Trusting Again

by Lo'Ren A Mayler

  Nikki stood and waited for Mia to lead the way to the bedroom. Like the rest of the apartment, the room was bare except essentials. No curtains or decoration. Just a bed, two night stands and a dresser. Nikki took off her shoes and sat her phone on the dresser. She slid into bed on top of the covers. Mia hesitated until Nikki patted the spot next to her. She crawled into Nikki’s arms and put her head on the shoulder offered. Just before Mia drifted off to sleep she whispered, “Thank You.”

  Nikki kissed her forehead and held her tight.

  “Thank you for trusting me.”

  She knew the story had cost Mia; had brought the hurt to the surface. Why did I have to ask? Was I trying to help her or understand her? Would letting the pain out help at all? Oh Mia, if only I could take all of your woes away. Nikki did not fall asleep for hours. She laid in bed holding Mia. Enjoying the feel of her. Hoping she was sleeping soundly, that she didn’t wake. Nikki dreaded Mia stirring and forcing her away. Even as Nikki’s eyelids started to droop, she didn’t want sleep to come. To take her away from this moment. She fought it tooth and nail, trying to stay up, to protect Mia from her nightmares. From the demons that lurked in the depths of her mind. Of course, it was no use, there was no way of fighting it. Nikki finally felt herself drift off and there was nothing she could do to prevent the darkness from claiming her. Taking comfort in knowing at least her physical form was bound to Mia.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Mia could feel warmth radiating from the strong arms wrapped around her. She snuggled closer into the figure, not wanting to get up yet. The sun was rising, she could see it shining through the window. It was the first time, since she moved, that she actually missed curtains. A hand pulled at her waist, bringing her closer to the figure. Mia felt safe and protected. It had been a long time since she had slept soundly through the night; since she didn’t have any nightmares. She felt a little disoriented. Mia couldn’t remember if she had slept a full night at all since Shantel.

  For a moment she had forgotten where she was. What year was it? Who was holding her?

  “Good Morning,” a woman whispered in her ear and kissed her on the cheek. The lips were soft as silk. Mia stiffened a little, she couldn’t think of who was in the bed. Was it Denise? No, she never felt this comfortable with Denise. She was rigid and cold. Nothing like the form molded to her. Denise couldn’t function without at least two cups of coffee in the morning. Her voice was a little higher, less gentle. The words were spoken like a caress. She had never been prone to snuggling. Denise liked her pace, “room to breathe” as she recalled.

  The whole night came back in a flash. She relaxed into the embrace and felt the smile that crept across her face as she remembered it was Nikki lying next to her. Nikki holding her.

  “Good morning.”

  Propping up on her elbow, Nikki said, “We have to get up soon.”

  “No, I’m sick. ((cough cough)). I can’t get out of bed.”

  “So you are going to make me go to school alone.”

  Mia held tight to her arm, “Nope. You’re a blanket. No school for you.”

  Nikki had a wide smile on her face. Pleasantly surprised that Mia hadn’t kicked her out. On the contrary, she didn’t want Nikki to leave. Don’t jinx it. Just enjoy this time with her as long as she will let you.

  “Okay. If you want me to, I’ll stay.”

  Nikki laid back down and pulled Mia into her tight embrace. The sun was brighter, the air fresher. Everything felt right in the world, if only for this moment. Nikki wished the night had never ended. That she didn’t have to leave. She closed her eyes again, basking, savoring the feel of the beautiful woman lying in her arms.

  Mia sighed in resignation with the realization that she had no choice, “No, I have to go in. You don’t really get time to burn when you’re a temp.”

  Mia tried to move, inwardly smiling that Nikki didn’t release her. Please don’t let me go. It felt inconceivably, outlandishly, fantastic to be in Nikki’s arms. Mia never wanted it to end. She scooched and twisted trying to face her bedmate. To look into the blue eyes, hoping to see Nikki’s emotions reflected there.

  “So what’s the plan? Hold me hostage?”

  Nikki pulled her close enough for their noses to touch. There was compassion, serenity and just below the surface a yearning Mia scarcely recognized. After last night, how is it possible that she is looking at me like that? After I told her…everything.

