Satisfaction Guaranteed

by Karelia Stetz-Waters

  “This is Donald.” Selena waved at a man with a beard down to his waist. “And Vita, Wine Barrel, Thomas. You know Beautiful Adrien. You met Zenobious at the funeral. Where’s Becket?”

  Becket popped out of the kitchen, looking like a blue-haired sprite.

  “The movie starts at eight,” she said. “If you are late, the doors will be locked.”

  “Your door’s never locked,” someone called out.

  “Fine cinema awaits you cultureless heathens.” Becket spread her arms.

  “Are we watching Vampiros Lesbos again?” the man named—probably not by his parents—Wine Barrel asked.

  “Godzilla versus Mothra?” someone else suggested.

  “You won’t know if you’re all out here eating potato chips,” Becket said.

  Becket’s theater had once been the master bedroom, but she had furnished it with two rows of sofas and piles of pillows on the floor. The walls were papered in red velveteen wallpaper. Stage curtains revealed a screen at the front of the room, and a cabinet in the back held a reel-to-reel projector.

  Selena motioned for Cade to take a seat on the sofa. Selena sat on the floor and tucked herself between Cade’s legs, her shoulders resting against Cade’s knees. If Cade had leaned over, she could have curled her whole body around Selena’s.

  She gingerly leaned back in the sofa, trying to hold her legs so she wasn’t touching Selena and wasn’t not touching her.

  The rest of the party piled into the theater.

  “She’s been hiding you away,” Zenobious said to Cade.

  “I have not.” Selena swatted at him.

  “She has. Her business partner.”

  “Be quiet.” Beautiful Adrien sat down in Zenobious’s lap. “We could be business partners.”

  “You have only to ask.” The way Zenobious said it sounded like he and Beautiful Adrien had joked like this a thousand times. Whether they had or hadn’t been “business partners” wasn’t any of Cade’s business. But she liked their obvious affection. Was that what she and Selena had? That easy, flirtatious friendship. If only she could figure out how many millimeters to put between her knees and Selena’s shoulders.

  Selena answered the question by draping her arms over Cade’s knees and pulling them around her.

  Across the room, Cade heard a woman say, “She’s from New York.”

  “I can’t believe she hasn’t brought her to the Aviary,” someone else said.

  Then—was Cade imagining it?—she thought she heard someone say, “Selena’s right. She is cute.”

  “Have you talked about me to your friends?” Cade leaned over enough to speak in Selena’s ear but not so much that she touched her any more than they were already touching.

  “I wouldn’t,” Selena said.

  She obviously had. It made Cade’s heart swell.

  Becket stood in front of the screen.

  “This is a classic nineteen sixties pre-feminist exploration of gender and power.” Becket hit a light switch, and the room went dim.

  All Cade could think about was Selena leaning against the low sofa, her body between Cade’s knees.

  The film started. A woman in a gold bikini had sex with a mobster and then killed him. Maybe it had a plot. Cade wasn’t paying attention. Selena turned around, draping her arm around Cade’s knee.

  “I’ve seen this one before,” Selena whispered. “The girl fight is coming up soon.”

  “Why are they fighting?”

  Selena tipped her head back so she was looking up at Cade. Cade could have leaned over and kissed her.

  “Because the one in red stole the other one’s mafia boyfriend,” Selena said. “You weren’t paying attention.”

  One of the women took off her shirt and squirted tanning oil over her body.

  “I was distracted.”

  Was that too much? Cade was about to say, but I’ll pay more attention.

  Selena said, “I always fight naked covered in oil in my living room in a gold bikini.”

  A collective groan of disbelief and appreciation went up from the group of friends as the women ripped each other’s clothes off.

  Midway through the film, Becket called intermission.

  “But do not get drunk and miss the psycho-sexual Cold War anxieties in the second half,” she said with mock seriousness. “This film had a strong influence on the modern action film.”

  The crowd was already tumbling into the kitchen in search of drinks. Selena and Cade were the last to get up. Cade could have stayed there forever enjoying Selena’s closeness, but Selena hopped up.

