I told him about the dreams with Aodan. He’d warned me to run.

  So I ran, keeping the beach to my left and the window behind me. The scenery never changed. I wasn’t gaining traction. I dared look behind me. The window was inches away. A hand with pale splayed fingers stretched through the window.

  Terror seized my heart. Like a spooked horse, I bolted, but the probing hand grasped me. Then the other hand. They tugged as I tried to run. Morrigan’s face emerged, a sick smile crinkling the corners of her dead eyes. She writhed free from the window.

  Without someone to wake me, would I remain in this maddening dream forever? Would Morrigan occupy my body while I remained trapped here?

  Morrigan twisted me around. Her smile making me want to projectile vomit onto her face. Her evil glee filled the space, mingling and clashing with my fear. She held my collar, bared her fangs, and went in for the bite.

  I woke with a start and yanked my legs, clutching them close as if Morrigan might grab my feet.

  My mother sprang from her blankets and grabbed me. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m okay. I just—”

  “Had a nightmare.”

  I nodded.

  “About Morrigan?” She touched my forehead.

  Nodding again, I gave way to tears. My mother hugged me close and smoothed my hair.

  “Get away from me.” I pushed her with surprising force. My tone was unrecognizable, even to myself. I’d never sounded so malevolent.

  Her eyes widened and filled with horror. She crab-walked away.

  “I’m sorry. I—”

  “I’m getting Sully. Don’t move.” She stood and threw a cloak around her shoulders. Then dashed through the exit.

  I flopped back onto my bedding. What happened? Had I brought Morrigan with me through the mind-link? Was she with me now? I didn’t sense her evil. Just that one rush of anger at my mother and the sudden burst of strength that didn’t seem to be my own.

  Was I possessed?

  If that were true, if Morrigan was stowed away in my mind, I’d have to be careful what I thought. I mustn’t think of—No. Kai. Yes. Think about Kai. I pictured his smile, his dimply smile, and my heart eased.

  But something else squirmed.

  Cataleen returned with Sully. He stumbled in his haste to reach me and held his hand up to my cheek. His hand felt cold. Ice cold. I stared into his gray eyes as he seemed to peer into mine. His blind eyes saw into the spiritual realm. Could he see my soul? Could he see Morrigan within me?

  Something inside writhed like a snake dipped in acid. Such torturous agony emerged from the pit of my being, rising to the surface. “Aaaaagh.” My body twitched, then convulsed. Sully grabbed my head. My mother helped hold me. My vision failed me, but my mind was all too aware that my body, though it felt as if encased in concrete, flailed out of control.

  “Sing your song, Fallon.” His voice held a power I’d never heard from him.

  What song was he talking about? Oh yeah.

  Standing on the promises that cannot fail,

  When the howling storms of doubt and fear assail,

  By the living Word of God I shall prevail,

  Standing on the promises of God.

  The convulsing stopped. The thing within me slithered away, but not entirely. It—she—had burrowed someplace deep within my flesh. She was still there.

  “Praise God. Thank You, Lord,” Sully said, his eyes heavenward.

  I shivered. My body weighed a ton, and I desperately needed a nap. “She’s not gone.” My jaw didn’t want to cooperate, slowing my words.

  My mother wrinkled her nose as if she’d caught a whiff of something unpleasant and placed a blanket on me.

  “No.” He frowned. “It’s not that simple. But she’s deterred. That’s enough for now.”

  “What was that? Was that a seizure?” I tried to prop myself up on my elbows, but flopped back to the bedding.

  “It appears your body is attempting to reject Morrigan’s presence. You are a child of the One True God. Evil can’t live in a transformed spirit that God occupies. She’ll never gain complete control. But she’s trying.”

  He tapped his chin and tipped his face skyward. Then squinting, he returned his sightless gaze my way. “This isn’t a perfect illustration, but perhaps it will help.” He shifted his body on the floor, settling in. “Imagine a cup of oil and water. You’re familiar with how they respond to one another, correct?”

  “They don’t mix.” I smacked my lips. My tongue tasted like chalk.

  “Correct. Envision your flesh as oil and your spirit as water. Your spirit is occupied by God. No evil thing can penetrate it. But your flesh can be manipulated. Other oils can come in and intermingle. Envision Morrigan as another oil.”

  “She’s trying to mix with me?”

  “Aye. She wants to gain full control, but she can’t. She can’t mix with the water—the Living Water. So, she’s infusing herself in your flesh. She retreated to avoid touch
ing the water—God. This is why you’re not sensing her as you had before.”

  “But what made me freak out?”

  He cocked his head. “You mean convulse?”

  “Yeah.” I so wished they understood my lingo.

  “I believe that was caused by contact with your spirit and their rejection of each other.”

  “And that’s why she doesn’t like when you’re near or when I sing a song for God?” My eyes felt heavy. But I fought sleep. I needed to hear this. And I needed Sully to stay as long as possible.

  “Or pray.” He nodded. “When you do those things… and, apparently when I’m near, you’re closer to God, you’re more connected with your God-filled spirit than your flesh. Let’s say it floods your body with more water, more of God. The contact causes her torment. And when you’re full of God, she has less room. It squeezes her in. She had no choice but to retreat. But you’re right. She’s still there. You must continue to resist her.”

  I spotted my brothers by the doorway. How long had they been there?

  “Everything all right?” Declan tiptoed closer, Alastar at his heels.

  “As right as it can be.” I fought the exhaustion and dragged myself up to sit.

  “We heard the commotion and thought there was another fasgadair attack.” He gave me a sheepish grin. “I hope you don’t mind—”

  “You overheard everything?”

  He quirked his lips and held up his hands, palms outward.

  I sighed. “Doesn’t matter. If everyone fears me, they might as well have a good reason, right?”

  My brothers huddled beside me. Each put an arm around me, yet the fire didn’t ignite. Perhaps we were gaining control. Or I was too tired. No, they weren’t connected to each other. Duh.

  “How am I supposed to do anything? We haven’t even arrived yet, and Morrigan has already whisked Turas away, isolated me, and uncovered all our secret weapons. And now, she’s taken up residence within me.” I fought the urge to tear apart my flesh to purge her from my system.

  Shouting came from the night.