Satisfaction Guaranteed

by Karelia Stetz-Waters

  “I don’t know.” Cade stretched her shoulders with a sigh. “For the grant we need to show all our finances—and not in a box labeled Clitorises, etc.—so that’s what I’m working on here.” She gestured to stacks of papers on the table. “I need to get this all input by tomorrow.”

  There were a lot of papers. The forms on Cade’s computer screen looked complex. See? Selena thought to Becket. An accountant could help. But maybe she could help too.

  Gently, so as not to startle Cade, she put her hands on Cade’s shoulders and rubbed light circles at the base of her neck. Cade’s muscles were as tight as a bronze statue. Selena could feel the weight of responsibility in her shoulders. Cade was trying so hard.

  “I…” Cade dropped her head.

  Selena massaged her softly. It was a mistake to try to wrangle muscles this tight. Cade’s whole body must have ached from the tension, and she’d tense up even more if Selena dug into her. Instead, Selena pressed gently and stroked the place where her neck met her shoulder.

  “That okay?” Selena asked.

  “God, yeah.” The sigh that escaped Cade’s lips sent a shiver of desire through Selena’s body.

  Cade bent her head as Selena rubbed her neck with knowing fingers. Selena could have stood there all night. Touching Cade made her own body melt. She closed her eyes, just feeling Cade’s skin. She wanted to kiss Cade’s neck, her back, her flat abs, her thighs…but after a few minutes, Selena opened her eyes.

  She wasn’t going to seduce Cade Elgin. She was going to help.

  “Do you want to show me how to put stuff into QuickBooks?” she asked.

  They worked almost to dawn. Luckily Cade had two laptops. They got through all the papers. A miracle.

  “Thank you,” Cade said, as she closed her laptop. “Get some sleep. I’ll open the store.”

  “I’ll come with you,” Selena said.

  Her eyes were blurred with fatigue, but she didn’t want to leave Cade. They only had a few precious days left. Selena wanted to savor every minute, even if they were just friends, even if all they did was input numbers into QuickBooks.

  “You’re a rock star.” Cade turned to go, then paused. She glanced at Ruth’s painting. “Are you sure you don’t know who painted this?”

  Selena gave an infinitesimal nod. The smaller the nod, the smaller the lie.

  When Selena was back in her apartment, she turned on the strings of lights and sat by the window. She closed her eyes.

  “You screwed me,” she said to Ruth’s ghost, but her heart was brimming with love for Ruth and love for Cade. “You knew I would fall for her. I’m learning QuickBooks. That has to be love.”

  Love.

  “You think she’s worth the risk.”

  If someone else told Cade she was cool, but she wasn’t worth risking their heart over, Selena would kick that person’s ass. Cade deserved to be loved completely, worshiped, body and soul.

  “Of course she is.”

  Selena thought the lights twinkled a little bit brighter.

  “Remember those movies you made me watch? The ones where the shy woman moves to Italy or whatever, and she kisses a sexy lifeguard, and then goes back to America and starts her own company and dates a ton of gorgeous men and has everything she wants? No one ever thinks about the sexy lifeguard she leaves in Italy. He’s just there to help her get self-actualized, but what if he really liked her?” She paused for a moment, taking in the space. If they lost the shop, they’d lose the house too. She’d lose this room. But it wouldn’t matter if Cade stayed. “I don’t want to be Cade’s sexy lifeguard.”

  She pictured Cade sitting at her laptop and lifted her finger like a brush and traced Cade’s silhouette in the air. She longed to touch every curve and plane of Cade’s body, both on canvas and in life.

  If having her shit together meant knowing what she wanted, she had that part figured out. She unplugged the lights.

  “Good night, Ruth,” she said to the darkness. “Good night, Cade.”

  Then she felt around in her dresser drawer for a vibrator and a dildo. She covered the dildo in lube, lay down, and slipped it inside. She worked the vibrator over her clit. It was a reliable position. The fullness, vibrations, and clitoral stimulation covered all the bases, and she came in five luxurious waves of pleasure. Then for no reason and for every reason, she burst into tears.