  “Get Cade a drink,” Becket said cheerfully. “Cade, let me show you around.”

  The house was so small you could pretty much see the whole place from the front door, but Becket led Cade to the one door that wasn’t open.

  “I want to know what you think about this,” Becket said as she opened the door.

  Cade didn’t need to ask what.

  A painting dominated the room. It was a portrait of a man sitting naked on the edge of a bed. Behind him a window opened on a blue landscape bathed in either dawn light or dusk. If it was dawn, his posture was hopeful but worried. If he was going to bed, his downturned face radiated peace. It was two paintings in one or one truth that was bigger than the frame that housed it. A masterpiece.

  “Oh, my god.” Cade stared.

  The technique was flawless, but technique could be learned. It was the insight and the empathy that radiated from the painting that took Cade’s breath away.

  “To see so clearly,” Cade murmured.

  “It’s Geoffrey in Cobalt Teal,” Becket said reverently.

  “Is it someone you know?”

  “Geoffrey? Acquaintance-friend. He moved to Missouri or Dallas. I’m not sure.”

  Portraits were hard to sell. People didn’t usually buy paintings of strangers. Painting portraits on commission could be lucrative, but it didn’t bring out artists’ best work.

  “Who did it?” Cade took a step closer. The signature had been scraped off. “It’s by the same person who did the portrait of Ruth.”

  Of course it was.

  “Yeah,” Becket said.

  “It’s amazing.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Who did it?” Cade asked again.

  “Selena didn’t tell you?”

  “She said she didn’t know. But she said the painter only did that one of Ruth.”

  “There’s only these two,” Becket said.

  “But you don’t know who did them?”

  Becket closed the door behind them.

  “Selena knows,” she said.

  “Was it her ex?”

  Becket gave a short, harsh laugh.

  “Alex is a hack.” Becket might be the size of a pixie, but there was a fierce protectiveness in her eyes. “She put Selena through a lot of shit.”

  “How could anyone do that? To have her and…” Not love her?

  Becket’s face softened, but her voice was still serious.

  “Selena took her vow because she wanted to get her life together, and a big part of why it wasn’t was Alex.” Becket held Cade’s gaze. “Don’t do that to her again.”

  “She’s not interested.” Selena had said ready. “I wouldn’t.”

  Cade didn’t know what Alex had done, but if it hurt Selena, Cade wouldn’t do it.

  “Alex is an asshole,” Becket said.

  Cade loved Becket for the anger that flared across her face. Selena deserved a friend like that.

  “She had power over Selena because she was her professor and she was rich and privileged and Selena—and me—we’re just trailer park girls who took a swig off the Everclear and made a run for it,” Becket went on. “And Alex knew she was breaking Selena’s heart, but Alex still wanted her. Selena was her trophy.”

  “Because she’s beautiful.”

  Becket scowled. “Because she was so fucking talented she made us all want to cry. Alex fucked her because Alex wanted to be her,
and then Alex left and it broke Selena.”

  Cade wanted to race out of the room and throw her arms around Selena and hold her close. You deserve better. I would never do that to you.

  “You’ll do that to her if you’re not careful,” Becket said.

  “She doesn’t want me like that.”

  Becket’s face said, Don’t be stupid.

  “You won’t mean to, but you will if you get with her and then go back to New York like she was just—”

  Outside the door, Cade heard Selena call out, “Becket? Cade?”

  “They’re in the bedroom,” someone said.

  “Jealous?” another voice teased.

  Selena opened the door.

  “There you guys are.” Her face fell. “Beck, what are you doing?”

  “Cade wanted to know who painted Geoffrey in Cobalt Teal,” Becket said.

  “And?” Selena asked.

  “I said you might know.”

  “Cade.” Selena held out her hand. “Beck, you are not my father. You do not get to get your rifle and tell Cade not to get me pregnant.”