  “Well, I guess that depends.”

  “On what?” Mia asked softly.

  She was getting drawn into Nikki’s gaze. Don’t kiss her. Don’t kiss her. Mia chanted to herself.

  “Well if I have to let you go, there should be something in it for me. Is there an incentive?”

  Mia contemplated it a second, “How about, I will not yell at you today?”

  Nikki wrinkled her nose and was already shaking her head.

  “Not nearly good enough. I mean if I go to school, I need to get out of this bed, race home, shower and change. Most importantly, I have to leave you.”

  Why is she always so fracken cute?

  “That does sound like a lot of work…hmm... How about I sit with you at lunch?”

  Mia knew she was not giving good incentives, but she was having too much fun to take Nikki seriously. She was also afraid that if Nikki got the answer she wanted, she would get up and leave. Mia wasn’t ready. Not ready for them to part. Not ready to get up. Not ready to face the light of day.

  “Nope,” Nikki said. Her head moved closer to Mia’s, stopping just short of kissing her. Their noses touching as she gave Mia an eskimo kiss.

  “Okay,” Mia contorted her face while she debated, “Why don’t you make me dinner tonight and we can debate it some more?”

  Nikki laughed, “You mean get take out and pretend I can cook?”

  “You can’t cook? Wow, guess there is something you aren’t good at. Anything else I should know?”

  Mia slid her arm along Nikki’s side. The contact almost derailed her train of thought.

  “Not that I’m aware of, but you can let me know. I’d be more than willing to get your input.”

  Nikki’s words didn’t seem to register. Mia was still flabbergasted that Nikki couldn’t cook.

  “So you can’t even boil noodles for pasta,” Nikki shook her head. Entertained by Mia’s insistence that she had to be able to make something.

  “Eggs? Boiled eggs? Canned soup?” Nikki’s response was the same for all of them, no.

  “Well, technically I can make them, but I’m not sure the result will be edible. Everything ends up over cooked, mushy or blackened. If I try boiled eggs, they are usually underdone and runny. Either way, you don’t want me in the kitchen.”

  “How on earth do you survive? Do you eat out every day? Never mind, why don’t I come to your place and I cook?”

  Nikki noticed in all the scenarios Mia wanted to go to her house instead of the apartment.

  “I don’t think my lack of culinary skills is the real issue here. I want to know why you want to come to my house so bad. Do you want to make sure I’m not a serial killer?”

  “No. You know where I live, I think it is only fair. Besides, I am at least asking permission before I go there, unlike someone I know.”

  Wait a minute. Mia had never actually considered the idea. She had never been one to easily trust in others. It had driven Denise crazy. She thought Mia was paranoid. It isn’t that she thought everyone was out to get her, she just liked to be careful. She felt it was smart to meet in public places, during the day, etc. You never know who is just putting up a front. Oddly enough, even when she was making Nikki out to be the bad guy, Mia had known in her gut that she was safe.

  “Do I have to worry about a body buried in the yard or under the floor boards? Is there a dungeon in the basement? I mean, you’re already holding me hostage. You might kidnap me.”

  Nikki couldn’t stop laughing. What an imagination.

  “No. there are no bo
dies. Nothing bizarre. It’s just a house. Of course, if you really want a dungeon, I could go pick up some whips and chains.”

  Mia was rolling her eyes, “Yeah, right, sure you will.”

  The alarm went off, effectively ending their night together. It also succeeded in pulling their gaze away from each other and towards the offending noise. Nikki knew she still had plenty of time as Mia was always early. However, she did have to let go of Mia so she could turn off the alarm. Damn. Nikki was not eager to get up. The moment Mia moved away from her, Nikki felt a pain in her chest. It was slight, but there. She rubbed at her chest, but was unable to dull the ache. Something was missing, a piece of her heart, like a hole. She was not prepared for the night’s end, but had not expected to feel a loss this deep.

  The ache eased the moment Mia laid back down.

  “So?”

  Nikki stared at Mia, content to just lie there watching her, a dreamy look in her eyes, “So?”