  Chapter 25

  Cade called Amy the next morning, still lying in bed.

  “So how are things?” Amy said. “I’m heading over to Marco’s for coffee. Wish I could get you one, but you’re probably having fun over there. Are you having fun?”

  “Yeah.” The thrill of happiness that vibrated Cade’s body came through in her voice.

  “You and Selena! You did it?” Amy lowered her voice as though anyone on the street was listening. “Did you hit the big O?”

  “We didn’t sleep together.”

  “But? Turn on your video.”

  Amy switched the call to video. Cade turned on her video as well.

  “You’re in bed,” Amy said with surprise. “You’re not up doing one of those awful exercise routines?”

  “Time difference.”

  “It’s noon over here.”

  Nine o’clock. Cade couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in until nine.

  Amy’s face bounced around the screen as she walked.

  “I have to hear the whole thing.”

  Cade recounted everything from the portrait Selena painted at Pour and Paint Your Vulva to the languid feeling that suffused her body as she ran her hands through Selena’s hair. That was probably too much detail, but Amy didn’t seem to mind.

  “So what’s next?”

  Cade caught glimpses of the city behind Amy.

  “Is she still celibate? Are you going out? When do I meet her?”

  “It’s not going to be anything,” Cade said, “but it’s wonderful just to have—”

  “No. You’re not going to say it was wonderful to have one memory, like some tragic, slow movie about British people.”

  Cade laughed. “I was kind of going to say that.”

  “Your face says you don’t want to be a tragic British movie.”

  “She helped me with QuickBooks too.”

  “She kissed you and showed you her vulva on a flip phone and you want to talk about QuickBooks?”

  “It was sweet,” Cade said. “You know my parents. If I told them, I will drop dead at dawn if you don’t help me input this data into QuickBooks, they’d say, You’ve got this, honey, and go out with their friends.”

  “Your parents love you.”

  “Fine, but they don’t…” What was it that had touched Cade so deeply about Selena sitting down in front of the laptop? “They don’t take care of me. She did.”

  Selena brought her coffee and real food. She laughed at Cade’s jokes and listened to her stories. She’d gone to the horrible lecture on inventory and cleaned the store.

  “We’re going to my aunt’s cabin tomorrow,” Cade said. “I’ve got an appraiser coming out to see what it’s worth. Selena’s going to drive me because she says there’s a storm on the pass and the roads are a mess.”

  “On her motorcycle?”

  “She’s borrowing a friend’s SUV.”

  “There’s a storm on the pass,” Amy repeated. “Look at you all rugged and outdoorsy.”

  “Not.”

  “Have you thought about staying?” The wind blew Amy’s hair around her face as she walked. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold. “I would miss you like crazy, but you’d have to visit, like, every month to make sure your parents are feeding the alpacas.”

  Cade had thought about it as she lay in bed dreaming of Selena’s dark hair cascading through her fingers. She’d thought about it as she sat on the counter next to Selena drinking coffee and feeling cozy on a rainy afternoon. What if this was my life? It wasn’t that easy.

  “My life is in New York.” Cade sighed. “What would say s
talker more than selling my apartment, leaving the gallery, and totally moving my life because I kissed her once?”

  “Saving her fingernails. Making a life-size doll with her face on it.” Amy flipped off a taxi that cut too close to her as she crossed a street. “You don’t have to sell your apartment. You can say you want to help with Satisfaction Guaranteed. You stay. She falls in love with you. You figure out what you do next.”

  “If we don’t get the grant and get an offer on the cabin and get the vendors to float us for a few more months, we’re not going to keep any of Ruth’s property.”

  “Well, tell her you want to look for West Coast artists. You fell in love with Portland. You need a vacation.” Amy rounded a corner, heading toward their favorite coffee shop. “Or you could just tell her how you feel and see what she says.”

  Cade couldn’t do that. What would she say? I’ve never dated. I’ve barely had sex. We haven’t even known each other for a month. I’ll give up everything for you.