  Despite the tension in the air, Cade’s heart soared. Selena might not be ready yet, but if Becket wanted to get the rifle, it meant Selena wanted to be with Cade.

  “Okay, okay. Get back to my movie,” Becket said cheerfully, but when she passed Cade in the hall, she clasped her arm and whispered. “Don’t break her heart, Elgin.”

  They returned to Becket’s theater. Selena resumed her seat between Cade’s knees. Cade pretended to watch as she replayed her conversation with Becket. Geoffrey in Cobalt Teal. She was so fucking talented. Don’t break her heart, Elgin.

  Selena reached up and undid the rubber band holding her hair. Then she leaned her head on Cade’s thigh. Cade stopped breathing, but it was okay because she no longer needed oxygen. She could live on the light of the film caught in Selena’s black curls. Very tentatively, Cade stroked Selena’s hair. Just once. Selena lowered her chin, inviting Cade’s touch. Cade ran her fingers through the silky curls. Selena sighed.

  “That feels good,” she whispered.

  Becket was watching them. Cade couldn’t read her expression. Disapproval? Threat? Or something kinder? Like Becket was thinking, Good luck, you two. You’re probably screwed, but if you’re going to try, try hard.

  When they returned to the house that night, they lingered in the driveway talking about the movie. When Selena finally returned to her apartment, Cade wandered around the house for an hour, looking out the windows and picking up knickknacks and putting them back down again. Everything felt more…real. Like she was really seeing after a life of just pretending to look at things. This vase. This raindrop on the window. All of it glittering and mysterious and wonderful.

  Chapter 24

  The next evening, Selena and Becket sat at a booth at their favorite dive bar. It was old Portland, iceberg not arugula, Bud Light not Wolf Eel Ale. It made a girl from Tristess miss home.

  “We’re moving forward with renting that theater.” Becket sipped her beer. “The question is whether or not our sponsors are going to pay for the capital investment. We need ADA bathrooms. That’s a one hundred percent must. The stage needs to be refinished, and I want to get it checked for mold. There are three kinds of mold we need to worry about.”

  Becket was the unpaid therapist to everyone in her burlesque troupe, so Selena always made an extra effort to listen to her, even if Becket wanted to talk about mold.

  “What are the three kinds?” Selena asked, her mind tracing the contours of Cade’s shoulders, savoring the feel of Cade’s fingers in her hair.

  “There are actually five kinds,” Becket said. “Alternia, aspergillus, cladosporium, penicillium, and stachybotrys. I’m only worried about the first three. Do you want to hear more?”

  “Of course.”

  “No, you don’t.” Becket laughed. “You are dying to talk about Cade Elgin.”

  “I want to hear about your mold. Is penicillium like penicillin? Is it bad, or do you not get infections if it’s in the building?”

  The waiter arrived with their tots.

  Becket popped one in her mouth. “Cade is cute. I like her.”

  “I thought you took her aside to show her your shotgun.”

  “I took her aside to show her Geoffrey in Cobalt Teal.”

  “Thanks for not telling her.”

  Selena pulled a napkin out of the holder and crushed it into a ball.

  “What’s wrong with telling her you were the best painter McLaughlin ever saw?” Becket asked.

  “I don’t want her to know.”

  Her paintings had gone up in flames, at her request. It was kind of Ruth to burn them, so Selena didn’t have to watch it happen, but it made her sad too. All that work. All those faces. A shit-together person would never have done that. A shit-together person would still be painting.

  “Why not?”

  “I burned all my work because my ex dumped me. That is so massively dumb.” Selena ripped a piece off her napkin ball. “I don’t want Cade to think I’m some sort of loser who’s going to crash my bike or overdose because I didn’t get what I wanted.”

  “Your relationship with Alex was borderline abusive. Maybe not border. And I’m sure Cade has done some crazy things. We all have.”

  “She hasn’t ever fucked up.”

  Becket raised a skeptical eyebrow.

  “We tell people we like about the things that’ve hurt us,” she said.

  “I don’t want her to think I’m a fuck-up.”

