Aloft

by J F Rogers

  Even so, I hated to see him there. Lifeless. I almost wished for the blindfold. But I was grateful they conceded and let me continue without it. It really was unnecessary. I wasn’t Morrigan’s only source.

  But, judging from the glares coming my way, many didn’t care.

  A minty breeze swept through, clearing my sinuses. I tugged my sweatshirt sleeves over my hands. Good thing I packed warmer clothes.

  Several graves surrounded Sully’s with men I didn’t recognize. Were these more from last night? They wouldn’t carry our dead with us, would they? No. There weren’t enough gravesites for that. Had they been holding funerals each day while I waited in my tent?

  It shouldn’t be such a nice day. It should be dark and stormy.

  Evan emerged from the woods with Rowan, Maili, and Ji Ah. His blue eyes saddened when they spotted me. He quirked his lips and embraced me. “He will be missed.”

  Kai came to my side, and Evan released me.

  “Aye.” Declan drummed his fingers on his legs. “But I have to admit, as nice a day as this is, I envy Sully’s scenery right now.”

  Wolf loosed a low whistle. “I can’t imagine what he must be seeing.”

  The thought of Sully seeing anything brought a smile that nothing, not even Ji Ah’s adorable pout could thwart.

  Rowan gave me a quick hug. “I wish I could see you more. But, under the circumstances… ”

  “I get it. But what I don’t understand is why you’re talking to me now.”

  “I wanted you to know that I still support and care about you, particularly on this day.” She waved toward the open graves.

  King Abracham arrived, head down. He threw me a sad smile as he passed, then stopped beside Sully’s grave. Once everyone settled in among the graves, he cleared his throat. “I must admit, I’m tired of funerals. I don’t want to keep mourning losses. But each of these men understood the risks. Each one sacrificed himself for a greater cause. And they will be remembered for their sacrifice.”

  He droned on, taking time to talk about each man lying in his grave. And I should have focused on his speech, to appreciate each one. But my gaze kept drifting toward Sully. And I kept reliving moments with him, from the first moment I saw him and his gray eyes scared me, to the conversation before I flew off to fight Alastar, to all the times in between. He’d been like another grandfather. A wise old man. No, he was way more than that. He was a prophet. He’d been my connection to God on earth.

  Now prayer would have to suffice. Would that be enough?

  My ears perked up at Sully’s name.

  “A mighty man of God who guided us to this point. With the power God bestowed upon him, he restored King Aleksander’s health. It warms my heart that we should remember Sully and put his body in its resting place on such a day. For this is just his earthly host. His soul is shining in a more beautiful, perfect place God prepared for him in his real, forever home. His eyesight is better than ever. He has no pain, no sorrow, and no regret. The true King has welcomed Sully into His arms.” He bowed his head.

  “God. Thank You for all these men. Thank You for their sacrifice. You brought them into this world. You determined their steps. You knew their final day when they took their first breath. Thank You for giving them to us at such a time to see us into this final battle against Morrigan. Go before us and bless this mission, I pray, amen.”

  Morrigan seemed subdued. Or she left. Either way, I no longer felt rage. Hers or mine. Exhaustion and sorrow had settled into my bones, rendering me incapable of anger.

  A gust of wind swirled through, sending leaves dancing. I gripped the ends of my sleeves, shutting off airflow, and hugged myself, then took my turn beside Sully’s grave. No worry lines creased his face. He was at peace. “We’ll be together again, Sully.” Possibly soon. I wiped tears with my sleeve.

  God, I don’t know what Your plans are. Forgive me for depending on others and not enough on You. I know You have a plan. You told Sully about me long before my birth. You brought me here. You led me to my family. You restored Declan and Alastar and so many others. Forgive me for failing to trust You after all You’ve done. You’ve proven yourself time and again. Help me trust You.

  The leaves danced, a refreshing minty scent cleansed my lungs, and peace washed over me. Morrigan still had access to my mind. But her abilities had limits. There would be difficulties to come. But God never promised there would be no difficulties. And, though I hated to admit it, those problems brought me closer to Him.

