Healing Mr Darcy’s Heart

by Kay Mares

  “I appreciate that you have enlightened me to what transpired and I thank you for your comfort regarding Lydia. As always you act with honor.” Elizabeth pauses and collects her thoughts then asks him, “Do you hate him after all the mayhem he has caused?”

  Darcy peers at Elizabeth before answering. “Hate is a strong word. I have been taught both at home, and in the church, it is wrong to hate another but if there is some other emotion just a short step away from hate than there is where I hold him. Rest now Lizzy and fret no more. I am here with you.” Even with his assurances, Elizabeth still feels sorrow, but another concern creeps into her mind. Most ladies in fine homes do not stay the full night with their husbands. She does not wish for Darcy to find her unladylike. Elizabeth leaves to attend to some personal needs, and when she returns, she addresses him.

  “Perhaps I should seek my own quarters now for the rest of the night.” Elizabeth drops her eyes demurely. Darcy reaches out to her and draws her back into the bed with him.

  “Stay.” He murmurs softly as he gathers her to him.

  Chapter 18

  The next morning, Elizabeth and Darcy wake early and are both famished. All the emotions and energy spent from the night before has increased their appetites. Elizabeth fixes Darcy with a saucy smile as she speaks. “What must you think of me to have remained with you all night. I fear you will find me wanton.”

  “Absolutely not!” replies Darcy. “I have been alone long enough, and should you decide to grace me with your presence all during the night, I welcome you wholeheartedly. I have found you and me do well by ignoring convention instead doing what our hearts tell us. Come, Mrs. Darcy, I will ring for your maid to have a bath drawn up and when you are finished, I will have cleaned up as well, and we will enjoy our first breakfast together as man and wife.” To Elizabeth’s astonishment, he springs from the bed without so much as a glance and rings for the servant. As he turns in her direction in all his glory, she sees the cheeky grin he sports as he pulls the robe about him. He hands her the discarded nightgown and discretely informs the staff of their desires. “I imagine we will see much more of each other now.” He states with the same cheeky grin still on his face.

  “You are naughty, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth retorts as she too begins to smile. He is so light of heart it is impossible not to pick up on his joy.

  “I believe you would have me no other way, Mrs. Darcy. I could chronicle some of last night’s adventures to prove my point.” Darcy smirks.

  “Unbelievable, incorrigible, arrogant, irresistible, adorable and mine,” Lizzy purrs back at him. He so enjoys her teasing, and his face is infused with happiness. Elizabeth dons her nightgown and with a breezy kiss leaves him to seek her bath and day clothes. Darcy cannot contain the bliss he feels bubbling from the inside. He arranged for the trays in the room after he has bathed and had Barnabas shave him and gather his clothing. As much as he would like to return to their bed and the pleasures found there, he also desires to have Elizabeth at Pemberley as soon as possible.

  Elizabeth bathed and dressed with assistance from Ada. She appreciated her mother’s insistence on purchasing new gowns for both her and Jane. Ada styled her hair becomingly and clothed Lizzy in a flattering beige gown. Elizabeth looks at her reflection in the mirror, and although she feels different on the inside, she cannot note any ready changes on the outside. She has joined the ranks of the married females who know what the marital bed holds. However there the comparison with most others ends. Lizzy’s experience was extremely pleasing to her, and she does not doubt Darcy’s pleasure. As her mind conjures up images of their wedding night, Elizabeth has an overwhelming desire to be with Darcy. She finishes quickly and goes in search of him in the sitting room.

  Upon entering, she sees him adjusting the trays on the table and her heart surges. He stops his fussing and turns to her with a dazzling smile and bright blue eyes. He strides over to her and escorts her to her seat. “I hope having breakfast here with me in the sitting room meets with your approval? I wanted to be alone with you, and we may talk and touch as we wish without prying eyes.”

  “Yes, thank you, Fitzwilliam, I have the same wish. I do not want to share you with anyone else even the servants. What is your agenda for today?”