  “You’re not a fuck-up.”

  “I have strong fuck-up potential.”

  “What would you tell me if I said I was a fuck-up?” Becket asked.

  “That you’re a great person, and it’s okay to make mistakes.”

  “Exactly.”

  Becket pushed the tots in Selena’s direction. “Eat something.”

  “I can’t.”

  “There’s always room for tots.”

  “Tell me not to fall for her.” Selena leaned her head against the side of their booth.

  “Why waste my breath?” Becket took a sip of her PBR. “I saw you sitting in her lap, all blissed out, at movie night. What happened when you got home?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Did you sleep with her?”

  “When was that nothing?”

  Becket’s shrug said, I’m not going to tell you you’ve had a lot of nothing sex.

  “The other day at Paint your Vulva, when I texted you…” She hadn’t told Becket about their kiss. It felt too big, too important. She couldn’t put it in words. Becket would say something practical and tell her not to break her vow. “She kissed me.”

  “And?” Becket’s eyes widened.

  “I kissed her back, and then I told her nothing could happen, and we should go back to the way we were.”

  “Oh, Mathis.” Becket shook her head.

  Selena remembered the look on Cade’s face. It wasn’t just disappointment. Lots of people had been disappointed that Selena turned them down. But behind Cade’s disappointment had been a look of such concern. Selena had almost changed her mind and kissed Cade again. That concern said, I will never hurt you.

  Except Cade would. She wouldn’t mean to, but she’d break Selena’s heart in the end.

  “You could date her and not have sex,” Becket said.

  Selena picked at the label on her beer, then poured a lake of ketchup onto her plate and sunk a tater tot into it.

  “You could at least take her out for tater tots and a beer,” Becket said.

  “She doesn’t like tater tots.”

  “That’s just weird.”

  “We talk about…anything. Everything,” Selena said.

  “Except your paintings.”

  “Except my paintings.”

  “So, help me out here, or I will start talking about mold. You like her. She kissed you. You talk about everything. What’s the problem?”

  “Aren’t you
going to tell me not to break my vow?”

  “You told me to tell you that every time you thought about it. Don’t break your vow,” Becket said perfunctorily. “But maybe Beautiful Adrien is right. Maybe she would be good for you.”

  Selena pushed her tater tot around in the ketchup.

  “Eat it already,” Becket said gently.

  “She’s leaving,” Selena said. “I want her to stay and she’s not going to.”

  “You can be long distance.”

  “Maybe for a few months.” Selena’s heart ached at the thought. “But Cade Elgin is not going to stay with me. She’s a rock star. She owns a third of the gallery. She is the Elgin Gallery. She’s a rower. God, she wears white suede and it doesn’t get dirty. I know I’m not really a fuck-up, but she’s not going to want me long-term. She wants an accountant.”

  “Well.” Becket took a definitive swig of her beer. “Nothing I saw last night said, I’d rather be with an accountant. But if you’re set on being tragically in love with her—”

  “I’m not in love.”

  Was she? The question echoed through her mind.

  “If you think she’s so wonderful, and you’re not good enough—which you are—there’s a Portland Community College ad on literally every bus in Portland. Take a class on accounting. That’s the least romantic way anyone’s seduced a woman.” Becket grinned, coaxing a smile from Selena. “You do you.”

  The lights were on when Selena got home. Cade was working at the dining room table.

  “I should be helping you,” Selena said.

  Cade rubbed her shoulder, stretching her neck to one side.

  “I’m looking at the accounts,” Cade said. “QuickBooks stuff.”

  “How are we doing?”

  Cade’s frown told Selena everything she needed to know.

  “No good?” she asked.

  “We’ve paid off four months of the mortgage, but we’ve got to make six more payments to hold the bank off, and I’ve been paying the bank out of the store’s profits, which means we still owe the vendors a lot of money.”

  Selena had been so focused on Cade leaving, she hadn’t been thinking about Ruth’s store closing and the house and the banks. “How are we going to…?”