  “Goodbye, Sully. I’ll see you in paradise.” I followed the procession, then broke off to return to my tent.

  Kai stood outside the entrance, his arms tight across his chest.

  I smiled.

  “A smile?” He threw an arm over my shoulder. “That’s something I haven’t seen in a while.”

  “Something I wouldn’t have thought possible while Morrigan is still haunting my head.”

  “What’s different? You seem different.”

  I breathed in the fresh air. “God. Even though things have gotten worse and they’ll get even worse still, He’ll see me through. Somehow.”

  Kai squeezed me. “I need to get to know this God of yours.”

  “He can be yours too. If you let Him.”

  “How? Do I need to become a fasgadair and have you bring me back?”

  I laughed, then stopped when I saw his face. He was serious. Then again, I suppose it was confusing. I’d come to God through His Son in Saltinat, in person. Not something most people experience. The redeemed came to God through their transformation. Again, only made possible through His Son. But what did it take for people in this realm?

  Valter’s face flashed in my mind. Duh! Why was I overthinking things? I hadn’t given it a second thought when Valter lay dying. So, I told Kai about man’s fall, their need for redemption, and God’s plan to save them, all the while wondering how much I butchered the story.

  “So, what do I do?”

  “Do you believe Jesus can save you?”

  His arm no longer around me, he nodded.

  “You can ask Him to save you now. Or later if you’d prefer to be alone.”

  “No. I want you with me. What do I do?”

  “Just talk to God. Don’t overthink it.” Like I tend to.

  Jerking back a step, he looked around. “Where is He? Will He hear me?”

  “He’s everywhere. You can always talk to Him, and He’ll hear you. You can even talk to Him in your mind.”

  “Like thinking?”

  “Yup. He knows your thoughts.”

  Kai raised an eyebrow. “What do I say?”

  “Whatever comes to your heart.”

  He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and gave me a sheepish grin, showing off his dimple. “God, I want to know You. I’ve made mistakes. Please forgive me. Fallon says Your Son can help me, and I believe her. So, please save me. Give me what Fallon has. Fill me with Your Spirit.” He peeked at me. “Is that all?”

  My heart exploded with joy, and tears streamed down my face. “That’s all.” I gave him a big hug. “Welcome to the family, brother.”

  “Brother?” He stiffened.

  “Spiritually. We’re both God’s children now. That makes you my brother.”

  “As long as we can still get married, that’s fine.”

  Married?

  He blushed, then planted a kiss on my cheek.

  Seriously, though… married? How did these things work in Ariboslia? Or among the selkie? Did he plan on asking me? I was only eighteen. Way too young to get married. And marriage was the last thing I needed to concern myself with now.

  He flashed me a wide smile, his dimples deeper than ever. Why’d he have to be so cute?

  Chapter Thirty-One

  ◊◊◊

  THE COUNCIL LET ME continue our journey without a blindfold, but I had to remain separate from the others, particularly leaders like Rowan. And they still
kept me out of the loop. But anything was better than carrying on without my sight. And, since Ji Ah and Maili were her tentmates, it kept Ji Ah away from Kai. That was a plus. But the ache in my heart over losing Sully followed me like a shark on a blood trail. Nothing would shake it.

  If naysayers who wanted me blindfolded existed, I saw why they lost the fight. “Are we heading into that?” I pointed to the jagged-sided mountain. Had someone split it in two? Steep walls flanked either side of the river.

  “Aye.” Declan forged on ahead. “’Tis easier to walk through the canyon than scale the mountain.”

  Kai and I eyed each other with uncertainty, then followed Declan and Alastar across the grassy valley to rocky terrain and steep inclines I wouldn’t have been able to scale without my sight. The path turned into a ledge, requiring us to walk single file. The river raged two feet below, splashing my feet when we rounded a bend. I slipped on a spot slick with algae. Kai caught my pack from behind. My heart raced as I paused in the backward position and gulped at the whitewater rapids. Kai’s wide eyes looming over my head, we both exhaled, and he nudged me to stand.