  “Dinner? I was offering for you not to starve. Did you forget already?”

  “Oh, right, I didn’t forget. I just get distracted easily. Oh look, something shiny,” Nikki pointed at the light reflecting onto the ceiling. “Of course I want to see you tonight.”

  Mia gave her a peck on the lips and turned to get up. Nikki reached out, trying to snag Mia’s hand, to pull her back, but only caught air. Mia was already on the other side of the room when Nikki flopped down on the bed.

  “Come on, out of bed. I have to get ready.”

  Nikki ran her hand over the comforter as she walked towards the hall. She wanted to remember the feel of Mia’s bed. The smell of her perfume. How Mia fit in her arms. Nikki followed Mia to the door with her shoes and jacket in hand. She slipped them on and stood waiting for Mia to turn around.

  “So, I’ll see you later? Lunch?”

  Nikki took Mia into her arms, “Absolutely.”

  She had meant to say goodbye and walk out the door, but instead found herself moving closer to Mia.

  Mia knew it was coming, Nikki was going to kiss her and she didn’t resist. She didn’t want to. Since she had woken up, all she wanted was for Nikki to kiss her. The small peck she stole had not helped to ease the desire budding within her. This time the kiss was slow, at first it was a goodbye, but soon grew stronger, more intimate. Mia ran her hands through Nikki’s hair. Shaggy, soft and just enough to hold on to. Mia threaded her fingers in the brown locks and pulled Nikki closer. Her heart hammered in her chest and her stomach fluttered with nervousness. She could hear the moan that escaped her lips and the gasped response from Nikki. Every noise Nikki made was delightful and tormenting at the same time. Every moan, touch and kiss only fanned the fire. She knew this had to stop, they had to part ways. Mia opened her mouth to Nikki. Her pulse quickened and was moving south quickly. If they didn’t stop soon, Mia would not be going in to work. She wouldn’t be leaving the apartment, possibly ever again. She wasn’t sure who had the sense to pull away.

  “Tonight” was all Nikki said. She planted another kiss and left before Mia could convinced her not to.

  Mia sighed as she leaned against the closed door, trying to catch her breath. Her thoughts on the woman that just left. Nikki took her breath away. Made her unnerved, excited and just a tad off center. She felt as if her world would never be put back on its axis, forever askew. Nikki had not judged Mia on her grief. She listened, comforted and never tried to change her mind. Mia had not dreamed of ever sharing her bed again. Last night she had done just that, let Nikki into her personal space. Shown her what lies in her heart and mind as well as her bed. Of course now she was picturing sharing it in a whole different way. Their bodies moving in unison, sweat dripping from them. A cry in ecstasy mixed in amongst the murmurs of pleasure. Behind her eyelids, she saw Nikki arching her back. Mia finally came to and realized she had already wasted five minutes standing at the door. Looking down at her shaking hands, Mia fought for control. Her breathing had not steadied since Nikki had walked out. I have to get ready.

  It took longer than usual to get to work since she kept daydreaming. She stood under the shower with her eyes closed. The water cascading down her body could have been a caress from Nikki. Lips on her shoulder and a hand on her… When she dressed, she could see Nikki taking her clothes off. Eyes taking their fill of her curves. A lion about to pounce… Every time the image started to focus, she would snap back to the present. Come on, she scolded herself. The sooner I get to school, the sooner the day would be over and I can see her again.

  Mia pulled into the parking lot and noticed Nikki was already there. You dawdled so long, you can’t even see her again before school. Mia walked down the halls greeting students and teachers alike, a bright smile for the whole school to see. She couldn’t help it. As frustrated as her body was, and it was, her mind was still in bed with Nikki. She saw flowers in a vase sitting on her desk as she entered the small office. A beautiful arrangement of yellow daffodils, forget-me-not and jasmine. The bouquet was like a perfume scenting her office. The aroma so sweet, Mia had to hold them up to her nose to get more of the heady scent. Noticing there was no card, she walked back out to the secretary.

  “Excuse me, Elizabeth,” the secretary looked at Mia in response. “Do you know where the flowers are from?”