  Darcy takes some fruit on his plate before answering. “Much the same as yesterday. I have built time into the schedule to allow for stops should anything pique our interest or if you feel inclined, we may stop for a ramble. We will stay at another inn tonight and be to Pemberley tomorrow. Once home, I have arranged for most of my business to be held so you and I may continue to enjoy one another’s company without interruption. The only matters I cannot control would be any emergencies which may arise, but that is a part of estate management.”

  Elizabeth smears some preserves on her toast and takes a sip of tea. “Again I must admit to some astonishment at all you do for Pemberley. Does it derive its income solely from farming?” she inquires.

  “Oh no, as we spoke yesterday, I must continually be at the forefront of new ideas and advances. Over the years various Masters have invested in ships, cotton mills, different livestock and I am looking into rail lines. The ability to transport goods over many miles more efficiently than by horse and wagon cannot be overlooked. More product can also be moved to and from the ports which will make our shipping interests more profitable. While I enjoy the agricultural aspects the most, I have to be open to other avenues of revenue. Also, the Pemberley stables have produced some fine horses which our military has taken notice of. I have only really outlined some of what the estate is responsible for, but the details are far more complex and at times tedious. However, once we are home, I will be more than happy to enlighten you about the inner workings of all our ventures.”

  “I do not suppose it is a lady’s purview, but if you would like, I admit to some curiosity to knowing more,” Elizabeth says shyly.

  “Elizabeth you are to be more than a shiny bauble on my arm, I have told you I required a partner, not a dependent. Your intelligence should not be hidden just because you are female. You can comprehend any topic you wish to put your mind to. You do not have to pretend to be someone other than my Lizzy. I adore you.” Darcy reaches across the table to grasp her hand, and she squeezes his in return. “I have enjoyed our time together immensely, but I will admit to some impatience to arrive at Pemberley. I have looked forward to showing you our home and grounds as well as having the honor of presenting you as my wife. I hold no demands regarding when or even what duties you will assume once we are home. I welcome your questions and concerns in addition to your insights. I hope I do not frighten you, but it is my hope we will not be parted even when I attend to estate business.”

  “I accept your assurances gladly, and I too hope to be in your company as much as possible. However, there will be times our separation cannot be avoided I would think. While I too look forward to arriving at Pemberley, I share your opinion that this trip has been quite enjoyable and dare I say it…stimulating.”

  “You saucy flirt!” Darcy cries with smugness about him. He traces his hand up Elizabeth’s arm and is ready to commence with a detailed exploration of her décolletage when he is interrupted by a knock at the door from a servant indicating their carriages will be ready in about one-half hour. Some frustrated mumblings occur as Darcy thanks the man and glances over at his wife. A mischievous gleam is in her eyes.

  “It is for the best, Mr. Darcy, for if you delay us, we shall not reach our next destination promptly, and I may find some exhaustion. Plus your well laid out itinerary would all be for naught.” Now it is Darcy’s turn to look petulant. Elizabeth marvels at how expressive his face is, and she does delight in teasing him. He sits back down and resumes eating his breakfast.

  “You do realize that as Master, I may choose to delay or change plans at my whim and no one shall give me grief about it? Tell me Elizabeth, would you like me to detain our departure so we may loiter here a bit longer? I am at your disposal.”
Darcy resumes his ministrations, and Lizzy cannot help but respond to them. She leans into his hands and seeks his mouth with hers. Darcy in one swift movement pulls her to his lap while extending his explorations. Breakfast is forgotten, and they end up back in their bed. Afterward, they amuse themselves by helping each other dress again. Both are fascinated by the efforts and gained another level of intimacy with each other. However, Mr. Darcy begins to despise the corset with all of its lacings.

  The delayed carriage ride finally commences, and just as Darcy declared, no one questions the later start. They stop at the castle ruins of Kenilworth for exploring and enjoy passing through towns and pastoral settings alike. Another shared lunch and stroll helps break up the ride, but both Lizzy and Darcy relish the privacy the carriage offers. By late afternoon they roll up to the next inn.

  Darcy and Elizabeth speak this time of their families, favorite childhood memories, and then they move on to common acquaintances. It is during this later discussion the subject of Mr. Collins comes up. They both find him to be fawning and foolish. Darcy especially is gladdened his interactions with the nitwit were at a minimum during their courtship. Mr. and Mrs. Collins returned to Hunsford after Lord Matlock’s visit with the imperious Lady Catherine to console the dame after the well-deserved upbraiding she received.