  “I suppose that’d be more efficient than hanging around Portland pretending I want to go hiking,” Cade said, but she knew she wouldn’t do it. She was the boring Elgin, switched at birth with an accountant’s daughter. The one who never missed a payment, who only stayed up late to work. The one who never made a bold, life-changing move for passion.

  Selena was right. A snowstorm had hit the pass hard. Enormous snowflakes landed on the windshield in a dizzying flurry. The winding highway was packed snow and patches of ice.

  “See those?” Selena pointed out the window to orange-tipped poles sticking out of the snowbanks that lined the road. “It’s to tell you where the edge is. There’s usually a drop-off.”

  Selena cruised around a curve, her hands resting lightly on the wheel.

  “I can’t believe you passed a snowplow,” Cade said, shaking her head.

  “That last one was just slow.”

  “They’re all slow.”

  “If I do it again, I’ll tell you to close your eyes.” Selena made it sound sexual. “Trust me, I’m not good at much, but I drive like a goddess.”

  “You’re good at everything,” Cade said.

  “Flattery will get you…” Selena didn’t finish the sentence.

  Instead, she turned up the radio and sang a bit of “Wish I Knew You.” Cade closed her eyes, although there was no plow in sight. She could see the shadows of passing trees behind her eyelids. This moment: she wanted to hang on to it forever. Just the two of them, in the woods, going on an adventure. She loved New York, but she couldn’t imagine going back to her clean, sparse apartment alone.

  After about two hours, the highway split. Selena took the narrower leg. A mile or two later, she turned onto a forested road. In another mile, she turned onto a gravel road deep in snow. Cade was sure they would get stuck, but they didn’t.

  “There it is,” Selena said after a little while.

  At the end of the road sat a small wooden house. Behind it, a pine forest glowed with new snow.

  When they got inside, Cade could see it was definitely Ruth’s cabin. Tasseled lamps. Velvet paintings. Dolls. There was an all-in-one kitchen and a living room, a fireplace, and doors that must have led to the bathroom and a bedroom. The living room was dominated by a ridiculously puffy red sofa and a futon mattress that took up most of the floor and was covered in a harem of pillows and velvet blankets.

  Selena walked over to the kitchen running her fingers along the counter and touching the cupboards. “It was like she was just here.” She stopped. “She left a letter.”

  She held the piece of paper out to Cade, tears forming in her eyes.

  “Do you want me to read it to you?” Cade asked.

  Selena nodded.

  “Dear Selena,” Cade began. “I hope it’s you, and I hope you brought Cade. The cabin always filled me with joy, and I want you to be filled with joy too. Some people want a legacy. I just want to leave the world a happier place. Have fun. Relax. The bedroom is locked. I’ve put some old treasures there. Sort through them and keep what you want, but don’t do it the minute you get here. It’s hard to look at old things. Wait ’til tomorrow.” Tomorrow the appraiser was coming. Cade put the thought out of her mind. She read on. “I’ve ordered you some treats from the Market. Call and tell them to deliver Ruth’s basket to the cabin. This is your place now, yours and Cade’s.”

  “We have to sell it,” Selena said, “if we want to pay off the bills.”

  “Yeah.”

  Selena wiped her eyes and nodded.

  Cade should have loved Ruth more. Cade had barely known her the last few years. Cade had been so busy, and Ruth was just another crazy Elgin. But everything she saw of Ruth’s life was full of…life. Love. Pleasure. Flowers. Friends. YOLO pillows. Messages from the beyond.

  “It’s okay to be sad.” Cade handed Selena the letter.

  Selena nodded again, her lips quivering. Cade put her arms around her, but she held her lightly. She wanted to lead her to the pile of pillows and cradle her while she cried or talked or lay quietly in Cade’s arms. But was that right? Was that too much like kissing Selena in the store? I’m not ready, Cade. I’m so sorry.

  “I’m glad Ruth had you in her life,” Cade said.

  “Me too.” Selena looked down at the letter. “I got to have her in my life, and I got to meet you. Ruth told me we’d be friends.”

  “Before she died?”