  “A delivery service dropped them off this morning. They said it was for you, so I put them on your desk.”

  “Okay, thank you.”

  Mia went back to her office and closed the door. There was only one person they could be from. Nikki must have ordered them as soon as she left this morning. There was no card, so there would be no rumors. Mia smelled the flowers and leaned back in her chair. She let the memory of waking next to Nikki fill her senses. The bell rang, but Mia wasn’t pulled back to reality until there was a knock at the door.

  “Come in.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Richard walked in. His smile growing when he noticed the flowers on her desk.

  “Good morning Richard. How can I..?”

  “Good morning Mia. I would like to speak with you about your employment here in Greenville.”

  “Alright.” Mia motioned to the seat opposite hers. Choosing not to say more as she didn’t feel like being interrupted.

  “First, how are you liking it here?”

  “Sir?”

  “Well, I have gotten feedback from the staff and some of the students. But I want to hear from you.”

  “Richard, I’m not sure I follow.”

  “Mia, I want to know if you enjoy working here. Living in Greenville. I do not want to offer you a job, you take it and be unhappy. If this is not where you want to be. If this school is too small. I don’t want you here if you do not want to be here.”

  “Sir, if there was something said about me or anyone filed a complaint…”

  “Mia it is nothing like that. Everything I have heard has been nothing but positive. The staff respects you, however all said that you don’t socialize. The students said you are always there and listening to them. Even counseling during your own lunch. You go beyond the scope of the job. You think outside the box. I would take great pleasure in adding you to our staff. However, I do not want you to settle. I understand our small town maybe too small for you. You have no friends or family here and I don’t want you to be alone. I know your personal life is none of my business, as your boss, but I want to see you happy. After everything…”

  Richard stopped abruptly, having said more than he had intended to.

  “You know what happened?”

  “Since you applied here. It is our policy to speak with your former employer. You’re old principal told me you are the most promising counselor he ever had. That you cared more for the students than anyone he has employed there before. He told me you lost someone and it is haunting you.”

  Mia didn’t know how to feel. She understood the need to check her previous employment, but she never considered Richard knowing about Shantel.

  “Mia, I like yo
u and I want to see you happy. I just want to be sure staying here, in Greenville, would make you happy.”

  Mia’s eyes were drawn towards the flowers. Staying with Nikki would not be a hardship. She liked the students and the staff.

  “Richard I would like to stay. If you’ll…”

  “It’s settled then. I’ll have Gladice draw up the paperwork. Have you spoken to Coach Reed?”

  Nikki? Why? Does he suspect something between us?

  “About what?” Mia asked with as much calm as she could muster.

  “Coach Reed would like you to resume being the athletic counselor.”

  “Oh, okay. I’ll catch up with Mason later today.”

  As he left the office Mia took a deep breath and released it. Mia leaned over to smell the flowers again. No, it wouldn’t be a hardship at all to stay here in Greenville with Nikki.

  Mia was smiling the entire morning. Even the students noticed a change in her. The rest of the staff heard she was staying and stopped by to congratulate her. Somehow, she was the news of the day, again. Yay. Finally, it was lunch time. Mia had been so busy, she was never able to go thank Nikki for the flowers or for her talk with Richard. She would say a private thank you later. Her smile returned as she thought of ways to properly show her appreciation to Nikki.

  The cafeteria was the same as ever. The students in line or eating with their friends. Smiling and laughing. Mia got her food and sat at the only seat left at Nikki’s usual table, next to Sam. Of course. There was no sign of Nikki yet. It will be fine. Just sit down, eat your food, smile and before you know it Nikki will be here.

  “Mia, how are you girl?”

  “I’m good Sam. How are you? What did you do last night?”

  Mia didn’t really care, but thought she should at least try to be nice for Nikki’s sake.

  “Oh, I was out last night. Well, I should say I stayed in, with Nikki,” Sam winked at her.

  “Really, all night?”

  Seriously.

  “Yeah. Just can’t get enough of her. We went straight from practice to her house. That woman is simply amazing.” Sam leaned in the whisper, “Stamina is the word.”