  “There is something of Mr. Collins of which I would like to speak, Fitzwilliam,” Lizzy begins with some hesitation as the assessing stare is leveled upon her. “He came to Longbourn around the time of the first Netherfield ball. He wrote to my father beforehand indicating he wished to offer an olive branch to mend the gap between our two families. You are now familiar with my father’s diversion with the foolishness of others, and he looked forward to the visit as a source of amusement. Mr. Collins was as he always is, obsequious and ridiculous. He determined to pick among us sisters one to wife, and he first set his sights on Jane.” Darcy is unsure where this conversation is leading, and he feels some alarm creeping in on him. Elizabeth continues, “At the time we thought Mr. Bingley would make an offer for Jane, so he was discouraged from pursuing her.”

  Elizabeth gathers herself as she prepares to tell Darcy of the proposal. Darcy has done his utmost to repair his reputation, and he has mostly succeeded. Some of Elizabeth’s family are becoming fond of him, Jane and Mr. Bennet especially. Still, Darcy cannot tolerate Mr. Collins at the very least. The man seeks Darcy out, fawns over him and by becoming a spectacle in most social situations, he unwittingly draws attention to Darcy. Furthermore, Darcy holds him partially responsible for Lady Catherine’s rude visit to the Bennets. Elizabeth clears her throat, “he easily switched his affections to me and the morning after the ball, he made me an offer of marriage.”

  Darcy tenses and clenches his jaw as he lays his fork aside. Elizabeth witnessed him becoming angry before, most recently when he chastised Caroline. His eyes darken, and he fixes them upon a spot on the far wall. Elizabeth runs her hand down his arm and startles when he flinches from her touch. His gaze is steely, and color rises in his cheeks. “I refused him naturally, and my father supported my decision,” she weakly concludes.

  “The audacity of that bootlicking sycophant to think a superior woman as you would even consider an alliance with him! His pomposity and ignorance are towering. I understand about the entail but really…a groveling pathetic fool as him?” What Darcy does not give mention is the thought of Elizabeth’s virtue and innocence being given over to Collins. Remembering the passion they shared and her gift to him of her maidenhood, he can scarcely contain his anger. “I am sorry about my outburst, but I just cannot bear the thought of that unctuous simpering arse!” In spite of his apology, Darcy still manages to wind himself up once more. Worse he becomes aware that he has sworn in Elizabeth’s presence and that thought does away with the some of his ire. Darcy turns to her to give her a lengthy apology and express remorse over his ungentlemanly rant, but he instead is astonished to see Elizabeth suppressing a laugh. The more she fights for control of her mirth, the more ridiculous the situation becomes. A minuscule grin begins to crawl across Darcy’s face. Soon it grows until he is trying to repress some laughter of his own.

  “I have been nonsensical have I not?” Darcy asks. “I do not think I can help myself.” Darcy gives a small little contrite grin. “I should not admit this but once Henry asked me if I thought God has a sense of humor. Without hesitation, I answered him in the affirmative and named Mr. Collins as my proof.” Darcy and Elizabeth share a guilty chuckle.

  “You have put into words what I have often thought. I felt distressed for Charlotte when she accepted him, but she did so because for her it was a prudent match. She told me she was not a romantic like me. You know, she also told me she thought you might have been interested in me, but I foolishly laughed it off.”

  “We both denied the attraction, but now we are here and joined for all eternity. I should not have allowed what you told me about Collins to vex me so but I cannot tolerate the man’s ways. So tell me, are there any others I should be made aware of?” Darcy fixes his eyes on her, but there is merriment in them.

  “No, there has not been. No one but you, however, I will admit to one more thing. Even in my initial irritation and annoyance with you, I have to say I hoped deep down that you did not find me wanting. It was easier to dismiss you than to think you thought poorly of me.” Elizabeth confides in him while she lost herself in his eyes.