  “No. Afterward. I felt her. She said she wanted us to…”

  Cade wished Selena would finish the sentence, but she didn’t.

  “Do you think that’s dumb? Talking to her. I know she can’t hear,” Selena said.

  “Are you sure?”

  Cade didn’t think Ruth could hear, but it’d be nice to think Ruth was following along behind Selena, loving her and protecting her.

  Selena folded the letter carefully and set it on a decorative plate on the counter.

  “Ruth wanted everyone to be happy.” Selena turned to Cade, her eyes bright. “Let’s have a perfect night. For Ruth. We will only be happy, and we will only have fun.”

  “One perfect night.” Cade nodded solemnly. “For Ruth.”

  Chapter 26

  “You want to see something, City Girl?” Selena asked. “We need to light a fire. Don’t take your coat off.”

  She took Cade’s hand and led Cade outside. Cade thought as long as Selena held her hand, she’d never get cold. Selena led them to a dilapidated shed behind the cabin.

  “Is this where the Revenant lives?” Cade said.

  Selena opened the door and switched on a single, exposed bulb. Inside were neatly stacked rounds of wood. Selena dropped Cade’s hand, picked one off the top of the stack, and carried it outside, setting it on a stump. Then she retrieved an axe.

  “Stand behind me.” Selena leaned the axe against her leg and twisted her hair into a knot, showing off the beautiful curve of her neck. “If the axe head comes off, it’ll fly forward.”

  “I love that you know that and I am afraid of you.”

  Selena laughed, looked over her shoulder at Cade standing a safe distance away, then raised the axe over her head and swung it in an effortless arc, landing perfectly on the round and splitting it in two. Cade wished she were a photographer so she could capture the surreal beauty of Selena wielding an axe in purple fur. Selena picked up the halves of wood, set them on the stump, and split them again. It only took her a few minutes to produce a pile of wood.

  “I’ve never seen anyone split wood,” Cade said.

  “Impressed?”

  “Yes.”

  “You want to try one?”

  When Cade swung the axe it stuck an inch in the wood, the wood unsplit. She tried again. Same thing.

  “How do you do it?” she asked.

  “You have to split this log. Really look at it. Where does it look like it should split?”

  Cade tried again to no avail. Selena took the axe from her. She motioned for Cade to step back again and split the
log in perfect halves. As she walked past Cade to retrieve the wood, she planted a kiss on Cade’s cheek, so quick Cade thought she might have imagined it.

  “You have other gifts,” Selena said. “I’ll split your firewood for you.”

  Back in the cabin, Cade went looking for her phone to call the Market so Selena wouldn’t see the longing in her eyes.

  As promised, a basket of food and wine arrived an hour later. Cade and Selena sat on the futon, their backs propped against the sofa.

  “I have never seen so many throw pillows in one place,” Cade said.

  Selena nibbled a cracker.

  “Ruth used to have parties up here. Sometimes a bunch of us would camp around the cabin. Sometimes, we’d stay up so late talking everyone would just fall asleep on the futon. Ruth said that’s how puppies slept.”

  Cade could not imagine falling asleep on a futon with a bunch of other people, but she could imagine falling asleep beside Selena. But she would take the couch. Selena would take the futon on the floor. Or the other way around. Cade knew she wouldn’t sleep. She wouldn’t waste a moment of this night. They were quiet for a while, watching the fire through the glass window on the woodstove.

  Eventually Selena moved her plate aside and slid down onto the futon so she was looking up at Cade.

  “What are you thinking?” Selena asked.

  How beautiful you are. Nothing in my life is like you. And how can this be so perfect and not enough?

  “Nothing,” Cade said. “This is nice.”

  “It is.”

  Selena gazed up at her.

  “Do you think you’ll meet an accountant when you go back to New York?” Selena asked.

  “An accountant?”

  “You said your perfect girl was an accountant.”

  “I did?”

  “When we first met. I asked you if you were dating, and you said you weren’t, but if you were, you’d date an accountant.”

  I want you.

  “I think I was being practical.” Cade’s heart quickened.