  I’d fallen behind Declan, but I didn’t hurry to catch up. That slip was a wake-up call. I’d rather fall behind than into the river. The ledge narrowed, forcing me to turn and hug the mountainside and shimmy sideways. My pack felt heavier than usual, threatening to pull me backward. My knuckles whitened in a death grip on the rocks as I forced myself not to look down. Just keep going. Inch by inch.

  How much longer would this nightmare hike last? No amount of blazing the safe trails in Bandia prepared me for this. Why hadn’t I at least attempted the more challenging courses? Sweat beaded along my brow. A drop dripped by my eye, begging me to wipe it away. But I didn’t dare. One slipup on this ridge, and I’d topple into the turbulent water with a pack that would likely sink me.

  God, help us through this.

  I navigated the shelf for another fifteen minutes or so, at points having little more than my toes with a foothold. Then shelf expanded and dropped to a pebbled beach. I found an empty spot, discarded my pack, and wiped the sweat that had been driving me insane. Normally so many people packed together on a beach would bother me, but I was too relieved that I could move somewhat freely. I drank, emptying my canteen, then plunged it into the rushing river, letting the icy water chill and redden my hand.

  I wiped my dripping hand on my jeans and returned to my pack and flopped down, taking the burden off my aching feet. I removed my shoes and knocked them free of the debris hitching a ride. If only I’d brought another pair of shoes. My toes poked through the canvas. And the soles at the ball of my feet wore thin. I rubbed my feet.

  A selkie approached. He looked familiar. Right. He’d accused me of killing his friend. My breath caught and held while I tried to read him as he neared. His lack of facial expression told me nothing.

  He knelt beside me, and I stiffened, braced for some sort of attack. But none came. He picked up one of my shoes and put something inside. “This leather will help until you get new shoes.” He grasped my other shoe and did the same.

  My mouth moved, but words wouldn’t come. As he stood and started away, I choked out, “Th–thank you.”

  He turned, nodded, and continued on his way.

  I wiped a tear away. Why would he help me? Did this mean he didn’t blame me anymore?

  I put my shoes back on. The leather padding he’d tucked in there rounded from the soles of my feet over my toes, providing plenty of protection. I fought the urge to cry. Why had his kind gesture made me so emotional?

  ****

  The sky darkened, and we stopped to make camp. With no firewood or meat, we went without fires. So, we drank, refreshed our flasks, and ate jerky and biscuits. My stomach rumbled for more.

  We laid out our bedding in a single file beside the stream. I pulled a few stones out from underneath only to find more rocks. Giving up, I rolled up my T-shirts underneath my head and tried to adjust myself into the most comfortable position possible.

  The moon peeked out from the mountain ridge above. An owl hooted. My heart leapt. Was there a fasgadair among us? No. It wouldn’t make its presence known by being vocal. Unless it was a ruse to keep us from suspecting. I scanned the darkness in the direction the sound had come from, then laughed at myself. It was just an owl. I hoped.

  Sheer exhaustion, cool air on my face, and the calming sound of water racing through the river must’ve put me right to sleep. It seemed I no sooner rested my head, than I found myself on the shore in my dreams. But something aside from the empty shore differed. Where was the dazzling light that always blinded me? Clouds choked the sun, painting the sky gray. And the swirling lights were already open. Wasn’t she already in here, with me? Or was that evidence of an open connection? Was there a way to close it?

  I inspected the empty shore and surrounding fields. Where was she? Had she retreated to her own mind? Was that why I hadn’t sensed her presence as I had earlier? I fought the urge to peer into the window. If that was a portal to her mind, and I somehow invited her into my mine by peeking… I couldn’t take that chance. Instead, I watched the sea and sang my songs.

  I woke the next day more refreshed than ever. A rare breeze swept through, and I threw on a hoodie. A shadow clung to much of the gorge, but a break in the mountains to the east allowed dawn’s light to shine through. I washed one of my shirts in the stream, wrung it out, and hung it from a protruding rock in the cliff to dry, humming as I went.