  “I too did not want you to harbor resentment against me even though I deserved it. I did not wish for you to think ill of me. We sure went to lengths to disguise our feelings- how wrong-headed we were. If follies and whims do divert you, our beginning supplied more than enough fodder.” Darcy reaches over and softly strokes her cheek. His eyes are full of the love. As they both begin to eat the repast laid out before them, Darcy speaks of his stallion and some of his life at Pemberley.

  Darcy tells her about the time shortly after the death of his father, that he would often go into the stables as the horses were always a source of comfort to him. A particularly striking foal with a deep black coat caught his attention. The foal promised to be a well-defined animal with sturdy limbs and very muscular. The young horses were turned out together once they were weaned, so the youngsters made up their own herd. From the beginning, the horse-colt avoided the other colts, often standing apart from the others and rarely engaged in any play. Every now and again, when the colt did mingle, he always seemed to have the others fearful of him. Soon, he assumed leadership of the small band. Darcy ordered the stable staff that no one was to train the horse except him. Darcy told her how the head groomsman, Mr. Fells warned him about the young stallion when he stated he did not like the cold, calculating gleam in the horse’s eyes.

  Darcy explained how he worked with the animal exclusively as it took him many months to gain the animal’s trust. Once he did, the training went remarkably fast and easy. He spoke of how he understood the horse’s temperament, and in his opinion, the equine did not trust others easily. He told her, “I saw something in that horse, I understood him as he did me. There was turmoil there even though the stallion had never known abuse but something in the horse made him wary of others. It was only through patience and understanding that the horse’s potential was unleashed. I named him Tempest because of the turmoil I witnessed, and soon he became a most loyal mount, one who understands me as I understand him.”

  Darcy a faraway look is in his eyes as he recounted the breaking and training of Tempest along with the daring rides and jumps the two partook in. The equine is almost unbeatable by others’ horses, and he seems to possess the same confidence and haughty demeanor of his Master. The pair is striking. Once Darcy finished, Elizabeth busied herself with the rearranging dining items so Darcy would not view the tears which threatened to spill. Elizabeth wonders if he sees the parallels between him and his horse. Both alone and aloof, waiting for someone to free each from his prison. She imagines he may very well have seen the correlations, as he is a very as
tute man.

  Her mind wanders over all the little things he did for her during the weeks before the wedding. He picked certain books out both had read and offered her contrasting opinions to just spark debate. Elizabeth tested his mettle, and he responded. Their debates were never mean or cruel but enlightening especially for Darcy who marveled at Elizabeth’s intellect. Other thoughtful gestures such as supplying a good rug to cover her should they venture out in the curricle and preparing her tea to her liking then serving her, if he could beat the servants to it, came to mind. He complimented her hair, clothes and as always her eyes. Elizabeth was not vain but she could not but help to attend to her appearance more so Darcy would notice. She recalled how he deferred to her when planning visits or what dinner invitations they should accept. She greatly appreciated the lengths he went to while improving his reputation.

  An especially romantic memory was the boat ride he orchestrated on the small lake near Longbourn. How he managed to procure the boat she would never know. A small basket was ensconced on the boat, and after he rowed them out to an acceptable distance, he treated her to a picnic lunch and some poetry. It was one of the most touching moments of her life. Their love deepened more than what they had dreamed during this time.

  Elizabeth replayed their joining. He never rushed her and never demanded and had instead awakened a hunger in her that only he could satisfy. He protected her and treated her with reverence and respect. These carnal thoughts caused her to flush a bit, and she felt tingles over her body. She hoped he would call an end to the meal soon because she craved him and his touch. Darcy must have sensed her turmoil because he gave her a smoldering stare which she returned. He made their excuses, and they retired their staff for the night. Unlike the first night together, they did not hesitate but commenced a frenzied joining.

  During the rest of the night when they were not dozing or engaging in intimacies, they would remain in the bed, propped up by numerous pillows. Sometimes Darcy would have some wine for them to drink and other times Elizabeth just curled into his side as she listened to him talk about any topic which came to mind. It was this communion and togetherness they both treasured and neither wished to be separated by sleeping in different bedchambers or because of some stuffy artificial rule of Society. They relied on the presence of one another. As they lay together, they talked softly about hopes and dreams, their future, children and the estate. Once at Pemberley they would take a close look at the sleeping arrangements and change them to accommodate their desires.