  Kai braced his back and stretched. “You seem happy this morning.”

  I glanced over my shoulder. Something about him seemed lighter, less weighed down. “So do you.” My good mood surprised even me. How sad. I hoped that would change someday, and my attitude this morning would be the norm.

  We sat with my brothers, waited for the signal to move out.

  My mother returned from the waterline, capping her flask. She gave me a once-over. “You look much better today.”

  Part of me cringed that a good mood would be such a shocking thing. But I refused to let it bring me down. “Surprisingly, I slept well.” A hawk screeched, making me itch to savor the moment fully by shedding my flesh and taking to the skies. “I had my dream, but Morrigan wasn’t there.”

  “Really?” My mother’s eyes narrowed with suspicion.

  Kai cocked an eyebrow at me. “Is that possible?”

  “I don’t know what’s possible and what’s impossible. I mean, how’d she end up in my mind in the first place?”

  “Good question.” Kai locked his hands behind his head and stretched out his legs. “But I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

  “I am too. So please don’t think I’m trying to ruin your day when I say this.” My mother leaned in, her purple eyes boring into mine. “But she might be trying to lower your defenses. Whatever you do, don’t let your guard down.”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  ◊◊◊

  WE TRAVERSED MOUNTAINS FOR three more days, winding our way through the twisting canyon. The rock walls caging us receded, revealing a stunning view. The mountain yielded to lush greens spotted with a variety of boulders fanning out on either side of the river. I paused to soak up the sun and inhale the sweet air before beginning the continual downward slope, my arms swinging at my sides with the trek’s easy and fast momentum.

  Without the mountains, we were exposed. But, unlike the woods, this didn’t offer anywhere to hide. Even a fasgadair wouldn’t be fast enough to approach us unaware.

  It had been a week since we left the Somalta Caverns. The hill plateaued, then stopped, leaving nothing but blue skies with miles of treetops before us. As the land fell away, the river pitched over the side. “I hope that’s not a long drop.”

  The people traveling ahead of us disappeared over the edge without screaming as they plummeted into the abyss. I breathed easier. There must be a path.

  Rushing water tumbled over the edge of the world. Onc
e we arrived at the edge, I peeked over at the waterfall. It was a long drop. The bottom wasn’t visible through the trees. My vision swam and my surroundings faltered. I lost my balance and fell into Kai.

  He grasped my arms, studying my face until only one clear version of him stood before me. “It’s all right, Fallon. Look.” He pointed down. “There’s a path.”

  I dared peek over the edge at the steep, skinny trail. That was the path? My view wavered once more, and I covered my eyes, hoping to halt the rising nausea. People came up behind me, and Kai pushed me aside to let them pass.

  The path cleared, but another group of selkie would be upon us within minutes. Kai descended before me, his feet skidding on the stones, making my feet tingle as if I were sliding. He offered his hand. “I’ll help you.”

  Now or never. I clutched his hand and jumped. My feet slid, but Kai caught me. We stared wide eyed at each other for a moment too long. He released me, and I backed up as much as possible.

  “Hold on to me.”

  Clinging to his tunic, I followed in his footsteps, avoiding eye contact with the ledge. The air cooled as we descended. A swift breeze wetted us with mist. The sun abandoned us to the cliff’s shadow. After about an hour, we dipped below the thick tree line. The waterfall was no longer visible. But I heard it thundering ahead.

  We reached level ground, and I released Kai’s tunic and rubbed my sore fingers. The trees gave way to a crystal-clear, sandy-bottomed lagoon. The waterfall plunged into the water, sending up a mist.

  Men scattered throughout the trees dropped their loads. Time to make camp.

  ****

  The sound of the falls and the cool air on my face lulled me into a deep sleep. I arrived in my usual dream space without Morrigan. The sky seemed gloomier than it had before as if fog filled the entire space. How long had it been growing dim? An apprehensive chill swept over me, and I scrubbed away the goosebumps covering my arms.

  I woke the next morning, and apprehension coursed through me, setting me on edge. Though an entire army surrounded me, I felt alone.